Its So Windy My Poor Poor Chickens Are Being Blown Around Like Dry Leafs They Look Like This

Another theme that ends up coming up again and again in my work is the idea of self-preservation. Exploring the lengths people will go to to keep themselves safe. The threat can come from anywhere, and put anything in danger, and it might seem trivial but it doesn't matter because to that person, what's in danger is the most important thing to save.

I think in some ways decisions made in fear are the hardest to walk back. People become irrationally, overwhelmingly obsessed with protecting themselves when they think they're going to get hurt. In the moment, the fear makes it seem normal, so whatever lengths they go to to save themselves is justified. The excuse of safety has to make everything okay.

It has now become fond ....

fein and couri as their main val characters

21 & 32 for the writer's asks :3

hi ezra! thank you for the ask :3

21. What stops you from writing more in your free time?

you guys all know me too well.... i even have a tag on my blog talking about how i never write. im ngl i have a lot more free time than it seems but i spend a lot of it doing... tbh idek half the time. my motivation is quite the fickle creature and its pulled in a thousand different directions at any given moment. that is further compounded by the fact that i get really easily stuck when writing. i envy the people who can whip things out quickly, even just as a first draft. even when i tell myself to just write whatever i almost always end up getting bogged down in some sort of dilemma about word choice or filler action or something probably not actually as significant as im making it. also the projects im most invested in (and therefore actually have enough motivation to push myself to write) either are long works or require further development before i can really get to the meat of it and well. what can i say i have an instant gratification monkey in my brain that is extremely good at getting what it wants, and what it wants is very much not conducive to getting writing done.

32. A character you enjoy making suffer.

now this is a really interesting one. i very much have favorites. i like them for many reasons, but one of them is probably that they’re fun to put into situations. do those situations sometimes involve what the character would consider suffering? yeah. so i don’t really enjoy making a character suffer so much as i enjoy throwing them into a new environment and seeing how they react. im splitting this into two parts, one for oc and one for like. fic stuff because if you know me you know that no one can compete with my most beloved oc, evelyn. she’s very fun to put into situations because she reacts to things in a nonstandard way. shes not afraid to break things (unless she’s imposed a rule on herself to be a good tourist and not break things). she gets annoyed in an extremely entertaining manner at “minor inconveniences” (her definition may not match most people’s). I don’t think I can really do my love for her justice without breaking it out into an entirely separate post complete with a cut.

anyways, as for fic… well, pulling from one of my current fandoms, it might be a bit of a boring choice but I really do love putting fein in situations. Or at least, my conception of c!fein. I think part of what makes a character situationsable is how solid of a grasp I have on them, and he’s definitely one of the more solid ones. he also works really well with a concept I like to play with a lot—godhood. (now who saw that one coming?) and if my explorations of those concepts happen to not end in the most ideal way for our focus character? well sucks for them i guess, but it’s very fun for me. so yeah id say i put him through the wringer (mostly in my main ongoing). also he’s fun to knock down a few pegs. thinking about how there’s always a bigger fish.

i used to have this dried ghast that i would pour milk on and suck the milk back out of and it was sopping wet all the time 😭i used to slam it against walls and it would make a loud thud

boys go to jupiter

The most frustrating part of being trans is that you can't win.

My uni has quite a few all-gender washrooms. (Specifically all-gender, cis people are absolutely encouraged to use them). And despite the fact that there are womens washrooms everywhere on campus as well, I've had cis women treat me with borderline disgust when I use the all-gender bathroom. I've had people tell me that "sure, its all genders, but when a cis man uses it its just weird".

And like. Thats the point! Even IF a cishet man using a washroom he is specifically allowed in was weird. Even then. You have to understand that no trans or nonbinary person can safely use an all-genders washroom if using it means they are either trans or female.

Like to be very clear- I am a cis-passing trans man. There are so many reasons I feel more comfortable in a non-gendered washroom. Even if I was cis I woild likely want to, because I am gnc and don't always feel safe in purely male spaces. And even if I was the cissest, hetesst, most gender conforming man on the planet, I might still want to use it because its closer to my classes.

And really, this all comes back to this deeply transmisoginistic idea that Men Are A Threat to Women in Womens Washrooms,, which. If I have to explain to you why this is purely a propagandistic falsehood I really think you need to do a gender 101 course.

Gender neutral washrooms cannot be "women Lite washrooms". In order to protect trans people, at all stages of coming out and transition and of all presentations, for the love of god stop dictating who can use all-gender washrooms.

I also walked myself into a corner r.e. leaving out the context for Nerdi's big blowout scene because it's critical for everything else in the story 😭 dancing around the full scene is really kneecapping what I think I should and shouldn't include

I will say that Grave Digging's second chapter has a document 7 pages long that's mostly scraps of scenes