Disintegrating In Your Arms

Weekly memelaine dump + Gin

Cover redraw!!

this was not the plan

y'know when you make a plan and you're about to execute that plan but then stuff happens and all of sudden you have to upload doodles instead of a finished drawing?

Yeah, me neither. Didn't draw art for it, but Chapter 1138 murdered me. It was so beautiful. I love One Piece so much

I think the whole debate over Chuuya being the clone or not it kind of dumb.

The reason Asagiri never out right states that Chuuya isn’t the clone in Stormbringer is because it gives you the uncertainty that Chuuya feels. The scar is solid evidence, but not solid enough. Chuuya doesn’t remember how he got it so he technically can’t be 100% sure that he’s the original, but that’s the point. The whole point is that it doesn’t matter. It’s his body and his mind no matter what his origin is. Before the scar is even mentioned it’s established that Chuuya has accepted that he’s human. The whole damn book tells you him and Verlaine are humans no matter if they’re possibly clones or not. It was never about them being clones, it was about their humanity.

The besties of all the time!!!

The thing about how Atsushi deals with Akutagawa is. Atsushi has always been terrified of retailing against his oppressors: to him, his oppressors were always in positions of power that he found impossible to rebel against. Akutagawa, on the other hand, was the first person Atsushi met who was socially accepted to fight back against. Akutagawa was presented to him as the big bad guy, everyone's evil enemy. Atsushi's got personal beef with him for how he treated Kyouka (which is very important for Atsushi, because if he never had it within him to stand for himself, at least he can stand for others). The person Atsushi looks up to the most repeatedly and unapologetically mistreats Akutagawa. Then mistreating Akutagawa must be allowed, right?

It's truly remarkable how despite the guess one would take judging from their good side / evil side affilations, more often than not it's Atsushi going for Akutagawa's throat than the other way round. Sure, Akutagawa threatens to kill Atsushi all the time– but that's exactly the point‚ he never actually follows through‚ and his real actions actually end up telling us his intentions are quite the opposite (re: “I won't kill you today because you look miserable” *saves Atsushi's life* *saves Atsushi's life* *dies to save Atsushi's life*). On the contrary, Atsushi's ALWAYS trying to attack Akutagawa both verbally and physically. Remember that time in chapter 51 when Dazai was keeping them separate? Back then, Akutagawa very much wasn't the one actively trying to attack the other. Not to mention the “You fight 'cos you want to be feared– that's far more worthless in my book” and of course the “It's no wonder Dazai-san chose to abandon you and disappear”. There's even the “if a fight is what you want, then I'll take you on” like lmao, of course you will. The thing is, Atsushi has always found it socially acceptable to retail against, loathe, fight and hurt Akutagawa no-guilt-attached like he never had the chance to with any other abuser. Please keep in mind how thanks to Dead Apple we know that the only other time Atsushi ever fought back someone who was hurting him, it was a most instinctive and involuntary reaction that ended up with him killing them and which gave him several trauma and unresolved self-hatred and feeling of guilt for life.

But hurting Akutagawa, that's peer approved. And it sounds quite cruel, and Atsushi is a fundamentally selfish character, yet it must have come off as so refreshing and even liberating for him to finally have someone he can openly hate, someone he could drop the facade of the polite, harmless guy in front of. That's why I can actually find it believable that Atsushi would, very subconsciously, look forward to fight against Akutagawa; as a way to let off steam, you know? A chance to finally stop acting and start behaving like his true self, determined, brave, protective, a bit of a prick. Not to mention, fights against Akutagawa seemingly always end up as a self-esteem boosts for Atsushi in a way or the other. That's why I wonder: if Akutagawa is the only person Atsushi can be himself with, if he's the only one he can act natural around without feeling he has to put up a front for; what about when Atsushi will stop hating him? Which doesn't sound that unlikely, I mean, after chapter 88 and everything. I'm not saying he's going to forgive Akutagawa for everything he's ever done but like... The perception Atsushi has of him must have changed to an extent, his judgement shifted at least a tiny bit. Then, Atsushi will be left with only one person he can freely be himself with, and he doesn't even hate him that much anymore. Just thinking about that.

Happy Birthday~

I adore Gin, she's genuinely cute, so I put her in few different outfits. I'm in genuine belief that she's a shoujo girlie.

Zoro to Road in this chapter:

Once again thinking about this manga panel, but not because of eepy Chuuya this time. (though that's usually why asdfhjk)

But because Dazai, who was previously knelt down and teasing Chuuya, completely relaxed now that the fight is done, stands up as soon as John emerges from the trees.

John who is an enemy, who even though he's unarmed is an ability user who could still easily attack Chuuya and comes into the clearing behind Chuuya.

Chuuya who is too tired and worn to defend himself right now, Chuuya who has a weakness to attacks from behind and surprise attacks.

And Dazai stands up, he plays it off nonchalantly, but he's alert because an enemy has just appeared and could decide to attack them if he wanted to. If he wanted vengeance for his fallen comrade. So Dazai stands and he leans towards Chuuya, ready to shield him from an attack from an ability when he's practically defenceless.