A Glass That Pushes Cat Off Of Counters

a few days ago a coworker asked me to explain Hanukkah and I asked her if she knew what a menorah was. She said, “like the Northern Lights?”

I’m simultaneously haunted by and wild about this concept now. instead of aurora borealis, menorah borealis. menorah borealis

My body is so needy, like madam I just fed you like 7 hours ago and now you want more food??? Unreal

Thank you for your contributions to society... oh wait! You have done nothing! In fact you have probably made the earth a worse place. Congratulations!

Knowing for a fact I made at least a few million folk in this world smile is good enough for me <3

Gonna post this thing from comments because it’s too beautiful 😭🙏🏻

a man takes off his kippah to reveal another, smaller kippah

It amuses me just how unhinged Merlin is as Dragoon, he gives zero shits and fears no god and it shows. Sassy boy becomes an even sassier old man and roasts people with the confidence of a youtube commenter who knows they have the benefit of anonymity

*Arthur and Merlin sneeking around the castle at night* uh yeah we’re doing.........poetry

Leon: uhhh ok...I’ll leave you to your...poetry... *leaves*

Arthur to Merlin: YOU DUMB FUCK NOW HE THINKS I LIKE POETRY

Meanwhile...

Leon to Gwaine, Percy, Elian, Gwen, and Mordred: yeah they’re definitely fucking

*Elian hands money to Gwen*

Everyone agrees that if Merlin and Arthur were together, the entire kingdom would know and everyone would be chill with it, and I have no problem with Merthur (I mean have you seen the way they look at each other), HOWEVER I do think it would be a million times funnier if everyone assumed they were together (because Merlin totally gets mistress treatment) and they actually weren’t. I just think that would be really, really funny.

Masterpost of TLT metas

This is mostly for my own reference, as tagging doesn't seem to guarantee something being findable on Tumblr...but if you like wildly overthinking lesbian necromancers in space, enjoy!

Overthinking the Fifth House:

What is a "Speaker to the Dead"?

Actually, Magnus Quinn isn't terrible at sword fighting

Imperial complicity: Abigail the First

Pyschopomp: Abigail Pent and Hecate

Did Teacher conspire with Cytherea to kill the Fifth?

What does the Fifth House actually do?

The Fourth and the Fifth can never just be family

Cytherea's political observations at the anniversary dinner

Abigail Pent's affect: ghosts and autism

Were the Fourth wards of the Fifth?

Abigail probably knew most of the scions as children

Magnus Quinn's very understandable anger

Fifth House necromancy is not neat and tidy

Are Abigail and Magnus an exception to the exploitative nature of cavaliership?

"Abigail Pent literally brought her husband and look where that got her" (the Fifth in TUG)

The Fifth's relationship dynamic

The Fifth's relationship is unconventional in a number of ways

The queer-coding of Abigail and Magnus' relationship

Abigail and Palamedes, and knowing in the River

Was Isaac the ward of the Fifth?

Did Magnus manage to draw his sword before Cytherea killed him? (and why he probably had to watch his wife die)

How did Abigail know she was murdered by a Lyctor?

Fifth House necromancy is straight out of the Odyssey

The politics of the anniversary dinner (and further thoughts)

Was Magnus born outside of the Dominicus system?

Overthinking John Gaius:

The one time John was happy was playing Jesus

Is Alecto's body made from John's?

Are there atheists in the Nine Houses?

Why isn't John's daughter a necromancer?

The horrors of love go both ways: why John could have asked Alecto 'what have you done to me?'

Why M- may have really hoped John was on drugs

What is it with guys called Jo(h)n and getting disintegrated? (John and Dr Manhattan)

John's conference call with his CIA handlers

Watching your friend turn into an eldritch horror

Why does G1deon look so weird? (Jod regrew him from an arm)

When is a friendship bracelet not a friendship bracelet?

Why did John have G1deon hunt Harrow? (with bonus update)

The 'indelible' sin of Lyctorhood and John's shoddy plagiarism of Catholicism

Are John Gaius and Abigail Pent so different?

What was Jod's plan at Canaan House?

John and Ianthe tread the Eightfold path

The Mithraeum is more than a joke about cows

When was John Gaius born? (And another)

John Gaius and the tragic Orestes

John and Jesus writing sins in the sand

John and Nona's echoing chapters

John's motivations

Is Alecto just as guilty as John?

John's cult (and what he might have done to them)

The horror of Jod

Did John get bloodsweat before he became god?

Some very silly thoughts about John and Abigail arguing about academia

Overthinking the Nine Houses:

'No retainers, no attendants, no domestics'

Funerary customs and the violence of John's silence

Juno Zeta and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time

The horror of the River bubble

Every instance of 'is this how it happens' in HTN

Feudalism is still shitty even if you make it queer and sex positive

How do stele work?

Thought crime in the Nine Houses

The Houses have a population the size of Canada

What must it be like to fight the Houses?

You know what can't have been fun? Merv wing's megatruck on Varun day...

Augustine's very Catholic hobby (decorating skeletons)

Necromancers are not thin in a conventionally attractive way

Matching the Houses with the planets of the solar system (though perhaps the Fourth *is* on Saturn)

Why don't the Nine Houses have (consistent) vaccination or varifocals?

How would the Houses react to the deaths at Canaan House?

How does Wake understand her own name (languages over 10,000 years)

What pre-resurrection texts are known in the Houses?

Camilla and Palamedes very Platonic relationship (further thoughts)

The horrors the Cohort found at Canaan House

Do the Houses understand the tech keeping them alive?

The scions from an external perspective (sci fi baddies)

Cav cots

The Nine Houses and feudalism

The horrors of early necromantic education

“When everyone knows you’re a monster...” (Six of Crows Series Spoilers)

I need to just express my appreciation for the Six of Crows duology and it’s ending. Not only does the hero’s story begin and end with plague, one of which controls him and the other controlled by him, not just that. His motif, his insistence that he’s a monster. The story told by the two books starts and ends with Kaz employing the same tactic to win: when everyone knows you’re a monster, you don’t have to do every monstrous thing. He’s done some horrific stuff over the course of the books, and we, the readers, start to get comfortable with him, to understand his backstory, even excuse his behavior. It isn’t until the end of the second book that we are confronted with the idea that Kaz may be beyond saving, and not until later do we find out that yes, he is human, yes, he is worth saving. AND, his story begins and ends with an innocent little boy on the brink of death for a crime he didn’t commit, and the choice Kaz makes to spare him, so the cycle of hardening children ends with him. Anyway, the parallels in just his story are amazing, so they needed a rant. I’m sure more will follow.