I’m A Spy!

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.

like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.

cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:

random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?

jason: hey tim -

cass: wrong.

jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck

cass: nu-uh, this is from cain

jason:

cass:

jason: well this got awkward…

steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe

tim: wrong wayne

steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —

tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you

damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect

tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too

damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement

tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it

lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain

bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…

shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child

tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt

bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian

cass: too late, we’re blood

shiva: see!

Damian, who grew up with advanced tutors in every subject at the loa, would NOT be chill with having to denigrate himself towards putting up with fucking. Gotham level teachers. so like what if after finding out one of his previous tutors that 1) Damian actually considered acceptable, 2) is skilled in multiple subjects, and 3) is Talia approved to the point of adoption, is actually in Gotham working as the Red Hood, Damian just stops attending the school Bruce signed him up for.

he’s smart about it; gets dropped off and picked up outside the entrance every day, lets Alfred/Dick/Tim/Bruce see him enter and exit the building, acts like he’s adjusting really well to the civilian school system, and yet on gods green earth that boy has not attended a single fucking class in five months. three minutes into first period he’s out the window and getting a ride to Jason’s safe house to continue learning at a pace that he actually benefits from.

i feel like having helped raise/teach the kid for a couple years in the league and having worked with/been on sort of amicable terms with a few other of Damian’s tutors (the ones that didn’t get killed anyway), Jason would be familiar enough with Damian and his little ways and habits that he would know that the kid would 100% benefit more from home schooling that whatever bullshit public school Bruce put him in. Damian’s very self motivated so he knows there won’t be an issue in slacking off if he allows Damian to ditch school and sort of rule his own schooling from Jason’s apartment. he’ll do his own advanced mathematics, history, science, whatever the fuck he feels the need to brush up on during that day. English and most physical training Jason does take control of, but that was what they did in the league anyway so that’s normal to them; they’re just settling back into what for them is a normal routine.

the only thing Damian doesn’t like about ditching Gotham Prep and going to Jason’s for school is that Jason forces him to join social groups at least twice a week, whether it be a reading group at the library, a painting club, volunteering at a hospital or animal shelter, just so that he can still learn to interact with civilians. still, he likes that the activities are always tailored to what Jason knows he enjoys and it is preferable to being in a school for five days a week, so he lets it slide. he even gets a bit more vigilante training bcs occasionally he gets to tag along with Red Hood during the rare day mission, so long as his identity is hidden. Jason always drops him back off at the school fifteen minutes before 3 so that Damian can sneak in and walk out the front doors when the bells go, just a normal school student like everyone else.

he keeps stealing letters addressed to bruce and intercepting phone messages regarding his absence, and eventually he fakes emails from Bruce that withdraw Damian from the school as a whole. Jason’s honestly really impressed that nobody’s noticed but the longer it goes the funnier it gets so he keeps helping out. it gets to the point where it’s been like a year and he’s convinced Damian to actually test out of high school early and start attending college courses part time, so he’s literally spending his days going to Gotham Prep five minutes after classes start, picking up his little brother, secretly driving him to the college that he’s attending under the radar, and then driving him BACK to Gotham Prep before school ends so that nobody knows where he’s been.

even funnier is that Damian ends up convincing Jason to start doing a lit course two days a week at the same college. so at this point Damian is not only lying his ass off about his own education, but he’s doing it by going to college with his brother who everybody else in the family still thinks is fucking dead.

eventually Dick reminds Bruce that Damian’s class should be doing an award ceremony for moving up a year, and they all decide to go to surprise Damian with their support. they go in and Damian isn’t a part of the group of kids graduating and they’re just like ‘wait what’

one of the kids sees them and is like ‘hey aren’t you the Waynes?’ and when they’re like yeah the kid goes ‘haha cool, you know my older sister goes to college with Damian and his step-brother, it’s nice that they still get to see each other often after Damian had to move from their mom to you guys.’ and the entire family bluescreens for about four different reasons.

they eventually show up at the college and see Damian and Jason on the grass outside getting into a rapidly spiralling argument about whether or not two of the professors there are secretly having an affair and the whole thing unravels.

What DPXDC Trope are You? Uquiz

I'm back at it again boys.

Take a gander at what trope you are so i can inspect you like a bug.

How am I only just learning this!?

Reading amazing fanfiction, then forgetting to bookmark it

I cannot stress enough to Tumblr staff that they do not need to change the site. Do not try to be like Twitter. Do not try to be like Reddit. Do not alter how this site works.

Tumblr will be the most popular social media site if they continue letting all these other sites implode

The Bats observed Talia al Ghul meeting with a young girl in a café. They weren't sure why the meeting was happening. The girl happily recounted her day, including an incident where someone tried to kidnap her.

"And then, I punched him as hard as I could between the legs. He vomited on the ground," Ellie said.

Talia giggled. "Oh, good. That's how you do it. I taught you well—always aim for between the legs."

Several women in the café nodded in agreement. Ellie continued, to talk.

From the Batcave, Barbara/Oracle, who was monitoring the meeting, nodded as well.

After finishing their cake and coffee (Talia) and lemonade (Ellie), they left the café.

"Come on, Grandma. You promised we'd visit Old Man Ra today."

"Dear, he's your great-grandfather. Please try to find a better nickname."

"He told me to call him Gramps or Old Man. Since you're my grandma, calling him Gramps would be awkward."

+A/N+

You can retire of the League. Just first talk to Ra about it. And he fakes your death and new ID. (Example Dusan and Mara and Danny the first born.)

Just other than 4-5 persons no one did retire and just left and ran away. (Example Bruce Wayne and Nyssa)

Danny and Cass are Dr Doof and Agent P

So! Here's a simple prompt. Danny is a small time Villain who uses his Technical Mind to build batshit crazy Inventions in an attempt to take over the "Tri-City Area" (Gotham, Bludhaven, Metropolis). Cass is the Silent Badass who is stuck having to defeat him every time.

Just imagine it!

...

Danny: Ahhh, Orphan. What an unexpected surprise. And by Unexpected I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED! *slams buttom* *trap springs up around cass*

Cass: ...

Danny: Now, I bet you are wondering why I have covered all of Metropolis in Aluminum Foil. Well. IF I am to take over the Tri City Area, all three Cities must be together! So, using my Fenton-Magnet-Inator, I will pull Metropolis across the Harbor and unite all 3 cities! What do you think of that!? *turns back to cass*

Cass: *holding the dismantled trap with a bored look on her face* ...

Danny: ...Okay then, fine, whatever. It took me all day to design the perfect trap for you and you dismantled it in 5 seconds...I'm not upset...

Cass: *sheepish look* ...want to fight now...?

Danny: ...I would like that...

...

And if Danny is Dr Doofenshmirtz, and Cass is Agent P, who would Phineas and Ferb be? I vote for Jon and Damian.

And Tim is Candace.

...

Jon: I know what we're gonna do today!

Damian: This will be entertaining.

*5 hours later*

Tim: BRUU-UCE! Jon and Damian built a Kryptonian Flying Roller Coaster!

Bruce: I'm one of the world's greatest detectives Tim, I think I would have noticed that.

Tim: *also one of the world's greatest detectives* ...dude...

...

This was just a fun thought I had at work, but I feel like it works well enough.

This could be a Romantic Cass/Danny, or just regular old Frenemies Cass/Danny, but either way I just really love the concept of Danny being a Villain and Cass being the Hero constantly sent to stop him.

(Maybe he is too competent otherwise? The other Heroes don't know why, but every time someone other than Cass tries to stop him he is suddenly Extremely Dangerous. Maybe it's a Crush?)

new mcr logo pride wallapers! rb if you use