I Want You To Tie Me Up And Choke Me While Fucking The Shit Out Of Me And Smack My Ass You Sexy Piece

Hi Mr. Wonka. If I in any way made you or your oompa loompas uncomfortable at the last barbeque, I sincerely apologize. I did not think I would get drunk ~

That's just the problem, Alice. You don't think. You spilled heavens knows what on my new tailored coat, vomited on poor Edward, kicked an Oompa Loompa while trying to, as you said, "tear up the dance floor", and tripped and fell into the dessert table. You made a fool of yourself and ruined the party for everyone at the same time. Next time please be more considerate of your guests before popping out a big bottle of the some ol' trippy chug-a-lug.

Oh, I almost forgot. You're banned from the factory as well, by the way. I can't have you endangering my Oompa Loompas or destroying everything, now can I? And I will be sending you my Oompa Loompa's hospital bill. Yeah. Use this as a lesson to be more responsible. Hmph.

What do your uh, Oompa Loompa workers do when they're not working son?

Oh, hi, dad! When the Oompa Loompas aren't working they're usually down in the Disco room dancing (as shown below), playing games and having drinks. Or in the cafeteria eating, or in their own room assorting their delicious cocoa beans! Most of the time, you'll find them in the Disco room spinning around, breaking it down and such. Some of them have learned a new dance called twerking, or something that they showed me. It's basically booty girating. They just love music. ☺️

What's a product you didn't sell because it didn't work out or something? 🤔

Cocksuckers. I created this thingie-ma-bob when I was 23. You see, the original idea was that it would be a small match box but instead of matches, you get a teeny little sugary sucker inside! Kinda like miniature pixie sticks. I wanted it to be colorful and exciting, a burst of different flavors within each one! But as you can guess, today that wouldn't be a good marketing idea. People would get the wrong idea. Heh...

For one of the more obvious reasons...

I'm cold. That's it. That's what I've been feeling all day.

Aww, maybe you should drink a cup of hot chocolate. That always warms me up!

You're the only person who believes your lies, mumbler.

Homemade dinner guaranteed to taste better than ya mama's cookin'!

Indian style chicken and vegetable tray bake; sweet potatoes, courgettes, peppers, onions, cauliflower and fennel to start, tossed in oil, cumin and turmeric. Chicken pieces marinated in garlic, ginger, garam masala, homemade smoked chilli sauce, and lime juice. Roasted for 45 minutes then added broccoli, chopped garlic and tomatoes. Finished off for another 15 minutes and then served with a few dollops of raita (yogurt, mint, cucumber and coriander). And to wash it down, Verdi Spumante white sparkling wine, imported from Italy.

Look at those beautiful, bright colors. Those crisp veggies. That succulent, tender chicken.

Who said I can't hold it down in the kitchen? No one? Oh, I thought so. Ha.

I know, dad. You told me before. It's just that all the orthodontist visits and braces kind of left me with bad memories.

I'm atta dentist and I'm scared

I feel for you. The dentist is still one of my biggest fears. I wish I could help you feel better, but frankly I'm all out of words of encouragement. But unless you're having a serious operation done, you should be dandy. You could always ask for numbing gel, that way you won't feel a thing.

I'm sorry I didn't know I was just taught that when a white man bring people over from a foreign country to his to work it's slavery 😐

You haven't a clue how slavery works, dear. First of all, you have to be a slave to be a slave and slaves they are not. They are happy, healthy, paid and dearly loved Oompa Loompas. Understood? 'Kay? 'Kay. Moving along.

I like how you embrace different cultures like with the oompa loompas you speak their language, tried their food, and love them and with prince pondicherry you wore indian clothes out of respect and you never antagonized them. A white man who knows what he's doing 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I appreciate it, but really everyone should be this way. We're all people after all.

🙄

The shade you be throwing at Alice, Mike, and Augustus on here and the way you be responding to your dad in the comments be KILLING MEEEE LMFAO YALL FUNNY AF 😭😭😭😭

And when mad hatter was yelling at you and Edward through your asks and you were like "oh..." I died. And Some girl said you get her wet and your dad said he hope they ain't a minor, please come get your dad. It's the chaos for me 💀💀💀

You know what they say, if you don't like my shade then step out of my shadow. That Alice is something, though. A drunk. Hmph.

As for my dad, unfortunately there isn't much I can do to deter his behavior.

I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with the notifications I'm receiving. My asks are totally backed up too. They just don't stop, ha. I'm gonna take a break and check on my Oompa Loompas. Heh...'kay bye.