When Your Moral Compass Friend Is Dead

Gojo "Touch Starved" Satoru

i was recently diagnosed with OCD, and we seriously need to change the way we talk about the disorder. the average time between onset of OCD symptoms and beginning to receive treatment is over a decade, and i suspect at least part of the reason why is the way we talk about OCD societally, or rather the way we dont talk about it.

no, OCD isn't the "clean freak" disorder. you dont have to check that your door is locked 17 times in order to have OCD. the actual symptoms of OCD are as varied as any other disorder, but it seems that only the most palatable or easily digestible symptoms get talked about regularly.

no one wants to talk about mental compulsions (ex: ruminating on past and potential future situations with "what ifs"), and how they can be even more severe or disruptive than visible ones.

no one wants to talk about the extremely distressing intrusive thoughts that can happen, let alone the fact that intrusive thoughts dont start and stop with violence. yes, this includes bigotry and pedophilia, and no, people with these thoughts are not bigots or pedophiles. intrusive thoughts play on your fears, not who you actually are.

the reason no one with OCD is talking about their symptoms and experiences is because we're demonized for having them and harassed for expressing them, and that shit is unacceptable. we fucking deserve safe places to discuss our symptoms without fear of it being misconstrued and used against us (or just straight up being verbally assaulted, or worse). thought crime isnt fucking real. your thoughts do not make you a good or bad person, your actions do.

Girlboy with a he/him pin on one sleeve and a she/her pin on the other. Two people sitting on either side of her aggressively correcting each other on his pronouns

everlasting love

executive dysfunction is legitimately physically uncomfortable. i’ll be trapped between two things, weirdly caught on how-much-time-it-might-take-me. i take hours worried im going to take hours doing things. i’ll sit on the floor for the entire day, caught up in the middle of not-doing the chores i actually do want to be doing.

& the amount of mental energy that goes into it. & the legitimate amount of anger and discomfort and self-hate. is not “being lazy”.  it’d be a lot less work if i didn’t have to fight myself to just get up and do it. 

i just need you to understand it’s not effortless. it’s never effortless. it’s not “okay let me just get up and finally start doing this.” it’s more like. i am slamming my foot on the pedal but the car is in neutral and nothing is moving. it’s more like shouting instructions into a dying telephone. it’s more like being trapped in a small electric box, and someone who hates me is administering shocks. 

im trying. im trying. please help me get up.

Like to play! Also running on my twt!

I never told you what i do for a living

Duos giving traumatised x ✨️traumatised✨️

How it really went❤️❤️💕💕

blue jjk doodles !!!