HEAVY On One Of Them Being Sober Omg

HIIII or should I say bună ( that was a shit joke my bad ) :3 anyway how are youuuuu

LMAOOO im good! im like super burnt out from ap exams :( but i think im recovering a bit!! :) hruuu

as a chicagoan this is so funny 😭😭😭

our father, who art in chicago,

Billie rides reader’s strap while Billie is recording adlibs for her freaky songs (oxytocin, Billie bossa nova, and lunch). Some make it on to the songs while some remain for their ears only

Lunch

thank you for the requesttttt :P i hope you like it - it’s not the best but hey ho.

warnings: billies fem!reader, fluff, smut, strap riding, spitting, slight exhibitionism

a/n: ok gang. we just gotta go with it cuz if someone did this to me i’d sue the living daylights out of them. no joke.

~~~~~

waking up from an afternoon nap, you stretch and yawn - your limbs splayed out across the bed. you notice that billie’s body is no longer lying next to yours so you walk over to the bathroom and do your business before deciding to go and look for her.

your feet slowly pad down the stairs, your (billie’s) pajama shirt still draped from your shoulders. you fiddle with the hem lying across your thighs as you search the house for your girlfriend.

looking through all the ususal spots, you don’t find her - she must be in her studio.

you tiptoe to the door, carefully twisting the doorknob and peering your head through the crack in the door. in front of you, facing the wall adorned with screens, you find billie messing around on the computer.

she has her headphones on and the microphone in front of her so you quietly approach her, hoping not to disturb the take she’s on. placing your hand gently on her shoulder, billie places her hand over yours - wordlessly telling you, i see you.

you patiently wait, stood behind her and watching her work her magic. after a minute or so of billie singing some adlibs she triumphantly hits the space bar on her keyboard - signifying to you that she’s not recording anymore.

at that, you lean down, your arms wrapping around her shoulders as you remove her headphones from one ear.

“i missed you when i woke up, bil” you say.

“sorry baby, i couldn’t sleep” she mumbles, her head resting on yours.

“can i sit with you?” you ask her, pulling her chair out to meet her eyes.

billie says nothing, but double taps her lap telling you to sit. you recieve the offer, sitting sideways on her thighs.

“you can get comfier than that” billie tells you, her hands gripping your hips and lifting them to be straddling hers.

you sit there like a koala in her arms as she lightly strokes your back with her nails - leaving chills up and down your spine.

every touch of hers is awakening a desire in you that was not there moments before. figuring that this isn’t the time, you fidget in her lap and pull her hand from your back.

“what’s wrong?” billie questions.

“nothing, just… stop touching me like that” you mumble into her shoulder.

confused, billie pulls you away from your hiding spot and makes eye contact with you.

“why, mama? what’s wrong?” she reiterates, a caring tone in her voice

you can’t help but blush under her affectionate stare. so you cover your face with both hands, trying to rid yourself of the embarassment.

“tell me” she coaxes.

“it’s making me…” you pause, peering through your fingers covering your eyes, “it’s making me horny” you try again.

“oh, is that so?”, you nod, “and that means i have to stop because?…” billie questions, a new flirty edge is evident in her voice.

“‘cause your busy” you reply, wiping your eyes of any remaining sleep.

“i can multitask” billie quips, a new, mischevious smirk on her face. her hands return to your waist, tucked underneath your shirt. she lightly strokes your sides, tickling not quite but just enough.

her hands inch lower, to your thighs, as she leaves a kiss on your forehead. hands caressing your soft skin, you let out a low whimper beneath your breath - the sound escaping before you can stop it.

billie’s grip becomes firmer, her nails slightly digging into the supple skin at the top of your thighs. billie’s head dips to leave an open-mouthed, wet kiss on your collarbone.

“bil...” you mumble.

“huh, baby?”

“don’t start something you can’t finish” you whisper, eager not to get all worked up if she’s going to ignore you when it’s time to work.

billie says nothing in reply, but takes your hand from her shoulder and guides it to lay over her core. you find the bulge of the strap poking through the zip of her jeans.

you let out a soft chuckle, of course billie knew that you’d be horny when you woke up. you always are after a nap.

“you knew?” you ask, your cheeks flushing red.

“i know you” billie laughs with sarcasm.

unintentionally, your hips begin to grind on billie - need taking over your body. “i need you, bil.”

at that, billie unzips her pants and lowers her boxers, allowing the strap to protrude from her hips. your hands stroke the length from top to bottom.

billie’s left hand travels towards your core, coaxing you over your panties. her head cranes forward, her lips landing next to your ear.

“i have an idea.” billie whispers. you nod for her to go on.

“can i record your pretty little noises, mama?”

you pulll your head away from billie, searching for her eyes. slightly unsure if she’s being serious or not, you ask her, “for real?”

billie wordlessly nods, a smile creeping on her face. at the sight of her excitement, you begin flush, your head nodding before you can think twice.

billie’s smile widens at your agreemement as she continues to caress your core. her hands tug at your panties, pulling from one side to the other. her two middle fingers dip low in your center, collecting the wetness pooling out of you.

“your so wet baby. you like that idea, huh?” billie teases you.

you simply whine in response, your hips grinding on billie’s hand - searching for any contact possible.

“i gotchu, baby. be patient” billie coos at your desperation. you feel her free hand leave your hip, and hear her press the space bar - the noise reverbirating in your mind. the realization hits you that any sounds you make will be permenant - etched into the file.

silently, you bring your hand up to your face and spit onto your middle fingers. you take your soaked hand and begin to stroke the length of the strap again. as you commit your dirty actions, your sustain eye contact with billie the whole time. the breath catches in her throat as she lets out a slight gasp watching you.

with a new fiery passion, billie pulls your underwear further to the side, the hem ripping slightly from her vigour. the sound of the thread snapping is picked up on the mic - billie watches the soundwaves emerge on the screen in front of her.

she takes your hips in her hands and raises them to hover over the strap. your legs are jittering in anticipation as you hover over billie.

“please” you whimper, tired of waiting for her to enter you.

satisfied, billie uses her grip to coax your hips down - your pussy begins to swallow every inch of the strap as you descend. you let out a high pitched moan as you bottom out on the strap, the tip of it hitting your cervix.

you stay still for just a moment, adjusting to the stretch. billie fiddles with your hair as you relax on top of her - her hands soothing you of any pain.

“you got it, mama” billie encourages you. so you begin to grind your hips forwards and back, your clit rubbing on the base of the strap.

soon, the pleasure is overwhelming your mind and you let out a low moan, your pussy relaxing with you. your grip tightens on billie’s shoulders as you search for stability in your motions.

billie leans forward, hugging her arms around your waist as you ride her. her arms cuddle you into submission and your hips begin to move feverishly on top of billie. “unh- fuck” you lightly yell as your head drops into billie’s shoulder.

“your doing so good, pretty girl. i can feel your pussy clenching around me. keep going” billie says, her hands tickling up and down your spine as they were earlier.

her motions send chills through your body, the sensation bleeding down each of your legs - collecting at your core.

with each movement you grow more tired, closer that ever to reaching your peak. noticing your wavering limbs, billie takes hold of your ass and uses her grip to slam you up and down her strap.

with each thrust, you pant in a rhythm. breathing in when she lifts you, panting out when she pushes you down.

“i need to cum, please” you beg her, the coil in in your tummy threatening to snap any second. billie reaches her tattoed hand down between your legs and rubs your clit in tight circles. this throws you over the edge.

you moan out, pleading with her, “please baby, i can’t- fuck! - i can’t hold on any longer.”

“go ahead baby, cum all over me” billie permits you. her words cause a surge of wetness to drip out of you, coating the strap and pooling at the base.

“unh, fuck! so good!” you whimper as you cum. your hands leaving scratches underneath billie’s shirt on her shoulder blades.

as you come down from your high, your limbs turn to jelly and your breath goes ragged - fanning on billie’s neck.

“such a good girl” billie coos at you, her free hand reaching over and hitting the space bar for a final time - cementing your noises in her computer.

*** skip to the release of hmhas ***

tonight is billie’s album release party in new york. you came with her so that you can experience the album together for the first time - you sat in the stands as billie runs around in the pit. billie’s been teasing you for months, not playing any of the songs for you until their release.

flooding the arena, the first song, skinny, plays through the foggy room. your eyes well up as you listen, taking mental guesses at when she wrote the song - going through your rolodex of memories together.

next, lunch begins to play. billie told you earlier today to listen carefully to the second song on the album so you do exactly that.

your cheeks flush as you process the words in ‘lunch’. you feel like everyone must be looking at you as they hear the lyrics - assuming, no, knowing - they’re about you. just about managing to keep your dignity intact, you make it through most of the song. but as the outro plays, you suddenly want the ground to swallow you whole. you recognize the panting making the beat. that’s you. from that one evening months ago.

your hands abashedly cover your face, your eyes peeking through your fingers.

“oh god” you sigh, wholy embarrassed by the sound of you cumming being blasted to 20k people around you. and even more people at home around the world.

you proceed to listen to the rest of the album and head backstage once it’s over. walking through the grand empty halls, you search for billie’s green room.

after five minutes of searching, you stumble upon it. with a playful anger coursing through your veins, you burst through the door yelling, “billie!”

billie looks like a deer in headlights, shocked at your sudden entrance. “… yes?” she replies.

“you bitch! i can’t believe you did that!” you yell, walking over to her and slapping her shoulder.

she just cackles that cackle of hers and throws her head back - finally catching on to the cause of your annoyance. she opens her arms despite your attitude and asks, “you liked the album then?”

you fold, falling into her embrace and mumbling “i can’t believe you did that. that’s so embarrassing” through a laugh.

she giggles with you, her arms stroking your back like they did that once many months ago.

i feel like this playlist is filled with billie eilish songs. like i just KNOW thats the one part of their music taste they have in common

wenclair headcanons:

Wednesday very reluctantly plays video games with enid it's usually a horror but Wednesday's guilty pleasure is playing stardew valley

Wednesday longboards and Enid rollerblades

Wednesday is forced to do skincare with Enid every weekend

the first time Enid came over to Wednesday's house she was forced to spar Gomez when he heard she is on the fencing team (she won)

when Enid is bored she'll draw on Wednesday usually little doodles around her freckles and scars

Enid calls Wednesday by greek pet names το φεγγάρι μου (my moon) and αγαπητέ μου (my dear while Wednesday uses Italian and Spanish pet names il mio sole (my sun) and querida (darling)

Wednesday has a stiff neck from constantly looking at her typewriter, and Enid will help by massaging her neck when it gets too bad

Enid's favorite thing to do with Wednesday is dancing on their balcony they even get a Playlist mixed with songs both of them love to dance to together it's when she sees Wednesday smile the most

LITERALLY LMAO its always the middle of the night where im so awake and im like "omg i can do EVERYTHING at once" and I do...but during the day im like "brush teeth too hard :( wanna sleep" even if ive slept 10 hours 💀

ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.

ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week

nah im just stuck on the fact that they called ISOPODS cringe 😭

i love how whenever something gets popular the underground tormented avant garde bloggers start becoming self conscious of liking it/finding it funny, and it eventually evolves into aggression towards it. doesnt matter what it is. unrelated but i saw someone call isopods cringe today

i go CRAZYYY for switch!billie.

esp since im actually the switchiest switch to ever have switched

switch!billie canons? 🙏🙏

switch!billie headcanons

→ switch!billie who teases you all night just to end up begging under you the second the door closes

→ switch!billie who calls you “baby” and “pretty girl” while you ride her, moaning into your mouth

→ switch!billie who slaps your ass and pulls your hair one night, then whines for you to choke her the next

→ switch!billie who gets cocky until you pull her hair and she folds instantly

→ switch!billie who says “you’re mine” while her legs are shaking under your touch

→ switch!billie who grinds on your thigh while fingering you, both of you desperate and clinging

→ switch!billie who makes you beg on your knees and then collapses when you get your hands on her

→ switch!billie who tugs your panties down with her teeth, but goes breathless when you push her on her back

→ switch!billie who says “you gonna be good for me?” while already soaking the strap you’re putting on

→ switch!billie who marks you up with bruises and scratches and then asks sweetly, “can I have one too?”

→ switch!billie who moans louder than you when you ride her strap and talk dirty in her ear

→ switch!billie who brats just so you’ll pin her down and fuck her until she can’t talk

→ switch!billie who ties you up one night, and then the next begs you to do the same to her

→ switch!billie who’ll dom the shit out of you until she’s whining and whimpering under your fingers ten minutes later