My Sister Is Doing Pet Play With Women On Roblox And I Don’t Have The Heart To Tell Her It’s Probably

I feel like one of my friends could do this really well.

Reblog this if you want a slightly ominous compliment in your inbox

Oh No.

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

You are trapped in an elevator with the person on your lockscreen. Who is it?

Reblog with who you get stuck with~

Call me a communist the way I want to be publicly owned.

What they don't want you to know about gay sex is that you don't even have to stick anything in a hole. You can have gay sex just grinding on each other's thighs while you give your partner hickies.

This applies to t4t, too.

fascinatingly intimate moment between me and my lesbian dental hygienist today when i asked for a glass of water sitting up in the chair before any of the cleaning or work had even started and she went "oh here this is quicker" and held my mouth open and put the little hose in and had me just keep swallowing the little trickle of water from that for a few moments. eye contact the whole time

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together.

It’s Einstein’s turn to count, and he closes his eyes. After counting to 10, Pascal runs away and hides.

Newton, on the other hand, very calmly draws a square on the ground, 1 meter on each side, in front of the place that Einstein counted, and goes to the middle of it and starts to wait.

When Einstein reaches 10, he opens his eyes and immediately says, “Newton, I found you!!” he shouts.

Newton smiles and says calmly: “You didn’t find me, you found Newton per square meter. So you found Pascal.”

"Let me get this straight. You thought that I was just... Coincidentally avoiding your murder attempts?"

"Um. Yeah. Does this mean I'm a bad friend?"

"No! I mean, no. For a demon you're remarkably concerned about properly fulfilling the deal."

"W-well, if I don't fulfill the deal, I can't take your soul."

"..."

"..."

"Why'd you stop?"

"Huh?"

"Why'd you stop trying to kill me? One of them was bound to pan out. The sigil one was really clever."

"I just... I want to maximize the souls I damn before I go back."

"Mhm. Is that it?"

"I... I don't know, okay? I just feel weird killing you. It doesn't help that I need to fulfill the contract."

"If it helps, even with the murder attempts, you're the best friend I've ever had."

I've survived my first day on Tumblr

Achievements:

Don't shoot! I'm friendly!: Prove you're not a bot

AI dismemberment: Disable algorithm settings

Friends?: Gained a mutual

I recognize you: Follow someone you know from r/Tumblr

MY EYES!: Change the site palette

Great Idea: Reblog a post

They love me: Have a post reblogged