Not To Sound Like A Whore, But Can We Go To An Aquarium Date?

Internet vernacular has completely altered what some words and expressions mean to me. Forevermore, I will hear the words "hear me out" will only and exclusively as "before you cast your judgements prematurely, please pause and allow me to explain how and why I should be allowed to fuck this thing".

Why does he need a- … oh

Infinite Garfield generator

i think about the quote “if a city attracts you, it’s because there is something waiting for you, and your story there has already been written” every day like it’s crazy. there are some cities and countries where i’ve wanted to go to for YEARS and it just makes so much sense.

No..I actually don’t want a nonchalant “cool” masc… I want a pathetic nerd that can hardly look me in the eye!

An absolute sweetheart who’d never dream of disappointing me. Someone who stutters and trembles when I get a bit too close. I want a sweet baby who treats me like their life treasure…is that too much to ask universe?

collecting posts of this type

Plump and delicious 😋

I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything

Want a wife so I can do really slutty things for her like make her coffee in the morning and give her forehead kisses