Thinkin' About Things.

Part 11!

A little bit of flashbacks hehe~

Part 1

Fandom pro tip: engage with fandom based on what you love, not what you hate. Goes for ships and characters, plot points etc.

Big Mama is quite a high profile person so when four sons show up from seemingly nowhere people are bound to talk.

The spider traits clearly mark the brothers as her children but they also have a distinctly turtle-like appearance. So people think back with the approximated ages of these kids in mind and now there are two opposing camps; thoes who say Lou Jitsu was secretly a kappa who used a  cloaking broach to make it big in both the human world and hidden city alike, and thoes who are convinced there was an affairs and that being the reason Lou Jitsu and Big Mama broke up with the battle nexus champion leaving without a trace.

Ofcourse then CJ appears and when someone overhears him call Big Mama "grand-mama" the rumour mill and theories are once again in full swing.

(Hope you found this vignette funny. I love you AUs and I'm always exited whenever there is a new post)

Lol yes! this is great! A yokai rumor mill sounds hilarious lol! and there would be plenty for them to talk about with some theories more rediculous than others. Like maybe someone sees them around Draxum and starts a perposterous rumor that Big Mama and Lou had paid Draxum to clone some kids for them, but he messed it up and accidentally made them turtles hybrids instead and that's why Mama's pissed at him.

and aww, thank you!!

Still thinking about how Morally complex Babs truly is. I mean, let's think about what she's done that other heroes (that she is commonly associated with; Core Birds and Bats) don't.

1. She attempted to snipe Black Mask. This is the crux of my reeling but it's still worth mentioning. Yes, Helena has shot at people and so does Red Hood, but I don't think they ever did so from a distance like Babs was going to.

2. She embezzles money from criminals to fund her operations. It's canon that she has stolen money from various crime lords including Blockbuster digitally. I would not be surprised if she also pinched some profits from various corporations as well. This funding is so extreme that it causes the Hunt For Oracle arc itself.

3. She was thrown in prison and shot a government agent. Thanks to someone recently posting them (I found them via a mutual follower reblogging them), she was thrown in prison after she took the bait and downloaded a file meant to catch hackers, and thrown in prison. She gets broken out and is only in 2 of 12 issues for The Hacker Files, but this is still huge.

And finally, 4. Barbara has actively worked with villains and morally grey assassins more than once. Lady Shiva, Savant, Poison Ivy and more have all worked with Barbara, and she has helped give Savant and Creote a second chance. Few of the Bats have done anything similar.

Tl;DR, Barbara is a Morally complex and fascinating character, and the fact that she basically had her soul torn out is horrific of modern DC. This is the Barbara we love and hold dear.

Will there be a bad guy or any threats to the turtles in genera, like I don't know... Bishop or the krang

Oroku saki with an evil look on his face 👀👀

Love your work ❤️❤️❤️

N….not really? 😅😅😅 The closest my au gets is the Foot Clan and even then, once they realize their Beloved Son is a Hamato, they go about dismantling the dark armor real fast. And without the Evil™️ in their organization, they have no need to free the krang…

And since Draxum has a New Found Appreciation for humans since, you know, his son is genetically human, he sorta….abandons the whole mutagen thing, so none of the mutant villains are present…

Even the Battle Nexus is transformed into a more Ninja Warrior-esque competition…

Honestly, it’s all just interpersonal drama. It’s a lot of custody battles and divorcees getting back together lmao

The biggest villain of this au is Loneliness and Guilt.

Anyways, check out these designs.

new tag game: the thing you most often pretended to be as a kid—whether it was a horse, a bride, a queen, a specific character, a knight, a lawyer, a baby, anything—is symbolically representative of you currently. what is it for you?

If you're still bored, how about d100 rumors?

Table of Rumors

So, what are the villagers whispering around the pub? (Adapt as needed to your setting, and remember that rumors aren’t always true)

An infamous item-shop owner is actually a fraud and has no idea what he’s doing

One of the party members is secretly in service to the Dark Lord

One of the party members is secretly in service to the Merchants’ Guild, ensuring that the party keeps having to buy more stuff

The Dark Lord is secretly in service to the Merchants’ Guild and their entire evil plan is a hoax to stimulate the economy

Mimics in service to the Dark Lord have infiltrated the village

The Dark Lord’s secret weakness is Essence of (consult Table of Flavors & Scents)

The Dark Lord’s secret weakness is getting stabbed with a cheap tin dagger

The Dark Lord’s secret weakness is catgirls

The local forest has been infested with Cascadian Tree-Krakens

The local counting-house has been infested with Modrons

The local fishing-hole has been infested with Dire Crawdads

The local lake is secretly home to a Fey woman that gives out swords proclaiming the wielder to be the true king of the land

The local spring is actually a portal to the Plane of Water, but only when activated correctly

A nearby swamp is home to a wish-granting hag

A nearby swamp is home to a reclusive retired bard, once famous across the land

A nearby swamp is home to Shrek

A nearby swamp is actually a bog

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that will cure any illness or wound

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that make anything taste good

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that double your strength for four hours

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that will kill anything mortal

Deep in the forest there grows a patch of herbs that will get you zonked off your gourd

At the top of a nearby mountain there is a shrine to a forgotten deity from beyond the stars

At the top of a nearby mountain there is a shrine to a long-dead celebrity musician where Bards can learn special spells

A nearby cave is haunted by the ghosts of a massacred army

A nearby cave is haunted by the ghosts of cavemen

Long ago, fleeing royals hid a magic sword up the chimney of one of the local homes

One of the local merchants/tradespeople is actually a psychic vampire that nourishes itself by providing the worst possible customer service

A local farm has a chicken that will grant wishes if you pet it without letting the owner know

The local pub owner was once a bandit and buried treasure under the floorboards

The town drunk knows where a treasure is hidden but will only explain when sober

The town Prohibition Society president knows where a treasure is hidden but will only explain when drunk

The weird old man that lives outside town dresses up as a monster to frighten people off his property

The weird old man that lives outside town dresses up as a monster and has won awards at furry conventions for his monster suits

The local blacksmith’s hammer is enchanted so that he can strengthen armor just by hitting it

The local butcher will buy exotic meats, no questions asked

The local baker’s buns are enchanted so that it is addictive

The local candlestick-maker uses dwarf-tallow

The local cooper is the Queen’s paramour, which is how he's kept his license despite his barrels being absolute rubbish

The local cobbler is assisted by Elves. Nobody seems to know if that means traditional tiny magical spirits or, like, a band of Drow warriors bound to his service

The local nightsoilman is the true Crown Prince, having switched places with a lookalike after getting the idea from an episode of “Wishbone” and/or “Garfield: a Tail of Two Kitties” and/or any of the three different Barbie CGI adventures based around the idea

The local grave-digger kills people when business is slow

The local pie-maker kills people when business is slow

The local oyster-seller is secretly rich off pearls

The local arkwright (maker of chests) is actually a breeder of Mimics

The local carpetmaker is actually a breeder of Trappers

The local schrimpshonger will pay dearly for strange and exotic teeth, the bigger the better

The local relic-keeper is a fake

The local phrenologist is legit, somehow

The local cheesemonger can tell your fortune from the bite patterns you leave in a rind

The local pardoner has a direct line to the Celestial Bureaucracy

The local doctor is a vampire

The local tobacconist has some primo shit in the back that he only brings out if he knows you’re cool

The local town guard used to be an adventurer like you, then he took an arrow in the knee

The local town’s rival tater-hurling team has magic on their side, so the locals are looking for an edge

The local mayor is secretly a witch

The local mayor is secretly an avatar of the Dark Lord

The local mayor is secretly two Halflings with one sitting on the other’s shoulders, having achieved office through a cavalcade of hilarious hijinks and desperate to maintain the ruse

The Royal Palace’s knights are actually just empty suits of armor animated by dark magic

The Royal Palace’s knights are actually just empty suits of armor filled with bees

The Royal Palace’s knights are actually illusions and the building is actually defenseless

Eating raw pork increases your strength, the tainteder the better

Man door hook hand carriage door

Putting out all the lights and speaking a wizard’s name into a mirror five times will open a portal to wherever they are

Living near windmills causes cancer

Electrical shocks cure rheumatism

Goblin saliva cures acne

The smell of Bonnacon dung cures respiratory illness

Giant blood replenishes vitality and cures hangovers

Powdered Tiefling horns are an aphrodisiac

Dwarves lay golden eggs when enraged

Pulling Elves’ ears is good luck

Stealing an adventurer’s helmet is good luck

It’s good luck to ignore Aasimar, pretending they aren’t there

People with even a little bit of Dragon blood in their veins are incapable of lying

Feeding a Halfling is bad luck

Druids are aggressive assholes that try to convince everyone else to become Druids

Orcs are disguised humans

Mind-flayers can actually survive on totally normal food and drink, and they’re just flaying minds to be jerks

People with red hair are werewolves

Kicking a Cleric of a deity besides the one you follow in the butt cures curses

Flossing with the hair from a wizard’s beard cures toothache and gum disease

Church wine can be used to remove any stain

The Chosen One has arisen and can be recognized by (insert trait held by party member)

The Chosen One has arisen and can be recognized by being invulnerable to blades

The Chosen One has arisen and a cutting from their hair is proof against the Plague

Many adventurers are actually thought-constructs without free will, controlled by the whims of giant deities living on a higher plane rolling dice

The Royal Palace is trying to hide from the populace that the world is actually round/flat/cylindrical/toroidal/&c.

The Plague vaccines being provided by the Royal Palace secretly contain Potion of Enfeeble Mind to allow them to control the populace more securely

The local ruins were constructed by Extraplanars (note: if this is already true in your setting, instead the rumor is that the Extraplanars are a hoax by the Royal Palace)

Certain unusual clouds are the product of the Alchemists’ Guild trying to control the weather

The gladiator matches are fixed

A famous bard died years ago and was replaced by a look-alike

A famous bard is hypnotizing people with their music

Zalgo is coming

The world is going to end next year

A major chain of food stalls actually uses bio-alchemically-engineered Oozes instead of real meat

The Holy Books have hidden messages that can be decoded by those that know the secret method

The town charter is secretly a treasure map

https://www.snopes.com/random/

Why the twins abandoned Draxum

Ok, i promised more Imaginary Friend content, and i am here to deliver!

this is a little more of the plot side of things rather than the shenanigans.

i'll put it under the cut since it's long. again.

Ok, so they sneak out to meet with Mikey and Raph for about three years before Draxum realizes what's going on. (or part of what's going on. He knows they have been sneaking out and the caretaker hasn't been doing his job properly, but he doesn't know they were sneakign out to meet, or even who they were meeting.)

Upon finding this out, the caretaker is fired and Draxum decides that, if they are competent enough to constantly leave the house on their own and come back fine, they are competent enough to be properly trained. This means they no longer have the opportunity to sneak out.

Mikey and Raph try to reach out to them via mind meld, but it's too far for a strong enough connection to communicate, not to mention the twins keep purposefully shutting them out. the twins figure that since they can no longer meet up with them, that It's better to cut themselves off completely now than continuing to long for a time, they believe, is gone.

It's two more years before they meet again, and it's on accident.

When Mayhem stole the emperium, Draxum sent the twins to fetch it, treating it as a test.

They're sent out to fetch the emperium, and, of course, run into Mikey and Raph (and April). It's very much a surprise, especially considering they're standing between them and their mission. They're careful not to hurt their siblings but do get Mayhem away Donnie sending Mikey a quick "do not follow us. it's dangerous" mind meld message before they nope on out through Leo's portal. a portal that both April and the soon-to-be imitation crab man go through before it closes.

They appear right in the middle of the lab so neither of the twins quite realize they have stowaways until it's too late. They recognize April as one of Mikey and Raph's friends and figure it's not a good idea for Draxum to realize she's there, so they hide her in a nearby closet before Draxum can notice, miming for her to stay quiet. once Draxum leaves again, Leo portals her back out of the building (he's aiming for topside but ends up just setting her down on their front porch for Mikey and Raph to find.)

Anyways! Mikey and Raph (and April) show up like canon, and, of course Draxum is seeing stars. It's the other two. He could have a full set once again! but they prove to be difficult to coerce into joining him, so he creates that vine monster to fight them (and test them while they're at it.) He sends Leo and Donnie after them as well, but they linger, choosing halfheartedly fight April rather than their brothers. That is, until Mikey ends up weaponless and the target of an attack that could hurt him.

Then the above happens. Donnie instinctively protects Mikey, which angers Draxum, which causes Leo to portal Donnie behind him so he's away from him, and, then they defect, choosing to get their brothers, April, and Mayhem out of the soon-to-explode lab rather than continue fighting.

but yeah, that's how they get away from Draxum. The power of little brother in peril lol.

(fun fact i'm just coming up with now (but have been thinking about) Draxum was super extra dramatic when he named the twins originally. He named them Thanatos and Somnus. though neither of them really acknowledge those names b/c they so rarely heard them growing up. Literally only Draxum used them. which is why when Mikey asked thier names, they just shrugged. Why is that Draxum beign extra, b/c those are the twin personifications of death and sleep respectively (though Somnus is technically the Roman name. but since Somnus's Greek name is Hypnos, i thought it would be too confusing.) also, according to Greek Mythology, Thanatos and Hypnos are the twin sons of Nyx (goddess of night) and Erebus (god of the dark). SO yes, Draxum was being dramatic AF and named a set of twins he was going to train to be ninja warriors, after the mythological twins born to night and darkness. and who also embody death and sleep. (this also gives me a good excuse to jokingly call the twins the Myth Twins, even though the aus staying named Mikey's imaginary Friends. lol))

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