The Jeanne Hachette Center, My New Standard To Judge All Other Architecture Against And Find Wanting. 

kill the shift manager in your brain

Talk fantasy prosthetics to me.

An elf maiden dances on feet of living wood sung into shape, planted in soil and watered when she takes them off. Every year she plants the old ones and sings a new pair. (Incidentally, the pair of peach saplings from three years ago have produced an excellent crop- She makes preserves from them, and despite the inevitable jokes about “toe-jam”, they are appreciated.)

A dwarf king has a metal fist, all tiny gears and fine wires, kept wound by a mischievous mine-spirit bound to the spring as punishment- the more it struggles, the tighter the spring. 

An orc chieftaness is regularly asked for the story of how she earned the name Wyrmthrottler- she boasts of how she strangled the dragon that ate her arm, and had her shaman make a new arm from its bones, with its fangs as the fingers.

A necromancer simply re-attached his old leg bones- Sacrificing a few mice each day keeps it going.

A pirate captain lost her arm to a shark attack: a passing selkie saved her, and gave her tattoos of kraken blood. Now she has an arm made of salt-water, that grows and wanes with the tides, and swings a cutlass as well as the original. (She doesn’t sail as far these days though: she doesn’t want her wife to worry.)

A wandering swordsman was broken at the waist- his ancestral armour allows him to walk again, as long as he keeps it polished, and burns incense to the ancestors regularly.

A high priestess has an eye made from a crystal ball- to predict the future, all she has to do is wink.

A bard was struck deaf by illness- he struck a deal with the god of music. Now he wears hearing-trumpets made from his old pipes, and dedicates his every song to the god of music- the better he plays, the better his hearing. (It is said his music could make statues weep, and he can hear a mouse fart at 60 paces.)

A princess has the arm of a golem, enchanted clay with mystic words carved in- her music tutor despairs of how her harp playing has become even worse, but her calligraphy tutor is ecstatic over her handwriting.

A goblin pickpocket has an arm made of whatever he steals- no-one feels his fingers, and even if they did, they couldn’t find their possessions amongst all the rest.  

A witch has eyes made from shadow and starlight, given to her in a game with a demon. Nobody dares to ask what she wagered- they aren’t even sure she won.

A warg was born deaf and blind- his people learned of his power when the nearest birds started staring at them, and dogs pricked up their ears as he walked past.

long-distance mech pilots don’t need to worry quite so much about traveling light. when you’re walking around in several tons of metal, especially one built to wander, you aren’t quite to the point of needing to choose which of two keepsakes you have room in your bag for— there’s plenty of space for both.

Things are different for interstellar knights.

You see, whether wandering alone or setting off on some quest for their lord, a knight’s only home is their armor. Anything they bring with them, they must carry within that armor, even through battles— and as such, every gram and every cubic centimeter can make the difference between life and death, and every calorie chosen to replace a keepsake can make the difference between survival and starvation. As such, a knight’s inventory is heavily optimized— and so is their armor itself. What matters more, the heating system or the EVA boosters? The extra fuel storage or the emergency release mechanisms? Pick one, and you’ll have no room for the other unless you can cut corners somewhere else. Every single element of a knight’s armor is there because they made the conscious decision to put it there. Every weapon they’ve attached to their shell had to replace some traditional aspect of a life support system. Every inch of their shells are packed full of every system that can fit until it’s tight against the pilot’s skin to leave them bruised whenever they exit their shell.

it doesn’t take long for them to realize which superfluous components are the weakest link.

They start small, at first— often as simple as a haircut to help a tighter helmet fit better. Some try to lose weight, but quickly regret it when they find themselves near starvation on some distant moon. The ones that survive past their first year are the ones that are willing to take things a bit further— the toes on both feet, to make room for a slight jump booster. One of their ribs, perhaps— replaced with a battery that connects to the armor through a cable that winds around bones and muscles. It’s only a matter of time before they do something about those bones and muscles too.

those who have only heard the stories will say that a knight’s armor is their home. Those who have met one, seen them exit their armor and seen just how little is left of the body inside— they will say that a knight’s armor is a part of their body. Integrated into them until they cannot survive without it. Both are wrong. Even some knights cannot pin down the true answer— what they really feel as they connect their armor to the components of it that they have placed inside of them. The best ones do, though. They know it well.

A knight’s armor is not a part of their body. Their body is a part of their armor— their home, to be renovated and optimized as they see fit. To be replaced, improved, amputated and eviscerated so that it can be remade into the glorious works of art that the heroes of the galaxy become as they charge into battle and become a story worth remembering.

As the armor learns to reach into your veins, pulling oxygen from the carbon dioxide you exhale and weaving it back into your blood, the space once taken up by inefficient organic lungs becomes the home of the heating system, warming you from within no matter what part of the void between stars you find yourself in. As it recycles amino acids into proteins again and infuses them back into what tissues remain, you’re free to remove your old digestive organs and find a home for your armor’s main computer, kept safe at the center of your shell. Many knights choose to put their own organic brain down there next to it, incidentally making room for more optical systems in their skulls.

Your armor is no longer simply “a part of you” and you are no longer simply “a part of it.” It is you. You are it. Your bones, its power cells, your organs its systems. You are its brain and its CPU in equal measure and its beautiful exterior plates, painted with the symbols of the lord you serve or simply the cause you stand for, will inspire others to take up arms themselves and let themselves become part of it.

your body, your home, your masterpiece

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

Feels like I should post these here as well - Chinese makeup elements iconic to Mulan’s era!

Meaning the Northern and Southern Dynasties, the Sui dynasty, or the Tang dynasty (~400-900 CE). These few hundred years were when aesthetic styles in China were at their boldest.

My Instagram

My Chinese history tweet collections

so I’m stuck being unable to draw and decided to have a go at mapping out Gladstone’s house, when it occurred to me that some of you don’t know about floorplanner.com which is basically the best thing ever for planning interiors/quick and easy reference for when you need to Draw That

it’s free (for one project), it’s really good, and it’s super duper easy to use- enjoy!

Everyone liked the color charts I test printed for Basilisk so much, I felt compelled made a nice version! Great for anyone that has an interest in Risograph printing, historical pigments, or weird medieval marginalia.

(buy it here)

I've been reading through your blog and you're doing an amazing job at sharing diy and fixing tutorials. I had a question on weather or not you had anything on thigh bags? Or removable pockets, generally storage spaces to that aren't a backpack or a cross bag

Bags, pockets, and alternative storage

You've got a few options if you don't like backpacks or cross bags. This post is not exhaustive, just a few ideas you could try.

Hip and thigh bags:

Your back or torso might be a convenient place to keep a bag, but it's not everyone's cup of tea. Another spot that's pretty handy is your hip or thigh.

Free hip bag pattern (Stylin' Stacy)

How to turn thrifted purse into hip/thigh bag (Instructables)

Purse to clip-on belt/hip bag (EPBOT)

Free belt bag pattern (Melly Sews)

How to turn clutch into belt bag (Brit+co)

Free zippered belt bag pattern (Sew4Home)

(Image source) [ID: a person wearing a brown leather bag that's been clipped onto the belt loops of the wearer's jeans. Text: "EPBOT".]

Fanny packs:

Fanny packs are also an option: you can wear them both around your waist or across your body.

Fanny pack tutorial (Gathered)

Easy fanny pack tutorial (Sewing Times)

Free fanny pack pattern (Spoonflower)

Fanny pack video tutorial (Madam Sew)

(Image source) [ID: a fanny pack made out of a dark green fabric with white leaves and yellow leopards lies on a green background. A pair of sunglasses and a hair clip lie next to it.]

Removable pockets:

Aside from adding pockets to your clothes or enlarging existing pockets, you can also use tie-on pockets. They were commonly used in the 17th-19th century, either hidden between petticoats or worn on top of a skirt. Worth a try if you wear a lot of wrap skirts or pants!

Make your own tie-on pocket (V&A Museum)

Tie-on pocket moodboard (Pinterest)

Tie-on pockets (Bernadette Banner)

(Image source) [ID: close-up on a large tie-on pocket made out of a white fabric with red details, worn over a red and white striped petticoat and faint purple stays.]

Cargo pants:

If bags aren't your thing, there's always cargo pants! They're a type of pants covered in pockets. If you can't find any cargo pants, you can always make your own by sewing external pockets onto a pair of trousers. Make sure to use fabric that's strong enough to handle the weight of whatever you plan on putting in there.

Draft your own cargo pants pattern (Shwin & Shwin)

Add cargo pockets to pants (Sew Guide)

Cargo pants self-draft pattern (Marlene Mukai)

Add cargo pockets to pants (Sewing Mamas)

(Image source) [ID: close-up of the legs of a person wearing denim cargo pants. An external pocket with a button closure has been sewn to the side of each leg.]

Pixel Grass tutorial for anyone who needs it!

i feel like we don’t talk about things like this enough