BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER (1999) Dir. JAMIE BABBIT

April

by Mary Oliver

I wanted to speak at length about the happiness of my body and the delight of my mind for it was April, a night, a full moon and --

but something in myself or maybe from somewhere other said: not too many words, please, in the muddy shallows the

Frogs are singing.

Jane Austen also wrote "The Beautifull Cassandra" in her youth, just as Lucie writes "The Beautiful Cordelia" as a teenager.

hmm, is the title "The Beautiful Cordelia" a nod to Jane Austen's "The Beautifull Cassandra"

“In the dream there had always been a pause in which he had looked up and said, “Next time you go away, I’m going with you”; and Ralph, who hadn’t had a first name in those days, had looked down all the same and answered, “Of course.””

how does matthew somehow think James will forgive him for this, how did he just leave his family the day his brother almost died, how-??? i know this whole thing will be put on the 'bracelet blinding james' but even without that, "hey I love you run away with me from your husband, who's supposed to be as close as a brother to me" is-- ???? how is this not obviously a total betrayal, even if he thinks James is with Grace

Get to know me meme

tagged by @rottenlaertes! thank you!

do you make your bed? sometimes yes, sometimes no

what’s your favourite number? Four!

what is your job? I graduated college and don’t have one yet

if you could go back to school would you? yes, i really liked school and i kinda miss the routine and structure of it

can you parallel park? no, i can’t at all

a job you had that would surprise people? all of my old jobs were terribly predictable actually so i can’t answer this

do you think aliens are real? yes, i think it’s very improbable that we’re the only ones in the entire universe but i don’t think our conception of them might be very accurate what with the green skin and huge eyes etc

can you drive a manual car? no, i can't

what’s your guilty pleasure? i can’t think of one because if i ever feel this way, i try to ignore it until it goes away bc it kinda makes me feel bad to feel this way about other people's work

tattoos? no, but I’d like to get some! I bounce around between ideas but whatever i think of is always small and has some religious value.

favourite colour? I really like green and red (specifically 'wine-dark’)

favourite type of music? I don’t have one but I think I listen to pop music mostly

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done a puzzle in years, so the answer here will also be I don’t know, sorry lol

any phobias? bugs and heights

favourite childhood sport? i liked playing badminton growing up

do you talk to yourself? i do, i like to read out loud and reiterate the ideas behind what i’ve read so through hearing i can understand more, especially with texts that are really convoluted. and this might be a little weird but if i get really excited about a book i start talking to it like the character can hear me (when i was reading the charioteer, i actually audibly said: ‘laurie we are not going to do this please stop’ during the adrian scene and ‘wait, what happened, tell me what happened’ when i realised the ellipses were concealing something in chapter two lol)

what movie(s) do you adore? I’m not a big movie person, but fellowship of the ring is the perfect nostalgic summer afternoon movie for me

coffee or tea? coffee!

first thing you wanted to be growing up? I’ve always wanted to be a writer!

I have no idea who to tag! but if you guys would like @nurseadriansbrother, @argyleheir I'd love to read your responses (and i'm sorry if you've already been tagged in this and i'm bothering you with it again) and ofc anyone else who wants to!

Gustave Caillebotte (French, 1848-1894), Le Petit bras de la Seine à Argenteuil, c.1890. Oil on canvas, 81 x 62.3 cm.

At the end of The Charioteer, Laurie lies to Ralph but feels the lie as if it's true. There's something that must be done, and only he can do it. He accepts this, even if he lies in order to achieve it.

Before, Ralph told Laurie he hates to stand by watching while there's pain or the possibility of it, and do nothing. It's not the way he's made, he says. This is a direct contrast to Andrew, who we see literally standing, watching and doing nothing when caring for Charlot. This is not because Andrew is unkind, it is because there is right and wrong and nothing whatever in between. Ralph is not like this: people need someone, he takes on that responsibility, even if it isn't his to shoulder. He acts like God, they say. He's the opposite of Andrew in this regard. Maybe the point is that Laurie isn't like Andrew either, although he loves him. It's also not in his nature to stand and watch people suffer; this is why he felt something ought to be done in school when Ralph was being kicked out, and why he feels it at the end of the book when he realizes what Ralph is planning to do. It's why he feels the pressing demand to deceive Charlot even as he knows that, in his right mind, the man would never want it. I got the sense the first time I read the book and now the second, that Laurie is much more generally suited to Ralph, and this is why.

I don't know if this makes sense, I've not gotten much sleep. Any thoughts? Do you think this is right, wrong? Am I overthinking it?

I agree but Alastair probably would've just gone over there and tried to murder James lol

Cordelia should have gone to Alastair not Matthew. She could've spilled all the beans and he probably would have taken a more logical approach than immediately leaving for Paris without telling anyone!!!