Sweetestpunk - The Shack

Abusers have human sides to them too.

When abuse, whether real or fictional, is talked about in media, one of two things usually happens. The abuser is either completely dehumanised and painted as an evil caricature, or given a tragic backstory that makes the victim feel so sorry for their abuser they end up forgiving them.

And I think this is part of why it can be so hard to believe we ourselves are going through abuse. Because when it's you going through it, you see the human side of your abuser too. You see them cry, and laugh, and overcome adversity, and be vulnerable, and feel scared and small. You see them struggle and you see them genuinely try to spend quality time with you, and you see them show the ways they love you. Sometimes, you can even see that they mean it when they say they love you.

And because we've been taught that "actual" abusers are all bad, heartless, merciless, and lacking in humanity, and everyone else is just a suffering person who hurt others because they were hurting inside, we think what we're going through can't possibly be abuse. We think we're exaggerating, or being weak, or selfish. We punish ourselves for not being more understanding of what they're going through. We convince ourselves we're making it all up and we're the monsters in our own story.

But we're not. We're just not used to acknowledging that abusers are human, and that their humanity does not negate their abuse.

If you've ever questioned your abuse because your abuser was struggling, or genuinely loved you, or was trying their best, or expressed conflicting emotions, or was abused themselves, this post is for you. I believe you. I believe what happened to you was abuse. Their circumstances did not justify their actions.

I believe you, and you are not alone.

If you said yes to the first 3 please explain in the tags what animal it was and what was the damage

you heathens will reblog day specific posts any day of the week. i woke up thinking it was wednesday

"What is that tublr deviantart emo band shirt anime store?"

- TJ trying to figure out what hot topic is

people who enter my home will be shown an assortment of objects

i can’t listen to misery business because i hate businesses

this is to the guy in the electronics department at walmart who when I approached and said “game” because it was the only word that would come to me, went “yeah” and walked me straight to tears of the kingdom, no questions asked

"girl dinner is when you don't eat teehee" "men think about the roman empire women think about their ex best friends and poetry" "✨sapphic love✨ is so pure and innocent and sweet unlike nasty gross Man Lust" "girl math is when you can buy starbucks and makeup because you didn't buy it yesterday so it's free" "I'm going to explain (complex topic) for the girlies! so basically it's like when you go shopping-" "I love women because they're so soft and smooth and feminine and we can talk about girly things and they're not sweaty or hairy or horny like gross men" "women should be unemployed girls don't need jobs men should do all that for us" "ugh girls that don't like pink or being feminine just need to stop being such pick mes and get over their internalized misogyny it's gross"

god save my hairy dyke ass from this hell before I start whacking people's shins with my Girl Baseball Bat. teehee!