Latest Posts by the-waffle-monster - Page 2

Birds... frogs... the stream in the distance... the wind in the trees... Damn it!

I opened my eyes and stood up again.

I looked at the sky, it was the first time I had done that all day. The sun is setting... lets see, two hares... had one in the morning, some berries too... guess I don't have much of a choice... either one risk, or the other... but which is the safer bet?

With every step I took I felt my energy being drained. I had to eat something, now. Even if it wasn't enough. I went back to the beck, took with me some branches on the way to make a fire.

I skinned and gutted the hares. Threw the rests into the forest on the other side of the stream. Something would surely come to eat that, but I wouldn't want that over here.

I fastened the hares to each their stick, and set both by the fire. Washed my hands in the water, drank some, and laid down besides the fire.

What should I do? I can either take the risk of hunting at night, or take the risk of sleeping while hungry and drained of strength. After having some food I should be able to get up on a tree, if I find one, but what if he... IT thinks of any shenanigans in the meantime.

Yøû kñöw Ï cån hær yôú?

… Shut up.

Yòú... Yôü... Yøµ...

I-I-I What?

He snarled at me. Didn't hear much more from him after that.

I laid on my side, watching the hares by the fire, the fire itself, how the flames danced their warm, but destructive dance on the wood...

Sleep... or Hunt?

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I went back to the stream to wash off my blood and see how big the wound really was. It cost some time and energy but I'd rather check on that and maybe fix it somehow than leave a blood trail after me. Who knows what or who might sniff me up thanks to that.

The holes in my hand weren't that big, he did bite me two times so naturally there were four, two on the back of my hand, two inside of it. There wasn't much blood running from them tho, the bleeding had been worst in the beginning.

I tried moving my hand around a bit, into different positions I could think of that I'm using while hunting. But there was nothing that really caused much more bleeding than when I relaxed the hand.

A bit more when drawing my bow but I guess I had just to be a bit more selective with my prey, and more accurate with my shots.

I went on, looking for any kind of tracks of animals, focusing on my senses to hear if there's anything nearby. I found another hare, but this time I managed to sneak up and get it with my bow. Hit right in the head, quite a lucky shot I had there.

Guess that means one more to go, and then I'll eat something. My stomach growled Yeah I know it's time, I know that I'm tearing at my reserves, just gimme a bit more time

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I gently stroked through its fur “I thank you, Brother. May your spirit pass on, while your body feeds me”

Yøû ssërióùssly köntinûé wïz zât? Cøme oñ, $hê åïnt 'røùnd nømôre. Jüst kîll ít ænd bê dönê wïz ít.

I held the rabbit up at its hind legs, took a club lying nearby, and hit it in the back of the head. I tried poking an eye, to see if its really dead.

It was.

I fastened it to my belt, and continued.

Did you want anything?

Why ærê yøu sstïll dôiñg zåt? Shæ âiñt 'røûnd tö nôtïce íf yøù dön't.

What does it matter if Ingrid is 'round? She introduced me to it, but I don't do it for her. I do it to show some respect to my prey, to thank it for giving me its body, its flesh. But why do I bother to tell you, it's not like you'd listen anyway.

Büt zêræ ï$ nø ssëñssê în døing zåt, ïts nôt åwæ-

How would you know that? Can you tell? If you can, tell me how

Î... Ï... Åh fück yøû hümâñss ånd yøûr ëmótìónàl sstüff! $sînk mørë rrråtiønæl, lësss êmøtiônål. Yöúr kìnd îs zë ønly ånimæl zât døe$s zæt, zê ønly kînd zæt ssínks êmøti-

Again, how do you know? How can you be so sure?

Didn't hear any more from him after that. Did I corner him? Interesting, doesn't happen very often.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I went on. Waited again after a while.

Frogs... not edib... or are they? Anyway, would take- my head turned in reflex ... in the bushes... irregular... not the wind... no waiting this time.

I went into the direction where the sound came from without hesitating. On hands and feet, was easier to be silent that way.

From here... it must've been round here somewh- suddenly there was no ground beneath where I wanted to place my hand, I fell, hit my face on the ground

Ouch... What's this? A hole... rabbit hole maybe... wanna take the chance...? Yeah, should.

I stuck my hand in the hole, all the way up to my shoulder must be something inside, that rushling could have been from a rabbit, and it could hav-

“AAH!! Fucking Hell!”

I quickly pulled out my hand Great, it bit me... at least I now know that there's something inside

“I'll repay you for this, asshat!!”

I stuck my bleeding hand into the hole again, but only up to my elbow. Ok, touch, only touch... I focused for a moment, luckily didn't get attacked again

Come on! Bite me again! I dare you!

I sat there for a while. Stood still in that position, on my knees, one hand on the ground and the other in a rabbit hole. Could see it in my head.

Away with that, focus!

...for how long have I been waiting for this rabbit now? Fuck I know. Feels like an eternity, could've been only a few mo- ...mrrrm!! gotcha!!

I pulled it out of it's hole “Ha, didn't think I'd snatch ya when you bite me again?”

Ze grræt hûntérr, tålkïn tø ä rræbbît

What is it you want now?!

Øh, nûfín, jùs$t cømmêntïng ón zë h@ppênîng, måybæ dîsstråct yøu å bít ssø tìmé pässêss by, yøû knöw, zê üsµâl

O-no! I won't join in on your games now, go talk to yourself or somethin'

Ha ha ha haa fûnny... fïnê, håvé fûn Mï$stêrr Rræbbît Ss$nætch€rr

I was back with the rabbit in my hand, holding it at eyes height, my blood all over it.

“Sorry I called you asshat, but it was in the heat of the moment, and you bit me”

The rabbit just continued staring at me well what did I expect to happen? It going all like 'yeah totally understand that man, hope I taste good'

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

Kinda sorry for this long episode... or rather for leaving out one on Tuesday. Had no way of getting' to my PC so I couldn't write anything, hope you understand ^_^

Anyway, thanks for following, thanks for reading and a good weekend to all of you. Especially you :D

I looked around for a moment. Ok, which way should I choose? Just into the forest would be a bad idea... follow the river... yeah, but upwards, stream-wards there is only unnecessary danger.

So I went up the stream. Focus on your hearing now, don't need touch or sight for now. I stood still, closed my eyes and worked on my focus.

I heard a crack, my head turned in the direction out of reflex. I waited some time Come on, gimme another sound. I promise it'll be quick.

Nothing more, either an old tree or something that noticed it's wrong doing.

I continued listening for some more time. I don't know for how long, I just stood there, focused on my hearing. My eyes were closed, a flock of deer could walk by directly in front of me... if they were silent enough.

No, away with these thoughts, they only distract you.

Still nothing. After a while I continued. I bore my bow over my back, it was easier to switch on all fours that way if I had to.

Come on, you gotta find some food. We... you... I... whatever I shaked my head this had never happened before, this situation, there was always enough food after turning. I'm unsure if I wanna find out what happens if there aint.

I stopped again, closed my eyes, and focused.

Birds. No... won't ever hit them, and even if I would, I would need uncountable of those. Done with the thought. Silence.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

After completely focusing on my arm for some time I had back my own arm and hand. Skin, five fingers, nails, hair and all those small marks.

I ate what I had left, emptied and refilled my flask twice. By the time I was done the sun was high in the sky. My stomach was grumbling and I sensed that I was far from my usual state. I usually wasn't the guy to go jumping through the woods because he was overflowing with tons of energy, but now I was near to drained.

It was time to preserve my energy as good as possible, to think twice about it if it's worth running after some prey. Naturally I had to take some risks, but even those had to be close to a bet I'd surely win.

I left all unnecessary stuff at the tree, including my shirt and shoes.

It was rather warm and the air stood still, so it was much more pleasant to run around with just pants, bow, arrows & a knife. Might have been a good idea to take some rope with me too, to set up some traps in case I found any good spots, but didn't really think of that then. The Idea was more, fast & much. And traps usually weren't the fast way of getting prey.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

For now I focused on turning back my arm instead of overthinking this.

The main problem with my current situation was, turning back that arm costs me lots of strength. This other body has kind of it's own will. It doesn't want to go 'back'. It want's freedom, which is definitely understandable, but I can't give it that. So it was, as always, a fight to turn back the arm.

Fight may be the wrong term, it's not like fighting someone or something. Not like a classic brawl or arm wrestling where it can go back and forth between both sides. It's more like... something I have to beat down, that simply takes the punches without getting hurt much by it. It needs many, hard punches to go down... if that makes any sense.

And that costs me energy, which means I have to eat & drink more afterwards.

The first meal usually is the biggest, then it goes down drastically meal by meal till I'm back to 'normal'.

This time it was just the arm, so a hare or three as first meal would surely be enough, tho I didn't have that much left.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

All of sudden I felt my claw gripping into the tree, me swinging towards the tree and bumping into it. Then I was just hanging there.

It took me a lot more time to realize... to fathom what just had happened. As I looked up I saw that I was just a bit below the branch I had been sitting and sleeping on. Just about an arms length.

My mind began working again without all that surprise and wonder twisting into every single thought. I pulled myself up and sat on the branch again.

For a a moment I just sat there, looking at my arm.

IT saved me again. I would maybe have survived the fall, if I was lucky enough to not fall on my head, but I had surely hurt myself badly or broken something. And that out here, without any help.

How come that IT has already saved me two times? It's not like I don't appreciate surviving, I just wonder why IT has to help me with it. Clearly it's helpful to have a partner with you, but I don't think I could consider IT that.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Something ripped me out of my sleep.

As I opened my eyes I saw the ground below me, and it was coming towards me quickly.

After what felt like a moment or two I was wake enough to realize it wasn't the ground coming towards me, but me falling down towards it. Down from my safe branch.

Why had this to happen this night? Is it just a coincidence or is it somehow connected to me thinking about it earlier? And if yes, how could thinking about something affect if it's going to happen? I mean, naturally if you plan on going hunting and shoot a deer, that does affect it very much. If you hadn't had that thought you might have not gone to do that. But something like this, like thinking about that it'd hurt to stumble and fall on your face and it then happening only a while later. That can't be connected, right?

Suddenly I noticed this pain in my arm, and through that also how numb my whole body was. It was transforming, beginning at my elbow and slowly crawling towards my hand. Slowly it moved, I didn't have any control over it, towards the tree, reaching for it.

Then things began to get faster, I was falling faster, my arm was moving faster.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

How could I've been so dumb not getting that. That also explains why there are nearly now plants in or directly by the pond.

That means the source of whatever danger, is directly inside the pond, or a bit further up the stream. I saw the fox drinking from the stream, and I drank the water myself even further up, it must be safe there.

I decided to go further up the stream again, hide and wait there. There weren't going to be any animals near here anytime soon, that I was sure of.

I'm unsure if you can hear this, and if you might still be ignoring it but... Thank you, probably saved my arse there

Î dïd zæt før mýssëlf, rrêtård

I didn't expect any other answer from IT so I didn't bother saying anything else.

After a while of walking upstream I found myself a new branch to sit on. The sun was already near the horizon and it began getting darker. I climbed the tree cautiously and sat myself on the branch. As usual it wasn't comfortable, but it was safe

...unless I'd fall down in my sleep.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I was puzzled.

How come I neither saw nor heard anything after more than two days waiting. Was there maybe a better source of water nearby? Was IT messing with my senses?

I got out of the bush and took a break. Just sitting there and doing 'nothing' was... not quite exhausting but... tiring.

I had something to fill my stomach a bit, noticed that I was beginning to go empty on food. Got the last sip out of my flask too.

Hmm... that one empty too? Better refill it, after all I'm right near some water.

I went to the pond, knelt down right at it, was just about to sink the flask into the water –

$STØP RRRÎGHT ZÆRRË, ÏDÍØT

What?

Ýöû... ¥ØÙ håvë ßêεñ ssîttïng hærê før HÔW löng wîzøût ÅÑÝ ænîmäl$ bêïng nær zîss ƒûçking pΘnd ånd yøµ sstïll æsk zât?!?!

You mean... the water is...?

€KZÅ₡TL¥, rrêtærd!!

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

The branch I found to my liking was thick. I could comfortably sit on it.

So now I had to play the waiting game.

Nothing on the first day.

Neither on the second.

I wasn't sitting still up in that tree all the time. I had to move around a bit, but it wasn't that much that I could be scaring off anything with that.

At first I began to doubt my eyes. That I was too far away from the pond to see slight movements. So I changed position. Hid in a large bush near the lake. Focused completely on my hearing instead. Sitting there in silence for a long while. But I heard nothing. Just a slight, consistent rustle of wind through the leaves.

I knew wild animals aren't really the ones to come stomping through here, breaking every branch lying on the ground, walking into every nearby bush and jump into the water. But still, they had to make some sounds, break this silence somehow, add something to it.

But I heard nothing, not a sound.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

The beck ended up in a pond.

There were no animals in sight, but that came probably from me just stomping through there, which was quite mindless to do.

My main thought was that I had gotten to my destination and now had to find a place to hide.

I pondered whether I should hide in a bush or in a tree. And after some time I came to the result that it was in many ways better to sit in a tree than in a bush. Better look over the area, no need to worry about predators sneaking up, I could actually move a bit sitting on a branch, in a bush I'd have to sit still all the time. And after deciding whether tree or bush, I only had to find a suitable tree.

The trees near the lake all seemed very young, not one having any branch that would be thick enough to endure my weight.

It took me some time to find a suitable tree. It wasn't directly by the pond, it was a few paces off. Behind some younger trees.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

Once more I have a note for you people out there :D Actually, this time, I wanna thank you all. It's about a year now since I've started this blog and began posting episodes and I am really happy how this all turned out.

So to all my followers, new or old, official or lurkers, trustworthy or... supsicious; Thank you

I enjoyed that moment for a while longer, just sitting there. It was a welcome change from walking near to all day.

The sun had moved quite a bit, lighting the area in a different way, when I noticed a fox drinking from the beck a few paces from me.

I hit myself against the head.

How couldn't I have thought of that. Animals need water. This may not be the only place around here for them to get some but it's one of them. If I just wait around here somewhere... maybe even follow the stream a little, might even find a pond where it ends up.

I got up and packed my stuff. The fox ran away as soon as I moved, but he wasn't my target anyway. But still, I learned something from him too; If I wanna wait around water for animals, I gotta stay still, or move very slowly.

My new plan was set, following the beck to where it ends and waiting for animals. If I can't follow them, I'll wait for them instead.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

It took quite some time to find any tracks at all, other than those on that bush.

At first I tried looking for any traces of animals eating any other plants in the area, but finding that was near to impossible. Out of old habit I tried looking for any tracks on the ground, in the grass or in the dirt. But didn't find anything significant.

Around the time the sun was at it's highest I found a small beck.

There I took a break. Ate a bit, refilled my flask and sat down for a moment. And although I had been walking around in that forest all day it was the first time I really noticed all the chirping around me.

I was just sitting there in awe for a moment.

Those dozens of chirping birds around me, the small stream besides me, how the sun lighted up the forest right now. It was a great moment.

I wish I could have captured it somehow, and taken it with me.

Picture Stream by abyss1956

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

The start of my day was successful. Quite successful to be honest. 'Discovered' some (most probably) edible plant and had already found a way to enhance my meals with it. In my opinion a very good start of the day.

But the day continued, and so I had to continue too.

Continue looking for any tracks of animals. Preferably something large like a deer. Something to get a bit of profit out of.

I remembered the the berry bush I found. There had been some animal eating from those.

I inspected the bush again. The traces were on the upper part of the bush, so it couldn't have been a rabbit or the like. Might have been a deer. Or at least something similar in size. A cow maybe... here in the forest? Well you never know.

As I inspected the bitten of stalks I noticed that they were already dry and brown were it got severed. Guess it's been some time since something fed from that bush.

But I didn't give up. Up until now I had only known how to trace animals by their tracks in the snow, now I could maybe learn how to follow them by other kind of traces they leave.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

And less than the blink of an eye later I was standing on solid ground.

I took a quick look around Nothing nearby and stretched my body. Loosening up those stiff muscles felt great.

There were some berries right nearby. Small, kinda round, orange-red-ish berries. I pondered over whether I should try some or not. I inspected the bush a bit. It took a while but I found traces of animals eating those berries... or some leaves.

After a bit of thinking I concluded that it must have been some berries. I was quite sure of it.

For safety sake I took one and pressed it in my hands. They were rather juicy, had a few seeds inside too. Didn't smell foul either. So I took the chance and tasted a bit of the juice on my hand.

It was quite tasty.

So I gathered what I could find on that bush in my bag. Wasn't much but it was a change to eating just roasted rabbit. And as I found out a great addition to it too.

Picture Rosehips. Bacche di rosa canina. by Giovanni

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

Sorry for the delay. Really messed up with the queue date on this one :D

I woke up again much later.

The first rays of sunlight were already showing at the horizon.

I was cold and stiff, and my butt hurt, this wasn't the most comfortable place to sit all night long. I began with slowly untying the branches around me. They did help quite well at keeping out the cold, but didn't really keep the warmth in either.

To loosen the stiffness in my body I moved my arms and legs a bit before I thought about climbing down.

I took a look down first, Anything down there I could hit? Or that could be waiting for me?

Didn't seem like there was anything under me... just the ground. It wasn't that high, it wasn't the first time I did this, but still... I always had a weird feeling looking down from 'high' up.

But it didn't matter, I got up here, so I had to get down again too.

The legs hanging down I was much closer to the ground already, I held the branch firmly, turned around and slowly let myself down.

As I was fully stretched out I hadn't touched the ground with my feet yet.

Did IT come out tonight? Set me on another tree? No... it couldn't. I hadn't been covered by those small branches otherwise. It may be shrewd but it's simply not able to do that.

I had faith in my judgement and released my grip...

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

A cool breeze came up. Adding to how cool it already was it was rather unpleasant but I had to keep up with it. There were more sounds throughout the forest now. Crackling, rustling, swishing all around me. Most surely came from the wind, but I had a feeling it wasn't only the wind who rustled and crackled around me.

I took a moment to let my eyes get used to the darkness. Then searched for a stable and above all, climbable tree.

It took me a while. Most trees around were quite stable, but few climbable.

After a bit of searching I found a good one. Climbable, stable, and some thick branches a bit over my head. It was a conifer too. Although it stung in quite a few places, I got myself pretty well protected after bending and 'knotting' some weaker branches around myself.

It was fairly secure up on that branch too. Although I had some eerie feeling sitting up in that tree. As if... something was nearby... watching me.

I didn't think more over it, just thought I was imagining things.

It wasn't the most cozy place to be at this time, maybe a bit softer than on the ground but colder, without a fire. But still, I got very drowsy after a short while.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I was unsure at first. Feared meeting an unfortunate end in that forest, but without risk; no reward.

So I went further and further into the forest. Always as low as possible, constantly switching focus between eyes and ears. Between seeing and hearing.

It was quite a bit harder to find any tracks on the overgrown forest ground than in fresh fallen snow. I had to look more closely if I ever wanted to find anything. Not only that, I had to learn about other tracks animals leave behind too; claw marks on trees, ruffled soil, trampled grass...

Lotsa things I had to keep my eyes open for. And it wasn't helping that it got dimmer by the moment.

I could use ITs eyes but the idea itself feels like playing foul. After all it's still kind of... a contest... I guess... between the hunter and the hunted. One flees to save his life, the other attacks to save his own... or that of those he cares for. And then there's me, right now, hunting for my own luxury. For being comfortable. So I can travel a bit in peace, don't have to worry about hunting my own food.

Still, there are things I need. Things I can't make myself, things I can't hunt out here. So I have to get some coin. After all I can't hunt for books with bow and arrow, neither for clothes, or armor.

While these thoughts ran through my mind it had gotten dark around me.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

My hundreth post \(^_^)/ Yeah not quite my hundreth story episode but I'm still very happy I got so far. And again I have to thank a very special woman for that.

Or at least blame her for getting the ball rolling <3

My only real problem at the beginning was I didn't have any coin. So I hunted.Began setting up rabbit traps, selling those to other people on the road or sometimes in towns or villages.

After some three or four dozen days I had enough to get a bow and some arrows. And then I was at it again. Hunting.

I still traveled while hunting, but I usually went a bit off the main road to look for tracks or any other signs of prey or predator. Tho I usually just found rabbits, no big game. I guess I was still to near that road, but I didn't wanna lose sight of it. Had surely lost my orientation somewhere on the way.

It stayed with rabbits for quite a while. They fed my hunger and I could still sell a few. Survived well for quite a while with that, tho one day I dared to venture further into the forest. Search for bigger game. And get some coin out of it. So I could get my main focus on the traveling again.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

In the beginning, the traveling itself was very exhausting. I took breaks often, even tho I walked at a comfortable pace most of the time. I drank lots of water, really, lots. Until I was reminded that the content of my flask was only finite, and that there wasn't always water around to refill it.

Learning that was rough, but I think I'll never forget that again.

In the Night I mostly sat up a small fire and slept next to it. After these long days of walking I was mostly deep asleep within moments after lying down. Looking back on that I was pretty lucky actually. It was foolish to just set up camp out there, especially when you're going to be sleeping like a rock till sun up and beyond. I could have got attacked by animals, robbed by other people... IT could have taken over. But I was lucky, nothing happened.

Woke up every time just like I laid down. With the exception of being rested & kinda stiff from sleeping on the ground.

Must admit, even now the whole walking all day is still quite exhausting, less than in the beginning, and even less if I'm on horse-back part of the day, but I guess it will never quite stop taking most of your vigour.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

And with that I continued on the road. ...actually I guess it was more the official start of it. But you get what I mean... I hope. Anyway, I traveled on.

I continued in the direction that got me here. Wasn't ready to go back yet. I wanted to know what IT is, and I'm still far from knowing.

IT doesn't want me to tell anyone about it. I'd never get the idea to talk with people I couldn't trust about such things, but still it gets me thinking. Why not even with people I trust? Is IT afraid? Afraid someone out there might now what IT is?

Hmmm... very interesting thought... Might be something to go on. I'm sure IF that really is the reason there must be something readable out there too. Some information I just can get without telling anyone about IT directly.

But finding something like that without getting to talk about such stuff, might prove difficult. I have to find some way to talk about IT without really mentioning that it's a fact.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I didn't have much to pack. Didn't come here with much else than the clothes I was wearing... who weren't even mine. But thanks to Ingrid I had some stuff to take with me, and not only knowledge.

I was still wearing the same old clothes, far less holes in them now tho. She had given me a small bag filled with food too. And there that thought came up again. Me leaving, without being able to give anything back.

She lifted my head a bit with her finger

“Hey, no bad feelings now. You've got a long way to walk, and much to do. So you better hurry, before you grow roots here.” she said jokingly

“Well I... You are right, I gotta go. Gotta find ou... do... stuff.”

“Right, you got to. But give me a visit when you're around, tell me what you learned, what you experienced.”

“I... I... I will. Whenever I'm around. So be careful of those boars and the like while hunting” I laughed

She hugged me, saying nothing. Then she turned me around and pushed me out the front door. I looked at her, tilting my head. She was just standing there, waving goodbye. I saw it in her, she was bad at this, bad at saying goodbye. So she wanted it to be over. I complied.

Smiled,

waved,

turned around,

and got on my way.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

“What was it you wanted to talk about earlier? Had enough time to sort your mind?”

“Well... I've sorted my mind but... I still have no idea how I should ask this”

“Then work around it, what is it you wanna ask me about?”

“It's... it's this... well my, or rather our, 'contract' “

“Oh you mean the staying for winter? You're right, winter is over but... if you wanna stay for longer do so”

“That's... not really it, tho I'm thankful for your offer, but... hmmm”

“What are you worried about?”

“I... I'm... … I'm worried I leave you without giving you anything back for what you showed me. That I leave without repaying you properly”

She put a hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes“Do you really think I did this with the plan to get some compensation for it? I did this because I wanted to, because I had a feel you could use it in the future. Compensation neither needed nor wanted.”

“r... really? You sure?”

“Yes, and besides, you gave me lots of fun memories” she smiled

“...but-”

“No buts! It was fun for me, that's more than enough pay”

She hugged me suddenly, the first time since IT forced its way out. At first I was scared, worried, but I didn't wanna take this hug from her... and didn't wanna let it slide myself. We both needed it.

“Thank you Ingrid, a thousand times and infinitely more”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I was helping Ingrid skin a deer. As always, silence was our closest companion.I wanted to bring up the topic of me going to leave, but I didn't know how. It seemed so... ungrateful to me, simply leaving, after all she'd done for me. After having learned so much about hunting & through that also about survival in the wild, out of towns or villages.

How can I ever repay her for what she has done? How? How?!

That thought was racing through my mind. Not just racing through, it was consuming it. All she'd keep from having me around are some sad memories; Hunting, Carrying game, Skinning animals & all while not uttering a single word.

In the back of my head I heard someone calling me. At first it was muffled, nearly unintelligible. Then it became clearer, and clearer; Bjorn... Bjorn? Bjorn?!

She grabbed me by the chin, pulled up my head and looked me in the eyes.

“No black eyes, phew, was beginning to worry”

“What? ...Oh no, no need to worry, I'm fine, it's me your talking to, Bjorn”

“Better be” she laughed shortly

Then we were silent again. It wasn't the first time we had done this. She had shown me how to skin animals. First started of with rabbits, the ones that were already hurt, where the pelt hadn't sold that good anyway. There was no need to talk, we both knew what to do.

Should I take this up now? Would I be disturbing her focus with it? How much does she have to focus on this? As much as me? She has far more experience, but still, this needs focus & speed.

“...Ingrid?”

“Hmmm?”

“...we ...I … ...forget it, we'll take it later, when I sorted my mind”

“Mhhmm...” she nodded slightly, keeping her eyes on the task “...sure” she looked up and smiled at me

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

We went back to the village in silence.

We had ventured out far. Were back in village a bit after noon.

Nothing really special happened there. People greeted as usual after we came back. Some asked if the hunt was bad. We told them bout the stag we followed but, we altered the story a bit. First time we got asked Ingrid improvised, then we agreed keeping the story of a pack of wolves coming out of nowhere. That they luckily went after the stag instead of us. Must have noticed that he was the bigger meal. We kept the rest to ourselves. No need to tell anyone.

After that day talking between Ingrid and me kept to the most important stuff. Every now and then, I saw in her eyes that she really wanted to get closer to me again, but she didn't try. She feared what might happen. Wished I could have done something about IT back then.

Then spring came, the snow began to melt, birds were chirping in the forest... and my 'bargain'; a warm place to stay in winter, paid with my help came to an end.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

She stopped in her tracks. Looked at me. Her face filled with disbelief, fear and sadness. She stuttered at first, but after a short while it just came flooding out. How my grasp around her suddenly had gotten tighter by the moment, all the way to removing the feel of security, and replacing it with pain. How she was struggling to free herself from my grip. How it suddenly opened and ended up with her pushing away so forcefully, that she landed several paces away from me. How I then began screaming at her with this... animalistic ferocity. About leaving him alone, that he was all mine. How I then curiously watched her, with these giant black eyes.

“Those eyes...” she said “those eyes... GIGANTIC, and filled with this... this... void, eating away at everything that one once could see in them”

“It's alright” I tried to calm her “see, they are gone now. You won't see them again”

“I won't... but... but... I won't be the last to see them”

“...I do hope you are... Anything else I said, or did, besides that?”

“A moment after you screamed at me... you suddenly grabbed your head. Writhed around. Like... like something inside-”

“No more. And then, I shouted 'out' ? “

“...you did”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

We went back shortly after. Neither of us said much. I looked at her every now and then, to see if she got hurt somewhere. Physically she seemed fine, but I was sure there had to be some serious mental & emotional damage after that.

She didn't tell me what had happened. She might think I know what happened, that I saw it all, but had no control over it. Or maybe... No, I had to stop overthinking this, without asking I can never guess what she thought. It was simply not possible to think myself into having no idea at all of whats up with me. I know not all of it either, but I know some important bits.

“Ingrid-”

I tried to break the silence, had to find out what happened.

“Whatever happened, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand, but I don't want people to know, for their safety. And now I'm forced to not tell anyone”

She didn't answer. She just continued walking, looking at the ground, staring far far away. Just like I did back then. Seeing that helped me a bit, helped me understand. It was a different situation, a different enemy, a different time, but I think it was somehow still very similar.

“Please Ingrid...” I put my hand on her shoulder “...please, I beg you, tell me what happened. I don't know, I cannot tell you why, not even what, but I never remember those...” I paused, carefully looking for the right word, to stay true to my contract “...those moments”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

“I ran into a forest... not far away. It was the only place I could think of.

Then... one morning... I think it was the first, I had... I had... blood. It was everywhere... on my hands... my face... it wasn't mine. And there was that voice... it was... h-h-horrible. So deep... and it was... everywhere.”

I paused for a moment, to relax a bit.

“I... I got it off... somehow. Beyond the forest... I met a guy... Martin. He and his wife, Ruth, they took me in, cared for me... raised me.

And then... years later... one n-n-night... I... I... I...”

The words were stuck in my throat. Why was this so hard? I took a few deep breaths. Ingrid didn't say a word, didn't move, I barely noticed her breathing. This break was longer. We just sat there in silence, for a while.

“That night... I had a dre-dre-dre--

LËÂVÉ HÎM ÂLØNËËË, HÊ Í$$S MÌÎÏNÊÊ!! YØÛ HÈÅRR MÆ FØÔLÍ$HHH GÎRRRRL? ÅLL MÍNÊÊÊ!!!”

I was surrounded by blackness, by this feel of nothing, again.

Why am I here? Why now? WHAT did you do!? And what are you doing right now?!?

Mäkê ss$súrrê yøü rrêmëmbèr bøyyy, Yôü åré mînè, ând mìnë ålønæ!!!

What? I have no time for your nonsense now, let me back again. Don't you dare hurt her.

Øhhh, ýøû'd cärê íf Î hürt hær? Wê cån ärrràngé zât, yöû knøw.

Don't you dare!! You piece of shit!! It's me you want, come here and fight me.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha YØÛ thînk yöú'd sstând å chäncssæ ågàïnsst mê?!? HA HA HA HA

I... I... godammit, FUCK YOU!! What is it you want from me? What do I have to do so you leave her be!?!

Æsy, døn't têll ånyønê åbøût më ânýmørê. Nëxt tïmê zërê wøn't bé å wàrning

Sure, you've got yourself a deal, now let me

“OUT!!”

Whoa, I was back. She was sitting a few steps away from me, looking at me in terror, tears running down her face.

“Whatever happened, I'm sorry. IT--”

Hêy, rrëmêmbèr whåt YØÚ jüsst ågrêêd tø?!

“...I-I-I sometimes have these... no, I can't lie to you. Now I really can't tell you. For your safety. Else you'll get hurt, and I don't want that.”

“But-”

“Please Ingrid, it's no threat, no bluff, it's... a warning.”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016