Its What He Deserves

the thing I can’t get over about you’re the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless, loving human being is that the narrative really decided that yes, in fact, this deserved to be acknowledged, out loud, definitively, as an absolute truth. this singular man, out of every person in every universe, is constructed of such a deep wellspring of tenderness and love that the mere act of speaking the fact of it, with no expectation of return, could be a moment of pure happiness simply because it needed to be said. that this man who has had practically everything stolen from him, been manipulated, battered, betrayed, abandoned at every turn; who has endured and witnessed darkness that would swallow anyone else whole, who tries to mold himself to whatever others require or any situation needs, who lives with the constant weight of the evil of the world, and the impossible fight, and the mistakes, and the abuse, and the sacrifices and the catastrophic self-loathing, that he still stands there and radiates such a powerful love that it causes other beings to love the entire world through him and because of him. 

that the other emissaries of heaven were threatened because they can’t comprehend that love; that certain agents of darkness were drawn in because they’re deprived of and crave that love; that it could cause an angel to break ranks and choose him, that it would scream from his skin like a siren song, that it would keep time in his heart and measure the beats through every action. that his love is alluring and irrevocable and galaxy-defining. that this story’s God would be petty and jealous and deceiving, act as a puppet-master, and not know love at all, be an almighty moving his chess pieces dispassionately, and that even he would see Dean as nothing but a weapon, his blunt instrument to wield, and because this God can’t fathom what this one man is capable of, he fails to control him. because the rage and the loss and the responsibility was foisted upon him unfairly, was part of the plan, but the spark of his soul was not. the capacity of his love and compassionate courage is all his, is all him to the essence.

and so he’s more than everyone, even the author himself. more acutely human. more radiantly holy.

and as someone who’s argued this point for years, waxed poetic about it and wept over it and clung too closely to his character because of it, been frustrated when the narrative tried to sublimate it and yet knew it always burnished his being, hearing it spoken aloud was like exhaling and then catching your breath when you didn’t even realize you were drowning a moment earlier.

I’ve used that Siken quote (do I apologize for being that girl, that cliche? never) forever -  Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. and it his religion, his true faith, his freedom and authenticity lives in it. it’s a transcendence. it’s so big that Cas, a soldier meant only to serve that controlling, capricious God, looked at that love and saw actual divinity, and it was transformative. love is Dean’s religion - but Cas’ religion is Dean, and then the story’s underlying text is that, because it’s an act of free will, everyone else’s faith should be rooted there too. you can die for love, they all have. Dean deserves to live for it, because the world needs it and is better and more beautiful because of it.

it’s such a profound concept in the narrative and so huge and metaphorical, and such a radical departure from any stereotype that stories usually rely on for heroes like Dean, that Dean becomes something else altogether. he’s a unique being not only in his own universe, but in ours. it’s. whew. it really is the beginning and the end of everything.

also celebrate George Floyd’s life. he was truly a beautiful, kind, and caring individual. i wish his family so much healing and that they get the justice they deserve.

BEFORE PROCEEDING :   this the final stage. please be certain of your answers. there will be no retaking.

           if you have not yet completed stages I and II, you may find them here and here.

                                                                CLICK HERE TO BEGIN FINALIZATION.

i know everybody is excited about potential victor/benji scenes, but i also hope we get to see more romantic interests between other characters of color. especially the queer ones.

Keiynan Lonsdale as Bram Greenfeld in Love, Simon (2018) dir. Greg Berlanti

My last say on this matter. Mackie was talking about the way white fans fetish Sam Wilson and his relationship with Bucky. The way you all go amd write fan five on how Sam is some magical negro only there to comfort Bucky and to fuck him into the mattress is fetish and explosive. The way you all ever write Sam as this manly man top who has a high sex drive is exploitive. Mackie is talking about how straight and lgbtq black people can never deviate from a certain stereotype without being fetishes. Mackie is talking about how black men were called gay as a slur because they showed feelings. Mackie is talking about how he wants to break the norms that not just gay men can be sensitive and caring to male companions.

White lgbtq/striaght who are mad will never understand what it is like to be a black person who can only ever show one emotion and get judged if the deviate from it. Mackie so clearly wants gay men to have representation but knows that his relationship with bucky and Sebastian is not the representation he is giving.

White fans who are angry need to step back and ask why your so quick to demonize a black man who is trying to break down toxic masculinity in black culture

Manny Jacinto photographed by Jonny Marlow for Flaunt Magazine.

For the New Yorker, “In Station Eleven, All Art is Adaptation”

     —   ⁺  𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐎  ,  1979  [ #220 GIFS ]  THE SILENT SEA  /  gong yoo is korean, please cast accordingly and use appropriately. all of the gifs have been created from scratch by me. to access the gifs please click the source link. do not edit, claim as your own or add into your own hunts! time and effort were spent into making these gifs, a like or a reblog would be much appreciated!

cause of death: boredom