This Website Is Always Going Buck Wild For Eddie’s. Personally I Don’t Get The Hype.

I’ve subjected myself to the horrible ordeal of being known (submitted my work to a literary magazine) and I’m in desperate need of distraction, so I think I may just start talking about my favorite music. Thoughts? Excellent. You’re a great void. Very…silent.

After the Great Fall of Tiktok (circa. 2025) I have decided to return to my roots. I didn’t really know anyone was left. Is there anyone left?

Honestly kind of hoping I’m just screaming into the void here…

An Essay on Nihilism and Ennui

Maybe the world is doomed. Maybe you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you were born on a train that had run of our track, long after we shot the engineers and burned the plans to lay track anew. The conductors barricaded the engine room where they hold hostage generations of coal miners who are forced to keep full steam ahead lest they be shoved into the incinerators themselves.

Maybe we can’t change any of that. I’d like to hope we can. Unfortunately hope isn’t the thing that drags your ass out of the cave you’ve collapsed into constructed of pizza boxes and soiled sheets. Drive is. Action is. Curiosity is.

Suppose we’re stuck on this train. It will crash. We will all die in a horrible fiery explosion, or succumb to the fumes first. What are you going to do in the meantime?

Here’s the thing: Life sucks and we’re all going to die. We don’t know when, we don’t know how. It feels impossible to plan for a future we have little data to prove will exist. What we do have is the interim. We can sit around and doom-scroll on our phones, or we can live life while we have it.

Plant a garden out of old coffee cans. Invite your friends over to fingerpaint on cardboard. Kiss the people you think about when you lay in bed at night. Chase an unrealistic dream, not because you believe it is possible, but because you can’t live with yourself if you never try.

That’s what you’re doing when you ingest endless content. You are simultaneously looking for the thing that will complete you, and desperately running from the voice inside that asks “what if there’s more?”

Stop. Running. Turn around. Look at the voice headlong. Dare to ask it back: “What more do I want there to be?”

Then go find it.

The texts I send my friends at 2am.

Franz Kafka, 1912

Generator Rex is legitimately one of the best cartoons ever created, and if I could find a way to watch it I would promptly write a 10k essay on why.

“Soichiro is in taken” lmfao

it is absolutely true that every character in death note is in a completely different piece of media from every other character. light thinks he's in law and order. L is in columbo, as columbo. misa is in a sabrina carpenter song and rem is in a chappell roan song. to ryuk this is all the three stooges. soichiro is in taken and matsuda is in brooklyn 99 and aizawa is in disco elysium. this is mikami's silence of the lambs and you're living in it. mello will either make this whole situation into twilight or die trying, and near? well. near is in death note.

this isn't my usual content, but something really struck me as i was visiting a part of the city unfamiliar to me today. and here is my takeaway:

I should not have to be afraid all the time. I should not have to look over my shoulder every ten minutes and be suspicious of every man in the vicinity. I should not have to scan a fucking public space, during broad daylight, for another woman to feel reassured. I should not have to maneuver the way I walk on a sidewalk, because something that has happened to others before can happen again. I should not have to avoid eye contact all the time just to feel semi-safe.

so why have we reached a point where this is normalized? I'm the one taking preventive measures and the people the law should be after don't even get apprehended properly more often than not. do we talk about the kolkata case anymore? we don't. mainstream media lost interest, at the end of the day. is it because actual justice was served? no.

and it's not as if this is far from me either. I don't think it's far from anyone.

there were a couple men that regularly roamed near my college who, according to firsthand reports, touched students inappropriately in the crowd. they were found. they were reported. we made a group chat to keep each other safe and updated. I was actually terrified of going that month. and the worst part? I don't know what happened to them. they disappeared, whether because they knew they were found or because they were apprehended, I don't know. or maybe they're still there, but all the students are too resigned to say anything anymore.

why?

because they were reported. and the enforcement said that one man in particular did it to 'go to jail for free food'. they would arrest him, keep him for a few months, then free him. so he did it again. and again. until the police were just used to it. I'm not saying the police don't do anything, because that would be inaccurate, but this incident still remains a part of my daily life. that is an institution I go to everyday. if I can't feel safe in my own locality after it's dark, if I can't feel safe at my college, if someone isn't safe in their own workplace, if I am constantly afraid whenever I go out alone... would you call that a safe country? a free one?

this isn't about any specific institution or political party or anything like that. this is about a rot that's been festering since the very beginning. something that should have been stamped out, but continues anyway.

we were promised a right to life with dignity.

this is not dignity.

Things my grandma thinks “made me” a homosexual:

#1 Disturbia by Rihanna was the first ringtone I ever got on my flip phone.

When does happiness have anything to do with entertainment? Is it not just an attempt to run screaming from seeing your life with open eyes?

tumblr entertain me

Sam and Dean Winchester Space AU

AU where Anakin and Owen are actually brothers like we deserved in the films. Nothing about the plot changes it just makes everything like 20% sadder. (Plus space wizard farmer family shenanigans).

I honestly believe half-brother Owen could give Anakin enough of a reality check for this to be a fix-it au LOL

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