Tatemcallisterr-blog

You’re irrationally angry 365 days a year, Nick.

I’ve lost too many people and too much faith to give a fuck.

Hedonist Poet (via hedonistpoet)

Tate McAllister moodboard 001

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” - Norman Cousins

beautifulburnout:

Jonny hands tucked into his pockets and he hummed in thought. He could see the tiredness in Tate’s eyes and when it came to munchies Jonny wasn’t choosy away. He just gave a grin and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah man, I’m good with pizza. And if that’s not enough I’m sure I have enough junk in the house to get us by.” He took a couple steps and paused. “Don’t worry it’s a short walk.” After a couple short blocks they arrived at Jonny’s (and Pono’s) place and he pushed in through the gate rather than using the front door. The backyard was huge. The soft bubbling of the pond seemed to erase all outside sound. It was surrounded in plants, there was a turtle enjoying a leafy veggie and a dog sunning himself on the deck. He hopped up and ran towards them on three legs and came to sniff at Tate’s feet. “We can chill on the deck. What do you like on your pizza by the way?”

Tate nodded in response to Jonny, staying silent the rest of the way to his place. He was tired and he really wanted to sleep, but he knew that even if he tried a nap wouldn’t last long. He had given up on naps a while ago. When they arrived and went into the backyard, Tate could already feel himself relax a bit due to the surroundings. He had only been in the backyard a handful of times, but it only took one time to understand why Jonny and Pono liked it there so much. It was tranquil and quiet compared to the rest of Vegas. In fact, it felt like he had left Vegas and gone to a peaceful island somewhere. When he was greeted by Jonny’s tripod dog, a small smile formed on his face and he reached down to let him sniff his hand before scratching the top of his head. Tate nodded when Jonny spoke up again and started towards the deck, thinking for a moment before he responded. “Honestly, I’ll eat anything. But it’s the best when there’s a lot of cheese. So a lot of cheese and whatever you want, man. I’m not picky when it comes to pizza.” He replied with a shrug before taking a seat on one of the chairs on the deck, letting out a soft sigh.

violence (vi·o·lence) behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something   see also: savagery, cruelty, sadism   they raised me they made me good at it   they didn’t expect me to like it   they’re afraid of me now and i can’t turn it off   maybe it’s better this way

sometimes i believe that if i’m not angry, i won’t be anything at all (via mymouthisfullofstars)

beautifulburnout:

The fact that Tate was having a hard time lately wasn’t news to Jonny, but it was still hard to see his friend like this. He knew that he was lost right now, a feeling Jonny knew all too well. He didn’t totally understand what Tate was going through but at least he could be here for him. Maybe even bring a spark back to him, even if it did involve annoying him slightly.Jonny finished the toast and folded his hands on the table as he looked across at Tate. He could see how warn he was and he had to wonder when he last got a good night of sleep. “Yeah I guess not.” He didn’t want to mention how it looked like Tate could use a good meal because he knew that this could be a delicate situation but he did want to encourage him to eat something. “I know something that would make you hungry, “he gave the man across from him a little smirk as he took a sip of the hot coffee brought to him. He shrugged at Tate’s comment, not at all concerned about himself. “Yeah insomnia is a bitch but it ain’t nothing new for me…” He set the coffee down and grabbed about 8 sugar packets and started dumping them in one by one. “I could say the same about you though. Get up early not to eat?”

A full night’s sleep was something Tate couldn’t even remember. Whether he was jolted awake by his dreams or he just had incredible insomnia, five or six hours was considered a good night’s sleep in his eyes. He had a feeling that next time he went to see his doctor for a checkup she would have something to say about his current state. He was also sure that Jonny had a few things he wanted to say to him about how he looked, but he wouldn’t actually say them. Part of him was glad for that and the other part of him was annoyed that not only Jonny, but most of his friends were treating him so delicately. But honestly he didn’t want to hear them lecture him on what he needed to do anyways, so he should really be grateful. Tate took another sip of his coffee, holding the warm cup in his hands. Arching his brow at Jonny’s statement he could only imagine what that meant. “Yeah? What is it?” He asked, genuinely curious about what he had in mind. Shaking his head as he watched Jonny pour an endless amount of sugar into his coffee he held back a snide comment about the ratio of sugar to coffee in his cup. Letting out a soft sight he shrugged. “I just couldn’t sleep. Which is a pretty normal thing for me these days.”