Im Playing Skyrim And A Dragon Was About To Show Up So You Could Hear It Roaring In The Distance And

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

Tubbo_ has made the advancement [MICHAEL MY BELOVED]

Ranboo has made the advancement [Villain Arc Time]

Awesamdude has made the advancement [Haha I'm In Danger]

Wilbur Soot: Hey Tubbo, have you seen Tommy around?

Tubbo: No, what's up?

Wilbur: Tommy messaged me saying "I hate men women are poggers" and I answered back "You're a man though" and he replied "I can fix this, give me a minute" so I asked him half an hour ago what he meant by that, and he still hasn't answered.

Wilbur: I'm not worried about him or anything, but I still don't know what that means.

Tubbo: It means he needs a minute to fix it :3

Wilbur: Yes but what does that mean???

Tubbo: I dunno how to explain it better, Bossman, he just needs a minute to fix the problem.

Wilbur: ...Forget it. Ranboo-

Ranboo: Just give him a minute Wilbur, he'll fix it :3

“Ranboo makes me feel safe, I’m going to Ranboo”

- Wilbur, wholesome

Jack: Cas I need you to come pick me up right now

Cas: Why

Jack: Dean is passive aggressively doing the dishes he asked me to do 8 hours ago

Jack: This house isn’t safe for me anymore

2012!Raph: *Screams*

R!Donnie: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

2012!Leo: Should we do something?

R!Leo: No, I want to see who wins.

tommy : what happened to bros before hoes

tubbo : but it’s ranboo ~

tommy : …fair enough, have a nice day

ranboo : d-did you just

ranboo : did you just call me a h o e

/rp

Incorrect Quotes 9

Sam: you can ask me one question, and one question only that I will answer

Jack: why aren't there uppercase and lowercase numbers?

Sam: what?

Jack: I wanna write angry numbers

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Dean: you read my diary?!?

Castiel: I didn't realize it was your diary

Castiel: at first, I thought it was a sad, handwritten book

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Sam: I'm here

Sam: come out

Dean: I'm bisexual

Sam: I love you and support you, but I meant that I'm outside

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Jack: shouldn't we find Gabe?

Lucifer: oh he'll be back

Gabriel: hi guys!

Lucifer: see! Like a shit terminator

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Dean: what's the WiFi password?

Sam: we are at a funeral

Dean: with spaces in between?

Dean: it didn't work

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Dean: handcuffs? Kinky

Cop: first of all, I'm a cop

Cop: second of all, you're being arrested

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Adam: are you mad?

Michael: no.

Adam: so sharpening knives at 2am is just a hobby?

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Sam: Dean, we need to talk about your will

Dean: what about it?

Sam: the only thing it says is "bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with archeologists lmao"

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Gabriel: are you talking to youself?

Sam: yes

Sam: it's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation here

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Sam: if I ever get killed by a seriar killer, I will die doing what I love doing

Sam: learning too much about seriel killers

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Dean: so what's your favourite position in bed?

Castiel: near the wall so I can use my phone while charging

Dean: seriously?

Castiel: what?

----------------------------------------------------

Sam: how are you sleeping?

Dean: like a baby

Dean: every two hours I wake up sreaming

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Gabriel: we're playing Scrabble, it's a nightmare

Charlie: Scrabble? Scrabble's great

Gabriel: not when you're playing with Sam, it's not. He puts words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog"

Ever since I found the theory that the 9th Doctors leather jacket used to belong to Fitz I can't help but imagine senerios where Jack mistakes a confused Fitz for The Doctor because he recognized that leather jacket.

Gabriel: Grammar tip “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance

Sam: Do you? Do you need a hug?

Gabriel, tearing up: Yes...