Sunsetdreamxr - Findingmysanity

Loki, The god of being polite compilation

what are some of your favourite quotes about growing up? also, orange is the best colour, undisputed.

Lorde, A NOTE FROM THE DESK OF A NEWBORN ADULT

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Sandra Cisneros, Eleven

Kalyn Roseanne Livernois, High Wire Darlings

John Hughes, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Storyboarding for Linked by Air

Mitch Welling, Gentle Earth

Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin

J. Courtney Sullivan

Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

when u used to be the topper before covid who participated in everything and got good marks and won at everything so now everyone has high expectation of u but youve let yourself go during covid and now you get bad marks and dont win at anything and you KNOW you could if you tried to but u just cant get yourself to try and do anything and you feel so guilty and you'va also become unfit and you have to reduce your weight but u can stop eating junk and hate exercising also everyone else is getting better at everything and people who used to look up to you or ask you for studies now are the ones u have to ask and they keep going forward while you're going backward and you know you keep disappointing your parents but they are so good about it and dont say much and they will support you in whatever you do but you just dont want to do anything and again you feel so guilty and olympiads are also coming and you havent studies one bit and the other kids are so good at everything you dont know how and you REALLY wanna get your life back on track but you dont have any motivation and where do u even start

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2020—)

Trueeee

I’m so glad they’re basically just playing themselves with super powers. [x]

Why Dean Winchesters ending will never be forgiven.

(People who are giving 10* reviews DO NOT understand the depth of the individual characters. You are saying things like “the ending was perfect” and “others are just mad they didn’t get their ship.” This is simply NOT true. This essay is for you.)

It’s about every single character individually. To understand each character you must be able to understand complex psychological arcs and profound emotions. Especially Dean’s life and his story is INSANELY complex and needs days, maybe weeks to be unwrapped and analyzed in depth. To please you, I will try to write about Dean’s story without mentioning Castiel, but the simple truth is, Cas is a massive part of Deans arc.

Stop saying Dean’s death was beautiful or poignant or fitting or how it was supposed to be, ‘cause HELL it was not, it was the exact opposite. It was the worst way they could’ve ended his life and his story. It was exactly what Dean never wanted.

Dean’s childhood was highly abusive. Dean was 4 years old when he saw his mother burning alive and learned that monsters are real. In that age he developed PTSD and stopped talking. Dean had a childhood with a father that was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abusive, who had believed that Dean had a “killer instinct". When Dean was about 6 years old, John forced him into a nurturing role for Sam. In the same age Dean was forced into the soldiers role as well when John taught him how to shoot and hunt. Dean had to obey orders without questioning. If he acted “out of line,” (aka something John didn’t like) John chewed him out or left them alone. Dean was trained to be Daddy’s blunt instrument. Dean gave up his own life to keep Sam safe, because he had no other choice. More than a brother Dean had to be a father and a mother to Sam. He suppressed everything, every psychological pain, every emotion, he just lived to protect Sam and to obey as Johns blunt little soldier. Short: Dean gave up HIMSELF for Sam and John.

Now that I explained the fundamentals to you, you can understand that Dean never had anything. Everything always was just Sam. Not because he wanted to, because he was forced into it. Dean hated himself, he was suicidal. He was convinced he isn’t worthy of anything, especially not being loved. Dean never had a life for his own, never had a choice, never had a chance, never had own original thoughts, never felt safe or loved. He was used to being left. He felt like he was nothing. Worthless. He was dead inside. Broken. You can’t even imagine that level of pain and suffering. 

Dean thought that way his whole life. I am going to write that again to make this very clear: Dean thought that way his whole life. You can’t imagine the burden he carried on his shoulders, it’s a miracle he stood upright. Dean never wanted that life! He was forced into it! Dean had at least 3 very important scenes where you can clearly see how his mindset changed little by little. He wanted to change, he wanted to retire! 

Then something happened. Someone opened his eyes. Someone who saw Dean exactly the way he is, looked him into his eyes and told him the truth: He is not Daddy’s blunt instrument. He is worthy. He is loved so much that someone dies for him and only for him. Someone wants Dean to finally live his life. The life he always deserved, his own life! Someone is saying, you gave everything you had your whole life, but I am willing to give everything I have for only you. Unconditionally. Dean is shocked. How is it possible someone loves him that much? And even more: The ONLY one who ever grew outside of GOD’s control, the ONLY one that was real in his whole Chuck-written life, the only one who CHOSE to stay loved him unconditionally!?

For the first time, he understood he is not the way he saw himself his whole life. I just have to say that: Castiel was the ONLY real thing in Deans life. His confession was fundamental to Dean to finally accept his own goodness and the value of his life and love, of his identity. It was the moment of breaking free of the structure that had controlled and corrupted him his entire life. It was the only way out of his abusive and traumatizing cage to experience something for his own the very first time. For the first time in his life he has a chance. A choice! His own life! Free will, baby!

7 days. 1 rusty nail. The end.

Shocked? You should be.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS

Brother… Heimdall… You’d better be ready.

Tom Hiddleston in LOKI (2021)

me wearing all black minding my own bussines :

random mf : whose funeral is it?

me an INTJ mastermind : gotta decide.