I Do Like The Scorn The Opening Sentence Has For The Concept Of Being "perfectly Normal." That's A Strong

"can i identify as aro even if-" you can do whatever you want forever👍

I'm on the East Coast, went to sleep at 9 pm, hoping to sleep through the night. Nope, nightmare and awake at 11:00 pm.

People are freaking out based on these early results and I just can't with that shit tonight. We know how it goes - Republicans look like they're doing well early on, then as more votes are counted and more polls close there's the shift. And yet every time we lose our minds.

I think Joy did a great job explaining but I’d like to chime in.

I was bullied a lot in school, from Elementary til High School graduation, by both my teachers and peers.

I got into physical fights, I was iced out, called names, sexually harassed. But also my bullies tried to turn the teachers -- who already saw me as a dumb, difficult, non-compliant student -- against me by saying I was the one being a bully.

I don’t recall how often it actually worked. One memorable time the boys accused me of scratching them on purpose playing capture the flag and I had to see the principle. They targeted me because I was the only girl who actually liked to play the game. I sweaty and gross and was sneered at for it. But I was also really good. The best kids told me to stop trying because I’d never be as good as them.

I’m not sure if I was able to point this out to the principle or if there was anything else sus. I had my nails inspected and was told I could cut them shorter / more often but that I didn’t have to, the length they were was fine.

I see so, so, so much of the internet as an extension of this. Argument bait, the hate terms which were the precursor to transmisandry got, of course, the hate transmisandry is currently getting, there’s more but I’m drawing a blank. It can get way, way worse than switching bully and offender.

This is the building blocks to worse behavior. And I completely understand why Joy would want to shut it down before it can even get a start.

Ultimately, dog piling doesn’t do anything. We can support / commiserate with Joy or anyone else dealing with bullshit without having to know the identity of a meaningless stranger.

I'm not going to reply publicly because I'd inevitably get accused of bullying for failing to protect the sender from the consequences of their actions when my followers got a hold of them.

But if you're going to send me a message along the lines of "I like your novel, but I ran it through a filter, and you use too many adverbs, you should consider using less" I hope you know I'm killing you with my mind.

Just mentally holding you underwater until the thrashing stops.

Hope that helps.

I’d like to point out one way to support the need to mark up books while reading is to give away weeded books (such as 9 out of 10 of the year old James Patterson's) to the people in question. My mom’s picked up many interesting books at library weeding sales (including a reusable grocery bag’s worth for $10). I would happily let people with the print disability you describe have first dibs to the books in question. I’m sure many other’s would as well.

They won’t be able to read best seller’s immediately but sometimes life’s like that. I’m dyslexic and my ability to read-read instead of listen-read is EXTREMELY limited.

I recently read most of “Make, Sew, Mend” by Bernadette Banner and it took me three months.

I need someone to read comic books to me.

I’ve thrifted many books I’ve already read and have the audio book as well in order to annotate them. And so far I just... haven’t.

I bought a set of children’s poetry books two years ago now and haven’t read a single one cover to cover.

There are many niche book’s I’d like to read but won’t get the chance.

So... when I say, “sometimes life’s like that”, my life is like that. My needs are not greater than someone else’s needs. Neither is my right to books.

One of the reasons that I personally think the answer, "because it's not yours" is not a good enough reason on its own to the question of "why is it bad to mark up library books," is because of the first "yes" answer I suggested in the poll. There are some people who are not effectively able to read books unless they can mark them - underline, circle, star, take notes, etc. This is probably an extremely small percentage of people, but I know for a fact that they do exist. And the suggestions of taking notes on post-its or a separate piece of paper won't work for them, because they will need to mark up the book in order to effectively parse it.

Now, I still don't think it is ok for individuals in that situation to take notes in a library book. Those markings still damage the book, and they will interfere with other people's ability to read to book. As far as I'm concerned, that is a case of competing accessible needs where unfortunately the result is that some people just aren't able to access a certain resource in a way that they need to.

But I do think it's important to recognize that such a competing need exists, and that certain people will be prevented from fully accessing a community resource because they can't mark up library books. And if you stop the analysis with, "because it's not yours," you can't account for those people and their experience and needs.

I’ll need this tomorrow I think.

Workout For Daily Life

This is so amazing!!! The calligraphy is so beautiful and I really wasn’t expecting to feel so moved seeing my pronouns written out by someone else. The declension is perfect and it just so happens blue is (one of) my favorite color(s). :)

It’s so perfect, and thank you so much for making this for me.

Calligraphy practice requested by @hopeandhandler. I added a little bit, I hope that’s ok? And I hope I got faer pronoun declension right.

Two more observations:

1.) I guess the chest hair helps? ???

2.) I will never bitch about escort quests where the person walks faster than your walk speed but slower than your run speed. At least they don’t fucking crawl.

Notes from Dragon Age

Verric, it’s fucking snowing up here! Button up your shirt.

Solas, you look cold too :( Can’t the inquisition give you proper clothes?

Oh shit that’s a dragon

This is the slowest, saddest fucking buffalo in all of Thadas

Come on buffalo, let’s go home

Avoid the rift I died 5 times trying to close

You are such a sad fucking buffalo

Here I am, Herald of Andraste herself, escorting the sad, slow buffalo home

Thank you for reminding me that the laundry beeped and I didn't get out of my chair about it. Which reminded me my med alarm went off and I also didn't get out of my chair.

Brb

started calling my executive dysfunction issues my board of dysfunctional executives and treating it like a room of frail old white men and it hasn't fixed everything but it sure is fucking funny

I need to be able to play Cullen’s “to work” from Dragon Age Inquisition before I sit down to do something productive and then have it transition seamlessly into my productive music.

Incorrect.

“If, however, you’re a trans woman who has had bottom surgery to create a vagina (vaginoplasty) and possibly a cervix, there’s a very small risk that you can develop cancer in the tissues of your neo-vagina or neo-cervix.”

Which is from the first result when you google, “trans woman vaginoplasty cervix”.

I am relaying what the surgeon who will preform my hysterectomy told me because my cervix will be removed and I will be given a neo cervix. He actually called it a “plug”. But I find that idea a little gross and so just described its purpose.

Also, the cervix dilates to allow menstrual fluid to pass out of the uterus. Crap enters the vagina that doesn’t belong in the uterus. That same crap also does not belong in the abdominal cavity. So surgeons don’t just leave the vaginal canal uncapped or “plugged”. Whether or not they just sew it shut or create a neo cervix depends.

Trans women who have had surgery still need to visit the urologist, not the gynecologist, because the former is familiar with our surgeries and the latter is not. You need to stop lying and spreading misinformation which could get someone killed.

Wow, everything you said is completely wrong. So it's very funny that you think my 'misinformation' is going to 'get someone killed'. That hyperbole is fear mongering and also that's just a really aggressive way to speak to a complete stranger. Especially to accuse me of 'lying'.

So let me clear up your misunderstandings.

Firstly, urologist specialize in the urinary system, which include the bladder and kidneys and also the uterus. They aren't like the male version of gynecologists. For example, urologist treat organ prolapse, where the bladder, uterus, or colon "fall" into the vagina, or will treat fistulas, especially bladder fistulas. (Which is a hole connecting the bladder and vagina.)

Secondly, Vaginoplasties are preformed by reconstructive surgeons not urologist or gynecologist in the vast, vast majority of cases. Also, vaginoplasties are not a trans specific surgery. Severe vaginal injuries, such as those caused by childbirth or disease, are also treated with a vaginoplasty.

It's laughable any ol' off the shelf urologist is "familiar" with the surgery. Plenty of doctors still refuse to preform even the simplest trans-specific healthcare 'because it's not a usual part of their practice they are comfortable preforming' let alone complex reconstructive surgery.

But my original comment wasn't about vaginoplasties, it was about checking the cervix for cancer.

So, thirdly, trans women aren't the only women with neo-cervixies. In addition to the above, people who have undergone hysterectomies of one kind or another often have a neo-cervix as well. Or, for example, if someone has cervical cancer, and needs their cervix removed, they give that person another cervix.

Because the cervix is a very important part of that set of anatomy. It keeps the uterus and other organs from prolapsing (just falling out) and is also something of a barrier that keeps junk out of the uterus. And if you don't have a uterus, it keeps junk out of the abdominal cavity.

The procedure to check a cervix for cancer is the same regardless of if its a neo-cervix or a cervix-cervix.

Meaning, gynecologist are also familiar with the cervix aspect of a vaginoplasty. As well as the rest of the vaginoplasty. Because they treat people who've had vaginoplasties. So, you know, it's perfectly normal to go see a gynecologist to have your vagina looked at.

A basic pap smear is actually simple enough it can be done with an at home kit (though if anything needs to be biopsied they'll need you in the stirrups for that).

So uh, recommending you see a gynecologist for a vaginal specific issue isn't horribly dangerous misinformation, it isn't even misinformation. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.

If a surgeon made you a vagina, that surgeon should tell you what vagina problems to look out for, what health screening you need, and what specialists you should have preform those tests for you. They'll also likely be able to refer you to someone trans friendly if needed.

Getting an at home pap smear test from a general practitioner is not a big deal. There's no need to see a urologist for that. If you need your neo-cervix biopsied there's no reason not to go see a gynocologist since trans women aren't the only ones with neo cervix.

And also most urologist offices aren't going to have speculums and stirrups.

Trans health care is not some big secret only select medical disciplines are let in on.

A general practitioner can prescribe hormones and keep you up to date on the tests you need for that. A plastic surgeon with experience is going to preform the surgeries, MtF or FtM. A general practitioner can send you home with a pap smear kit, or preform one in the office, even. A gynecologist can look at your vagina, because it's not a special or trans exclusive vagina. A urologist can look at a urinary tract or bladder infection or what have you.

Acting like trans health care is some super secret complicated thing is transphobic. That's something transphobic doctors say as an excuse not to treat trans people.

A friend of mine had a complication develop after surgery and needed a local urologist to fix it. The long term fix was surgical, but the urologist could have drained the painful mass that developed while she traveled to see her surgeon. But he refused. So did the doctors at the Emergency Room.

So she got to enjoy a very painful very long very bumpy bus ride from her rural college to the city where her surgeon was so he could take care of it for her.

YOU'RE the one who needs to 'stop lying and spreading misinformation' because your misinformation perpetuates the excuse transphobic doctors use to avoid treating trans people at all.

It is not a trans need to have a painful surgical complication corrected and it is not complicated to drain an abscess. But that doctor refused her, not because the abscess was caused by an unfamiliar surgery, but because she required that surgery because she was trans.

You are telling trans people that our medical needs are complex and overwhelming and scary. That's discouraging. And it's just not true.

Urologist don't preform vaginoplasties. Urologist aren't extra familiar with trans women's health needs. The cervix isn't part of the Urologist's specialty.

Calm down. Going to see a gynecologist for a pap smear isn’t going to kill anyone. And the gynecology field as a whole is making an effort to be more welcoming to trans women because it’s perfectly normal for trans women to see a gynecologist.