I Think I Need To Just Lay Under The Stars.

I think I'm ready to crawl out of my 6 month long, dark, lonely burnout hole once again to grace the Internet with some original content, some finely curated, self made posts.

But I'm out of ideas. Or maybe I've just become to insecure about all the things my brain conjures up. But I long for community.

~✧°+* 10/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

09.08.2023

10% done with the challange!

I finally got to analyzing the poem I wanna write my essay on. I had a blast! I love writing essays and enjoy pretty much every step of the process, but working with primary texts still is my favourite. It reminds me why I decided to study English literature.

I also continued reading All Quiet on the Western Front. I really love this book and should manage to finish it by the end of the week. Maybe I'll check out some of Remarque's other books!

Positive things I did today:

kept the duolingo Spanish streak going

studied at the library

went for a walk

read outside

went to a café to relax after studying

Hours slept: ~9hrs 3mins Screentime: 3hrs 30mins Steps taken: ~6.600

The fact that all of the foreign Captive Prince editions have literally the prettiest covers and we’re stuck with this basic shit annoys me to no end

English:

Japanese: (they have ILLUSTRATIONS. Do you understand???😭😭😭 gonna go learn Japanese)

Taiwanese:

Polish: I—This is everything. Like, everything.

(The first cover is literally one of the best arts of Capri I’ve ever seen)

Dear Berkley books,

This is a crime, one i will not stand for. So,

TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY AND GIVE ME CAPTIVE PRINCE, ILLUSTRATED, WITH THESE COVERS

A flawless plan, as always

stardew valley flora 🌻

i've been wanting to try one of these botanical posters in my style, and the 1.6 update was the perfect excuse✨

𝙱𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎

obsessed with mass market paperbacks. their pleasing rectangular proportions. how they fit badly in a hoodie pocket so you can drag them around everywhere with you like a temporary little buddy. the way they fit in your hand because they're MADE for human hands and not as bookshelf decoration. the way the pages feel when you riffle them gently with your thumb. How pristine and crisp they look when you get them and how creased and folded they look when you're done, even if you try to be nice to them. how that wear is okay, how that's correct actually, because they're made with the philosophy that books aren't meant to be PRETTY, they're meant to be read. that little ripple new ones get on the left side from where you hold them when you're reading, the way the ripple only goes as far as you've read, because u change stories by reading as they are changing you. how you can find thousands of these creased and folded and loved little dudes in every thrift store and used book shop and neighborhood library and you can instantly see the ones that someone carried around in a backpack for weeks or read to pieces or gave up on halfway through because they wear being read like fresh snow wears footprints. I love these poorly made, subpar little rectangles so much. truly the people's books.

~✧°+* 35/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

07.09.2023

(this post was written several days in retrospect)

Birthday time!

My siblings turned 17. this year and every time I think about that I am reminded of my own mortality.

Things I did this day:

celebrated my siblings' birthday

spent time with family

helped attend guests

Hours slept: ~6hrs Screentime: ~7hrs 15mins Steps taken: ~1.500

~✧°+* 41/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

13.09.2023

I had one of the most stressful e-mail exchanges ever today. It was with a professor of mine (the dean of the English department and therefore also technically my boss) and it was... a truly surreal experience. It was basically just both of us trying to be as polite as possible which, in the end, lead us to basically get nowhere with that conversation. It was so strange it was funny, but I hope something like that never happens to me again :')

Other than that my day was mainly filled with chores. Sadly, I still haven't managed to fully get back to my academic tasks. I want to but I just can't concentrate. On Sunday I'll be going back to my appartment and things should improve from there! Next weekend will also be super packed (more birthdays and plans with friends), which gives me a nice, gentle personal deadline.

Positive things I did that day:

did two loads of laundry

went grocery shopping

fed the pets

cooked lunch for the family

started doing some paper work

watched 2 episodes of the Netflix show Liebes Kind (very good so far!)

Hours slept: ~ 8hrs 30mins Screentime: ~7hrs Steps taken: ~1.000