My Whole Life Has Been A Play Of Obsessions And Distractions. To Be Obsessed With Something So It Distracts

~✧°+* 6/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

03.08.2023

A very eventful but also very nice day! Sadly tho, despite spending quite some time working, I made very little progress on things :') The paper I have to write is for a class on astronomy and the heavens in early modern literature nad it's proven super hard to find a topic that provides me with enough secondary reading... I alos have to admit that I am not the best at working with poetry. I am a prose girlie, a short story girly, perhaps a drama girly. But the topic I am leaning towards at the moment is in relation to a poem we've read... I'm hoping to make a decission on that soon :/

I've also really been loving All Quiet on the Western Front. My friend pointed out how much this book is not a light hearted summer read and - well - they're right. But it's keeping me engaged and excited to read, so I won't complain!

Positive things I did today:

kept the duolingo Spanish streak going

had a study date at the library

read in the morning and in the evening

got coffee with a friend

cooked a warm meal

did (part of) the laundry

scheduled a meeting

Hours slept: ~8hrs Screentime: 4hrs 45mins Steps taken: ~7.800

You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn't love her. Because you don’t destroy people you love.

Grey’s Anatomy

~✧°+* 19/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

18.08.2023

Do you also have those friends that you love dearly and have fun hanging out with, but who you simply can't talk about work with? I have a very strict (and borderline toxic) work ethic in which I have very high expectations towards myself and hold myself to a certain standard I feel like I have to meet in order to be worth something (which is crazy, I realize that). I don't hold other people to those standards, but when I do have conversations about work and academia with people who are a bit more relaxed about it I get incredibly anxious. And something like that happened today, which kind of forced me to take a break from the Hamilton essay because I was freaking out, thinking I wasn't doing enough and too much at the same time. I'm pretty sure I'm on the right track but I still doubt myself a lot when it comes to those things, especially when I am talking to people who are older or in higher semesters.

I tried to drown out the buzzing sound of anxiety with Sims and it honestly worked quite well.

Positive things I did today:

organized my Hamilton sources

took a break when I was feeling stressed

took a walk

continued reading Swimming in the Dark

Had a couble of drinks with friends

Hours slept: ~7hrs Screentime: ~7hrs 30mins Steps taken: ~9.100

~✧°+* 15/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

14.08.2023

A very, very eventful day! A friend of mine is staying with me for a few weeks to cut down on commuting costs while she's attending a block course at our university and the whole day revolved around getting things settled and prepared for that.

I didn't get anything productive done because of that but it still felt like a very successful day!

Getting jump scared by the Mollymauk/Lucien book just sitting between Sally Rooneys at the book shop also added some spice to the day.

Positive things I did today:

spend time with friends

went for a walk

Hours slept: ~7hrs 30mins Screentime: ~3hrs Steps taken: ~13.800

{Words by José Olivarez from Citizen Illegal /@fatimaamerbilal , from even flesh eaters don't want me.}

08.08.2023

Trying really hard to get in the groove again. The anxiety and dread that comes with my approaching deadlines is not helping in that regard.

Positive things I did today:

kept the duolingo Spanish streak going

cooked a warm meal

went on a walk

literature research for one of my essays

continued reading All Quiet on the Western Front

Hours slept: ~8hrs Screentime: 3hrs Steps taken: ~5.700

stardew valley flora 🌻

i've been wanting to try one of these botanical posters in my style, and the 1.6 update was the perfect excuse✨

~✧°+* 24/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

27.08.2023

In the context of this challange I'd like to forget about the past four days in their entirety.

I haven't necessarily been feeling bad, but I was in a constant state of stress and overstimmulation that didn't allow me to function normally, like... at all.

Today I arrived at my parents'. I'll be staying with family until mid September. I have a few things planned, like my siblings' birthday party and a DnD session with friends, though fo the most part I'll be focusing on finishing my assignments and finding a rhythm again. I honestly think that not being around people (other than my family) will do me good.

Positive things I did today:

cleaned my apartment

did laundry

Hours slept: ~9hrs 30mins Screentime: ~3hrs 30mins Steps taken: ~600

words words words

a lot of anti-historian stuff comes across like “i want history to be simple and i am suspicious of people who tell me it’s not” and this is a thing you see from people on any place on the political spectrum