My fella, I feel this on a deeply personal level. All we can do is keep trying. It’s not gonna work all the time, hard days will happen. But just keep trying every day. Any small victory is a victory worth celebrating. Keep on being you mate. You’re worth so much more than you could believe.
TRIGGER WARNING - low self esteem and self worth
I’m always trying to be positive and trying to love myself but sometimes I can’t help but wish I wasn’t autistic.
Maybe people would accept if I wasn’t so different
Maybe i would be enough if I was able to just know what to do like everyone else
Maybe people would stay
Maybe they would love me…
Funnily enough I got a wolf, which just so happens to be my favorite real animal
You've been turned into an animal
Spin the wheel to find out which
What it feels like I’ve got to do just to feel decently okay about myself because life sucks sometimes. But also armor is just cool and wearing it around is fun. So there’s that aspect too. And having a cat companion (or a dog!) is just an added bonus
Very accurate. I really don’t care to pretend around people. If you’re being an idiot I’m inclined to either say something about it or let my distaste for it, and you, be very evident. Usually the latter. But also sometimes there’s nothing you can do and so you just gotta walk away because if you don’t you’re going to lose braincells.
One of my favourite parts about autistic people is how you can use other peoples' reflections of them like an echolocation bullshit detector. Like they personally do not need to do shit for this to work, they just passively emit their own autistic vibe that bounces off every surface around them, and you can assess another person's level of self-awareness by how they reflect it back.
"Autistic people do not understand social hierarchy" nope, they understand you're supposed to be an authority here, but they won't politely pretend to respect you if they think you're incompetent.
"Autistic people do not understand humour" nope, they just don't politely pretend to laugh to humour you, and you are simply not funny.
"Autistic people are rude" nope, they just don't think it's polite to lie to you, and don't care about trying to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of telling you what they think.
"Autistic people sometimes have emotional meltdowns for absolutely no reason" nope, you're just insufferable to be around and the person with the lowest tolerance of your shit is simply the canary in the coal mine who breaks first.
Literally couldn’t be me right now with my best friend who has shown me nothing but respect since I’ve met her. Sometimes I hate having feelings lol
"Have you been avoiding me?"
"What?! Me? Nah… it's not like i, uh, caught feeling for you and now I'm having literally the worst existential crisis ever" starts hyperventilating "what reason could i possibly have to avoid YoU" chuckles awkwardly while trying to catch his breath
Having friends who have discounts at good food places is so nice lol. I just met this person, who calls me a friend almost immediately, and takes me and two others to Chick-fil-a. I have no idea what I’m gonna do to repay this, but you can bet your soul I’ll find something.
Heck yeah
I am very grateful for the Wolfenstein reboots and the Sniper Elite games because while gaming as an art form has come a long way and all the beautiful stories and complex characters are really wonderful and important, sometimes we need to remember our heritage as gamers, go back to our roots for a bit, and shoot a bunch of nazis in the face
Okay. Quick update. It’s been like two weeks (SORRY!) and I still haven’t shared about the good news that I had. I think maybe 2 of my followers are actually invested in this?? Possibly 3??? Anyway, moving on.
Unfortunately, I still don’t know how exactly to share it or how much I can share. BUT I can share that I’ve made some really good friends at a campus event my college had several weeks ago! And because of this event, I met an extremely awesome human being.
I want to be very clear in that I am not in a relationship in any way, but I really like this amazing human being so we’ll have to see what happens when the next semester starts. However I don’t wanna cross any boundaries that I don’t know about so that’s all I want, and am going, to say about the matter.
OH! And another very important piece of information unrelated to said events is that the other friends I made are frigging hilarious. Love having lots of friends that are fun to be around lol. Mario Kart has never been so chaotically fun
I finally got around to watching Secret Level, and boy was I not disappointed by the Warhammer 40K episode. Having only gotten into 40K within the last year, I gotta say that Daemon had such a cool design, but there was no way it had a chance against my boy Titus. Like I’m sorry. I may be new but even I know that named characters in this setting are not going to lose to some unnamed enemy.
Pain is wanting to write a little tiny scene but not having the motivation to actually write it out because you just know that it ain’t gonna be as good as it sounds in your head
It’d be kinda nice to actually be a real dragon. Have a “little” treasure hoard and no one questions it. Be able to fly wherever I want. Eat mass quantities of food because I can. Scare or otherwise get rid of people who annoy me or are needlessly mean or are just my enemies. I don’t know, I just think it’d be kind of neat
What’d you expect? A fancy cave filled with gold? Well too bad. What ya see is what ya get. Stick around a while, make yourself comfy. Absolutely no politics, idc who the crap you are. This is a safe space. We’ve got blankets, stuffed animals, and hot chocolate. Ask box is always open too
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