Sometimes You Realize That Youre Gay For Your Nemesis At Three Am On A Friday, Yaknow?

This crazy story that came out of my crazy head, the base: Song of villanus thing that puts @my-secret-alien-trash in your video where draws a nice comic ZaDr and then I see this other comic where Zim takes this form female androgynous ( Zim is not feminine but i imagine Dib with something as well and the smoky eyes or trans already i'll think about it later) and finally, there is the idea that loves to my beloved monster that is this Dib sexcslave of elites irkens and really I am fascinated by the idea that Dib but it is also something that I have always thought that arises from my heart to see Zim for what was created,  

Be a conqueror of worlds just as ruthless as Galactus and becoming a tallest by their own merit to having conquered a ¼ of the known universe with a large fleet under his command. I remember the comic where he's sent to retrieve an artifact of time and makes a lousy job as a leader and I say this is stupid, he can do better.

And well i'm talking  in English about that i'm on a journey of over 8 hours a somewhere in the country to perform the work to which they cannot send someone more why nobody wanted to go and there I volunteered to do so. In addition to that the application that use of dictation prefers the english language to write better than the Spanish for some strange reason. 

So I'm going to publish this as going out of my mouth before the panic erasing everything because I am still having a panic at what people will think of my writings and my art and why it is still not finished to translate the little green book for @the-space-case in spite of the fact that supports me and is very nice person and strangely I just want to go to hell or maybe i'm already there and i do not and realized.

Without further ado I invite you to read this disaster originating from the depths of no place that I am addressing the people of any location that has a Oxxo, wants to put a cashier why it is necessary for its population of less than 400 people.

(The things in parentheses are my thoughts so you may or may not have relevance to in history)

Here’s my,,, process for when I made THIS THING. 

I doubt anyone would wanna watch this all the way through because it’s kinda boring but,, it’s also kind of interesting to me because I didn’t actually plan this board comic hybrid when I made it, I had just done a couple of drawings and then slowly started to fill it in and made up the dialogue and full scenario as I went along, so you can see that process in action. Also there’s a few unused panels in here (including one that was supposed to take place AFTER where the board/comic ends because originally I was going to add more but got, burnt out, so if you wanna look for that you can).

Okokokok *skitters away*

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When you hear people going off about how you’re a horrible person because you can’t explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction, and yet those same people were nothing but toxic and unhealthy and constantly horrible to and cannibalizing each other in their actual lives despite only liking and touching “wholesome media”, and when you watch people be in long term abusive relationships and everyone around them deny it and praise how cute they are, but also go on about only liking wholesome stuff in fiction...

You start to realize most people are in varying levels of unhealthy situations and a lot of people are really not self aware about it. And part of the reason I explore unhealthiness in fiction is because it helped me recognize and make sense of the way these people treated me and others in a controlled environment because most people are unhealthy and so fiction was reflecting that.

It’s so baffling to me because the things I want in real life are so viscerally different than the things I want in fiction. I love shipping za//dr because they are super co-dependendent and possessive and the intense feelings created from a dynamic like that are, kind of awesome to explore in a removed way. But if anyone was say possessive of me irl i’d back out of that fast because I find that kind of unhealthy intensity scares me coming from real people. I only like it if I don’t actually have to be involved because I never want to be. A lot of the things I like in ZA//DR also just vent the feelings from past situations so it’s cathartic to be able to talk about it without retraumatizing myself through my art as opposed to being forced to only talk about myself and what happened to me directly which is triggering, instead I can have layers of removal by depicting it through characters. Then there’s also just the fact that I can learn about situations outside my own and gain a broader underetanding with experiences I don’t have. It’s like, the ship fills several purposes to me.

My point is like, this stuff seems so so obvious to me that fiction can be used in complex ways for individual people but today’s environment is set on it can only be a direct reflection of your real life wants? And I think if that’s the only way you know how to interact with fiction then you’re damaging yourself. There are some ships that are things I want IRL, and others that are more for venting or communicating feelings I’ve had, or exploring things outside my wants that I don’t desire IRL, or being symbolic for other things, and to me allowing myself to use fiction in a multitude of ways has been so healthy. But on the outside people may not always know the context, but I know what I’m doing with the fiction I interact with and so I know I’m not hurting myself.

It’s healthy to use fiction and art. Like normalization of bad things happens when people don’t have a strong grasp of what is and isn’t ok due to lack of education on it, but like that’s why in my opinion it’s more productive and important to have those discussions. Like no matter how much I explore say possessiveness and co-dependency in fiction (and use fiction to understand it) I will never desire it IRL because I already know it’s generally unhealthy and have had bad experiences with possessive people in my past to never want it near me again. If I didn’t know that maybe then it may influence my reality. But that’s kinda how it works. It’s definitely complicated. And again, i’ve seen plenty of people live and breathe these things in denial while refusing to touch it in fiction, while the worst i’ve done is come to understand it through fiction and work to avoid it in my actual life.

Grooming is a discussion people miss the point on by a mile and i’ll keep this brief bc it’s a lot to unpack and I don’t wanna get into all the nuances but people don’t get groomed by art simply existing, they get groomed because the art is used in a personally targetted way or normalizing things to them that gives the abuser more power over them. You can literally get groomed by “healthy ships” too if the abuser convinces you that your relationship to them is like that dynamic or if they make “wholesome” art that encourages you to want to trust them more (speaking from literal personal experience unfortunately). You’d probably be less likely to be groomed by art that you had a strong understanding you didn’t like and would wanna cut contact with anyone that interacted with you through it. So it’s important to know what you do and don’t want because then people have less control over you.

It boils down to understanding what you interact with and why and having important discussions around how to protect yourself IRL and what is and isn’t ok. Your understanding of the world around you will influence how you take fiction in. I’ve gotten wildly different interpretations on some of my art alone because people have different experiences so take away different things from my art. It’s definitely more like fiction relfects reality through our personal understanding of the world more than anything and that’s how that interaction works.

"Here for You"

Been a while since I did a sketchy comic.

But I'll probably clean this one up later

Comic list

A quick messy something from a scene I loved in @andyyoureastarr‘s fic Time & Space! It’s one of the best fanfics I’ve ever read in my LIFE and I HIGHLY recommend it

I love u but still boter me

Dogs And Cats by Lynol .

Wiiiiiiiiii

Skoodge saves the day with blind enthusiasm!!! Also Tak is there. 

Some zims I liked from the latest comic issue

More relativity Falls contentttt, Trying to translate the rivalry in this swap, came to the conclusion that fiddleford is just oblivious!

Hey! I really liked those songs you suggested! Do you have any more songs like them? I like your music :-D

I admit I went a little overboard here but what can I say. I really like music. Below the cut is a whole bunch of my favorite songs! They’re all REALLY different. I tried my best to write little descriptions about them but I realize that they got REALLY VAGUE AND NONSENSICAL REALLY FAST. I apologize for trying to describe sounds as PINK AND DIZZY. I couldn’t recommend all these songs enough. Seriously. IF YOU LIKE ANY OF THEM PLEASE TELL ME!! AAA!! IT’S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD TO KNOW OTHER PEOPLE LIKE MY MUSIC!

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