Thestressedpirateroberts - Untitled

bread

Bread Slice Sugar Cookies

The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now

at some point you finally get to the "this might as well happen" stage. except that stage has happened several dozen times this year alone idk if my heart can take much more you guys

what do you mean i can't spend all day listening to music and reading old conspiracy theories whilst ignoring any human interaction? bitch leave me alone tf

Your power is out but I guide you down the hallway with my sickass light-up shoes

episode where jack goes back in time to some point in like. maybe s7. he meets dean and is like i’m your son from the future and dean is like wait wait. then who’s your mom? and jack just looks at him and squints and does the head tilt and dean’s like. son of a bitch.

You are a wolf who was bitten by a werewolf. Every full moon your hair recedes, your teeth dull, and you are left cold and naked on a hillside. You’ve also met a lovely park ranger named Christine.

yall deserve an angel on your timeline.

BARBRA MANATEE 

I feel like the real peril of growing up Christian that no one really talks about is how deeply veggie tales songs get embedded into your fuckin head like a ticking time bomb of inanity

it could be decades later and you’re minding your own business in line at the grocery store or on the bus or trying to fall asleep and from the depths of your brain comes “the bunny, the bunny, ooh I love the bunny”

you’ll never be free