There’s A War Between Sucking And Fucking

giving u $5 in exchange for the promise of a tbh who says sth like "i promise i am eating a real meal" (so that i can send it to friends who r worried about my eating habits lol)

FEED

REBLOG this post to INSTANTLY make 1 of your mutuals at random CUM

also literally fucked a man so hard yesterday that today i found pieces of my bed on the floor

Me n the girls sitting upon the shattered corpse of a false god

Call me a communist the way I want to be publicly owned.

military recruiter: so what got you guys interested in the marine corps

enormous horde of hagfish, ispods and bottom-feeding crustaceans: oh. uh. is that how you pronounce it

what if meijack (mayjack?), like her father, is weak for blondes

also a little farcille:

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together.

It’s Einstein’s turn to count, and he closes his eyes. After counting to 10, Pascal runs away and hides.

Newton, on the other hand, very calmly draws a square on the ground, 1 meter on each side, in front of the place that Einstein counted, and goes to the middle of it and starts to wait.

When Einstein reaches 10, he opens his eyes and immediately says, “Newton, I found you!!” he shouts.

Newton smiles and says calmly: “You didn’t find me, you found Newton per square meter. So you found Pascal.”

these new tumblr features are getting out of hand…..

I found this quiz that tells you what gender role you fulfill and it kinda smacks lol