Latest Posts by susxiao - Page 3

he’s so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

it's a little cold today! || idia shroud

winter has started in twisted wonderland, and whatever is idia's is now also yours.

a/n: i wrote this for caelus originally 0-0 didn't get very popular- i'm trying it with idia

word count: 217 words

"you cannot keep doing this," you hear idia dramatically sob outside your (his) door in the rather chilly ignihyde dorm. you opt to focus on the anime on his computer screen. "stealing is a crime! you've already- wait, gimme a sec- stolen my heart, so what use are my extremely expensive and comfy sweaters?!"

"they're comfy! and since we're dating, it's our sweaters now." you yell back as idia flinches and rolls his eyes.

"what kinda logic is that?! give me back my sweaters please!!"he sighs with a soft smile as he opens the door to see you jump onto your (his) bed and burrow deep into your (his) quilts, content with winning the 'argument'. "you mind if i join you? you look real comfy right now."

"comfier than the sweaters?" you ask as you spread your arms wide, idia nodding as he jumped you, burying you underneath him and the blankets. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! IDIA NO, I WANNA BREATHE!"

"you stole my heart, i steal your breath," you hear your blue-haired lover mumble above you, decidedly too comfortable to move and as you moved him over you in a way that didn't hurt your ribs, you whispered a quick cringe-ass fucker, where the hell did you even learn to be so smooth from?, which made him giggle.

also ruined my birthday but we don't talk about that

this mean absolutely everything to me.

😧

Jealousy, Jealousy

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: fluff, comedy

Summary: you’re watching the final episode of Attack on Titan. Fully captivated with the anime and clearly simping over your favorite fictional character, your boyfriend throws a silly tantrum.

WC: 1.3k

a/n: I hope jjk and aot fans' mental health is okay, here is a fic to make up for the shibuya arc and aot's final ep :")

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Gojo Satoru has always been insufferable, it is a known fact to everyone in Jujutsu High. He had been more insufferable this past week, though. 

He had been complaining to his bestfriends about you and Suguru swears that he might shave his whole head or commit murder as a result of his insanity. Being the receiving end of Gojo’s relentless antics can make you go crazy like that. 

Suguru’s sitting on his best friend’s couch, doing the paper that both of them should be doing. Instead, Satoru has been whining endlessly about you, claiming that you aren’t giving him attention anymore since you got hyped for the last episode of your favorite anime show, Attack on Titan. 

“Satoru,” he sighs, rubbing his temples. “It’s normal for our age to be obsessed over shows. She’s not cheating on you, stop being dramatic.” 

“I know but all she does is talk about it!” Satoru crosses his arms over his chest before huffing, glaring at your poor Levi plushie. “Especially that shorty over there.” 

“You’re right, Satoru. Maybe she does love Levi over you.” Suguru smirks at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes which earned a sharp look from his best friend. 

“OH shut the fuck up Sugu-” 

Satoru’s rant came to an abrupt halt when his door swung open. You rushed to him, pulling him in a tight embrace. Caught off guard, Satoru stiffened for a moment before tentatively wrapping his arms around you, rubbing your back in a soothing pattern. His eyes widened when you started to sob, staining his shirt with your tears.  

(Suguru pretends he is non-existent in Satoru’s apartment) 

He couldn’t understand anything you’re saying because you’re sobbing and your voice is muffled with his shirt so he pulls away and looks at you worriedly, concern etching his features.  “What’s wrong, babe? What happened?”

He gently scoops you into his arms, settling on the couch with you nestled on his lap. 

“It’s over, Eren’s dead.” you mumbled, your voice laden with the aftermath of the episode . He couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter  that quickly died down when he saw your puffy eyes and the glare you shot his way. He halted his amused look when he noticed you pulling away but his grip on you remained still, preventing you from escaping. 

He grins at you, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “It’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” He assures you, his voice soothing. “Let’s get some ice cream and cuddle all day, yeah?” 

Satoru couldn’t help but to revel in the sensation of having your undivided attention, you just look so cute with your pout as you look at him with puppy eyes. The grip you have on him when he soothes you didn’t go unnoticed by him too. His eyes flickered to Suguru, who shook his head begrudgingly on the other side of the couch before returning to his work. 

“It’s such a shame, ‘Toru. I’m gonna miss Levi so much, my pretty pretty baby girl.”  you cooed, your eyes fixed on your phone. Satoru’s eyebrows shot up in confusion before your words registered in his brain.

“HA?!” He exclaimed and glanced over, only to find out that your lock screen wallpaper has been changed. No longer was it graced by Satoru’s cheeky grin as he stole a kiss from you, it had now been replaced by Levi ackerman. You constantly talking about your fictional ‘husband’ annoys your boyfriend but setting him as a wallpaper?! That is so low. You’ve done it now. 

Satoru looks at you in disbelief, his eyes wide in bewilderment. “Y/N! How could you betray your boyfriend like that?! It’s a show, he’s not real. He’s not your baby girl. I am!” 

A giggle escapes your lips as you look up at him“You’re my baby girl?” you teased. 

“That’s not the point.” He complains. “Why don’t you dote on your boyfriend instead?  I’m clearly more attractive and taller than Remy or whatever that guy’s name is.” 

“Satoru, you’ve read the manga. You know who Levi is.” Suguru chimed in, emitting a groan from your boyfriend. 

“Shut up Suguru! I thought you were on my side!” 

The next day, you were surprised when Satoru didn’t accompany you to school as usual. Throughout your shared class, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Not to mention that he styled and parted his hair differently, mirroring the look of your fictional crush. Suguru and Ieri couldn’t contain their laughter when they first caught sight of Satoru’s new look. 

Gone was his usual nosiness and his penchant for poking into other people’s business. Satoru, now wearing a stoic expression, glared at anyone who dared to look at him. It was clear that he was trying to also embody the persona of Levi Ackerman and you don’t know whether to feel concerned, annoyed, or amused. 

The breaking point came after your last class of the day. Back at Satoru's apartment, he continued with his newfound demeanor, and you'd had enough. Despite trying to hold back laughter at the absurdity of the situation, you found yourself missing the usual antics of your clingy and insufferable boyfriend.

When you requested for cuddles and he responded with a dismissive ‘tch.’ and that did it. You decided to take matters into your own hands so you straddled his lap and cornered him, smirking at the visible reaction you elicited from your boyfriend.

His eyes widened, cheeks flushing, as he looked at you in surprise. 

“Got you.” you grinned at him, your voice dripping with amusement. “I thought I was dating Satoru Gojo so why are you acting like Levi?”

He stammered for a moment, clearly caught off guard. "I-I thought you liked this... stoic stuff."

Rolling your eyes, you leaned in, your lips inches away from his ear. "I like my cute and energetic boyfriend way more," you whispered, the warmth of your breath causing a visible shiver to run down his spine.

“Well Satoru Gojo isn’t your wallpaper, is it?”  he grumbled, a hint of jealousy evident from his voice.  

"Come on, 'Toru, don't be jealous. Levi's just a fictional character. You're the real deal. I also changed back my wallpaper!" you opened your phone to reveal your lock screen, hoping to dispel his jealousy. You changed it back to his face. 

“But babe, you don’t love me anymore” he pouted, his lower lip jutting out a mockingly hurt manner, his expression resembling a wounded puppy. “I figured if I became a replica of him, you’d love me again.” 

You wanted to smack him but you decided against it. You know your boyfriend’s smart but you kinda doubted that once he made that conclusion.

“Satoru, it’s just a show. Of course, I love you!” you reassured, offering a warm smile to emphasize your sincerity. 

Satoru sighs in a deliberately exaggerated manner. A playful grin tugs at his lips as he looks at you.  "Fine, but I better get some extra attention tonight to make up for this betrayal," he demanded. 

You chuckled, and leaned in to plant a quick, affectionate kiss on his cheek. "Deal."

“Also, tell me you love me then.” He added, his hand squeezing your thigh. 

“I love you.” you reply sincerely, 

“Hm?” He leans his ear towards you. “What was that?” 

You decided to play along and plant a soft kiss on his lips, "I," another kiss, "love," followed by another, "you." and you conclude with a final, lingering kiss. 

"Happy?" you say, pulling back.

"Very much," Satoru grins at you victoriously. but then, he looks at you with a sly twinkle in his eyes. "Wait, no. Tell me you don't love Levi and that you'll throw your plushie away so I could cuddle you 24/7."

"No."

"BABE!" Satoru whines. 

You can't help but laugh at his theatrics and without a moment's hesitation, you shower him with even more affection and assurances. Needless to say, that day (and perhaps the entire week), you let him hog you to himself, indulging in countless cuddles and sweet gestures to nurse his ego back to full health.

★Stitched ★

Idia Shroud x Reader | ~5k words

Warnings: none really??? Idia is self deprecating as usual. Allusions to book 6 lore but no spoilers. I leaned into Idia’s weird hybrid inferiority/superiority complex (he’s frustrating and annoying but that’s my wife). I wrote way more than I intended lmao.

Info: GN Reader with no physical descriptions. slowish burn, potential to be friends to lovers? No resolution in the end, a smattering of angst bc Idia is… well he’s himself. Heavily based on his vignettes, Home Screen idles, etc etc (this is for the detail oriented baddies and by that I mean I have capital A Autism and I’ve been fixated on him for months). I have been very into the idea of Idia making cosplays and props since becoming obsessed w his Halloween card, so uh. Yeah! There’s no mention of what the reader’s costume is, so it can be whoever you want! Only mentions that it’s from a manga so go wild! <3

——————————————————————————

When Ortho Shroud suggested that you commission his brother to build a prop for your Halloween costume, you’d agreed enthusiastically. You’d even said something about how sure you were that it would look great- a compliment he’d pass on to his reclusive sibling. After all, Ortho was living(?) proof of Idia’s handiwork, so making a prop would be playing on easy mode. Ortho did neglect to mention that his brother was not taking commissions (and frankly never would if Idia had it his way), but it wouldn’t be that big of an issue, right?

Wrong. The second Idia’s phone pinged with a message from an unknown number, from your unknown number, he was convinced he was going to die.

You were lucky you’d stated your case all in one message- if you’d started with just a greeting and expected small talk he would’ve just preemptively blocked you to avoid your little side quest. Besides, who messaged someone so early in the morning? Another look at his phone through bleary eyes would show that it was actually 6 pm, but nonetheless! He’d just woken up, so it was still far too early for that kind of shameless extrovert behavior. At least your message was pretty concise; Ortho had passed along his number because you wanted to commission him, and you’d offer payment in exchange. As clear as that was, there was still a lot to unpack. Ortho’s intentions to find friends for him were clearly at play here, which would’ve ground his gears more if it all wasn’t so well meaning. But giving someone his number for a cosplay commission? That felt a little excessive! What kind of meet-cute scenario was this? And how on earth did you plan to pay for a custom piece anyway? Not that he would actually make it, of course, but hypothetically. He’d heard through the grapevine (read: Azul’s chattering during board game club meetings) that you had a part time gig at Monstro Lounge, but surely you wouldn’t be spending your limited in-game currency on a cosplay prop. While he thought it would be a stupid decision, he had to respect your dedication.

Hypothetically, of course.

Despite any reluctant interest he had in knowing what costume you were putting together, there was no way he’d actually agree to a commission. Besides, it was probably a lame request anyway. And who cares if you’d probably (definitely) look great in your costume? Certainly not Idia, no sir. And he totally didn’t think about how happy you’d be if he were to accept your commission (which he’d never do, of course), or how you’d look holding a piece of his unquestionably perfect work. No, he wouldn’t lie awake thinking about any of that at all. Thus he decided to ignore your text indefinitely- it’s not like he had his read receipts on or anything. He’d just kick back, work on his own nearly finished costume, and maybe even send a halfhearted “soz, just saw this :/” a day or two before Halloween night. No unnecessary and draining social interactions, and you wouldn’t have to be inevitably disappointed by… well, by him. His craftsmanship was S tier without a doubt, but he had a charisma stat of 4 at most. So he’d just let the message sit there. That would be easier for everyone involved.

Well, that was the plan. But as it turned out, Ortho would have none of it. When he’d caught wind that Idia hadn’t bothered to answer your message a whole day later, he’d immediately bombarded his big brother with endless arguments for your case. It was the usual string of points- that Idia would be happier if he had irl friends (as if), that his general quality of life would improve if he had some positive social interaction (no way!), and so on. At least he was sure Ortho’s logic processors were working as irritatingly well as ever, though Idia found his points far too idealistic. But logos wasn’t the way to go when talking Idia into something he had no interest in doing- it would have to be pathos all the way baby, appealing to what really made him tick. Unfortunately for him, Ortho knew that too.

“I need you to make a friend before you graduate,” he said abruptly, arms crossed like he was prepared for a one shot k.o. “Just one. I’m sorry I gave them your number without permission, but I really think this could be fun. You make the coolest stuff ever, and it’s your favorite holiday, so I thought it was a good opportunity for you to talk to someone.” He was silent for only a moment, as if deciding whether or not to deliver the final blow. “I just need to know my big brother will be okay after graduation. And I’d like to see you have fun every once and a while, you know.”

There it was, the absolute punch in the gut Idia was dreading. “You see me having fun all the time, Ortho. We hang out every day.” It was a weak argument and he knew it.

“Yeah and I love hanging out with you, but that’s different! And I know other people would love hanging out with you, too! You’re the coolest person ever, big bro.”

And how could he ever say no to that?

“What’s the costume anyway?” Idia muttered, pulling his lower lip between sharp teeth.

“I’m not sure. They told me it was someone from a manga they really like! You should ask them about it!” Ortho was absolutely beaming. Something in Idia’s chest ached.

His response to your message was short and simple. He asked what your inspiration would be, and what prop you were looking for. Price could be negotiated, etcetera.

You responded with astounding speed; it made him nauseous. At least you were courteous, though. You gave him a lot of info to say the least- more than he needed considering he was a fan of the same series. Ortho had definitely known that, but that was a complaint for some other time. He had to admit it was a good choice- and the character you had in mind would suit you well (he’d never put that in writing so long as he lived). You sent him all of your inspo pictures- purely from the manga, you explained, as the anime adaptation had changed some of the details and you had a strong preference- as well as any measurements he might need. Idia couldn’t resist pointing out that the anime had made a number of phenomenal aesthetic choices, which did start somewhat of a tangent. Before he knew it, he was caught in a back and forth with you. It was… easy. Way easier than he had expected. When you stopped replying he was even a little disheartened; that is until he realized it was nearly 4 am. It had been that long of a conversation? Something about that made him warm all over. He’d ignore it for the moment.

When you messaged him back the following morning he felt the same rush of… something wash over him. And so a tentative back and forth between you two began. Draft sketches and material concepts on his end, and what felt like endless amounts of praise from you. That’s not to say you never brought any criticism to the table. You were just as fickle as he was, it seemed- and he liked arguing with you. Whether it was about the commission or over some unrelated tangent (which the two of you frequently succumbed to), there was something uniquely fun about debating your shared interests.

Over the week or so leading up to Halloween, your communication persisted outside of his prop updates. You even sent him photos of Grim! It was hard to stomach that he’d hit it off so well with some normie, but if you were sending him cat photos and had some (several) based media takes he’d tolerate that discomfort. Part of him kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, of course. The exchange was transactional- after Ortho delivered the prop to you, there would be no need to keep socializing with him. He couldn’t imagine why you’d want to anyway. Speaking of transactions, the two of you hadn’t decided on a price point. Or rather whenever you’d ask, he pushed the question aside by saying he ‘wasn’t sure yet’. He’d given you a relative range, but no exact number. He felt pathetic, but part of him didn’t even want to charge you for it. It wasn’t like he needed the money anyway, and Ortho had been right about the whole arrangement entertaining him. He couldn’t believe he was going so soft. But it wasn’t entirely his fault! Every time he’d start to work up the nerve to give a number, you’d do something so nice it made his head hurt. Sometimes it was asking questions about his games, or sending him voice messages so you could keep the conversation going when you couldn’t text. You’d even asked to vc once or twice! He’d denied that request, but nonetheless you asked! How was he supposed to follow that up? “Oh haha yeah, it’ll be like half your last paycheck sry lmao”? He’d rather die! He knew what his work was worth (and frankly so did you), but the idea of charging you that amount was a little nauseating. How fucking lame could he get?

And the other shoe did drop eventually, just not in the way he’d expected. It came as a lull in your late night banter, followed by ‘[name] is typing…’ for quite some time. That totally didn’t make him want to puke, no way. The message that followed was as short as it was sweet.

“Hey, so ik it’s not really your scene, but I’m having a Halloween thing at Ramshackle. Idk if I’d call it a party but yk it’s something. I was wondering if you’d want to stop by? If not that’s totally cool!”

Idia stared at that message for a while. Shit. Of course there was no way he’d go, not a chance, but he couldn’t just say that could he? He’d rather be dropped headlong into Tartarus than to go to some gathering of extroverts and npcs when he could be collecting his Halloween login rewards. At the same time, giving you a resounding ‘fuck no’ sounded just as unpleasant. So he just sat there and stared for a while before doing what he did best: he gave some vague, noncommittal answer.

“uhhh idk. I don’t wanna intrude haha. plus i have a raid planned so idk if i could make it sry”.

It seemed like you got what he was trying to say; Idia was beginning to resent just how well you listened to him.

“Totally get it! Just thought I’d ask :)! Send pics of ur costume tho! I wanna see it all put together :D!”

He tossed his phone aside, opting to throw himself face down in his pillow with a resounding groan. Why did you have to be so considerate? You had to have known he’d reject that request, so why even ask? And why did it mean so much to him that you had? His moping was interrupted by Ortho knocking at the door. Idia just grunted in response, turning his head to face him.

“What’s the matter bro?” Ortho hovered in the doorway, glowing eyes keenly focused on Idia’s sprawled figure. At times like this, only illuminated by blue screens and his own artificial fire, he had an uncanny effect that was hard to shake.

Idia peeked at him through his flickering bangs, huffing a little and sending the flames askew. He subsequently realized that they were streaked with a mortifying shade of pink, one that made him want to scream into the pillow all over again. “Nothing, I’m good. What’s up?” It was obviously a lie and he wasn’t helping his case by rolling over to face the wall.

“I wanted to see if you were up for a few pvp rounds before I set up to charge for the night. But what’s going on? My scanners detect no signs of physical injury, but your vitals indicate distress. Do you need medical attention?” Idia didn’t have to turn around to know his ‘brother’ had hovered closer.

“It’s nothing. It’s stupid-,” he planted his face back into the pillow defeatedly. “It’s- [name] invited me to some stupid Halloween thing.” It was muffled, but that didn’t matter. There was no way Ortho wouldn’t hear him, so there was no need to sit up.

“They invited you to a party? That’s awesome! We could go together! I know, you could even give them the prop in person and see their costume completed!”

“I’m not going.”

“What? Why not? You’ve had so much fun talking to them and working on this commission! You should go see them!” Ortho was gearing up for another uphill battle, one Idia was once again going to resist him on.

“Because I don’t want to. You can go, I guess. I mean I’m sure you’re invited. That’s probably why they asked me, right? Because we’re a package deal? You’ll have more fun without me there to weigh you down. And anyway, I don’t wanna be around that many people. It’ll probably be total npc shit anyway.” He fell silent for a moment, the quiet whir of machine fans filling the air in his stead. Ortho didn’t try to interject.

“It’s not like- it’s not like they wanna see me anyway. Maybe my costume, I mean its S tier, but not me. And I can’t even get on a vc with them- I’d be seriously delusional if I thought I could hang out with them irl.”

“Hey, they totally want to see you. I mean, I’m sure they want to see your costume too. But I know they want to see you. If you don’t feel like going that's okay, but I don’t want you to miss out because you think their invitation wasn’t genuine.”

“Why? Like I know we get along fine over chat, and they’ve interacted with my tablet, but what if they see me irl and get all weirded out? ‘Oh, why is he blue all over? What’s with his teeth? Ewww’. I think I’ll pass.” He chewed at his sleeve, nervous over the mere prospect of facing you like that. “Even if they’ve seen me in passing like once, being up close is a whole other level.”

There was another long pause before Ortho spoke again. “They like your hair.”

“What?”

“They told me they like your hair. Like you said, they’ve seen you irl once or twice in passing. Should I play the recording for you?”

Idia felt a little conflicted about that. It felt a little invasive somehow. But a far less conflicted part of him (his massive ego) needed to hear it, and ultimately triumphed. “Yeah, fine. Go ahead.” He curbed his anxious enthusiasm by biting his sleeve even harder.

“Sure thing! Commencing playback.” There was the sudden background noise of hallway chatter, followed by your voice. “I think I saw your brother in the library yesterday. Well, I’m assuming it was him, he looked a lot like you. He’s got great hair, I’ve never seen anything like it. It must’ve taken forever to grow it out that long.”

There was a measured click as the clip came to a stop. “Recording ends. See? They don’t think you look weird. And there’s nothing else in my data logs to indicate that they would.”

“That’s… not exactly reassuring,” Idia muttered, watching as the mess of curls surrounding him flickered to life with the same rosy hues as before. Of course you wouldn’t tell Ortho that you thought he looked weird, that was his brother. But nevertheless, that was technically a compliment. A win was a win right?

“We should go, I think they’d love to see you there in person. We could even go super early to drop off the prop and leave before everyone else gets there,” Ortho chimed in, clearly trying to find some loophole in his brother’s anxiety. “And we can show off our costumes again.” There was another long pause.

“Fine. But just to drop it off.”

The remaining few days passed without incident, aside from Idia’s mounting anxieties (which he was sure would culminate in sudden death). Half dressed for the function, he sat on the edge of his bed and sent you photos of the final product. At the very least he was sure you’d like it- how could you not? He was a master craftsman after all. Your response came back at the typical lightning speed. He doubted he’d ever get used to that.

“Holy shit, it’s perfect??? Thank you so so much, I love it!! <3 did u sign it?”

“no lmao?? y?”

“Bc it’s your work??? And u should be proud of it and put ur name on it ??? Duh??? And bc I want you to ofc.”

Well that was certainly unexpected. He sat there for a minute and mulled it over- what could you possibly gain from him signing it? Did you really just want that, plain and simple? God you were fucking weird. It did feel kind of nice though. Nice enough for a smile to fight its way onto his face as he meandered back to his workstation. What was the harm in indulging that request?

“can do ig. i charge extra for autographs tho, soz. so ik ortho was gonna drop this off, but is it cool if i come? want to make sure it doesn’t need any adjustments etc yk”

Even though it took him a few (fifteen) minutes to type, it came out smoother than he’d expected. He’d consider it a win. Of course the piece didn’t need any adjusting, it was perfect and he knew it, but he had to justify his sudden appearance (mostly to himself).

“You can make it ??? Nice !!! Yeah ofc! Come over whenever :D !!! <3”

Hearts. Were you trying to kill him? And why did your texts read like the logs of a dating sim? Maybe he should lay off the otome games.

Getting fully into costume was a little more complicated than he’d anticipated. Combined with putting the finishing touches on Ortho’s matching specs and engraving an insignia onto your prop, there was no way the Shroud duo would arrive early. In fact, they’d be perfectly punctual (which Idia loathed). Halfway up the driveway to Ramshackle he started digging his heels into the dirt. Even from a distance he could see light streaming through the dingy windows, along with far too many figures crowded on the porch. Part of him wondered how many students such a dilapidated structure could support- he decided to drop that train of thought before he collapsed in your front yard. “Hey- maybe this is a bad idea. Even if they wanna see me-“

But it was too late. Cater was the first to spot the two, and immediately came down the stairs to greet them. Oh great, a boss level extrovert right off the bat? He had to get out of here!

“Hey hey! I didn’t expect to see you two here! Ooh, whatcha got there? And nice costumes! Did you make them yourself?” The redhead had a cup in one hand and his cellphone in the other, his head cocked as he observed the brothers.

Idia’s mouth just sort of stopped working, and the more questions Cater asked the more he wanted to dip out. Luckily Ortho was way better at navigating normie conversations.

“Hi Cater Diamond! [Name] invited us! And yes my brother made our costumes, aren’t they so cool? We’re kind of in a hurry though, we have the last piece of [Name]’s costume! Once we get it to them, we’ll have more time to talk.” He started to move past Cater, who was now more than ready to usher them through the throng of people in the foyer. Idia followed behind in amazement. Having Ortho around was such an op move.

“Oh nice! They should still be upstairs. Once they’re all set the three of you should come back down so I can snap your pics, ‘kay? You guys really went all out!” Cater slipped away easily before either brother could refuse his invitation. Well, Idia would just have to make sure the coast was clear when he decided to make his escape. The two made their way up the rickety staircase (seriously, how was this place still standing?) and onto the landing above. Your bedroom door was open so at the very least you were easy to locate. Before Idia would go any further he slipped on the pumpkin helmet, properly obscuring his face. That felt a little better- maybe he’d actually be able to look at you.

He lingered behind Ortho as if it would block him from your view (despite being much taller than the android model), knocking at the door frame twice. “Uh… hey. Can we come in?”

You looked up from your phone with a start, eyes widening as you took them in. “Idia? Wait, holy shit, you guys look sick.” You were fully in costume- had you been waiting for them? The way you said his name nearly made him keel over right then and there. “Like I knew they would be cool, but this is insane.” Your gaze flickered to the prop in his hands. “And that’s for me? Dude, it’s perfect. Seriously, thank you so much. I’m so glad you came.”

Idia didn’t process half of it, including you taking the prop from his grasp. You looked so good he felt lightheaded. Forget talking to you, now he was worried about remaining upright. “You- uh- yeah. You too,” he stammered weakly. You too? That didn’t make any sense! “I mean- I mean you look cool. And yeah this is for you.” Breathing in the helmet was a bit of a challenge and he couldn’t recall a time his throat had ever been drier. Ortho made no effort to intervene either- he was just watching, practically on standby mode as his brother made a fool of himself. Great. So much for his op cheat code.

He decided that looking anywhere but at you was his best option, his eyes scanning along the walls of your bedroom. It did look liveable, he’d give you that much. You even had a small shelf with a decently sized manga collection- considering how long you’d been there and the wages Monstro paid, he was kind of impressed. It was cute (you were cute). Your voice snapped him back out of his meditative scanning.

“Sorry there are so many people. I would’ve given you a heads up, but I had no idea it would be this crazy. People just started posting about it and,” you sighed. “So now like half the school is in my condemned house. Happy Halloween I guess? Deuce and Jack got a few of the other first years to preemptively agree to help with post party cleanup, so that’s nice.” You were still looking at him intently; Idia had to remind himself that you were checking out his costume and not him, of course. Unfortunately that didn’t stop the ends of his hair from flickering a dull but obvious pink. He knew it caught your attention, but you didn’t mention it. Instead you opted to change the subject entirely. By the Seven, how were you so good at this? “Anyway, I wanna hear all about your costumes. I got bits and pieces over messages but give me the rundown!”

Now that he could do.

Infodumping was an art form, and boy had Idia Shroud mastered it. From the materials he used to the classic inspo, he was more than happy to tell you all about his creations. It took him a little warming up, but he was quickly in full swing. Down to the sound effect rigging, he gave you a thorough explanation of his work. You seemed particularly delighted in how he and Ortho’s costumes were a matching pair, and of course that opened the floor for him to explain the intricacies of making new specs for his brother. In his excited haste, he’d even taken off the helmet to show you its interior. He didn’t notice for quite a while, nor did you make any mention of it. You just watched him, smiling and nodding attentively. By the time he picked up on just how greatly his range of vision had improved, it was far too late. With his peripheral unblocked he also realized that Ortho was gone. A wave of panic washed over him as he reassessed his surroundings. It was just the two of you, standing beyond the threshold of your bedroom, alone. How long had he been talking? And why were you looking at him with those big, starry eyes? He tried to tell you to stop staring, but no sound came out. Once again, Idia was convinced he was going to die.

You definitely caught onto his nervous demeanor- he wished you’d stop doing that. “Hey, so how much do I owe you?” You asked, your voice gentler than he’d realistically want it to be. Why were you being so nice to him? You had the prop already, so just kick him out! There was a whole party going on downstairs, yet here you were spending god only knows how long alone with him! Wasn’t that depressing?

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t a hard ask, and only noobs care about production costs,” he muttered, his tone not entirely unkind but thoroughly dismissive nonetheless.

“Oh- are you sure? Idia, it’s really beautifully done. Even if it wasn’t hard to do, you still took the time to do it. I owe you something.”

“I could make another one in my sleep. Just take it,” he was planning his escape, but could see no easy way out besides just turning tail and running. “Sorry for uh- well, for keeping you up here for so long. You’ve got a party to get to.”

“I’ll take it if you’re sure. Thank you, seriously. And don’t apologize, I like talking to you. I know this really isn’t your scene, so I really appreciate you coming out tonight.” The way you looked at him had him itching to put the helmet back on in record time. Your next words would foil even that half baked plan and freeze him in place. “If you wanted, maybe you could come over and hang out sometime? It’s not normally this crowded, it’s usually just Grim and I. You’re welcome here whenever, and so is Ortho.”

Every turn of phrase felt like you were whittling a hole in his brain, which made it increasingly difficult to think straight. What angle were you trying to work here? Was it just to embarrass him? He couldn’t think of a single thing you could gain from befriending him, which frankly made your kindness even more concerning. You had him one friendly gesture away from counting five things he could see, four things he could touch, and so on in the middle of the function. “I’m gonna go find Ortho,” he stated, abruptly turning on his heel. Now was not the time to go nonverbal, but that was steadily where he was headed. And he’d been doing so well! He’d talked to you irl, face to face! You hadn’t even seemed grossed out- if anything it felt like the opposite (which he would ignore). But of course his brain had to catch up and ruin everything. No, he had to ruin everything, just like always. This fucking sucked. The pumpkin helmet was back on, and he wasn’t showing his face until he was safely back at Ignihyde.

“Oh! Yeah, of course. I’ll walk down with you.” You wasted no time following after him, still holding your new prop. The trip down the main staircase was a silent one, but the raucous sounds of the party below more than made up for it. You didn’t push him to speak, which he was begrudgingly grateful for.

It was no surprise that your arrival from upstairs with Idia in tow drew a little attention. Cater even snapped a photo, saying something about how “cammable” you two looked (Idia didn’t have the strength to wonder where that photo would end up). You handled your entrance to the gathering like a pro, deflecting all the attention away from him with a small smile. He really couldn’t decide whether or not he hated how considerate you were, but that would be a viable train of thought once he was safely in his own bedroom. As he slipped away to find Ortho, he heard you discussing your costume with those gathered at the bottom of the stairs. Working up the nerve to risk a look back, he saw you proudly showing off the piece he’d made for you. The way you were so eager to credit him for it was debilitating.

Part of him wondered what would happen if he walked back over and joined the crowd. He knew he didn’t belong there, of course, but hypothetically. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining what it would be like to stand there by your side for just a little longer, to even let people photograph the two of you together. You hadn’t seemed to mind it a moment before. But maybe you were just being nice. You were always so nice. Regardless these were only hypotheticals, and he was bound to ruin your time if he stayed any longer. He’d be doing you a favor by leaving, right?

Right. With one last look at you, he resolved to find Ortho and get the hell out while he could, for your sake and his own.

Maybe next year, then.

——————————————————————————

Tag list: @v-anrouge @vtoriacore @phoneymedic @gum-gum-time @heatofmyexoheart (dm to be removed or added! <3)

Soz for not posting for a while (and this late as hell Halloween fic eek!), I obliterated my ankle about a week ago and have just been taking time to recover (that is a lie I’ve had to go to work every day on it but I digress!!!)

😭😭🙁

this is me if you even care

Shingeki no Kyojin: The Final Season - Kanketsu-hen

VINDICATION

ouch ouch ouchhhhh

My Angel (Part Two)

➬ Reiner Braun x Fem reader

Part One | Masterlist | Blog Home | Aot Masterlist

Summary : Reiner was always taught that the devils of Paradis were vicious creatures, but what is he supposed to do when he soon finds himself reluctantly falling for one? Or when he is forced to go back to Marley and leave her altogether?

Word count : around 5, 200 words

Warnings : Again, very angsty. Reiner feels guilty about what he’s done, reader is angry with him. Crying, mentions of heartbreak. Spoilers for season 4 part one.

Author’s notes : reblogs are appreciated!! I appreciate all feedback on my writing so that I can know what you guys liked and what you think I should improve on😊

Disclaimer : this is a work of fiction and should in no way, shape, or form, be taken seriously.

Side Note : this fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

❗️Important Note❗️

There will in fact be a part three! While I was writing part two, it ended up becoming so long that I just decided to split it up. That’s why this chapter leaves off on a cliffhanger (and that’s also why it took me so long to post this one). But I thank you all for your patience. If anyone else wants to be tagged for part three then let me know in the comments! :)))

“Can I please ask where exactly we’re going?” Reiner questioned, his voice lacing with a hint of annoyance as Falco gripped his arm, anxiously pulling him towards the city’s back alleys.

“I told you it’s a surprise! A friend of yours wants to say hi before the show starts!” Falco explained, glancing backward at his superior with a cheerful smile as he continued to pull him in the opposite direction.

“Is that right?” Reiner spoke sarcastically, scoffing quietly to himself as he took in the boy’s words.

What was Falco really up to?

Surely the whole “a friend wants to say hi” explanation was made up; because Reiner Braun wasn’t exactly a man you would think of as having friends.

Sure, he was surrounded by people a lot of the time, and he even had allies with whom he got along pretty well with. But even so, Reiner knew he was nothing more than a comrade to them; nothing more than a vessel to wield the armored titan.

But that was okay, because they were nothing more than comrades to him.

With being born Eldian as well as being a warrior for Marley’s military force, Reiner Braun didn’t exactly have the time, luxury, or frankly, the mental strength to seek out any social interactions beyond strictly work-related ones.

Well, at least, not anymore.

He made that mistake once, and in doing so, it cost him the demolition of a poor woman’s heart; as well as his own.

In fear that opening up to another person again might cause that beating vessel in his chest to truly see itself past repair, Reiner Braun had decided to close himself off from others, refusing to repeat those tragic events of his past.

So, with that in mind, who exactly was this “person” that Falco was happily dragging him by the arm to see?

It couldn’t have been anyone he was genuinely close with; there wasn’t anyone like that for him, not anymore at least. Any authentic connections he once had with people were now severed, collapsed by the calamity he caused back on that forsaken island.

So who on earth was he being forced to see?

“It’s just in here!” Falco said excitedly, his finger pointing toward a wooden door as they rounded the corner; one that lead to a basement stationed under an older apartment complex.

From the outside, the place looked dim and run down, its location secluded to a quiet and unfrequented street.

The very sight had Reiner scratching his head in confusion. Of all places, why here? Why pick such an isolated area to meet with him? Not only that, but why would this person send a naive little boy to escort him to this place instead of just contacting Reiner directly?

Was this a trap he was walking into?

Should he leave?

Like a flame set to brush, panic began spreading through Reiner’s veins. His free hand was gripped into a strained fist and his eyes darted in all directions, watching out for any surprise attacks.

If this really was a trap, if someone was anticipating charging at him, then he’d be ready for it.

Suddenly, the wooden door opened. Loud groans from the beat-down hinges filled the air, followed by the sound of footsteps; footsteps that belonged to a dark, hooded figure.

Reiner’s eyes widened at the scene before him, an eerie feeling twisting in his stomach as he watched the mysterious person walk out the door; heading in his direction.

Whoever it was, he thought about fighting them off, even going as far as raising both his hands in the air to assume a defensive stance.

However, that’s when he caught a glimpse of Falco next to him. The little boy had started to head towards the figure, almost as if he was acquainted with the human; if it even was human.

“Falco wait!” Reiner quickly followed in the boy’s footsteps, gripping his arm before he could walk any closer to the person. “We should leave.” He suggested, anxiously tugging on the boy’s limb in hopes to urge him back in the opposite direction.

“It’s okay Mr. Braun,” Falco smiled, quick to reassure his superior. “This is where he said to meet him.”

Who’s he? Was it that person lurking around with the cloak draped across their face? Or was there someone inside as well?

Reiner didn’t have any answers, nor did he have a definite resolve on how to react in this situation. Should he trust Falco’s judgment and allow this “meetup” to happen? Or should he grab the boy and run while he still had the chance?

The latter seemed like the best option, especially considering the fact that Falco was just a child, and therefore could’ve easily been manipulated into something dangerous.

He wanted to trust Falco’s words, but it was too risky. If something happened, the boy’s blood would be on Reiner’s hands; and he couldn’t bear the weight of any more sorrow, or any more guilt.

“We’re leaving, Falco!” Reiner insisted, readjusting his grip on the boy’s arm to forcefully pull him away from the situation.

Although, just as he’d turned around to take those first few steps, he heard something that made his body freeze, and his heart clench.

“If you’re done arguing you can go on ahead. He’s waiting for you inside.”

That voice. Reiner knew that voice.

It was the same one he used to hear nagging at him to wake up in the early mornings. The same voice that used to comfort him whenever he was feeling disheartened.

It was… the same voice he never thought he’d have the pleasure of hearing ever again…

All he received was one simple sentence, but that was all the verification he needed. There was no doubt in his mind, the voice he heard: belonged to you.

“Y/n?!” His body immediately turned around to face the hooded figure. His eyes then squinted, trying to see more than just the gentle silhouette of a pair of lips and a jawline that was exposed by the moonlight’s glow.

The figure froze at his words, saying nothing in response; almost as if they didn’t anticipate being recognized.

“Y/n, is that you?” Reiner asked again, hoping to earn a response this time.

However, there was none; at least, not a verbal one.

All he gained was a sudden flinch that occurred once he spoke that name a second time, followed by the subtle shaking of fingertips that poked out from the sleeves of the cloak.

You must’ve been scared, embarrassed; perhaps even both.

And who would blame you for it? The last time you saw him he had slaughtered more than half of your comrades. Who knows what he’s capable of now after four years have passed?

“Falco?” Reiner finally broke the silence, glancing down at the boy he was still holding on to. “Why don’t you go on inside, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

However, before the boy could open his mouth to speak, he was quickly interrupted. “There’s no reason for him to leave! I’m not staying to chat.” A stern voice echoed past the cloak covering your face, but that didn’t phase Reiner.

He knew it was you from the moment that first syllable left your lips, even more so now that you’d spoken a second time.

Your tone was serious, added with a hint of aggression in order to scare him off, but he wouldn’t be turned away by that. Not when this was the chance he’d been silently praying for ever since he left that island four years ago. The chance to finally see you once again, even for just a moment.

Now that this chance was finally here, standing in front of him, there was no way he’d let it slip away; regardless of the tone you used with him.

“Just a few minutes?!” He insisted, taking a few steps forward in case you were preparing to run away. “Please?” He asked in a much quieter tone, his eyes practically begging for you to give in, to grant him even the smallest portion of your time.

Even after all these years he still knew how to persuade you, didn’t he? He must’ve, otherwise, your mouth would’ve never opened to let out a frustrated “Five minutes and that’s it!”

Reiner’s shoulders quickly relaxed at your words. His head then turned towards Falco subsequently, giving him a quick nod of his head: which apparently was his signal to “get going.”

Falco’s gaze switched between Reiner and the person he was apparently dying to speak to. The boy was unsure of what was going on, or who that unidentified person even was, but nevertheless, Falco knew better than to argue with his superior; so he’d comply with the orders given to him.

“S-sure…I’ll just, be inside then…” Falco spoke hesitantly, slowly backing away to walk toward the wooden door. He stopped momentarily after placing his fingers on the handle, almost as if he was waiting for Reiner to change his mind. But after receiving no signs of a change of heart, Falco reluctantly opened the door and stepped inside; closing it behind him.

The moment that wooden door shut, an unpleasant silence filled the air. Instead of partaking in the “conversation” you were supposed to have, the two of you just stood in silence.

You didn’t dare speak up. Reiner was the one who made you stay after all, if anyone should be the first to start this conversation it was him.

Your eyes were fixated on him with a calloused glare, your lips refusing to part even the slightest bit.

Reiner on the other hand, wore an expression more timid and anxious than yours.

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, fingers fidgeting with each other as he contemplated the best way to start this conversation.

“I uh…” He tried to speak, but the words fumbled in his mouth, leaving just as quickly as they came.

It’s ironic, just a moment ago he was begging for you to stay so that he could have the chance to talk to you, but now that his chance had finally arrived, he couldn’t think of anything to say.

As he stood there, overanalyzing a potential response, he noticed the way you scoffed, clearly annoyed at his delay in response.

You were growing impatient with him, and if he didn’t take the opportunity to speak with you now, you’d most likely never allow him another chance to waste your time again.

So, after what had seemed like hours of silence, when in reality was more like 1 minute, Reiner finally spoke up.

“Can you take off the hood?”

Your eyes quickly narrowed in confusion at his odd request. Out of everything he could’ve asked, everything he could’ve apologized for, this is the first thing he says?

“Why?” You questioned, still unsure of his intentions on the matter.

“I just…” He began, but his words quickly started to fade out, almost as if he felt unworthy to be asking in the first place.

Nevertheless, you were persistent.

“You just what?!” You snapped, frustrated at his apparent dedication to withhold information from you; a recurring dedication at that.

“I just…” he inhaled shakily before speaking, “I want to see your face.”

You paused at his words, taking a moment to process what he’d just said. After expecting something pitiful, or perhaps even bitter coming from him, it was quite a shock to receive this: a fairly tender request.

He wanted to see your face? Why? What difference would that make?

It’d be the same one he saw four years ago, nothing’s changed; at least, not to you.

Despite asking for something which would require him to look upwards, Reiner kept his eyes glued to the ground, as if he felt undeserving to see you again. It wasn’t until he heard the heavy sigh that jerked past your lips, along with the quiet “fine” you gave in response to his request that made him finally look up.

As his gaze lifted, watching you pull that gloomy hood off your head, Reiner was met with a flashback of memories.

It all reappeared in an instant: the sound of your adorable laugh, the way your hair looked when the sun glistened across it, even the small little habits he’d discovered about you as time went by; they were all coming back, recollecting in his mind clearer than if it all happened a day ago.

Reminding him, painfully, of a time when things were simpler, when he was happier, and, most regretfully, a time when he had you.

Pulling off that hood allowed him to finally lay eyes upon a face he hadn’t seen in ages. A face he used to watch soundly sleeping next to him at night, placing gentle kisses all over when no one was around.

It was the same face he used to stare at in fascination; taken back by the beautiful way your lips would curve upwards into a smile, or even the way your eyes radiated the most alluring shade of color when the sun shone across your skin.

That face was one he had desperately longed to observe once more for the entirety of four long years, and coincidentally, it was the same face that now stared him down with an irritated glare.

Absent was the sparkle your eyes once held for the man standing before you, and gone was the loving countenance you were never hesitant to grant him.

Now your face lay still, your features refusing to move even the smallest bit in case it were to form some sort of pleasant expression towards him accidentally.

Who was this woman?

If not for the fact that he had easily identified her face, Reiner wouldn’t have recognized her.

Where was the kind and loving woman he fell in love with? Was she not the one standing before him now?

No, this woman was different. This one seemed to hold an inkling of abhorrence towards him, easily provoked by just his presence alone.

Was this… the product of his own making?

Was this… what he’d turned you into?

As if he wasn’t tormented enough by his decision, now he was witnessing the consequences of his actions unfold before his very eyes.

“How.. how are you here?” Reiner stuttered, still in shock over the fact that you were actually standing there; that for whatever reason, his prayers to see you again had finally been answered.

“I’m only here in service of a friend; nothing else.”

Your response was so vague, so cold; nothing like the endearing way you used to speak to him.

“Which friend?”

“It doesn’t matter,” You replied forbiddingly. Your tone sounded so distant, so unfriendly towards him.

To think, the last time he heard your voice, it had told him “Goodnight, I love you.” But now that voice was harsh as it spoke, probably regretful of saying those very words after waking up to find out he’d abandoned you that next morning.

The difference in your tone was beginning to eat away at Reiner, straining that beating vessel in his chest more and more with each look of your indignant expression. As if you’d just picked up a shovel and started digging, deepening his guilt further than it already was; if that was even possible.

“Your minutes are up by the way, and I have to leave.” You suddenly spoke, hoping your statement was bleak enough to end the conversation, meaning you could finally leave; finally be free of him.

“Wait!” Just before you could escape, Reiner quickly reached forward and grabbed your wrist, clinging to it as if his life was hinging on it. “Wait please, don’t leave…”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

He deserved that. Honestly, he deserved more than that.

Call him whatever names you could think of, and he would let you, he’d allow every single one of them, no matter how excruciating, because he knew they were true; because deep down he knew he deserved them.

Nevertheless, even in doing so, whichever words you mustered up the courage to throw at him would still never amount to the pain he had caused you, or the amount of regret he held in his heart for that action itself.

“I’m not interested in what you have to say, Reiner.” Your words were like knives to his heart, causing the already aching organ to shudder yet again. “Whatever it is you should’ve said it four years ago.”

Was that true?

If he really did explain it to you before he left, would things be different now? Would you have understood his situation? Understood why he had to do it?

Why he had to leave?

“Please,” he implored, desperately maintaining that grip on your wrist. “Please, just let me explain it to you.”

It was pathetic, how he was begging like this, pleading for you to stay and hear him out as if he wasn’t the one that left you in the first place.

“Nothing you say will change what happened.”

He knew that was true, but in spite of that, he still refused to let you go again without telling you, without apologizing at the very least.

“I know,” he admitted, a glossy haze shimmering in his eyes as he looked at you. “But please, I want you to know the truth.”

A part of you wanted to leave, to deny him any further chances to cause you more pain with an explanation. However, another part of you wanted an apology. You wanted to hear his side of the story; to hear whatever excuse he had for abandoning you. No matter how twisted, or pitiful, his reasoning was, you couldn’t deny you had questions you wanted him to answer.

“Fine then. Tell me.” You quickly adjusted your posture, staring at him with your eyebrows raised; a gesture he remembered you only used when you were serious about something.

“Why did you betray us?”

Here it was, the moment he had been waiting for since this conflict arose: his chance to finally be understood, to be seen as more than just the traitor he was made out to be.

“I was given orders,” he started, retracting his hand from your wrist now that you’d clearly abandoned the option to run. “I had no choice but to follow them.”

“And what were your orders?” Your voice sounded heavy, almost as if it was hurting to bring all this back up again; like a wound that was still fresh, still desperately trying to heal itself.

Reiner’s mouth remained shut, his head lowering as he closed his eyes, not wanting to answer your question. He knew he’d be made to look like the villain no matter what he said, no matter which way he worded it.

Did that mean he really was the villain?

In your eyes, maybe.

Perhaps you’d never accept his side of the story, never be able to see past the wretched sins he’d carried out. But regardless, even if he never got the forgiveness he so desperately wanted from you, he couldn’t hide from the truth any longer. It was time to embrace it, all of it.

“They told us to sneak in and make allies first, that way we had the people’s trust and no one would suspect us.” He sighed, his eyes refusing to look up at you in fear of the face you’d make upon hearing his confession. “Once the time came, we were ordered to steal the founding titan by whatever means necessary. And if anyone tried to stop us, we had permission to silence them, using whatever tactics we deemed fit.”

Reiner’s heart felt tight as he let those words out, his shame growing stronger now that he was remembering it all, remembering what he’d done.

How did things end up like this?

He was just trying to do what he was trained to do: save the world from ruin; that’s all. But here he was now, that mission an embarrassing failure as he reminisced on his actions; the same actions that caused such sorrow for so many people, including himself.

And as if things weren’t bad enough, as if Reiner wasn’t feeling guilty already, he heard a sudden change in your breathing that could only mean one thing: you were beginning to cry.

“No, wait!” His head quickly lifted to look at you, instantly regretting it as your distressed face came into view. “Please, don’t cry.” He begged, using his thumb to wipe away the liquid collecting on your skin; which you surprisingly allowed him to do without putting up a fight.

“Don’t cry, okay? Not for me.” He demanded, despite his own eyes welling up with tears as well.

He just couldn’t bear it, knowing he was hurting you yet again.

It was almost as if nothing had changed, even after all those years. As if he was reliving those horrors of his past once more, reliving that anguish he saw imprinted across your visage when you found out he was the armored titan; the same armored titan that had killed so many of your friends.

You didn’t understand it, even now.

Was the man who used to dote on you really the same person as the one who carried out such violence and hatred against your people?

How could that be true? How could he have done such a thing, committed such betrayal against the woman he loved?

What changed? Was it something you did?

Or perhaps a more gut-wrenching explanation: he never loved you to begin with. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for him to give you up, maybe, this was his plan all along.

“What else?” You asked, your voice trembling in the process.

Reiner’s face quickly scrunched in confusion, unsure of what you were getting at. “What do you mean?”

“Were those your only orders?” Tears quickly began trickling down your face faster than Reiner could stop, your gaze looking more despondent than ever. “Was there really not anything else?” Your lips parted to let out a stinging sob, one that seemed like it’d been held in for too long.

It was obvious you were waiting for some sort of answer from him, and every second he delayed with a response was only tormenting you further.

But, even so, it didn’t change the fact that Reiner didn’t understand what you were asking of him; or what you wanted to hear so badly.

Your eyes stared at him in sorrow, more tears absorbing into your skin before you asked your question one last time; phrasing it differently now.

“Was falling in love with me a part of your mission too? Was I just another means to accomplish your end goal?”

Reiner’s heart convulsed at your words, his mouth agape to let out a pained gasp.

Did he just hear that right?

A tool?! Is that really what you thought? Is that really all you assumed you were worth to him?

As if you could ever be such a thing.

Granted, he understood how you may have assumed that, given the matter of his betrayal and all. But, despite that, he never expected such an absurd accusation.

There was a wide range of names you could’ve called him: a traitor, a liar, a monster; anything, and he would’ve accepted it; He would’ve owned up to it.

But this: questioning whether or not his affection towards you was genuine; that was one accusation he’d never admit to.

You were never a tool, you weren’t even a part of his plan to begin with. Falling in love with a woman of Paradis wasn’t exactly one of the orders he received when he was assigned to that mission. In fact, getting involved with you went against the sole purpose of him being there; the sole purpose of his assignment.

He was sent there to exterminate the Eldian race, to wipe out every last one of those despicable beings so that the world could finally be safe.

Falling in love wasn’t an order laid out in his job description at all, much less with a woman of Paradis. And yet, he did.

Reiner was a strategic man, he wasn’t one to easily abandon orders, no matter how difficult they may be. That in itself should’ve been enough to prove his affection toward you; because he never would’ve done such a thing had he not felt it was worth it, had he not felt you were worth it.

Nevertheless, here you were, teeth gritted in frustration as you impatiently awaited his answer.

Your face spoke only of torment, and it pained Reiner to have to witness it. The way your eyes were slanting together in an unsuccessful attempt to subdue your tears, your fingers curling into fists to help better contain your irritation, all of it was a clear sign of the repercussions his decision to abandon the woman he loved had caused.

It was just like the last time, you were falling to pieces over him once more, and Reiner couldn’t stand the sight of it.

Your gentle cries may not have been as loud and mournful as they were four years ago, but it didn’t matter; the fact that you were even crying in the first place was enough to make that twisting sensation return to his stomach; possibly becoming permanent at this rate.

Reiner stretched his arm out to grasp your hand, hoping to console you, however, you quickly backed away, refusing to let him touch you.

“I don’t want your pity!” you spat, your fragile body trembling from both the anger and suffering fueling inside. “I just want the truth! Did you ever love me?”

Was that even a question?

Yes, he was fully aware that it would’ve been hard to believe the authenticity of someone who’d abandoned you; someone who so easily decided to turn against you, as if doing so didn’t phase them in the slightest.

But regardless, ignoring the heinous crimes he’d committed, did you still believe he never loved you?

Were his actions before this messy conflict never enough to convince you of his sentiments?

What about all the times he’d hold you in his arms, whispering to you about how happy you made him feel? Did you really not believe any of that? Was he pouring out his heart’s inner-most secrets for nothing?

Or what about the times he’d surprise you with food, despite rations being low? He almost got caught stealing food for you so many times; which was unwise of him considering the fact that it could’ve possibly had him kicked out of the survey corps: meaning his whole plan to infiltrate the military would’ve gone up in flames.

Or, perhaps how he’d always try to keep an eye on you during missions, making sure you never encountered something too dangerous for you to handle. You always complained that he was being too paranoid, but it was only because, unlike you, he was aware of the kind of power titans held; the kind of pain they could’ve, he could’ve, inflicted upon a tiny human being.

All he ever wanted was to protect you, to do what was best for you. Did you really never realize that?

Even after he made Annie and Bertholdt promise not to lay a hand on you during their countless fights with the survey corps, even after all the times he put your saftey before his own mission, was it still never enough?

Even when he left you behind, did you really never consider the fact that he could’ve been doing it because he thought it’s what’s best for you?

You would’ve never been safe with someone like him, so he spared you from that danger by leaving.

Even though he caused you much pain by doing so, did you still never put that together?

“I understand if you don’t believe me when I say this,” Reiner began, “But I never stopped loving you.”

Even before any words left your lips, the doubtful look stringing along your face was enough to tell Reiner that you didn’t believe him; or were highly skeptical at the very least.

“If that’s true, then why wasn’t that enough for you to stay?”

He’d asked himself the same question so many times before. Why didn’t he just give up on his mission and stay with you? It’s not like he wouldn’t have preferred that option in comparison to the one he chose.

Why didn’t he just let the Marleyans presume him dead, forgetting his life in Marley and starting a new one with you on Paradis?

He wanted to, he considered it even. But there was one factor he was forgetting that made all the difference; one tiny reminder that convinced him to abandon that option in the end: you deserved better.

If he stayed behind like you would’ve wanted him to, like he would’ve wanted to, then he would’ve been living a lie; deception would’ve been rooted at the heart of your relationship.

He would’ve never been able to fully open up to you because doing so would mean he told you the truth about his past, about where he’s from and why he came here in the first place. He’d have to fabricate every detail about his life up until this point; tricking you into believing he was born inside the walls just like you. He’d need to have an excuse for everything: why his parents weren’t around, where he was born, what his home life was like, everything.

Nothing about his life would be real anymore, from the moment he’d wake up, to the second he drifted off to sleep at night, he’d be living a lie.

Every time he’d look at your innocent expression he’d be reminded of the secrets he was keeping from you, the lies he was tricking you with; and he couldn’t live like that. He refused to live like that.

“Staying would’ve only put you in danger, so I left, taking the danger with me.”

“I see.” Your voice was strained, as if you were having trouble processing everything. The shock from seeing him again so unexpectedly still hadn’t exactly worn off yet, and with the addition of all this new information piled on top, you didn’t necessarily know what to say; or how to react.

So, instead, you remained silent, hoping some ideas might materialize inside your head as you waited.

However, you weren’t kept waiting for long because Reiner quickly took an initiative to speak once again, asking something that left you stunned,

“Is it okay if I kiss you?”

Your head quickly flung upwards to look at him, contemplating whether or not you heard him right.

“What??” You asked, aghastly, desperately hoping you misheard his question.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” He repeated, unfortunately proving that your ears were working just fine, and that you did in fact hear him correctly the first time.

He only meant it as a farewell, nothing more.

He knew this might very well be the last time he ever saw you again, so, with that in mind, he wanted to leave you with something pleasant to remember him by.

He had every intention of letting you go, he’d walk away and you’d never have to see him again afterward.

Just one last memory with you, that’s all he wanted. One last moment to reminisce on the merriment of his past before he let you go for good.

That’s what he wanted at least, but, when you finally uttered a response, he realized it might’ve been too much to ask for.

“I’m with someone else now, Reiner.”

Part One | Masterlist | Blog Home | Aot Masterlist

(YES THERE WILL BE A PART THREE. So comment below if you want to be tagged).

Tags : @thebadbatch @mvteria @nervouslad @ah-finally @usagikookiejams

This fic, and everything else I’ve written on my blog, is mine and only mine. I work very hard on everything I write so do not, under any circumstances, modify, copy, or steal my work.

Keep in mind that commenting to tell me what you liked, what you don’t, how I can improve, and any suggestions you have helps me A LOT more than simply liking my posts. If you’ve had the time to read my story, how much longer does it take to leave me some feedback on it? 😊

Some people seem surprised that Chuuya managed to fool Fyodor about being a vampire for less than 30 minutes, but you gotta remember that when he and Dazai first met, Chuuya succesfully hid that he was Arahabaki for two or three days, all while Dazai was specifically investigating Arahabaki.

Chuuya has always been an extremely good liar, and he is kryptonite to people like Fyodor or Dazai (or at least Fifteen's Dazai, he learned from that experience) because he looks brash and impulsive and ""simple"", but actually Chuuya has been lying about who he is for most of his life, and nobody knows how to be a mindless monster better than him.

BAY CITY ROMANCE 𖥻 005 𖥻 KITTY KITTY!

bcr masterlist ; prev ; next

synopsis. fyodor's sudden invitation, a cat, and a couple led you to uncertain circumstances.

warnings. HORRIBLE description of the surroundings.. so sorry... i wrote this while watching one piece, you and fyodor share a nice meal!! the cats love fyodor

notes. sorry!! i was really busy these past few weeks bc of school ahh I'm here now;.. maybe after ill be busy again HAHAHA my midterms r soso nhear. but here's a fyodor centric chapter to make up for my absence AND the final ep of bsd CUZZZ IT WAS SO SICK

Getting up from your bed, you allowed yourself to stretch before shortly heading over to your closet. Your dorm was relatively simple as the university provided minimal space to encompass your belongings. From the door, your bed was squeezed into the leftmost corner of the room. a large circular black carpet was sprawled underneath your furniture, below some potted plants and your work setup, which was to the rightmost corner of the room. Beside your bed, a simple coffee table that houses a figurine you bought a while back with your friends, and the traditional alarm clock that you perceive as a treasure amongst the sea of belongings inside your dorm. The space provided was wide enough to encompass a projector and a few shelves that house your books. Averting your eyes from the protruding stack of clothes nestled beside the closet, you continue your avid search in the clutter you call your closet to prepare for the events that ought to happen later. Fyodor doesn’t mind the style you choose-- at all, even complimenting your style on several occasions, so you do not have to think twice about choosing what to wear. Settling for a simple outfit, you grabbed your previous clothing to add to the heap of fabric on the side of the room. 

It took a bit to prepare for the outing, gathering your needed items in a sling bag you thought fit best for the occasion. Still, you admired your look for a bit before swinging your bag over your shoulder and grabbing your phone to type a reply back to Fyodor hastily. Panic intruded your body as his texts registered in your mind, and bolted to the door to leave as fast as possible. However, what you didn’t consider, was Fyodor’s presence behind the door; jumping as soon as you opened it, putting your hand over your heart and clenching it while heaving slightly. “Don’t ever do that ever again, Fyodor!” You punched him lightly, relieved that it was just him. Turning back, you muttered to yourself, stopping as you heard him chuckle faintly. “What? What do you want?” You spat, although not in an offensive manner, and he smiled at you. “Nothing, you look great.” He breathed out, albeit sweetly, before adding, “You also took your sweet time, didn’t you?” 

Flustered at his words, you cleared your throat, mumbling a compliment to him that he caught. He was straightforward in his approach, clothes representing the man very well; clad in an oversized black dress shirt with a few buttons loose, partially tucked in black dress pants, sleek leather shoes that you thought were fitting for a man like him, and finally, a brown trench coat that perfected the entire outfit. You must have been staring for too long, as he smiled at you knowingly, “Are you done staring, [Name]?” He adjusted the end of his sleeves, flicking his wrists every so often. 

He caught you. That was enough to make you avert your eyes immediately, earning a soft laugh from him. His chuckle was enough to land a familiar feeling in your stomach, embarrassment, maybe, you weren’t sure. The travel to the cafe was not long, but your insatiable curiosity about nature was enough to delay your arrival for a few minutes. Of course, Fyodor held his patience, smiling softly at everything you pointed at for him to see. First were the cicadas, then the small cat wobbling around, and finally, the pretty flowers that were exceptional to the eye. His gaze on you was inconspicuous, glancing at you every so often. You weren’t oblivious to the stares he was giving you, truth be told, you returned the looks he gave you. “Hey, we’re here.” You said in realization, Fyodor releasing his hands from his pockets to open the door for you. “After you,” he whispered, following suit after you entered. The slight tinkle of the bell alerted the staff; Oh, isn’t it Ranpo for today? You thought. Almost as if he heard you, he peeked from the cash register, smile widening in realization after seeing the both of you. “Fyodor! [Name]! It’s you!” He rushed over, waving in excitement. The soft chatter of the customers halted after he shouted, gazing over at him in mild annoyance, but it didn’t matter to him. The cafe wasn’t packed as it was normally, leaving a few vacant seats for you and Fyodor to take. After peering behind the door, your eyes landed briefly on the cats wandering aimlessly to customers. A select few, namely the most eccentric ones, in your opinion, lounged around their beds, scratching and nipping at their toys. Fyodor called out to you, which made you flicker your eyes to him in recognition. “I paid for your admission, so don’t worry about paying me back.” Said Fyodor, reassuring you. Ranpo was heard snickering from behind him, “Stop sounding like a gentleman, dumbass Fyo,” He joked, “I lowered the admission prices for you both. The total isn’t even worth the price of one undiscounted admission.” He revealed, making Fyodor deadpan. Fyodor turned to you, apologetic eyes meeting yours, as you walked over to him to pat his shoulder. Fyodor was uncharacteristically sweet to your group, paying for your meals every so often. The origins of his copious amounts of money were left lingering in your head, but you don’t bring the question up to him. “You didn’t tell me,” He reasoned, his voice enlaced with a hint of embarrassment, fingers glazing his credit card before handing it over to Ranpo, who accepted it gleefully. “Okay, since you’re so adamant about paying on their behalf!” He swiped the card, tapping on the monitor before stating, “You’re not getting that discount anymore!” Cheekily, he winked at both of you, making you wave your hands in protest at him, while Fyodor hummed in agreement. “Sure.” He responded curtly, which made you freeze, turning to him slowly. “Hey, you’re funny.” 

“Oh, really? You’re so kind! You’re paying for the entire menu too, Fyo!” 

You weren’t sure how you got into your position now. You poked your fork desultorily at your food, eyes flickering from Fyodor to the cats meowing at your feet. A smile was present on Fyodor’s face, sighing in contentment at the taste of the tea he ordered. A black cat was perched on his lap, tail moving as he leaned into Fyodor’s touch. “So, why did you bring me here?” You let the question slip before you could notice, genuinely curious about his motives. He gazed at you upon hearing that question, pausing his actions to face you. “Well, I just wanted to hang out with someone here,” he pursed his lips, locking his eyes with yours, and you found it hard to tear your gaze away from him. “I wanted to ask you and Sigma originally, but since she couldn’t go, I opted to ask you instead.” Admittedly, you looked away, feeling abashed, and focused on the cat rubbing itself on your leg. He was cute, in a way, a white cat with a scar on its left eye and gentle paws marked in black. Picking him up, you cooed, the cat meowing in return. “His name is Kolya, Fyo!” You shoved the cat in his face, making him scrunch his face in surprise as he took the cat from you. At this, the cat in his lap jumped off, which prompted Fyodor to sigh lightly, taking the cat for himself. Oh, Kolya. He thought, eyes blinking at the cat, to which the latter did the same, squinting his eyes in recognition. He looks exactly like Nikolai. He recalled his friend motioning towards a cat that looked exactly like him, but he paid no mind to his friend, but now that he studied his features, it looked exactly like him-- save for the humanistic characteristics and his signature white hair. Looking at it now, he held the cat closer to his face, before feeling the cat’s paws atop his nose. “Oh, he’s cute!” You leaned to the side to get a closer look at Fyodor and the cat; however, the former seemed to be frozen in place. Fyodor sighs before letting out an amused chuckle, gently placing the cat down beside him. “Yeah, it really is cute.”

A few hours passed-- although it felt like mere minutes to you and Fyodor, and both of you decided it was best to leave. Arranging the plates on your table, you carefully stood up; the cats walked past you to give you way. Muttering an apology to them, you took in the soft scenery the cafe provided, breathing out and walking towards the door. Fyodor greeted you and opened the door, thanking him softly as you walked out. He left you to wander outside as he settled the bill with Ranpo, which resulted in further delay; not that you minded, though, it allowed you to leave the cafe to observe the evening sky outside. 

The sky painted itself in gradient hues of orange and blue, fading into unique colors that marveled in the distance. It was peaceful, with the sound of cicadas chirping mixing with the sound of the wind, you found tranquility in this atmosphere. You breathed out, gaping at the clouds that blended with the sky’s colors. This wasn’t new to you, and once you heard the bell ring, you looked over the horizon to meet Fyodor’s eyes, and in response, blinked at the sudden eye contact. “Hi,” He said, and you waved at him enthusiastically. “Hi, Fyo!” You replied, making him nod; “I’m going to talk with Ranpo for a minute, if that’s okay.” He scanned your eyes in hopes of finding approval and smiled softly once he did. “Of course, Fyo! I can wait.” Smiling sincerely, you set your attention to the couple leaving the cafe, but once they opened the door, a certain white cat came rushing out. It seemed that the clamor alerted Ranpo from behind the cash register, and he shot up, before slamming his hand on the table to steady himself to properly observe the situation. “Kolya?!” He yelled, and the cat stared at him briefly before speeding out of the main door. You forgot to close it, so you stared at Ranpo in an apologetic manner, but he couldn’t quite notice it as he bolted for the entrance. 

“[Name], help me catch him!” He pointed at the cat, and Fyodor simply stared at the commotion. You sighed in exasperation, “I get to keep this cat, alright?!” And so, you ran for the cat with newfound determination-- it would be your new pet if you caught it, after all! The thought made you giggle silently, and you could slightly hear Ranpo fuming as he spat warnings towards the couple that allowed Kolya to get away. Yelling out countless apologies to the passersby that you ran past, your eyes locked on the cat that was slipping from your sight. After a bit of running, you found (supposedly) your cat in the hands of another. You halted your movements, your feet skidding to a stop in front of a foreign man. He, however, didn’t pay any attention to you, but to your cat. Nevertheless, once you caught your breath, he acknowledged your presence. “Oh, you were looking for him?” His voice had a playful lilt to it, which matched his appearance. His eyes were what captivated you most, heterochromia eyes with the shade of bluish grey and emerald boring right back at your own; his abnormally long braided white hair that coincidentally matched the fur of the cat he held. Your eyes trailed down toward his outfit, which consisted of a pair of oversized jeans and an equally oversized bomber jacket, zipped until his chest which revealed a bit of the shirt he was wearing. Kolya’s meow broke your train of thought, and the stranger giggled at this. 

You felt as if you had met this man before, but from where, you were clueless. “Did Kolya escape from the cafe again?” Cuddling up to the cat, he addressed his statement in a manner that made you think it was directed at Kolya instead of you. Crossing your arms, you let out an unamused sigh, which made the man’s attention drift towards you in response. “Ah, hi!” He called out to you, “Sorry, sorry! This cat’s a bit of a troublemaker,” He admitted, flustered, and looked at you apologetically. “Have I seen you before?” You questioned, and he blinked, before laughing. “Maybe! I mean,” He pets the cat in his hands, “Well, before anything, what’s your name?” Confused at the man’s sudden switch in tone, you answered him hesitantly, “It’s… [Name]...?” And at that, his eyes widened in realization, mumbling utterances to himself that you couldn’t quite hear. Okay, this guy was weird, sure, but he saved you the trouble of running after Kolya any farther than you originally had to. “Alright! Hi! I’m Nikolai, I hope that rings a bell, [Name]!” No honorifics, you noted-- but nodded at him regardless. You reflected back on his statement, however, despite racking your brain for anything that would relate to him, there was nothing that came to mind, so you settled for a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Nikolai.” Your eyes darted to him and to the cat, and you realized how similar they looked. “See anything?” He brought the cat up to his face, and it meowed in return. “Holy shit! It looks exactly like you!” He chuckled loudly at your words, proud that you finally got the idea. “You know, when I first came to the cafe, I fell in love with this little guy!” He exclaimed, although the cat’s ceaseless meowing drowned out his statement. “I was with Fyo--” He shut his mouth, interrupting himself, “I was with a friend when I first saw him.” Embarrassed, he looked over to you, smiling at your delighted look. You tilted your head, feeling panic invade your body. You didn’t know why, but the answer came to you incredibly quickly. 

Oh shit, Fyodor! “It was great meeting you, Nikolai, but I really have to go.” You motioned to the cat, and he took the hint to give it to you. Disappointment washed over his features, and despite being in a hurry, you recognized the look on his face. You waved to him hurriedly before setting off, the cat in your hands wiggling at your hold. Gathering the contacts of Nikolai was out of the question, as you had to make it back to Fyodor quickly, glancing at the horizon, you figured that the sun setting was an indicator of how late it was. Nikolai was not too bad-- although a bit eccentric in his approach, you just thought it was in his nature to act as he did. He was conventionally attractive, you can admit, his graceful features nestled in your head as he talked to you. His gaze towards you was ever so soft, a gleam of appreciation present in his eyes as he talked to you; and as his eyes lingered in your head, all the while, you figured that meeting new people had never been so bad-- or maybe he was just simply an exception. You chuckled on the way back, at the interaction you had with the unique individual determining the course of events that presented itself in front of you. The narrative was writing itself, and while you cannot make out with certainty any possible occurrences from now on, you had an inkling that you were to embrace change.

Nikolai, you believe you would remember that name for a long time. 

trivia:

niko thought you were sooo interesting!! he just doesn't know why.

he went to the cafe straight after meeting you, but was surprised when he couldn't see kolya in sight

he knew you were fyodor's friend since fyodor kept talking about you and your friend group (in a good light, obviously!)

fyodor understood you, don't worry, he isn't mad. he can never be mad at you

while fyodor may say these things so carelessly, he does it with no romantic intentions. you are most aware of this fact, and he is thankful for that.

you were so unsure if fyodor really paid for the entire menu. but with ranpo's devilish smile, you knew it was a joke.

yes, you just realized that niko was the man in your comments the previous chapter

so seeing him there again made you smile a bit, he was eccentric, but he was a good person!

you knew he'd make a good friend!

dazai asked fyodor about what happened, and when he told him about you and niko meeting, he rushed to the latter to demand answers.

tg: @iruc @celestair

2023 © kachuuyaa. do not steal or claim my work as your own.

BAY CITY ROMANCE 𖥻 004 𖥻 WHEN I

bcr masterlist ; prev ; next

synopsis. dazai has a dog? AND he showed up coincidentally in front of your door?

warnings. literally just chuuya and dazai fighting and bickering. probably ooc characters.... sorry.

notes. this is just a filler chapter. I'm writing this while watching opla let me just say zoro is so fine.... oh my god…

triva:

fyodor immediately texted u after that

dazai never originally planned to show up at your dorm room, it was just coincidental that his dog was in front of your door

you found it weird — the man doesn’t even like dogs, you learned it from fyodor who goes on tangents about his friends, that the suicidal maniac tends to be empathetic at times.

speaking of the dog, he favors dazai more than anyone. maybe, that’s one of the reasons dazai tolerates the animal.

dazai doesn’t really care about his past being revealed, even sharing that he was involved with a criminal organization (he clarified he wasn’t part of it, but was involved with them). he’s empathetic, but not towards himself, you noted.

he named his dog bepo.

bepo likes you.

chuuya just really fucking hates dazai. that's an objective fact, but you knew better.

tg: @iruc @celestair

2023 © kachuuyaa. do not steal or claim my work as your own.

so then the only person kamui can be is...

BAY CITY ROMANCE 𖥻 003 𖥻 4REAL!

bcr masterlist ; prev ; next

synopsis. who knew an impromptu trip to familymart could be this cold?

warnings. CHUUYA AND RANPO RFIGHTING, gojo mention, horrible description of surroundings (nothing serious!)

notes. uhhh hehe hey...... heyyyy i know ppl wana throw tomatoes and stones but I'm back (I'm a senior now) LASO have u seen my bbgirls (choso mf kamo) debut in the shibuya arc trailerrrrr HEHEHEHE I LVOE CHOSOS SO MUCHH (follow me on twt! nikozaii if u want to hearmy insane shti) also i came back home from japan so uhhh hiiii the family,art here is loosely based on that one branch in tokyo near the hotel i stayed in

You set down your phone as your eyes flickered to the group. Ranpo, in particular, was staring out to Fyodor and Sigma, conversing about their rankings as you breathed out. You felt a gust of wind brush across your face, leaving a smile etched across your lips in tranquility. You looked towards Ranpo, that tranquility seeping into his veins as he met your gaze, making him open his eyes, letting his muscles rest as he blinked at you in recognition. “Hi,” You said, allowing Ranpo to revert to his usual expression. Crescent-shaped eyes paired with his signature mischievous smile, he adjusted his body towards you, sitting down on the soft grass as he pats the vacant space beside him. Of course, you took a step forward, the grass responding to your touch as you sat down. Grass tickled your back as you laid your palms on the soft floor. “What are we waiting for?” Ranpo mused, wrapping his arms around his knees, pulling them to his chest as he observed the duo before him. “For them to stop, I guess.” You shrugged, and Ranpo raised his hand. “Hey, guys! You both done talking?” He queried, extending the vowels of his last sentence to gain their attention, and, to his pleasure, two heads turned to the source as their conversations halted, and it was Sigma who spoke up. “Sorry! We were talking about earlier. It was such a hassle to get around the students.” He clasped his hands together, sending an awkward smile to the two of you.

“That’s okay, we were just about to ask you if you two were ready to go.” You reassured, Sigma sighing in relief at your words. Fyodor gazed at Sigma’s fidgeting hands, setting his hand on his shoulder, and observing the tiny squeak that left his mouth. “We can go now,” Fyodor said calmly, rubbing circles on Sigma’s shoulder as the latter nodded in agreement. Fyodor had a habit of tracing circles when he made contact with skin, an action of attempted comfort and for his entertainment. He knows that you don’t mind it, that you and the group were used to his peculiar habits. He huffed at this, returning his hand to its original position. Fyodor knew his habits were unusual actions that would be deemed atypical to other university students. Surely, he was a man of ambiguity shrouded in philosophies that you could never uncover, but with this enigmatic man came a plethora of tendencies that even he could not control.

The FamilyMart Fyodor talked about flickered with its signature white, green, and blue lights, highlighting the presence of the establishment, accompanied by banners outside the entrance, incorporating some of your favorite animes collaborating with the convenience store. To its right were a few potted plants, and a fluorescent street lamp illuminating the side of the road. To your left, you could spot the school’s covered court, blocked by cement walls that extend to the end of the street. The road was fairly empty, bikes only occasionally driving past the four of you as your group stared at the store. Waiting for Chuuya and Yosano left you bored, shoving your hands in your pockets, walking towards the establishment as the automatic doors slid open, making the bell ring as you were greeted by the cashier. You noticed Fyodor following suit, leaving Ranpo and Sigma outside to wait for the remaining two. As you turned back, you noticed Sigma examining the sunset, as Ranpo had his hands tucked completely in his jacket pockets, seemingly looking for his phone. Fyodor moved beside you, and your attention shifted towards him. “You looking for anything?” You asked, making Fyodor’s sharp eyes lock with yours then back to the food he was eyeing. “I wanted to try Onigiri,” He sighed, “been wanting to try it ever since I came here.”

You recalled the time Fyodor was introduced to Yokohama University. Assumptions of the new student quickly spread throughout the university, whispers and mutters about a foreign presence residing in the University you grew to find home. Of course, you weren’t an exception to the waves of utterances about the new student, who shares one class with you, and naturally, you felt drawn to listen to them. It was hard not to, as two particular friends of yours have brought you to hear their musings about the upcoming student. He carried himself with pride, his walk exuding confidence as his footsteps resounded around the hall. You remember meeting Fyodor once he stepped into the classroom as you stared at the door upon hearing its creak, followed by an apology from a foreign voice, making you perk up from your laptop. This action led you to meet the man who caught your eye, a wordless greeting formed by the color of your irises boring into his.

You never told him outright, but at that moment, it seemed a flurry of memories allowed itself to flood your mind, an endless stream of what ifs and countless possibilities presented itself to you, as if a layer of your consciousness knew he would remain with you.

That innate feeling you possessed suffocated you, that stem of anticipation twisting in your throat, a bud forming at every edge of your lungs, and at that moment, as two eyes locked, there, a blossoming flower could be found in your heart.

“[Name], look, I found Gojo’s donut,” He walked up to you, deciding to look around for a bit as you stood motionless. There were many more deserts to try, but it was the donut that really caught his eye. You snapped out of your reverie, which was, ironically, about him, only to be faced with Gojo’s smile plastered on the packet of the product he was holding. “That looks funny, is it supposed to be infinity-shaped?” You questioned, grabbing it from his hand, checking the back of it as you felt it around in your hand. “It’s cute, Fyo,” You hold it up to him, “You want it?” He nodded at your question as he took the donut back, and placed it in his basket (You wonder where he got it, but you suspected he quickly snagged one as you were reminiscing). You noticed Sigma and Ranpo from outside, conversing with each other as Sigma found himself to be the victim of Ranpo’s childish antics. “[Name], I got an iced coffee too. Do Sigma and Ranpo want anything?” Fyodor stepped out from the aisle, holding a carton of iced latte in his hand. You sighed, “Ranpo wants anything sweet. Maybe Dango would do, perhaps.” You weighed your options, while Fyodor grabbed shortbread cookies for Sigma to eat. He figured you didn’t want to walk outside as it would be a hassle, truth be told, he shared the same vision, so he opted to pick food for Sigma instead. Sigma made it clear that he was fond of cookies, the pastry always lingering in his mind whenever he was with the group. From cafes to grocery shopping, a pack of cookies always seemed to land itself in the cart, and you all knew that it was Sigma behind the action.

Your train of thought abruptly halted as the bell rang, signaling the entrance of another person. You had an inkling of who it may be, considering the road was void of any people as you entered. “Fyodor, [Name]!” The voice-- that awfully familiar voice, made your head perk up towards the door, seeing that familiar wave of black hair walk towards you. “[Name]!” She slung an arm over your shoulder, “Have you seen Fyodor? Chuuya wants a rice bowl-- you know, those prepared meals.” She lets go of you, nudging you in the process. “We all want those Blue Lock wafers, by the way.” She reminded you, as you rolled your eyes at her statement. “Mhm, yeah, right.” She laughs as she walks towards Fyodor, after grabbing a snack of her own. You picked an Onigiri out for you to eat, as well as one more for Fyodor. Juice… juice… You thought, skimming the rows of drinks, and picking one that caught your eye. You figured to get coffee for Yosano, if she hadn’t already, and one more for Chuuya, just in case.

Minutes pass as the group awaits your exit from the entrance. The moon decided to make itself known, accompanied by cold gusts of wind to all citizens of Japan. The wind was particularly comfortable, basking in the presence of passersby who felt its touch on their skin. You and your group were no exception to that. Sigma exhaled, crossing his arms, which helped alleviate the cold atmosphere surrounding him, even by just a little. They focus their eyes on the group paying for the group’s meal on the counter, then to the bickering duo to her right. “How does it feel being top 2, huh?” Ranpo provoked Chuuya, who was wearing a strained smile. “How does it feel being the next victim of my fist, huh?” He responded, gritting his teeth in an attempt to hold himself back from hitting the prodigious student. “Try it!” Ranpo giggled, running away comically as Chuuya spewed out curses towards him. Yosano sighed in faux annoyance, “These guys don’t know when to calm down, no?” She turned to Sigma, who chuckled under his breath. “Sometimes I wonder if they’ll ever stop.” He said.

“What are these two idiots doing?” You stepped out of the store with 2 plastic bags in your hand, clicking your tongue as you stared at Chuuya and Ranpo. The latter, as usual, purposefully spurs Chuuya on as he shouts at him, “You were the one who ate the last piece of my fucking milk bread?!” He looks over to you, “[Name]! Kill this idiot!” He points at you, grabbing the collar of Ranpo as he raises his hands up in surrender. “I said I was sorry!” He repeats, making Chuuya let go of him with a sigh. Ranpo brushed his sweater, sighing in relief, earning a glare from the hot-headed man. Chuuya walks up to you, shoving his hands in his pockets to warm his hands, “You got my food, [Name]?” He questioned, with a voice uncharacteristically soft compared to the tone he used on Ranpo. “Yeah, yours and Yosano’s are in this one over here.” You handed him a bag, which he took while muttering a ‘thank you’. “I’m getting tired, [Name], Fyodor.” Yosano quipped, “Sigma here is also a bit tired. We might go for the night.” She informed you, and you nodded in return.

The group decided to split ways, waving goodbye to each other, as well as throwing in heaps of congratulatory statements for everyone present. The atmosphere was chilly walking back, the flickering of the lights, with the melody of your footsteps, were the only sounds accompanying you back to your own dorm. It felt oddly calm, the noir of the night engulfing your shadow as the light of each lamp danced in your eyes, your footsteps blending in with the symphony of the dark, performing an orchestra of elements that welcomed itself in you. What you didn’t know, is that amidst the melody of nature and the song of the city that you were so used to, comes a whole different, unfamiliar tune that you were yet to experience.

trivia:

fyodor really wants his blue lock wafers

yosano's favorite character is chigiri who else cheered

fyodor likes yukimiya LOL reo is a close second

ranpo LOVESSSS BACHIRA (hes js like me… bachira 4life)

chuuya likes chigiri too… chigiri and kaiser he thinks his tattoo is cool

ranpo found a nearby gashapon and spent 1000 yen on it (he got what he wanted on his last try)

you found a stray cat meowing as you arrived at your dorm. he was a greyish-white cat, with a streak of green. an unusual color for a cat, but he was cute nonetheless.

ranpo followed yosano and chuuya home, wanting to spend the night with them

your roommate was nowhere to be seen when you arrived, but they bought a tub of ice cream for you as an apology. you texted them with the note and ice cream they left you and they laughed at it, responding with a quick no worries, and an apology for their absence.

chuuya actually wanted a carton of sake, but he refused at the last second.

tg: @iruc @celestair

2023 © kachuuyaa. do not steal or claim my work as your own.

Tobikichi Usahara ✭ Lost Time

Cat’s Note: Why are all of the men in this show so 🦆ing attractive? Uramichi and Kumatani coming soon 🤭

Summary: You broke up with him 4 years ago. Surely, he’s moved on by now, even if you haven’t. But what if he’s still stuck on you just as much as you are on him?

WC: 4.6k

Genre: exes to lovers, fluff

warnings: n/a, barely proofread, random OC

"Oh, Y/n! The girls and I are going bar hopping tomorrow, you should totally go with us!" Your friend Yumi says, lifting a stack of glass plates from a box and placing them on the kitchen counter.

You've just graduated from college, finally returning to Tokyo after 4 long years. Most people would have returned home during breaks, but you, however, had decided to remain in Sendai to work in between semesters. Most people also would have gone to college at 18. But you didn't go until you were 22, having been inspired by your ex-boyfriend's job as an actor to start pursuing videography.

So now here you are, freshly graduated, moving into a new apartment, and very happy to be home. You look over at Yumi as you carry another box into the kitchen, grunting harshly as you hoist it onto the table.

"Bar hopping?" You repeat. You reach for one of the many knives laying around and tear it through the tape on the box, carefully pulling out the pots and pans laying inside. "It may be 4 years since we've been together, but I'm sure you remember I'm not a big fan of bar hopping," you laugh lightly.

"Ahh, yeah, I do remember," Yumi giggles in return, moving the stack of plates into their designated cabinet. "But I do think it would be fun! You said you didn't have much time to go out when you were at school, well, now you have plenty of time!" She turns back to you with a bright smile. "And you never know, maybe you'll meet a cute guy while we're out," she smirks. You roll your eyes at this.

Ever since you broke things off with your ex 4 years ago, Yumi has asked relentlessly about your love life. And while there was never really anything to report, she always seemed happy to hear that you were still single.

"Please, I don't think I'll ever find love again," you sigh overdramatically, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead to nail your performance. As soon as the words leave your mouth, you pause, closing your eyes and bracing yourself for the next words to come from Yumi.

"...you're still not really over Usahara, are you?" Aaand there it is, question number 2 on the FAQ list. Yumi doesn't ask it nearly as much as the first, but she still asks often enough that you can basically tell when it's coming. And you're also tired of hearing it. Not because she keeps asking, you know she just wants to check in on you, see how you're feeling. But because your answer is always the same. 4 years of no contact, and your ex is still on your mind almost constantly.

You can only blame yourself really. You're the one who broke up with him when everything was perfect, when he wanted to stay together, when he was confident that your relationship could survive the distance once you left for school. But you weren't. You knew long distance would strain your relationship too much. It was inevitable. You were just saving yourselves the extra pain. At least, that's what you thought.

4 years and you've only had one boyfriend, and he only lasted for about 3 months. The time in between was full of failed first dates, ghostings, and creeps who were just looking to get laid. Not once did you meet someone who made your heart stop and your stomach flutter the way Usahara did. And you're beginning to wonder if you'll ever experience that feeling again. You groan and go back to unpacking your kitchen supplies.

"I think you know the answer to that, and I would rather not talk about it," you mutter. You turn to put the pots in a cabinet, missing the all-knowing smirk on your friend's face.

"Okay, we can drop the subject. But still, you should come with us! Besides, I want to buy you your first drink back in Tokyo!"

Well, can't argue with that, can you? You stop to think for a moment. Sure, you hate bar hopping, but it would probably do you some good to get out and socialize. And Yumi's right, you never know who you might meet. Maybe Tokyo guys are better than Sendai guys. Won't know unless you try, right?

"Haha. Okay, Yumi, I'll go," you say, reflecting your friend's happy grin.

"Yes!" Yumi exclaims, swaying her hips in a little happy dance.

"BUT!" You interject, cutting Yumi's celebration short. "We're not going out super late."

"No problem!"

"And when I'm exhausted and ready to go, we go?"

"Absolutely!" You would think you'd just told her that you won a million dollars and are giving her half based on the blinding smile on her face. Why is she so excited to go drinking? Should you be worried? You brush it off, chalking it up to your high school bestie just being happy to spend time with you after being apart for so long. You just hope you have enough energy tomorrow to be "Fun Y/n" and not "Tired and Cranky Y/n".

"Alright! Let's at least get your kitchen finished before we call it a night!" Yumi says, moving on to another box. You hum in agreement and follow suit.

"Ready to go?" Yumi calls. You walk into the bathroom to see her putting on her earrings, the finishing touch to her evening outfit.

"Whenever you are," you chirp. You tug lightly at the hem of the little black dress you're wearing. "Is it really okay that I wear this?" Yumi turns away from the mirror to look at you, her jaw dropping.

"Y/n you look gorgeous! That dress fits you a lot better than it does me. Any man should feel lucky to have you even spare them a glance!"

"Is your plan for us to hang out or to find me a boyfriend?" You laugh

"Why not both?" Yumi jokes back. "Seriously though, you should keep that dress. I never wear it anyway." You look at yourself in the mirror and damn, this dress does look nice on you. You mentally agree with Yumi's statement, any man should feel lucky. "The others said they would meet us at the bar, so we can head on over!"

With a new sense of self-confidence, you and Yumi leave your apartment to head to the first bar just a short walk away.

You get there and say hello to the group of girls, some of which you haven't seen since high school. The girls all order a shot or two, trying to get a little buzzed while you're at the cheapest place on the route. You order a drink that's a little lighter on the alcohol, not wanting to risk getting too drunk this early on. Once you're done there, it's on to the next place, and so on.

By the time your little group starts to leave the third bar, some of the girls are already starting to feel the effects of the shots they've taken. Yumi glances at the time on her phone and raises her voice to get everyone's attention.

"Hey, we should go to that little lounge on the next street over!" She suggests excitedly. Before you can agree, some of the other girls speak up.

"The lounge? I thought you didn't like that place?"

"Yeah, you always say it's kinda sketchy."

You turn to Yumi to see how she explains her sudden change of heart, only to see her fiddling with her fingers, something she does nervous. Or when she's planning something.

"Ahh, yeah I know but... but they have a really good happy hour deal at this time!" The girls tilt their heads in question but agree to go nonetheless. You make your way to the next street and see your destination ahead of you and, yeah, it does look a bit sketchy. But, no one says anything as you enter the little hangout.

"Let's sit over here!" Yumi says, darting ahead toward the end of the bar table. You all look at each other, mutually confused by Yumi's sudden enthusiasm and determination to, not only visit this specific bar, but also sit in a specific spot. But you swallow your questions and follow. The first thing you notice is how dark it is, and you don't believe it's purposeful mood lighting either. The second thing is the lack of people. Granted, it's a small bar, but even so, the seating isn't half full. Why are you here again?

You sit beside Yumi who has an unusually bright smile, even for her. You all order your drinks and take your time with them, catching up with each other in quiet chit-chat. You're there for a short time before a couple of guys enter the lounge, walking past the bar to sit at a table already occupied by a couple others.

"Heyyy, sorry we're late, we totally lost track of time," a man speaks from the table. His voice sounds familiar, almost comforting, but you’re too preoccupied with watching Yumi take a shot to really think about it.

"I think you mean you lost track of time," a second, more monotone voice speaks.

"Dude, seriously?!" Okay, you know you know that voice. You lean forward against the bar to take a quick glance past Yumi to the table several feet away from you. You quickly scan over the people, trying to be as casual as possible. You see two dark-haired men sitting beside each other, talking quietly with very neutral expressions, making you question whether they want to be there or not. You feel like you recognize the black-haired man, though you can’t place where you’ve seen him.

To their left is a very drunk woman, tears streaming down her flushed face. Beside her is another man with his face turned away from you, his blond hair, that's obviously dyed and desperately needs a retouch, is swept to the side and clipped with a... strawberry barrette?

Your quick and casual glance becomes a stare as you squint in an attempt to see the hair accessory better. You used to have a hair clip just like that one. You wore it all the time and were quite upset when you lost it. Before it can click in your mind, the man turns just enough for you to see his face and...

No, it's not. There's no way. You feel your heart flutter in a way it hasn't in years, but you still refuse to believe what you're seeing. Yumi notices your shocked expression and follows your line of sight, her eyes widening slightly when they land on the table.

"Yooo, is that who I think it is?"

"I'm... I'm pretty sure it is," you say, dazed. It's Usahara, sitting at the table beside you, wearing the hair barrette you lost at his place years ago.

"You should go say hi!" Yumi encourages, patting you on the arm excitedly. You almost get up from your seat right then, but the little shred of hope in your heart disappears when the crying woman suddenly crashes against Usahara's chest and his arms wrap around her. Yumi, whose eyes are trained on you, completely misses what's happening. "You never know, maybe you can pick up where you left off."

You quickly turn your eyes back to your drink, sinking into your seat.

"I doubt that. It was so long ago, I'm sure he's had several girlfriends since then. Look, he's with someone now," you state bluntly. Yumi turns back to see who you're talking about. The woman is now sitting up again, her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. She looks to Usahara who is sitting awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to handle the situation.

"Uhh, something tells me it's not like that," Yumi says. She turns back to you and places a gentle hand on your arm. "Come on, Y/n, just say hi. If he's not happy to see you, then we'll hit the next bar and get so drunk you'll forget you even saw him." Yumi grins and you realize it's the same suspicious smile she's had since she mentioned bar hopping the night before. Hold on a second.

"Why do I get the feeling you knew he'd be here?" You say, knowing it sounds like a serious accusation. But the moment the words leave your mouth, Yumi freezes. Gotcha.

"Whaaat? Nooo we're here for the happy hour! Remember?" She waves her hands around as though to distract you as she does her best to defend herself. You give her a "be honest" glare and she cracks within a second. "Okay, yeah, I see him and his friends here a lot, the chances were pretty high," she mutters.

"And that's why you wanted to come here so badly, isn't it?" You question further. Yumi stares into her drink and starts fiddling with her fingers again.

"Umm, that... might've been part of why. But that's beside the point!" She exclaims, looking back up at you. "We're here, he's here, and you should say something!" You remain quiet, unsure if you really should say anything or just try to leave without being seen. And Yumi seems to be able to tell exactly what you're thinking. "If you don't I will."

Uh oh. If there's one thing you've learned about Yumi in your years of being friends, it's that she's not afraid to embarrass herself. If she says she'll do something, chances are, she will. Before you can even respond, Yumi is taking a breath and turning in her chair, ready to shout to the table.

"HE-" she starts, and you swear your heart stops. You grab her arms and pull her back around to you, stopping her call before it gets very loud.

You hide behind her, mortified that she may have accomplished her goal and drawn some attention. You peek over her shoulder thankful to see that Usahara is too busy drinking his beer to have noticed anything. But before you can sigh in relief, your eyes meet those of the man on the other side of the table, and by the look in his steely grey eyes, it's safe to say Yumi had caught his attention. He breaks eye contact, turns back to his friends, and doesn't say a word.

"Okay, okay," you whisper, letting go of Yumi's arms "Just, please don't yell." Yumi giggles happily, satisfied that her plan is working. You take a deep breath and finish your drink quickly before getting up from your seat and adjusting your dress. Your heart is pounding in your chest, but you realize, it's not entirely of anxiety, but excitement. Yumi takes your hand and gives it an encouraging squeeze.

"I'll be right here, ready to support or fly out of here at the slightest notice." You squeeze her hand back and smile. You let go and make your way over to the table. The first person to notice you approaching is the same man you'd made eye contact with just moments before, though he remains quiet. Usahara is distracted with cleaning up a bit of beer that had been knocked over, still completely unaware of your presence. By this point, you've caught everyone's attention, everyone aside from Usahara.

"Tobikichi?" You say, your voice just barely above a whisper. Usahara stops his cleaning, but it takes him a second before he turns to you. His eyes meet yours and, there they are, the special butterflies that you've dreamed of having again since you saw him last.

"No way... Y/n?" Usahara says, not believing his eyes. His look of shock flips into one of joy as he jumps from his seat and, without a second thought, he's wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. You hug him back, taking the moment to breathe in his familiar and comforting scent. Yep, he still wears the same cheap cologne. You never knew you could miss a smell so much until you'd said goodbye. He slowly pulls away from you, cool grey eyes scanning over you.

"You look beautiful..." He blurts, causing you both to blush. Before you can accept his compliment, he's moving on. "Haha, ahh, what are you doing here?"

“I’m back from school,” you answer softly. Usahara’s smile grows impossibly wider.

“Like, back for good?”

“Yeah, for good,” you nod in confirmation. Usahara perks, suddenly remembering who he’s with. He moves to stand beside you and places his on your shoulder, sending sparks down your back.

“Oh, by the way!” He starts, lifting his hand to gesture to his table of friends. “You’ve met Kumatani before, right?” Ahh, that’s why he seemed familiar.

“We met once,” Kumatani replies stoically. And now you remember. You’d only met him once, but Usahara would talk about him a lot. He was down to earth and wasn’t afraid to put Usahara in his place when needed. You appreciated it.

“Thought so!” Usahara says, moving on to the other two people. “This is Uramichi and Utano. They’re my co-workers.” You feel relief when you hear “co-workers”. Yumi was right, it isn’t like that. “Too bad Iketeru isn’t here. He’s not a big drinker, so he backed out for tonight.”

“So, how do you guys know each other?” Uramichi asks, suspicious that his annoying co-worker could be friends with someone like you. You and Usahara freeze, neither of you wanting to answer.

“They dated several years ago,” Kumatani answers for you without hesitation. Utano sits straight up, tears still streaming down her face, but at least she’s no longer sobbing.

“Oh, are you the ex he’s always talking about?” She sniffs. You look at her, confused.

“What?” You ask, hoping to get her to elaborate, and Kumatani starts to do just that.

“He talks about you a lot when he’s dru-”

“OKAY!” Usahara shouts, stepping a bit in front of you and cutting Kumatani off before he can expose him any further. “I don’t think we need to talk about any of that.” Actually, yes, I think we do. “Anyway, uhh, are you here by yourself?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I’m here with-” your sentence is stopped midway through when an arm is slung over your shoulders.

“Me!” Yumi says, leaning over you.

“Oh, Yumi! Long time no see, huh?” Usahara greets.

“Yeaaah, real long time!” Yumi smiles. “Y/n, the girls and I are thinking about getting one more round and then heading out,” she says, pointing back to the bar. You’re about to say that you’ll be right over when Usahara starts to speak.

“Hey, let me buy you a drink!” He offers happily, making Yumi smile.

“Oh, that’s not necessary!” You say.

“Please? As a welcome home,” He says, already pulling out his wallet and heading back to the bar.

“Come on, don’t say no to a free drink!” Yumi pulls you by your arm to follow, and you do, albeit hesitantly. Once you’re at the bar, Yumi returns to the group, leaving you and Usahara there alone.

“Get what you want,” Usahara says after taking a quick flip through his wallet.

“You have the money to make that kind of offer?” You tease.

“WHA-hey! I’ll have you know I’ve gotten better at handling money… kind of.”

“Mhmm?”

“Whatever, I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure.” His face grows red and you laugh at his response. Your eyes catch sight of the little pink and red accessory in his hair again, contrasting sharply against his bleach blond hair.

“By the way, is that my strawberry barrette you’re wearing?” His face couldn’t possibly get any more flushed. His hand flies up to the clip and removes it.

“It… might be,” he mumbles. His hands play around with it, bending the clip back and forth.

“I can’t believe you still have it after all this time,” you whisper. Usahara smiles fondly.

“Well, it is pretty handy,” he jokes. His fidgeting stops and he places the barrette onto the table, sliding it towards you. “Here, you can have it back.” You pick up the hair clip and examine it closely. It looks almost exactly the same as the day you last saw it, aside from some chipped plastic coating on the sides. He’s taken very good care of it. You run your thumb over the bumpy, textured strawberry.

“You keep it,” you say softly. You reach for his hair and gently sweep it behind his ear, clipping it in place with the barrette. “It looks better on you anyway.” Jeez, are you purposefully trying to fluster him? Usahara laughs nervously and rubs his clammy hands on his pants. If his heart beats any faster, he’s convinced it’ll burst right out from his chest.

You order your drinks and sit in awkward silence as you try to figure out what to talk about. You have so much, 4 years' worth. Where do you start?

“So… have you dated anyone since we broke up?” Well, guess that’s one place to start.

“Umm… not really. There was this one guy who lasted a few months, but he turned out to be a total creep,” you answer honestly, your voice faltering a bit.

“Ahh, gotcha,” he says awkwardly. You drag a finger over your glass, watching as the condensation collects and runs down the cool surface.

“What about you? I’m sure you’ve had a girl or two over the last few years, Mr. Mascot,” you laugh lightly, trying to relieve the strange and uncomfortable pressure.

“Haha, I, uh, haven’t had any, actually…”

…Oh

“Hey, Y/n,” Yumi calls. You turn to see her and the others gathering their purses and standing from their seats, some struggling a little more than others. “We’re heading to the next bar. You coming?” Before you can even think of what to answer with, Yumi is shooting you a look that screams “don’t you dare say ‘yes’”. You smile, this was for sure her plan the entire time.

“I think I’ll stay here for a bit longer.” Yumi beams at your reply and walks over to hug you.

“Okay! I’ll see you tomorrow then. Still on for dinner?”

“Yeah of course!”

“Great!” Yumi moves her gaze from you to the man beside you giving him a sweet but serious glare. “Usahara, take care of my girl, ‘kay? Don’t let anything happen to her.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Usahara says nervously. Yumi gives you both another wide smile before walking out the door to catch up with the others. “She’s still as intimidating as I remember,” he says, making you laugh.

You turn back around and catch Usahara already looking at you, an unreadable grin on his face. As soon as you make eye contact, his smile drops and his head whips in a different direction. Subtle. You two resume conversation, catching up on everything you’ve missed out on each other. Usahara’s friends eventually leave as well, leaving just the two of you. You talk about everything, how your schooling went and how much you hate-loved it, how he’s still working as a bunny mascot on a children’s show but he’s generally happy with where he is. Once the initial awkwardness is gone, you speak like no time has passed. It’s as though you had just seen each other yesterday, rather than 4 years ago.

Usahara’s phone buzzes, prompting him to pick it up. His eyes widen when he sees the time. 3 hours have passed, and neither of you can believe it.

“We should probably get going,” he says reluctantly, and you agree. You both stand from the bar and head towards the door where Usahara rushes ahead of you to open it for you. “Let me walk you home!” His proposal catches you off guard.

“You don’t have to do that, I don’t live far,” you say, not wanting him to feel obligated to.

“It’s okay, I want to,” he says confidently. He wants to. You half expected to walk out this door, say your goodbyes, and then be hit with the reality that he didn’t want to see you again. But instead, he’s offering to walk you home because he wants to. You don’t trust your voice to come out clearly, so you just nod and start walking toward your apartment.

The short walk there is silent, but this time, an easy, relaxed silence. You climb the stairs to your doorstep and pull out your keys to unlock your door before you turn back to the man. The atmosphere that was comfortable just a moment ago, is now tense and awkward.

“Thank you for walking me… it was really good to see you, Tobikichi,” you say softly.

“Of course, it was good to see you too,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight from side to side. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well.” You continue to stand there; neither of you wants to say goodbye. Then, almost subconsciously, you’re stepping forward and wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into the crook of his neck. You feel his muscles tense in surprise before he relaxes and returns your embrace, an arm snaking around your waist and a hand gently holding the back of your head, pressing you closer against him. You have no idea how long you stood there, entangled in each other’s arms and soaking in each other’s warmth. You grasp him as though you’re afraid he’ll disappear.

Usahara finally pulls away from you slowly, but he stops when your eyes meet his. A beat passes before-

“Can I kiss you?” He blurts. What? You don’t answer, your mind still trying to process to be sure you heard him right. Thinking he’s made a mistake, Usahara’s grip starts to loosen, his arm slipping from your side. But before he can let go, you grab onto his shirt, pulling him back against you.

“Please,” you practically whimper. Usually, you would cringe at your behavior. Begging a man to kiss you? Come on. But right now, you can’t find it in you to care about how desperate you may look. You just want his lips on yours, and it’s the only thing you can attempt to be concerned about. His face gets hot, turning almost as pink as the barrette still in his hair, and you can’t help but think it’s a good color on him.

His hands return to your waist, holding you firmly as he leans his face closer to yours. A sharp chill runs down your spine when his lips ghost over yours and you find yourself suppressing a whine that threatens to escape your throat. Usahara smiles mischievously, proud of the reaction he’s so easily able to draw from you. But, as much as he enjoys teasing you, he can’t wait any longer.

His hand runs from your waist, up your side, and to your neck, cradling your face gently. And then, finally, he places a tender kiss against your lips. It’s delicate, familiar, the feeling of his lips moving lightly against yours, like he’s afraid he may break you. Your fists ball in his shirt, tugging him further down in a silent plea, and you feel his lips curve in a smile against yours.

He takes a careful step forward, pushing your back against the door. The kiss quickly moves from sweet and chaste, to needy and passionate. Your hands move from his shirt around his neck, fingers running through his silky hair, pulling a soft, muffled grunt from his lungs.

Your lips part and he gives just enough space for you to see his face and the sight turns your already swirling insides into a storm. Wow, did you miss that look he’s giving you, blushing, flustered and messy. You’re sure you look the same. He leans closer again, pressing his heated forehead against yours.

“I’ve… missed you, so much,” he pants. “You have no idea how happy I was to see you.” He kisses you again, his lips moving feverishly.

“I missed you too. So much, you have no idea. I’m so sorry,” you mutter in between each heated kiss. Usahara breaks the kiss to pull you against him again, his arms embracing you and a deep, contented sigh rushing against your ear. Your hands drag down to his chest and you feel his heart beat frantically against your palms. You stay there for a moment until you remember that you’re standing on your doorstep. He moves to kiss you again, but you stop him before he can.

“Want to come inside?” You whisper against his lips, and he smirks.

“I’d like that. We should start making up for lost time.”

Teenagers

死にたがり  

Q looks so adorable in the back🥺

Original art by Kiragera

💫

orpheus and eurydice

𝐁𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 / bsd smau

a nikolai x reader smau !

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; romance was never your forte. naturally, you're afraid of commitment and more so the hurt your heart will potentially experience while being in a relationship. so once you were greeted with an opportunity for one, your first instinct is to run away. however, it seems the gods blessed you with friends whose motive is to keep you grounded in this experience for the first time.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ; smau. no abilities au. fluff. angst. crack. gn!reader strangers to lovers. romance. uni au. slice of life. (kinda slowslow) slow burn.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ; reader is a big big overthinker, slight miscommunication, unhealthy coping mechanisms (avoidance, isolation, etc.), everyone but a selected few are stupid, confusion, burnt out reader, mentally challenged characters, kys/kms jokes, mentions of sensitive topics! (mental illness and such), feelings get in the way sometimes, chuuya and dazai’s petty banter, mentions of consuming alcohol n cigs slight crossover (genshin)

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 ; sporadic uploading

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 ; kunikida is the only rational person here i fear (he doesnt even have twitter) timestamps do not matter unless i say so! everyone is 18+, sideships included (but not explicitly implemented)

written portions are indicated using ❖

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 ; zesty bitches ℘ whorehouse asylum

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ;

𝐀𝐂𝐓 1 ; foreign idiosyncrasies

001. calm down

002. second yr

003. 4real

004. when i

005. movie night???

006. who even r u

𝐌𝐀𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ; HEYYYYY its been a year im so fucking sorry but i promsie i’ll do this. ill actually commit to this there was actually somrthing i had in the works but i had to abandon it fkr a year cuz of school…. there has been a lot going on and im graudating this year so UM… yea theres that… how is tje bsd anime btw… love all of u soso much <3 take care of urselves mwamwa (also dont ask mw about the event reqs theyre there id otn think ill continue it) also when i mean slight genshin crossover ull see ull see :3

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; …

2023 © kachuuyaa. do not steal or claim my work as your own.

he’s so 😊

crumpled sopping wet paper kaveh for u

he’s so pretty ☹️

清淡

i love him 🙁

creating the ULTIMATE housewarden

AHHHH

Idia overblot for chapter 6!!!

Master Crepus painted many eagles during his lifetime, but he never could've foreseen creating an eagle with such fire.

remember how dazai despised the sheep for using chuuya for their own personal gain? remember how he stood up to them by saying that chuuya is capable of making his own decisions? and how he always asks chuuya if he's alright with using corruption even if he already knows the answer?

dazai must be really pissed at the fact that his partner has been turned into a mindless vampire being used as fyodor's trump card

Yeah see here's the thing

I have only seen the raws of bsd chapter 101 so I do not know what they are actually saying, however, I firmly believe that Chuuya will not die. If Dazai had seemed more melancholy or regretful when deciding to let Chuuya supposedly drown, then yes, I would have my doubts. However, just smiling and letting him? No. Dazai may be very complex when it comes to his feelings toward Chuuya, but letting his former partner die with a smile on his face? I don't buy it.

the audacity of this chapter