Thegoodoldcartoons - No Sir! Not Getting Out Of This Chair!

if I was in the Shrek universe i would be a divorce lawyer and I'd have a billboard that says like "when happily ever after isn't anymore" or something like that

"you should have sympathy for the billionaires because they're people too"

EDIT: I've gotten a couple anons about this so I'm adding that given what his aunt has told the press, the 19 year old has my sympathies since he was scared to go but didn't want to disappoint his dad still don't give a fuck about the other 4 though

I genuinely think Mouthwashing fandom is a good example on how real life misogyny is very wired on people brains and influenced how they engage with fictional misogyny.

You have a story about a woman being assaulted and telling a man she trusted but being dismissed because he is friends with the attacker, and people fixate on shipping her with either of those men.

You have a story about how men that downplay their male friends violence, assume neutrality is the safer option, unintentionally help create an environment that's unsafe to vulnerable people, at a risk becoming a victim themselves. And people make it about toxic yaoi.

You have a character kill herself because she didn't want birth the child of her abuser. And people make AUs where she happily keep the baby.

Misogyny isn't just "I hate women", it's also downplaying their trauma, defending those who caused it, and reducing them to mothers or wives against their wishes under this idea of what womanhood is about.

I don't think we can separate fandom misogyny from it's real world influence, not yet.

Ideal title for now: Tiger Lili

It all just seemed to happen so fast, one day Lili Zanotto was at camp, the next she was on the jet to save her kidnapped father with the psychonauts, and now she is on the run from them! But how can you hide from government spies, who are not only psychic but know you too well. By running away to join the circus of course.

Children. 

We were all once one. And one of the biggest questions people ask when you start maturing as an adult is whether or not you’re going to have them. Oddly enough we ask the same question for ships. And usually that answer is yes?

But Sasha and Milla? Honestly I could see both of them going either way on kids. 

Milla already was a mother, and might want to leave that part of her life behind and transition to the next. But then again, she loves being a mother and caring for others. Meanwhile, Sasha probably doesn’t like children all that much. They’re living petri dishes for germs and disease, they’re uncontrollable and the point of their existence is to not be smart. But then again, he seems to have an affinity for Lili and Raz, and probably can pull from past experiences as a runaway that children can be supremely capable of adaptation in extreme circumstances. 

When they both started dating/or got married everyone wanted to know if they planned on having kids. Firstly, because of office drama. And secondly, people at the Motherlobe have observed that both of them are extremely strong psychics, so their child would probably be extra gifted. So at every party or get together, they get asked, “do you plan on having kids?” And everytime it gets asked, Milla gets emotional. And people prompting that nobody is getting any younger isn’t helping. 

Milla had been avoiding the issue for a while now. After the orphanage accident, she’s been getting more confident in the idea of being a mother again…until she hears a baby cry in public and it sets off a trauma response. She doesn’t want to give a definitive answer to anything, partly so she doesn’t have to commit or be accused of lying, so she gives the cop-out answer of “whatever Sasha wants to do.” And she’s extremely aware of the fact that Sasha doesn’t seem to like the concept nor existence of children. 

But then Sasha met Lili and Raz. And Milla got the dreaded update that Sasha is now neutral to the concept of children, and if Milla wanted to be a mother, he’d support her. Which is the best and worst news she’s ever received. She was on the brink of having a full on breakdown from stress when Sasha brought up that he had some conditions. That being if they were to have kids, he’d want the both of them to quit their jobs. Milla was too flabbergasted to have an emotional response. The only thing she could say was “explain.” 

Basically, since they both have dangerous careers, going on missions to fight villains and prevent terrorism, there’s a high chance every time they do so of dying. Sasha grew up without his mother, and having gone through that experience, is not comfortable potentially creating that scenario by choice. It wouldn’t be two consenting adults prepared with the fact that they are putting themselves at risk anymore. It would be two adults actively choosing that there’s a chance that one or both of them would leave a child motherless, fatherless, or an orphan in a matter of hours. And while some people in emergency professions think the benefits outweighs that potential cost, Sasha wouldn’t want any child of his to grow up in a similar situation to him. Accidents and sudden illnesses happen, but this was a choice. Sasha argued that it would be tremendously unfair for the kid, so that’s why they’d have to quit going on missions. 

Milla thought about his argument, and she wholeheartedly agreed with it. But both of them love their jobs. Life has been great as a Psychonaut, being able to travel the world and go on so many adventures… but at some point the both of them would be too old to go on missions and would get a safer position. The only issue is that neither of them know when that point is. 

So if they have to wait an unclear amount of time, Milla can’t handle the sound of a baby crying, and they want to be parents….then there’s really only one option. Adoption. 

Milla already has ties to the foster system, and she probably carries handmade pamphlets she’s always ready to give out to encourage people to adopt. Even if she’s no longer working in that system, her heart still goes out to all those orphans, and she’s doing her damndest to help those children even now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she also volunteers at local orphanages or does fundraising events whenever she has the time. So adopting is a natural move for her, she just didn’t know if Sasha was on board with that. 

He is. He said he’d support her. He doesn’t really care if things are difficult, or about carrying on both the blood and the name, or pressure to carry on his legacy. He jokingly told Milla that if his father couldn’t influence him to be a professional cobbler, then he didn’t have any expectations for any kid to carry on his research when he was gone. 

I do think adoption would be the best option for them. But also consider the hilarity that would ensue at the Motherlobe. Coworkers are gossiping about the couple as usual, and then one day neither one of them shows up to work for like three weeks. Someone approaches Hollis about it and she just absentmindedly shares the news that they’re both on maternity/paternity leave. And the other agents are freaking out because “aw!!” but also having debates about their memories because they swore Milla didn’t look pregnant. I mean she’s been talking about “having a baby” for a few months but the math doesn’t add up, or does it? 

Meanwhile the agents that know Milla and Sasha super well are internally laughing their asses off. They knew the entire time that adoption was the plan. And even before they joked about how Milla was referring to her future child as her “baby” regardless of what age the child was. 

Milla has an album of photos of her kid, her and occasionally Sasha when she can both steal the camera away and catch a cute moment of him and their kid. He took her request of being a cameraman very seriously, and he’s pretty good at it! One of her favorite photos is one of him and their child dozing off on their couch, captioned “my darlings!”

And when I feel like I can feel once again Let me stay awhile Soak it in awhile If we can hold on, we can fix what is wrong Buy a little time for this head of mine

Tell me you're a psychonaut fan without saying you're a psychonaut fan.

I'm telling ya doc! When ever I hear hard going circus music and meat at the same time I get a panic attack!