I’M SO FED UP WITH THIS SICKNESS BROOOOOOO CAN I GET BETTER ALREADY I CANNOT EMBRACE MY FULL POTENTIAL

compulsive heterosexuality is truly one of the worst things you could ever experience not only as a lesbian, but also as a feminine woman. i have been a christian for as long as i have been existing in this planet—raised with catholic knowledge, scriptures, grew up with religious family—therefore, i always thought that women are only meant to be with a man as they are meant to be with a woman. women are meant to submit, to be whoever i am today, while men are meant to protect; to which i do not mind because being feminine is amazing, being feminine is special! it makes me unique, it makes me powerful. i wouldn’t mind being clingy to you, i wouldn’t mind cleaning the dishes for you, i wouldn’t mind being left alone at home for you to come back home with our children, but i always find myself in tears whenever i try to envision myself with a man.

you know this by now but it’s been a year since i assembled the puzzle pieces of my identity and finally figured things out like yes, i am lesbian and i have never been so happier to finally call myself one! i am sending all of my love to all the bisexual people; it is a label that i was once comfortable identifying myself with until i have felt that i know i could be something more than that. most of the time, i am super confident in my skin. sometimes, i feel like throwing up.

the moment i find a man attractive, i get so confused that i start to despise myself ruthlessly. a part of me is terrified, deeply terrified.

will i ever be happy with the decisions i make in my life if i keep on swaying back and forth like what i’m doing today? do i really like girls? am i just playing with their feelings the whole time? are they an experiment all along? am i an experiment? am i actually a lesbian when i end up finding certain men pretty? what if my sacrifices for being bold boils down to the drain and at the end of the day, i’ll settle down with a man? will i actually burn just because i am being who i really am? will i be that kind of a lesbian who will be despised for having this compulsion? maybe i do really like men? will all of this boil back down to me being a christian? will my parents tell me that they told me so and i’ll find myself crying, telling myself that they were right all along? am i meant to suffer from the constant loop that repeats all of these questions again? the moment i find a man attractive and try to envision myself leaning my head against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his; i can never see the same sparkle in my eyes when i love a woman. what am i? who am i, truly? does it ever get better?

this is my biggest fear. you could bring me cockroaches; the insects i always despised since i was a kid, you could take me to the tallest building since i am terrified of heights, but to constantly doubt who i really am and realize that i still haven’t figured it out yet is what would kill me.

Tina: But I also know that there's a lot about me that I just haven't really figured out yet. And it feels wrong to- to then, um, sign you up and rope you in with all of it without really figuring it out myself first and, and, and laying it out on the table. But I don't want you to think that I don't like you! Like I- I wanna keep going on dates with you, you know? Again and again.

Bagi: That’s okay Tina. That’s completely okay. I get it. I don't know much about myself too.

Tina: But I'm just scared because I- I just feel like… I know and I know we're all still figuring each other out but it's not an excuse and I just feel like if I were to ask, you know, a big question and all. I feel like I would want to… have it all out on the table, you know? Um.

Bagi: That’s okay. I can understand you- I mean I was just taking you on a date.

Tina: Oh.

Bagi: That’s okay. You don't have to think-

Tina: Oh.

Bagi: -anything big for now. Like if you're not ready I'm here we can keep going on dates together and do some stuff together. Maybe dinners and laundry.

Tina: That would be good and I'd love to hear you talk about, um, murders! Murders and stuff. And, and, and, and I’d like to, I don’t know, I could come over and you could talk about murders and stuff more often. And if you're ever unsure about anything I can help you, you know? I can at least listen. Cause your mind space it was-

Bagi: Tina, I can always wait for you to figure your things out. I'm here I'm not going anywhere.

Tina: (Sigh of relief) Okay yeah. (Softly) I like you so much and I think you're really cool and really smart. I love so much about you. So much. There's honestly, uh, there's nothing I don't like about you, you know?

Kase-san and Morning Glories

Just being with her is like a dream.

“thank god I’m a lesbian.” [analog] collage. 2025. created by me.

being a lesbian is so dumb. this girl once sent me a photo of a rat she found in a dumpster and i imagined kissing her in a botanical garden

SHE’S SO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

mari and jackie scissoring in the afterlife to spite shauna shipman idgaf anymore they’re ghost gfs haunting her and making sure she never has another good day 😁

(ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)♡

i stumbled and-

if being an awkward loser lesbian was illegal id be in prison