When Veruca Got Attacked By The Squirrels Were You Pretending To Look For The Key Or Could You Really

Nobody:

Absolutely no one in the world:

You: Good morning my little chocolate chips!

..

(Ilysfm 😂😂😂)

Well, everybody likes chocolate chips and if anyone doesn't then they need their head checked.

Thank you. I think.

Just had some kid message me about being allegedly bullied by some of my followers, I blocked him.

Here's why: Number one: I'm not sure what happened. Number two: I'll never understand why some people think that just because they're having drama with followers of another person, that the person they're following is automatically involved or responsible for the others' behavior. I am not a parent. I am not part of the tumblr team. Half of my followers are obviously adults and I don't have any more authority than the next person to stop or encourage other people's behavior. I am busy running a factory - not a daycare, I don't get involved with petty online drama that doesn't concern me, even if the people involved are friends or followers. There's no point in messaging me about matters that have nothing to do with my factory or me personally. There are block and report options for a reason. Use them.

I hate having to post this, I'm terribly sorry. That just annoyed the living daylights out of me. Just as I was enjoying a nice glass of wine and-ugh. I digress.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Good evening.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

Have you tried the BTS meal Mr wonka?

Ew. What have I told you about asking me about McDonald's food?

Never do that, 'kay?

No insult to your hair, and your hair is great (it looks so silky...)

I'm just weird and sometimes get thoughts like that when I look at people.

For some reason I think that Charlie Bucket likes spiders and snails and all that stuff. Or at least tolerates them.

Hm, you're a very strange little cocoa bean...

Ugh, no! Absolutely not. I wouldn't ever allow Charlie to bring those furry little creepy crawlers into the factory. I'd have my Oompa Loompas exterminate them at once! Bugs and insects are not to be around my precious chocolate, or anything else for that matter. That's just disgusting.

Glad you think so.

#gettinganewcanesoon 🎩

🙊

Isn't it past your bedtime, little girl? 😒

#gettinganewcanesoon 🎩

You said your middle name is Winslow and my middle name is kinda similar it's willow 😂😂😂

And I like your bedroom and your smile and cheekbones. Your really feminine and handsome and sexy which is my type but im too young and you probably gonna be disgusted that Im 16 bye

That took a left turn quick! Haha!

But seriously, ew.

Hey there, Where do the Oompa Loompas sleep???

Ah, good question! The Oompas Loompas have a very special room within the factory where they sleep, specially designed to resemble their country of origin (minus the Whangdoodles, Snozzwangers and Hornswogglers, of course). While they sleep in shifts, the rest are wide awake concocting new creations, singing and being rather mischievous. They certainly can be a handful..

Do you think that people who drink their hot chocolate cold are disgusting?

Absolutely. Why would anyone want to drink cold hot chocolate? Ew. Just get an iced coffee instead.