“I Would Make A Better Hitler Than Hitler!”

“Why does February have, like, no days??”

-Someone I used to think was smart

“He’s not Year 7 stupid, he’s Year 9 stupid.”

-My friend, describing her brother in Year 7

“She’s a basic bitch with a basic calculator”

-One of the wisest people I ever knew

“Hula Hoops are the food of the Gods!”

-Me, being right

"I hate it when people find my corpse..."

“Zounds, ye whore!”

-Literally William Shakespeare

“He’s such an overprotective mother hen sometimes.”

-My friend, while literally talking about Satan

He ate his friend. He ate his fucking friend

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

“You’re in trouble!”

-My science teacher in the same way kids do after someone was told to come to the office

“Need I remind you of your grandmother’s murderous intentions?”

-Me, probably about to get murdered by one of my friends grandmas