How Did You Avoid Getting Sued By The Kids That Got Injured's Parents That Went To Your Factory?

...They can't be that delicious if they aren't cookies made by me.

Nobody:

Absolutely no one in the world:

You: Good morning my little chocolate chips!

..

(Ilysfm 😂😂😂)

Well, everybody likes chocolate chips and if anyone doesn't then they need their head checked.

Idk if it was you but I fr saw you walking down the street to a sweets shop with a kid and you passed me and you smelled like caramel and hazelnut or something idk how to describe it your scent blew in the wind and it smelled very sweet like dessert that's all 😂😂😂

I believe that could have been me, Charlie and I were headed to a new local candy store to scope out the candy and to have a word with the owner about selling my candy there as a strategic move - good for business.

🙄

The shade you be throwing at Alice, Mike, and Augustus on here and the way you be responding to your dad in the comments be KILLING MEEEE LMFAO YALL FUNNY AF 😭😭😭😭

And when mad hatter was yelling at you and Edward through your asks and you were like "oh..." I died. And Some girl said you get her wet and your dad said he hope they ain't a minor, please come get your dad. It's the chaos for me 💀💀💀

You know what they say, if you don't like my shade then step out of my shadow. That Alice is something, though. A drunk. Hmph.

As for my dad, unfortunately there isn't much I can do to deter his behavior.

You should build restaurants inside the factory for the Oompa loompas like McDonald's or something xD

No I should not! Do you have any idea what's in McDonald's burgers? They chop up little aborted fetuses and serve them to YOU in their food. Ew.

When Mike ran across your television room and knocked your oompa loompas over you should've took your cane across his forehead and knocked his ass out. Deadass

As hilarious as that sounds I think mumbler learned a bigger lesson after hopping into the machine, a probably permanent one he won't forget.

I'm cold. That's it. That's what I've been feeling all day.

Aww, maybe you should drink a cup of hot chocolate. That always warms me up!

What do you like to eat besides candy. I’ve always wondered if you ever ate anything besides sweets 👀

Surely you didn't assume that I eat candy for every meal, my dear?

I enjoy steak, fish and vegetables quite often. Turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce are a favorite. Tropical fruits too. Oh, and popcorn! Except that's kind of a hassle to eat, those little kernels can be so darn annoying!

But can you imagine the state my health would be in if I ate candy every day? That's a horrible idea.

Goodnight!

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Dear, tumblrs. If you have asked a question or commented on something of mine and I haven't responded, I am terribly sorry. My asks are backed up and I get at least 20-45 notifications at a time, some of which I hadn't noticed until this morning while eating my breakfast. It's a really fast pace to maintain between answering questions and running the factory.

Heh....so sorry.

It's slave labor cause the oompa loompas were taken out of their country and now working for you, you know that right??

Of course not! Don't be ridiculous. It's only slave labor when you're taken forcefully and forced to work against your will for no wages. That goes against my code. The Oompa Loompas agreed to come work in the factory because they would be living in better conditions and would have their precious cocoa beans in trade for their work. It was a business agreement, which is the same as a verbal contract. How you could imply such a nonsensical accusation with so much confidence and very little knowledge is entirely beyond me.