This Isn’t How It Happened With Us. My Wife Never Cheated On Me And I Don’t Expect She Ever Had A

This isn’t how it happened with us. My wife never cheated on me and I don’t expect she ever had a desire too. It was a fantasy though that I shared with her early on. At this stage and typing it out it kind of felt fucked up. She knew it. Behind my back I would have anger, feel cheated and deceit. All those heavy emotions, I still knew it turned me on, she could hurt me over and over again, I would get mad than turned on and would never want to leave her. 

I believe communicating with her was the best route. A healthy way to play out my fantasies without the  deceit. Open and honest. I like to use the word Cuckold, really we are in an open relationship. To her desire I am happily monogamous. To my desire she can happily be non-monogamous.