“And Survived” I’m Throwing Up.

This diva

The Yellow Dress

(Prints on my bio!)

Or it’s actually me. I guess we’ll never know 😌

Please KILL ME (reader) with jinx there *bats eyelashes* you choose if reader actually survives or not I trust your FANTASTIC writing skills. I just really want my baby girl to be sad about her s/o dying/almost dying. XOXO *sends*

of course! thank you for the request <3

summary; jinx’s girlfriend gets caught in crossfire, and she doesn’t make it. jinx’s grief and eventual hope.

characters included; jinx

tags/warnings; angst, reader (nearly) dies, mentions of poor mental health, hallucinations, descriptions of war/combat, descriptions of gore, suicidal ideation, (kinda) happy ending

men dni.

jinx didn’t feel complete before she met you.

she was living, sure. she had her gadgets and bombs to keep her company, as well as silco and sevika. were they the best friends for a young adult? maybe not- and sevika didn’t really qualify as a friend. but they were what she had, and she wasn’t going to complain.

but the second she spotted your face in the streets of zaun, jinx knew she’d found something, rather someone special. that first conversation she had with you felt so natural, your voice like sweet honey to her. a melody unlike anything the girl had felt before, something she could listen to for weeks on end and never get bored of. the little gestures you made when talking to her- hell, even the way she introduced yourself to her. she'd heard your name for the first time and thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever hear.

even after you parted, jinx couldn't get you off of her mind. you'd only met once, yet your name was a constant on her mind. she wasn't one to form connections like that, especially not emotional connections. something about you was different, though, and jinx just couldn't help herself. she'd met with you over, and over, and over again, until she finally had the nerve to ask you to be her girlfriend. and to her shock, you'd said yes.

since then, jinx has loved getting to know every little thing about you. the things that make you laugh, the habits you can't break, little details about your past that seem insignificant, but are everything to jinx. every day she learns a new quirk that only deepens the girl's love for you. her love.

before she'd met you, she didn't know if she'd ever find love. she didn't think she would, or could for that matter. she'd accepted that romance wasn't something in the cards for her- other girls? sure. but she wasn't cut out for it. who could love her, after the things she'd done? yet you showed her things she didn't know were possible.

jinx often laid awake with you while you slept, simply watching the rise and fall of your chest. was it creepy? maybe a little bit, but you always looked so peaceful, and it relaxed jinx in turn. she'd made a promise to herself one of those times that she would protect you. if any harm even tried to come your way, she'd stop it. you're hers now, and she protects what's hers.

"nothin's gonna hurt you," she'd murmur, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. the gentle flutter of your eyelids, the way your lashes cast a soft shadow on your cheeks and your face would scrunch up every now and again while you dreamt. it was the little things she loved about you, really. "not while i'm here. i swear it."

and with that, jinx was careful to keep you out of danger. jinx is far from safe in her day to day life. she's a pyromaniac of sorts, constantly getting into fights, causing explosions, running from enforcers. but that's her life, not yours. she's a violent criminal, the mad bomber. but to you she's just jinx, the woman you love, and she can't stand the thought of you putting yourself in the same situations she does.

her mind goes to the worst-case scenario, every single time. if she even thinks of you fighting alongside her, she immediately thinks of you getting hurt. even hallucinates the images at times- you bleeding out in front of her. you collapsing, the air sucked out of your lungs while she watches you cling onto what life you have left. it's too real to her, and she can't bear even the possibility.

she knows that you want to protect her. but jinx is a big girl, she says, and she can do these things herself.

until she can't.

you'd been at your apartment, a run-down place that barely qualified as a living space. but it was home, and it was safe enough for you. you'd spend more time in your girlfriend's hideout than not, but your place is much closer to your workplace. it's always a bittersweet farewell, but you both know it won't be long until you see each other again.

slipping off your shoes at the door and tossing your hair, you'd made your way to the bathroom to wash up before doing it all again tomorrow. stupid manager, having you work the closing shift then opening right after. it keeps rent paid, though, so you can't complain too much. you were in the middle of brushing your teeth when you heard the familiar sound of explosions and gunshots. living in zaun, those become background noise- but knowing who your girlfriend is, it always stirs something within you. more often than not, she's caught up in those situations.

you spit out the toothpaste in your mouth before going to a window to see if you can spot anything, and to your surprise, you do. you can see tiny, almost miniscule-looking figures in the distance and clouds of smoke from explosions. you can hear the sound of bombs and gunfire getting louder, and you can see pink smoke. a telltale sign of jinx's presence. but as the fight continues, your worry deepens. she can handle herself, she says. that's always what she says. and somehow, this is the worst fight of hers you've witnessed. you have to do something.

with a quick motion, you slip your shoes back on and swing the door open to run towards the scene. is it dumb? probably. will you regret it? almost definitely. but you can't just stand there and listen to the constant explosions, twiddling your thumbs.

the dimly lit streets of zaun stretch out before you. neon signs illuminate sidewalks, and besides the commotion of the fight, the only other noises are chatter from passersby and the hum of machinery. normally it'd get under your skin, but now you wished the only things you could hear were clanging metal and drunken laughter.

you're quick on your feet to weave through various streets and alleys. all you have to guide you is sound, but the noises keep getting louder- that's a good sign, surely. a bridge, that’s where the noises seem to be coming from. firelights? smeech’s goons? enforcers? you’re not sure exactly who’s after her, but that doesn’t exactly matter either.

the scene comes into view after a few moments, and sure enough, it’s worse than you could’ve pictured for yourself. almost an entire dozen of enforcers attacking jinx from all angles. she’s holding herself up, that’s for sure, but she won’t be able to for much longer. they’re getting behind her, under her, using tactics they don’t expect her to predict. it’s both smart and terrifying how calculated they are. they’re that dedicated to taking jinx down.

"jinx!" you call out, seemingly into a void. "jinx, i'm here! get down!"

she doesn't turn her head, only continues shooting. the sharp click of the trigger rings through the air while you inch closer to her, and it seems hopeless. she has fully armed enforcers surrounding her, and you've seen that look in her eyes before. she's exhausted, but she's still fighting, because that's the only choice she has left at this point. it's either she fights until her last breath, or she gives into the pilties- and she'll do anything to ensure she doesn't give into them.

"jinx, please!"

you're inching closer by the second, until you're almost directly in front of jinx. you weave between a gap in enforcers and grasp your girlfriend's trembling shoulders.

"move!" she yells, before trying to push you away from her. you'd never seen her so defensive, and part of it scares you. the way she wants you gone.

"no! i'm not going anywhere, jinx, not unless you come with me!"

"i got myself into this mess, i'll get myself out."

"gods damn it!" you groan, shaking her shoulders- though she's still trying to escape your grasp. she's dodging bullets to her neck, shoulders, her head with quick precision. "you can get out of this! just come home with me, please!"

she wants to, you can tell that she does. but that stupid fucking pride of hers won't allow her to, and you'd be cursing her if you weren't fearing for the girl's life right now. if you weren't barricaded by armed enforcers, you'd be dragging her by the wrist to your apartment and reprimanding her for her recklessness.

jinx is fighting an internal battle as well as the external one. going back home sounds amazing right now- but she doesn't exactly have a choice, does she? she's shaking her head and using her revolver to take hits- until she feels your body jolt against hers. and then her torso is soaked with blood- your blood, you're collapsing to your knees in front of her, and your forehead is pressing against her stomach.

you're like dead weight against her, and it's happening faster than jinx can even begin to process.

"oh, oh-" she drops to her knees, and takes both of your cheeks in her hands before she looks you in the eye. you're still breathing, although you look as if you're hanging on by a thread. "baby, oh- please, hang on, i'm so sorry,"

with what strength you have left, you slowly shake your head, and your eyes connect with jinx's own. that magenta gaze you've grown to adore over the past few months. one others feared, but you'd come to know as sanctuary- especially in moments like this. you've got enforcers yelling at jinx to let go of you, still trying to take her down. and even though you feel like every breath may be your last, you feel so safe with her.

"don't be sorry," you breathe out. "this was my doing."

it's then that she can see the life drain from your eyes. jinx collapses, and she wails. a guttural scream from the depths of her chest, loud enough for the whole of zaun to hear her. she's unabashed, she doesn't care what happens, who hears her. the dearest thing to her has just been so cruelly ripped out of her grasp.

hot tears stream down jinx's cheeks, and she holds you closer than she's ever held anything before. maybe, just maybe, if she holds you close enough and she cries enough, you'll come back to her. the blow couldn't have been that serious, right?

but the longer you go without responding to jinx, the more it cements for her that this is it. you’re gone.

she’d said once that everyone who gets close to her dies, that’s all she’s ever been used to. but somehow, when you’d met, she’d thought you’d be the exception. surely the gods wouldn’t be so heartless as to take you, too. but she was sorely mistaken.

✧.*

jinx doesn’t feel complete after she loses you.

she feels as if somebody’s carved a piece of her heart out and stomped on it, ruining any hopes of ever being whole again. how could she be whole again, when her better half isn’t here anymore?

days blur into night, sunrise into sunset without jinx noticing. she drags her feet from job to job, she can barely make eye contact with anyone. her tone is painfully flat and trying to get through conversations feels like one of most daunting tasks- even sevika is starting to notice. people know what happen, of course they do.

when the usually cold mad bomber begins to catch feelings for someone and forms an attachment, people start to notice. and when the person she cared for so deeply was killed, they’d noticed just how much more violent she’d become.

not only towards others, but herself. she’d usually had some kind of safety on the weapons she created, but why would she now? why would she keep up the railings she’d put in her hideout to keep you from falling? she’s lost everything she cares about, the one person who saw her for who she is and loved her despite it.

and you didn’t even get a proper burial. who knows where your body is now? is it still on that platform, with people stepping over it like you’re nothing? she can’t bring herself to visit it again, not after seeing you like that.

jinx sees no point in living any longer. there’s no reason for her to keep going if she doesn’t have your love, your warmth. she’d give anything to hear your voice ring through her ears again, or to make you laugh. she’d sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if it meant she got to feel your fingers intertwined with hers again. to feel the soft plush of your lips against her own.

she's more reckless. violent, unhinged, chaotic, all of it. if the people of piltover thought that jinx was bad before, they're all fearing for their lives now. what does jinx have left to lose, now that she's lost you?

the hallucinations grow more frequent, and the voices become louder. it's torture for her. normally, you'd be here to comfort her and anchor her back to reality, but you're not. she's on her own, to deal with all of this by herself.

"please," she murmurs into an empty hideout. tears running down her cheeks, stained black, such a goddamn mess, but she can't stop. "just come back. if you're out there, please, i can't... i can't do this without you."

but it's then that she hears heavy footsteps approaching behind her.

"go away."

"you're gonna want to hear this." sevika. what the hell is she doing in jinx's hideout at this hour?

"i'm not interested," jinx bites, tugging her knees to her chest and shaking her head. "get out. i'm in no mood."

"she's alive."

"no, she's not. she's dead, sevika, i saw her!"

"yeah, and i just saw her too. in a hospital bed, alive." sevika counters. jinx still can't bring herself to look at her. this must be some twisted joke, right? surely. the woman was finding humor in her pain and wanted to rub it in her face. "they said the bullet went in through her back, punctured her lung, barely missed her heart. exited through her chest. she's got a collapsed lung and she's in a hell of a state, but she's alive."

jinx turns her head over her shoulder. thick brows furrow, and her eyes are blown wide. the whites of her eyes are bloodshot from just how much she'd been crying, and she looks even more pale and sickly than usual. if she'd been paying attention, she'd be able to notice the glimmer of... concern in sevika's eye.

"you're serious?"

"i'm serious."

✧.*

jinx nervously clutches a bouquet of wildflowers to her chest. a rarity in zaun, but she'd gone to the ruins of the commune to pick a few for you. she's standing outside of the door of the room you're held in- in piltover. even though they were the ones responsible for putting you in this situation, they were compassionate enough to at least recognize that they'd fucked up. they were after jinx, not you, and it was wrong of them to try and take you down.

would they stop trying to get jinx? absolutely not, but they'd realized their wrongdoing.

here goes nothing, she supposes, before twisting the doorknob.

the image of you in bed, hooked into various machines and looking like a shell of the person she knows hits jinx like a bag of bricks. the color has drained from your face. you're staring up at the ceiling, and the only things moving are your fingers from time to time- though, she supposes not much moving can be done when you're recovering from a near-fatal gunshot wound. your head slowly turns to the direction of the door, though, and it's then that jinx sees you smile.

her heart stutters in her chest, and she bolts towards your bed.

"oh- oh, gods, you're alive, you're..."

"i'm alive," you affirm, though your voice is weak. your breath is shorter, but you still have it- and that's something, isn't it?

she sits down on the edge of your bed, tentatively taking one of your hands into her lap. she doesn't want to pull too hard for the risk of hurting you further, but jinx needs this. she needs to know that she isn't dreaming, that you're here in the flesh with her and you're okay.

"i didn't know what to do without you. without you around, your- your love," she murmurs, rosy eyes locked with yours. you can tell from the tremble in her voice that she's close to the point of tears. "i... i thought you were gone."

"i thought i was, too," you whisper, giving a weak squeeze of jinx's hand. "but i'm still here, somehow. i missed you."

"i missed you so damn bad, babe, you don't know- i'm never letting anything happen to you again, and that's a damn promise. okay?"

"okay. and i'm not doing any stupid shit like that again either."

it's bittersweet, but jinx is so unabashedly happy in this moment. she leans over you, searching your eyes. your chapped lips, your tangled hair, your dry skin- but you look more beautiful than you ever have before to her. you're alive, and you're hers. she leans closer, her lips barely brushing yours, before being interrupted by the doctor entering the room.

"we're going to pull her from the room to run some tests for a while, miss."

"damn it."

I LOVE IT SO MUCH I MIGHT CHANGE IT TO MY PFP

LOOK AT THIS CUTE PICREW I FOUND!

Kny themes and allat

No pressure tags!!! @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @flametrashira @sunandflame @flametigress @chiharuhashibira @peachdues @archer-fb @ta-ni-ya @crpz0308 @mamayan @ghost-1-y @whatthefucksatan @kyojurismo anyone who wants to!

Its been a min. How are you😭❤️❤️❤️

Hey!

Tysm for asking I really appreciate it and I love it when people come to check up on me and just see how I’m doing and just overall patient

In all honesty, it’s a bit of a challenge to get back into writing especially from a long hiatus like the one I took (the one I took before starting this blog) but slowly but surely I’m getting comfortable writing again and not being so hard on myself about it

I took a slight break there’s been a lot of personal stuff going on so I haven’t been able to focus on writing

However, I will start taking writing requests and making posts soon

Thank you again 💕

DAWG

I’m trying my DAMMEST to find this masterpiece of writing I found this one time

I can’t remember MUCH but it was a reader x kyojuro rengoku fanfic

Where the reader was cheating on rengoku with tengen because the reader wanted to make more money and feel useful for their family together but the reader finds out that she’s prego with tengen’s baby. It was supposed to be a one time thing but they were sneaking around for 3 months because she had more fun in bed with kyojuro

AND THEN rengoku finds out then fucks her like a whore then take his kids and leaves but they’re not getting a divorce

BRO PLEASE HELP ME FIND IT! ITS A BOOK WITH IPCOMING CHAPTERS AND I WANNA SEE IF A NEW CHAPTER WAS MADE BRO PLEASE I BEG!!!

Hey darling!! (Is it ok if I say that??)

Could you possibly do a jinx one, but a self care day! Like they both take of each other, or reader takes care of jinx. Like, reader braids her hair, they eat a full meal. Drink water. Like a full self care day!!

Thank you!!!

Yes you’re alright to use that term lmfao

♡♥︎Soft Days & Tangled Braids♥︎♡

Warnings: tender moments, brushing/braiding hair, gentle touch, eating a full meal, hydration (yes, this is a warning), reader being loving and patient, lots of fluff, comfort, and affection

Jinx wasn’t exactly good at taking care of herself.

It wasn’t that she didn’t care—it was just that there was always something else, something louder, something more urgent that pulled her away from the little things. Eating? She forgot. Drinking water? Who had the time? Sleeping? Maybe when her body finally crashed.

So she didn’t exactly know how to react when you suggested a self-care day.

“Sounds fake,” she had said, draped upside down over the couch, her long blue braids spilling onto the floor. “Like somethin’ rich people do when they don’t got bombs to make.”

You had only laughed, tugging on one of her braids gently to get her to sit up. “It just means we’re gonna take care of ourselves today,” you explained. “No distractions, no projects, no skipping meals. Just you, me, and some basic human necessities.”

Jinx squinted at you, like she was trying to figure out if this was a trap. “That sounds like something I’ll agree to and then ditch halfway through.”

“Yeah,” you said, grinning, “which is why I’m keeping you hostage all day.”

⸻

It starts small.

Jinx is curled up on your bed, blinking sleepily at you as you hand her a glass of water. She stares at it like it’s a foreign object.

“Hydration,” you say, giving her a pointed look. “Drink.”

She groans but obeys, taking a few sips before dramatically flopping backward. “I’m gonna die.”

“You’re literally drinking water.”

“Exactly.”

Rolling your eyes, you pluck the glass from her hands before she can “accidentally” spill it. You set it on the nightstand and crawl onto the bed beside her, watching as she stretches, arms above her head, joints popping.

You reach out, brushing your fingers through the mess of her hair, unraveling the braids that have long since loosened from days without care. “I’m gonna fix this,” you murmur, combing through the tangles gently.

Jinx makes a sound—somewhere between a hum and a whine—but doesn’t protest. Instead, she rolls onto her stomach, resting her chin on her folded arms, letting you work.

The room is quiet, the only sounds being the occasional scrape of your nails against her scalp, the soft shhk of fingers untangling knots. You work slowly, carefully, unraveling each section with patience.

After a while, Jinx sighs, the tension melting from her shoulders. “Y’know,” she mutters, “I used to do my own hair all the time. After silco…ahem. No one else ever really…” She trails off, shrugging. “Didn’t matter much.”

Your heart aches at that. At the thought of her, trying to braid her own hair with shaking hands, no one there to help her after silco passed.

“Well, it matters to me,” you say softly, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.

Jinx is quiet for a moment, then—softer than before—“Yeah.”

You take your time rebraiding her hair, weaving each section with care. By the time you finish, her body is loose, relaxed, eyes half-lidded as she stretches again, fingers flexing.

“Mm,” she hums, shifting onto her back to look at you. “I look hot, don’t I?”

You laugh, smoothing a hand over her hair. “Always.”

⸻

The next step? Food.

Jinx isn’t exactly picky—she’ll eat just about anything if she remembers to—but she also doesn’t put much effort into making actual meals. Half the time, it’s just whatever’s within reach.

So you make something warm, something filling. Jinx watches you from her seat on the counter, swinging her legs as she chatters about her latest ideas, her fingers occasionally sneaking towards the ingredients before you swat them away.

When it’s done, you both sit down together—an actual meal, side by side, plates full. Jinx pokes at her food, glancing at you.

“You sure this isn’t poisoned?”

You give her a deadpan stare. “Jinx. Eat.”

She grins and finally digs in, and the second the first bite hits her tongue, her eyes go wide. “Holy shit.”

You laugh. “Good?”

Jinx nods vigorously, already shoveling another bite into her mouth. “Okay, okay, maybe this whole ‘self-care’ thing isn’t a total scam.”

You smirk, nudging her plate closer. “Told you.”

⸻

The rest of the day is spent in easy comfort.

After eating, Jinx curls up beside you on the couch, feet tucked under your legs, flipping through random blueprints with idle interest. At one point, you guide her to the bathroom, helping her wash her face, rubbing circles into her skin with gentle hands.

She grumbles at first, but when you press a kiss to her cheek, she melts just a little.

Later, when the sun starts to dip, she rests her head in your lap, tracing patterns on your arm with absent fingers. “Y’know,” she mutters, “this wasn’t the worst day ever.”

You smile, brushing a hand over her newly braided hair. “That’s high praise, coming from you.”

Jinx snickers, then goes quiet for a long moment before shifting, peering up at you.

“You’re kinda good at this,” she admits. “Makin’ me feel like a person and all.”

Your heart squeezes. You cup her cheek, thumb tracing the curve of her jaw. “You are a person, Jinx. And you deserve to be taken care of.”

She swallows, eyes flickering with something soft, something vulnerable. Then, she huffs, rolling onto her back dramatically. “Ugh, you’re gonna make me soft.”

You grin, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Too late.”

Jinx groans, covering her face, but the blush dusting her cheeks gives her away.

And as the day winds down, as she sighs contentedly against you, you know—self-care days? They might just become a habit.

Gift for my darling @belovedmuichiro

Inspired by this meme.

Definitely not reposting for later

Click read more for the full image!