This Place Is Whole

Too Much

This is the story of my life

I get too much love

Too much

And I’m just not built to hold it

Perhaps I was built for the low life

But sometimes I get too many punches

Too many

And I’m just not built to hold your knuckle sandwich

I’m starting to think I wasn’t made for loving you

I’m too full of hate and anger

Too full

And I’m just about to take it out on you

Because you have too much love

You’re too clingy

Too clingy

I’m not built for you to suck away my life like the leech you are

The more you latch and attach yourself to me the more you repel me

Too much death

Too much

And it has and is currently surrounding me

Along with the presence of a rock and a hard place

Too much love and too much party punch

Too much,

To ever digest

When will it end?

Or will it never?

It’s been too much

But I’m done caring about the past which has only been one extreme to another like,

One foot in a bucket of ice and another in fire

Too far on opposite sides

Too far

They do not balance out in a nice way

One extreme and the other one

Hopes and dreams too far

Too much,

Too far

You Knocked My Walls Down

You managed to knock down my walls

Which in itself

Is an impressive task

You knocked them down

And now I'm left in this deserted wasteland

Of thoughts

I look around

At the angry graffiti

That I am not proud of

I've built Berlin Walls

Around myself

And it's a fresh feeling having them knocked down

But I'm scared

Of the creepers

And the things that live in the shadows of the trees

You knocked my walls down

And now all that’s left is

Me

Summer

Summer will not make me dumber

With no stress, I'm more depressed

Biased people with remainders of my past, in my brain it will never last

I can't breath; It's debilitating but I'm not suffocating

Give me a car and I'll take it far

Wishing things were different, kissing your black shoe

Waiting for that day, knowing you'll be hesitating

Waking up without a mission, then going fish'n

Feeling like you're not going to get there, life is only so fair

Dreamers with their silly fantasy dreams, fighting for them but not getting ice creams

They became depressed, while they were back in their nest

They stopped fighting, and tried rewriting

Their progress plateaued, and started the downhill flow

Then out of nowhere their flame relit, and found the way out of the pit

They wrote of sugar coated endings, to deal with the god sendings

Of summer never being a bummer

The Nights Drag On

The days drag on

They slip through my fingers

And dive under my legs

Running on that dang treadmill

Wake up and run

Repeat

A trillion tons of pressure

No thoughts

Halls that stretch on forever

Junior problems

Became senior ones

Goodness making me want to puke

Coldness

Eating away at my hollow bones

I feel like I’m the only hydrated piece of sand in the desert

The only dry fish in the sea

Someday I’ll get speared

Not spared

A book thrown down stairs

Forgetting sunrises

And not regretting it

Invisible issues are the atoms that make me up

Holding in and holding on and exploding

Walls are shaking with,

The darkness of given up days

(That’s all of them)

I don’t sleep because I can breathe at night

The nights drag on…

New Neighbors

Sweep sweep

I can hear you sweeping at 11 at night

And I like it

I felt like I was the only awake at this time in the world

All alone

Trying to figure out how the world works

But your bristles whispered a sweet lullaby to my ear

And it sang of frustration and hard work

And the classic evil shadows that lurk and try to get to me

The only one left

To feel the weight of the unknown variables

Trying to make sense of my senseless senses and poorly formed sentences

Shweep shweep

Maybe you are nesting

Maybe I want to be resting and in bed

I bet the garage light is on while you sweep

And I bet it looks warm

From my calculated cold point of view

Hot Tears

Hot tears could set this place on fire

All these flame flame flames

Who aim aim aims

These flame flame flames

At me?

But even if this place burned down

It would lack lack lack,

You, come back come back come back

I lack lack lack

The part, of my heart that you took

I've become so hot that I'm blue

Into my life you came came came

Do you think this is a game game game

The way that you came came came

And left me

You left me with hope that has evaporated

You had hope hope hope

To keep this boat afloat float float

I want that beautiful hope hope hope

Sos

I know that I'm just wasting paper thinking that we shall meet again

Life just seems lame lame lame,

Without you, do you feel the same same same,

About this being lame lame lame

Amy?

Dead in a Shallow Puddle

The face of it

The eyes fully open as if it was looking for something in me

The short hair sticking straight up, floating in the gentle movement

of the little puddle

But the eyes, cold, ice, blue

I dared to touch the dead person's face

I could see the sky, wind, water in those blue eyes

Wondering what their story might have been

The eyes were still alive, searching

You could tell that the body was withering away

In those eyes there was everything but fire

The bones becoming visible

There was nothing scary in those eyes

Who left them behind like this?

You could tell from their eyes that the person was gentle but they were too

delicate,

Like frosting on a cake

What was the last thing those rich eyes saw?

How many winters?

His eyes give me meaning

Something to live for even though he is dead

But his eyes stay awake

Then it hit me like a sword in the throat, he did it to himself

But his eyes are so big and beautiful

Why did he do that?

Those eyes of ice

His body was ice

His eyes spoke of sweet passions and dreams

He must have been a hard worker

But I fell in live with those eyes of ice

My heart will forever be frozen in time

His eyes alive

If only by miracle he came back to life

My eyes are locked with his

I always fall in love with something I can't have

Why must my eyes do that?

Brokenhearted

I left brokenhearted

I guess that’s what growing up is like

Even though I never really seem to grow up

And I guess that’s the problem

How do you grow up?

Why do you grow up?

If I can keep it from being my fault

I don’t want to become one with the boring adults

With them, time has run its course and mellowed

Time wears you smooth like sea glass

And it doesn’t stop for anyone, anything

From our minds it can go fast and slow

I don’t want to mellow

I will not fall in love with classical music, I’ll stick with 2CELLOS

Why stop rocking out?

Why stop having sharp edges?

I'm already getting jealous of young age

At the same time being jealous of an older age

But not quite jealous of death,

No, not quite

Is it better than being in pain?

Is it better being lonely?

It’s not very funny

When you run out of living money

I am jealous of how my generation gets put into stereotypes

When they say we’re all going to lose our hearing

Then you ask what type of stereo we like

And I’ll say I don’t like any!

Don’t put us in groups

You seem to like talking in stiff loops

Why should we respect you when you don’t respect us?

Do you think respect is a one way street?

Groups of stupid, lazy, unhealthy

I'm going about to turn the tables; this is actually all your fault

Thanks for handing us our high school diplomas with a nice finishing touch, debt

You could have tried to hand us a nice life

Do you think we are happy in our hellish lives?

Do you think we all fit into one singular standard?

Some of us are working hard so we might have a glimpse at a small chance,

With a lonely, painful, brokenhearted romance

Time Bomb

I'm a ticking time bomb

A bottle full of pressure

The cork is stuck

I won’t give them a warning to duck

Will shatter into a million pieces

A broken pencil

Not usable or wanted

You get taunted

Never picked first

But yet I get picked on first

Yet if someone just sharpened me…never

They still won’t let me pull the lever

I'm treading in high water and I'm getting tired

Going to blow eventually

No one can see all the pressure rising higher yet

Later, they might have regrets

What will they say when you explode?

Is that what they want?

They’ll laugh at the exploded mess,

And your unrealistic progress

Good luck picking yourself back up

Why don’t they just shut up already?

Why don’t you just open up to someone

Instead of hiding behind a zinger or a pun

Lachrymorose

Seconds away from crying

This Hoover Dam of an eyelid is doing a good job

But it’s seconds away from breaking

All these tears dammed up inside could make Lake Lachrymose,

Leeches, Aunt Josephine and all

That was until she took the fall...

Tears on a cliff

Stacked up on a penny

About to spill over the thin edge

My hot tears

Have the potential

To set this place on fire

I know that

If I were to let them tumble down

They would burn my flesh with streams of lava

Droplets from the sun

Rain from Venus

This salt water is boiling within

Like tears from Rappaccini’s daughter

I am on my own

For I am poison

But I refuse to let them fall

Like pieces of hell

Raining from the ceiling