Literally My Favorite Type Of Tweet

When I worked at a library I was looking for a spider man book when the phone rang. I introduced myself to the caller as the amazing spider man.

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

oh reigen, we’re really in it now

The big one is angry that he didn’t get fed. The little one would like some food, please? 

Both were filled at the same time with the same water, only one had oysters.

pixar really had to hardcore yank tony’s ‘i smoke a line of cocaine behind the school dumpster during second period’ character design to replace it with a facetuned love interest from a disney channel original movie . u already kno some pixar director mustve went back to the source material and noticed tony’s busted ass face and they had to scrap that shit immediately . he was literally too ugly to allow even a trace of his original face associate w/ the masterpiece they were abt to be making . rebooted his whole ass face then gave him his dark turtleneck and called it a day smh . mess

Have you had enough Kissies today?

Barry says No! He sends MORE!

this interaction kills me alksjdflasjdf also the rainbow pins 😭

This is so disgusting to watch. They are 12 year-old boys, who “matched the description” and had to experience this horror. A little boy crying scared to death and the other one telling him to stop , because he wants to stay alive is what makes me cry. Just try to understand this- they know the way cops treat black boys and trying to calm themselves down TO SURVIVE THIS. How horrifying is that?