Did She?? Did She Blow UP????

You haveeee to take ppl at face value ab whatever they tell you. There are very few scenarios where reading between the lines does anything. Especially when it comes to someone’s attraction to you btw

STOPPPP😭😭😭😭😭

Can't believe it took me until I was lying in the dark trying to fall asleep last night to realize that Theo's mental breakdown trapped in an Amsterdam hotel room after a disaster and waiting to find out if Boris will ever return was fueled by its similarity to his time years before in his childhood NYC apartment after a disaster, waiting to find out if his mother will ever return.

Like I don't think I'm an idiot, but how did it take me so long to realize the connection there?

Anyway, Boris is the hero of the novel, weirdly! He subverts the central trauma of the book!

Theo is uprooted and shipped off to Vegas, a place where he himself says nobody loves him. Not true though, because Boris does!

Theo discovers his fiance is cheating on him, that he's betrayed and completely alone. Except then Boris shows up, and even though he did betray Theo, he wants to make it right!

Theo is stuck with no answers and no way to call his mother who he knows deep down will never return. Except when it happens again, it's Boris. And Boris completely subverts the mirroring of the book's central trauma! He does return! Not only that, he's fixed everything! The painting is returned and the guilt is gone! The money will fix Theo's mistake with Hobie! Come to Antwerp with him and get over your cold, you're fucking fine!

YOU WILL FIND A WAY!!!! YOU WILL FIND A WAY . You will find a WAY ….. you WILL find a way . You will find a way you will find a way……!! YOU WILL FIND A WAY YOU WILL FIND A WAY you will find a Way you will (find) a way you will find. a way you will find a way YOU WILL FIND A WAY!!!!!!!

it’s like you’re being ratatouilled but the rat is your shame

pretending i dont care about requited love so it’ll happen to me sooner

i want a penis but also i would get a boner from a stiff breeze. i would get hard from biting a particularly crisp apple

Cat silhouette.

An absence so heavy it becomes a presence

sorry for how i acted when i was being myself