I Hate My Brain For Randomly Choosing Characters That Are My Family Now. Simon Riley From Cod?? Thats

*said as if the universe were a misbehaving dog* no. nO. universe. universe out the magic 8 ball down. i was so happy at noon. what are you doing. universe. univERSE. UNIVERSE NO

i feel like the universe shakes a magic 8 ball every three hours on whether or not im depressed and i really need it to stop doing that please

me at 2am vs me at 2pm

to me demons are like cats just doing whatever they want causing problems on purpose, while angels are like hares theyre painfully aware of their place in this world theyve seen the end

i just made my friend watch harry potter puppet pals for the first time. she was bewildered

trying to be a person and iron my pants but my cat decided that they were warm and comfy and now he's made a home on them. i cant do this dude

i regret getting tumblr i take back everything positive i have ever said regarding this website all you have are batman headcannons and psychological horror

i love you like i love gogurt. not romantically but i’m so very happy to see you when i do

There is nothing more revolting in life than seeing another person slurp on a gogurt. The sound, the unavoidable look of famished desperation as you seek the last stray morsel from within the sapped plastic tube. Like a baby calf, pleading incessantly for its mother’s teat. Mooahh moahhh. Go on. Cry in your weakness.

Okay but I need someone to write a snippet where whenever Tim does something “villainous” the core four make the “we’re in the bad timeline” jokes.

He could mix Red Bull with his coffee and Cassie is like “alright boys, we’re in the bad timeline.”

Tim holding one of Hood’s guns for whatever reason: >:3

Kon: *backs away slowly* “I know I joke about it but, we’re definitely in the bad timeline. Tim has a gun.”

Tim: *using his Timothy Wayne Persona as a way to get Bart to stop*

Bart: “This is the bad timeline.”

Bonus points if Tim brings out a PowerPoint titled “What to do if We’re in the Bad Timeline”

And it’s two slides.

Slide 1:

“Signs of the Bad Timeline”

> Tim has a gun

Slide 2:

“Steps to Avoid the Bad Timeline”

> Shoot Tim

> Have a younger Tim come and bluff his way out of it.

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

i made this specific for this blog and entirely forgot about it but yeah take it

Window wings, fragile panes Shield me from the dark Warm me with your spark