Hey DMs, do you need an unfeeling aberrant force to threaten your campaign world at various scales but don’t want to use mindflayers? Bored of lovecraftian knockoffs threatening to drown reality in abstract but unspecified “madness”? Well have I got the monster for you friends, It’s the Eldrazi: an unknowable and all consuming horde that’s here to reduce your setting to nothingness.
I’ve always had a fondness for the Eldrazi after they originally debued in magic the gathering, alien beings that sap all life from their surroundings and seem to have no other aims beyond the total and complete obliteration of whatever world they happen to dwell on. (plus they have a super cool look, and in the end isn’t that what matters?)
Eldrazi have a lot of mystery surrounding them, but in trying to puzzle them out I came up with my own headcanon that was too good not to use. Below the cut I’ll go into detail on how I think the eldrazi function, and how you can best use them in your campaigns.
TLDR: The eldrazi are the great decomposers of the multiverse, reducing dead worlds down into their base components, and then into dust to be reabsorbed by the cosmic cycles of the astral sea. A perfectly natural process, but one that can go catastrophically wrong should the eldrazi be drawn to a world that has not yet died as they often are by witless dabblers or disruptions to those same astral currents. When they end up on a world they’re not supposed to be they end up creating wastelands, fighting against nature like an infection.
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Why is this heat so hot 😩
My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."
and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"
as a player you should really internalize the intent/task sentence structure. “i wanna open this door by prying it open with a crowbar,” “i wanna set fire to the hay bale with my firebolt,” “i wanna haggle this price by commenting on some minor scratches.”
very often i see players only stating one of these. either “i wanna open the door” or “i cast firebolt on the hay bale.”
what the intent/task structure does is properly communicate to your GM what a success/failure state looks like, and what kind of challenge they propose. sometimes players have a very specific outcome in mind, but when they just state the task, even a successful attempt will be disappointing because the GM does not know what you want to achieve. and vice versa, just stating your intent puts weight on the GM to not only come up with the consequences to the actions, but what even causes them to begin with.
"kill them with kindness" wrong. bone construct
Gifted kid burnout culture is later on realizing you have ADHD... And Autism... And BPD...
But your parents denying it by saying that people with those things usually perform badly in school and I (supposedly) don't, so,,,
Y e a h.
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I...tried to make a meme and got carried away and made A Thing that is like partially unfinished because i spent like 3 hours on it and then got tired.
I think this is mostly scientifically accurate but truth be told, there seems to be relatively little research on succession in regards to lawns specifically (as opposed to like, pastures). I am not exaggerating how bad they are for biodiversity though—recent research has referred to them as "ecological deserts."
Feel free to repost, no need for credit
I think they should make a fighting game where all of the characters are from the public domain
Tag yourself, I’m the Classic.
there are a lot of things that make the locked tomb series so appealing, like yeah lesbians with swords, bones, deeply fucked up and compelling dynamics etc, but fundamentally possibly the most enticing aspect of it is the sheer amount of pathetic women in it. we are living in an age of DROUGHT of pathetic women in media; the Girlboss trope, in its most stereotypical and mind-numbingly basic interpretation, reigns supreme. the female silly little meow meow is ENDANGERED. but not in the locked tomb series! in fact there are several of them here and they’re all pathetic in different special ways, which doesn’t prevent them from also being badasses and strong, skilled fighters, but CRUCIALLY they are also losers!! and that’s what makes them so great!!!! like we have the self-sacrificing butch lesbian jesus-figure with a hole in her chest and the most pathetic case of Simping in history, canonically known as the ‘saddest girl in the universe’, the evil stick feral kitten lesbian nunlet with a bone fetish that everyone for some reason is obsessed with (no actually it’s understandable), the super tall ghost-looking ‘problematic’ lesbian with a bone arm who loves to cause problems on purpose, her even taller and more insane twin sister and her deeply repressed constantly half-dead crush who’s pretty much always having the worst time out of everyone in a series where everyone is always having the worst time. oh and of course the eldritch horror dressed up as a barbie doll