Of All The "Answers" To The Fermi Paradox, I Think The One That Fills Me With The Most Sorrow Is The

not dead yet

the way i enjoy baseball isn't that unusual in the age of short attention spans i guess, but i rarely think about a game as a holistic nine innings. i love the individual moments, like wow! vientos got a grand slam, or awww! i get to hear "my girl" again as lindor comes up. even something like, great job! you struck out ohtani, i'm into that. it's why it never bothered me whether the mets won or lost. (there's probably someone out there calling it a "coping strategy").

all of my favourite parts about baseball that tie these moments together, like warm days at the ballpark or GKR on the call, are not available right now. the commentators on fox are, to be generous, jackasses, it's october in new york so it's getting cold, and the ballpark isn't the relaxed experience of the regular season. even my husband, the more traditional sports fan, gets visibly (albeit temporarily) upset when things go awry.

but there's still hope in the city. i talked to some strangers mets fans on the subway yesterday, something that really only happens when the vibes are good. and while the coverage depicts hoards of folks leaving citi field early, i see my husband, my friends and neighbours who are there staying until the very end, because that's what it means to show support.

the mets aren't dead yet and i will not quit on them. i didn't quit at those games i was at when they were 0 - 5, and i won't quit now.

(i will listen to the radio coverage again tonight though because i just can not with fox anymore, i think i'd hate baseball if that was how it was all the time.)

Calling all 27 other regular Layla Ku listeners. She’s removed her music from Spotify does anyone know anything about it or have it saved anywhere?

Safe deposit lockers manufactured during 1840. One of the engineering marvel of our ancestors. Great !

i made a pillbug out of sticks at the park

blaming pbpsbffs for this but what’s new.

peter parker who has never been able to enjoy a hobby for more than a few days without pouring himself into it completely because he cannot afford to be anything but amazing at it, enjoying something while being mediocre at it is out of the question— it’s either beyond exceptional or nothing.

he pours himself into whatever hobby catches his interest and keeps it from the people around him until he’s confident in his abilities, may found out he loved knitting three months after peter had gotten into it, his love for photography was a well hidden secret for years and he still refuses to show anyone his work unless it’s perfect.

peter parker who is terrified of being seen as mediocre, who has panic attacks at the thought of failure and obsesses over perfection. he resented tony for discovering spider-man before peter had reached whatever level of perfection he had hoped for, peter who considers every injury a failure and takes any bit of criticism to heart !!

peter parker who disassociates after tony takes the suit away, his body on autopilot working on a thousand different ways to make things better to prove he’s not completely incompetent. getting home safe doesn’t matter anymore, no amount of pain could be considered too much if it meant being seen as perfect again— what’s a building or two if it meant tony wouldn’t think of him as a failure?

peter parker who has never fully enjoyed himself in his classes or during the internship, who is overcome with anxiety before he even approaches a potential interest— who looks over the syllabus and starts teaching it to himself before his classes even start, who refuses to be seen as a student or child.

name the song in 5 seconds competition but it’s all the ink spots

House of Leaves is great, but taken as a book entire it really is an unparalleled source of exposure therapy for ‘should of’ instead of ‘should’ve’ (and the other variants thereof).

i can't fucking shut up about the man that people are starting to call "The Claims Adjuster" because he not only shot that evil fucker but:

wrote deny defend depose on the bullets in sharpie

deliberately left behind a backpack in central park full of fucking monopoly money

and the cherry on top (so far) is that he potentially used a gun that was designed for veterinarians to put down sick animals

its art, its amazing, this is the best thing thats happened in like 10 years and he is my hero. Everything has felt so bleak and this is like a ray of light shining through the dark clouds into my soul

may they never catch him, and may we never find out who he was

the beatles invented sex the rolling stones figured out you could do it with women

The Dodgers may have won the pennant, but the Mets have won my heart.

It’s only been a couple of weeks since I saw a clip of Ohtani’s HR/SB record and then the Polar Bear’s homer to claim the wild card spot in the NLDS but I feel like I’ve been a fan of this team for years.

In a way I think it’s poetic that the player that got me thinking about baseball in the first place was the player to knock out the team I immediately latched on to.

So, while it was a rollercoaster ride through the Phillies series into a 2-4 loss in the NLCS, I’m so proud of what the Mets achieved this year and where they got to considering where they started.

I may not even know when the baseball season starts up again, but I’m going to be there cheering for the Mets whenever it does.