I Promise I Will Draw Tyler Someday Once I Learn How To Actually Draw Him That Is Just This:

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Hi my name is Narrator Soaps'hip Psychoboy Ikea Way and I narrate the story (that's how I got my name) I have brown hair and insomnia and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Tyler Durden (if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!).

i love Daredevil bc they always talk about Hell’s Kitchen like it’s its own city. Like girl you’re protecting 10 blocks. “Get out of Hell’s Kitchen” Yeah lemme hop on the subway rq it will take me one stop

the usa is leaving me to die slowly and painfully because i am poor please god rb this dont just like and scroll

i'm on a medication that is barely helping and i'm still having seizures almost every other day. finally had a grand mal the other day and i'm still hurting from it.

i don't have health insurance but i have to see a neurologist otherwise my condition is going to continue to deteriorate until it kills me if nothing is done

please. please it's alot but if 500 people send 10 bucks that meets our goal. anything at all helps. im begging for my life here it has to happen. i'm scared of going to sleep & i can barely do anything anymore even if i want to this is a fucking shitty way to go im only 24

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if I see one more “straight people on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum don’t count” I will personally light shit on fire

If you’re heterosexual and aromantic, you’re valid. If you’re asexual and heteroromantic, fuck yeah, you’re valid too. You belong here, in LGBTQIA+ spaces, and I love and accept you here. You belong at the pride parade, you belong in the LGBTQIA+ clubs at your school or university, and you belong in the LGBTQIA+ community.

We love you. You belong. anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves.

part of my 48 part series "Fixin it With Soos: World Wide Win-ternet Edition"

Say it with me:

cis heterosexual aros are still queer

cis heterosexual aros are still queer

cis heterosexual aros are still queer

cis heterosexual aros are still queer!

me and @a-forsteri were talking about how the narrator like, desperately wants someone to tell him his life is fucked up, what he does is fucked up, he desperately wants someone to respond with the gravity he desires.

Like, he tells these people on the plane what he does. Trying to fuck with them. Desperately hoping!! One of them will go: holy shit!!! That's really fucked up how do you live with that!!! But all he gets is people thinking he's the freak and just asking what car company he works for. Because it is easier to pretend he himself is the problem, maybe just his company, rather than actually face and recognize the systemic, widespread nature of what he's saying.

It leans together with his sense of where he is in his office, too. He feels separate from all these people. They feel fake. They feel like people going on as normal even though they're all working to hasten the apocalypse, and no one acknowledges it! They're all perfectly happy to turn a blind eye to any of the distant consequences of their actions. That is what their jobs are for. Keep them up in the cubicles, nicely fed and watered with inflated salaries, and then they'll have no issue with the distant sense that they may be contributing to a corrupt system. They can't change the system, but they need to feed their kids, so hell, just don't think about it too much.

But he doesn't have that option. He is the one who actually does go out into the field and he sees the direct result of all of their collective actions, but especially his. Every crash related to a faulty part he sees is because someone like him before him, or him himself, ran the formula and let this happen. He has no choice but to see the very real result of his actions.

And he feels INSANE over it. Because he returns to the office and it's just numbers. Applying the formula. Hearing your coworkers chat about a potluck. You're not contributing to a horrific system, you ARE the horrific system, and it's like you're the only one who sees that. He literally cannot sleep over it.

And when you tell people about it, they try to minimize it. To your company, to you. Because that is easier than acknowledging just how many things have to be corrupt and uncaring of human life to allow this to be the case. It's too much. Stick your head in the sand.

He desperarely wants someone to scream at him: how could you do that? How could anyone do that? Why is this allowed to happen? Doesn't anyone see something wrong here?

He imagines his plane crashing. Free him from this. The burden of every piece of normality manufactured for satiating any thought and discomfort he has about his job. It's all petty, pointless fluff. It's putting some artificial grass on the feedlot. Why does everything and everyone say it's all worth it for this garbage?

He wants someone to tell him all this. He doesn't want to be alone. He already feels catastrophically alone. In his life, whenever he talks about this, whenever he does anything. He loves the support groups because you're allowed to have abject misery there. You rejoice in it. Everyone's life is falling apart and ending and nothing means anything good ever. They're all honest about it, too. He plays coy when he talks about his job, but these people, everyone knows they're falling apart, and it's recognized and treated as the horror it is. This is freedom. Hitting bottom is freedom.

But he's supposed to be happy, because he's got his cushy little IKEA nest. It is only when people think he also has cancer and parasites causing his deep dissociation from his own life and general aura of resentment and misery that it's treated as something that isn't just... an individual flaw. Because it's easier for there to be something wrong with him than for that thing wrong with him to be how society makes him be this way. Rewards him for it.

So he invents someone. Tyler. To stop his little dance. To interrupt him. Drag him away and tell him all those little sundries are meaningless. Like he knows. But now he has someone saying it's true. The world IS falling apart. Everything is fucked up. It's everything he knows and has been too cowardly to say and now he finally has someone to say it for him and push to make some changes in his life. To expect him to actually do something. To feel his rage for him. And it's a catch-22, because a large part of what he hates about himself is that he's too cowardly and noncommittal to just do this all on his own.

we all must get weirder and more queer. i am completely serious and genuine and this is urgent. please get weirder and gayer now. if you see me acting weird and gay mind your business a little bit.

as much as i love writing about soapshipping and making tyler a real person, ill always love the idea of tyler still being like. not real? in fanfics.

idk i just think it’s beautiful and slightly melancholic and slightly sexy that narrator conjured up the man he wants to be and then fell in love with him because like. that person in his head is only his because no one knows that he exists as a person separate to him in his head? that’s just.

mm.