threefandomsinatenchcoat

Latest Posts by threefandomsinatenchcoat

God I love moral delemas

Time Travel Batfamily fic idea, but instead of your typical "the world is worse" or "something is still missing" tropes, a world where Bruce's parents don't die and he doesn't become Batman is an objectively happier, better world -- at least, for Bruce it is.

Bruce Wayne is a charming, intelligent young 20-something who went to Yale or Harvard or somewhere equally impressive. He works for his father at Wayne Enterprises and has taken over as the "face" of their charity work. His parents are alive and well. Alfred is the head of a happy, busy household.

Bruce Wayne himself isn't missing a mission. He is fulfilled by the work he does at WE and for the Wayne Foundation. He has a deep sense of justice and fairness, and he uses it day to day. He isn't "missing" anything, in that sense.

But Gotham is missing Batman. The philanthropy isn't enough, because it never was. But Bruce Wayne might not realize that, or maybe he doesn't realize his ability to alter that balance. He hasn't seen that violence and pain close-up. He hasn't been driven to the edge of grief, hasn't boiled in his own pain to the point of desperation. He has his family. He has Alfred. He has meaning.

Gotham still suffers. And the Batkids have to grapple with the realization that for their city to be saved, it needs Batman. And you don't get Batman without crippling this Bruce Wayne's life and happiness. Gotham improves when Bruce Wayne's life falls apart. And you have to be the one to do that to your father, to right the timelines. You have to reach out for this happy, lighter version of your father and tell him to sacrifice more. To lose even more, and still it's not enough.

This is the man they always wanted as a father. He isn't laden by grief or anger. He is so light, so beautiful, so beloved by this city. And yet, it isn't enough.

Love when Tumblr recommends me a post based on my likes and the post is just a picture of a cardboard box filled with water

other superbat things we don’t talk about enough: the exact mechanisms that allow Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent to swap suits/personas/etc because they look so alike. is it all just posture and convincing acting? it can’t be. so they look similar at the base level — black hair, blue eyes, pale skin, prominent cheekbones and jaw. they’re both 6ft 2 (+/- 1), broad shoulders, with some small differences in build. does Bruce always sweep his hair back when he’s out of the cowl and that’s why it’s easy to tell them apart? is Clark’s chest just a bit more pronounced? who can tell them apart when they’re really selling it?

(I like to think Bruce accidentally wears his hair down and a little curly one day after patrol (killer humidity in Gotham) and the kids see a little burgeoning Superman curl and are like absolutely not. meanwhile, Clark tries on a black turtleneck for work one morning and is immediately hit by that uncanny valley feeling. Lois finds it in the garbage ten minutes later)

dapper / disheveled

my friends r so talented. rb if ur friends are talented

B is about to be disowned

Metgala had passed once again, and I can't stop thinking about how badly the Batsiblings would judge every look they see. Bruce Wayne taught them to style themselves and be dolls, NOT for this.

Dick, throwing chips in TV: Go, Kylie, go! Give us nothing!

Tim: As the most fashionable sibling out of all of us, I can't stress enough how this pains me.

Stephanie: Be fr, Cass is the most fashionable one, lol.

Damian: Not to appear as Drake's supporter, but Brown, I know that you are not joining us to judge this humiliation ritual, when you wear violet converses with yellow capri pants.

Duke: This year's topic, and the way they handle it, offend me personally. Like. Please. Cassandra, nodding: You would... Slay. Jason: God, I will slay these idiots with my sword, WHAT IS THIS? Another black suit?!

Everyone: *dead silence for a whole minute* Dick, swallowing: That is surely not what I think it is. Jason: I am starting to shoot in a minute. Tim, closing his eyes: I am speechless. Bruce Wayne on their screens, who was invited to the Metgala, but was suggested by the PR-team to wear the most boring outfit, so people would still perceive him as a bimbo with no thoughts behind his big blue eyes: *waving at the camera* Stephanie, scrolling her phone: Oh, that's not a thirst trap edits with this look on my timeline that I see. Everyone: *terrified screech*

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

Alas Dick Grayson, you would love human by Christina Perri. Those crashouts would be legendary.

Listen, its important to me that you know jason is a crier. ESPECIALLY an angry crier. It only hapens when he's with people he knows/cares about, but that helmet is there because he knew he'd be crying if he ever talked to bruce.

That voice modulator? Hide his voice cracks. That bomb? So no one ever knows that he was damn near sobbing, and he can die rather than face the embarrassment. The mask under the hood is so he can take the helmet off after so he doesn't drown in his own tears. That helmet is air tight, not bc of fear gas or joker gas, but so no one sees the water dripping out of his helmet.

Little Jaybin could and would cry once or twice on patrol to get a goon beaten extra hard and icecream after.

Jaybin crying during aruments in his later years and then getting frustrated that he couldnt get his point across clearly and seems too emotional to be taken seriously.

Jason, fully grown up, looking Dick straight in the eyes and grinning, before he bursts into tears, knowing it'll flip B's protective instincts and make Dick feel guilty. (Dick, baffled, confused, angry, guilty)

Jason, ACTUALLY crying in the vicinity of Dick and lowkey baffled at how Dick immediately jumps to fix the situation because Dick didnt do that when he was Jaybin-

Jason showing Damian to use tears to his advantage in the leauge, then being baffled when Talia and Ra's also panic when HE cries and does anything to make it stop-

Tim, who is NOT a crier having aruments with Jason then being flabbergated that Jason IS infact a crier.

Jason drugged out of his mind, sobbing and hugging Bruce, and refusing to let go. (When he was Jaybin, he could just koala Bruce, but now he can hold Bruce down with his dead weight.)

Cass, who is also a crier, being one of the only people to understand angry sobs and sad sobs, who reacts accordingly.

Damian being slowly turned into a crier because Jason taught him to use tears to get what he wants, then the pets he got snuggle him when he cry, thus pavloving him into expressing himself by crying more often >>>>>>>>>>>>

(For @chaoticbatfam and @prlssprfctn because if there are no jason fans left, we are dead)

Me: trying to do anything

My cat: 🥺

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

Jason’s-alive-reveal-au where he decides that in order to fuck with Bruce on every level he needs access to both sides of his life, so not only does he become Red Hood but he also starts working at WE and accidentally slowly starts climbing the corporate ladder. he didn’t mean to be anything more than a low-level grunt but turns out he fucking rules at this job, and it all comes to light because thinking he wouldn’t be important meant he didn’t even bother using a fake name, and eventually Tim’s in his office like, running through promotions that he needs to approve for some of the higher positions.

Tim, seeing ‘Jason Peter Todd’ as one of the names on the list:

Tim: *narrows eyes*

Lucius, spotting the name: ….oh. what do you want to-

Tim: give him the promotion.

Lucius: ….give the promotion to the person using Bruce’s dead son’s name?

Tim: if he gets the promotion he’ll have to attend the monthly board meetings. i want to watch whoever this is try and get away with that. we’ll tear him apart.

Tim thinks he’s being real funny up until Jason fucking Todd walks into the boardroom two weeks later and maintains direct eye contact just daring him to freak out in front of everyone. i like to think that Bruce is also at this meeting, but he fell asleep five minutes ago so he doesn’t even notice, and Tim spends the next hour glaring daggers into the passed out man’s head for daring to leave him alone in this situation.

the thing is, Bruce probably slacks off so much at WE that even if Jason was like. in the highest position he could possible achieve in his department. he probably wouldn’t notice. Jason and Tim come to an understanding filled with spite that leads Tim to keep quiet about Jason’s revival specifically because Bruce keeps palming his work off on Tim and he wants to get him back.

eventually the family find out who Red Hood is and Tim doesn’t act surprised in the slightest. betrayed, Bruce asks why Tim would keep that kind of information from him only to immediately get shouted down with ‘-WELL MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP TO THE FUCKING STOCK MEETINGS YOU WOULD KNOW-‘

after like twenty seconds of shocked silence at the outburst Jason turns to clap Bruce on the shoulder, ‘oh right. also i run your marketing department. see you in a couple days for the quarterly report.’

(i think its also funnier if Damian was somewhat aware of the situation due to doing some kind of volunteer/internship thing at WE for school, and like two months after Tim found out, Damian was in his office with him when Jason waltzed in to hand in some papers and both Tim and Damian froze. Tim because he didn’t think Damian knew Jason and was afraid he’d snitch, and Damian because what the fuck is Todd doing in front of a family member without the helmet?!

Jason, after like a minute: Dami, i can explain

Damian, really doesn’t want to get dragged into whatever bullshit Jason’s doing, because he had enough of that in the league and doesn’t want to be held responsible by both Bruce and Talia when this inevitably blows up in their faces: you know what Todd? i actually don’t want you to.

Jason:

Jason: thats honestly fair

Tim, confused: …am i missing something here?

Jason and Damian, simultaneously: no.)

Please please please anything good, anything better than what’s going on rn

Photons

I have been watching seven kids all day long and need to project the trauma of parenting somewhere, so... Batfam quotes :D

—

Bruce, half awake in a sitting room: Please, stop.

Jason, trying to suffocate Tim with a pillow: GIVE ME THE REMOTE!

Tim: *Muffled swears*

Damian, helping Jason: WE WANT TO WATCH MEAN GIRLS!

Cass, tackling Jason from behind: OFF OUR BROTHER!

Dick: Guys please, the doctor said we had to keep Tim's blood pressure down!

Duke: Man, we need to keep all our blood pressure down, he ain't special.

Bruce: Please, don't kill your brother.

Stephanie: Guys, he stopped fighting.

Dick: OH MY GODS YOU KILLED TIM!?

Damian: Oh no.

Cass, kneeing Jason in the stomach and grinning as he falls to the ground:

Duke: Nah, I think he just passed out.

Bruce: If any of you are dead I'm going to enter a depressive episode that will result in one of you becoming Batman by the end of it.

Dick: OH MY GOD TIM COME BACK TO LIFE I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN!

Damian: DRAKE!?

Cass: I will find a Lazarus pit.

Jason: Nah, I'll just call Talia.

Duke: Y'all, he's breathin', I think he just fell asleep.

Stephanie, checking his pulse:

Stephanie: Yeah, he did. Classic Tim.

Bruce, under his breath: Thank god, I like that one.

—

Tim: Bruce, I have to tell you something.

Bruce: Yes, Tim?

Tim: . . . I'm bi.

Bruce: . . . Didn't you already come out to me?

Tim: Wait, what!? No!

Bruce: . . . No, no you did, you were... The ginger. The ginger one with arrows.

Tim: That was Dick, B.

Bruce: No, Dick wasn't a ginger, Jason was before the hair dye—

Tim: Different timeline, also that was Dick and Roy!

Bruce: Didn't Jason date Roy?

Tim: Bruce. Jason dated Roy, Dick dated Roy, they both dated Roy

Bruce: Oh, oh! Yes, of course... Wait, no, Dick was with the alien.

Tim: Kori and Dick broke up, Bruce.

Bruce: No, he was with the— the kryptonian.

Tim: Bruce, that's you.

Bruce: No, no, Connor.

Tim: Nobody in this family has ever dated Kon, and he's my friend!

Bruce:

Bruce: You aren't dating Connor? Oh, yes, you are with... Stephanie.

Tim: She and I broke up, she's with Cass now, I'm dating Bernard!

Bruce: The... Speedster?

Tim: Oh my god, Bruce, this isn't complicated... Bart is the speedster, Bernard is a human, regular human, not a vigilante or anything, and he's my old high school friend. We are dating now.

Bruce: Oh, yes. Okay. Sorry, I haven't updated the chart since Jason...

Tim: You had a chart to keep track of your kids dating history? When you had two kids!?

Bruce: Dick was complicated, and Jason dated a girl named Rena.

Tim: Again, different timeline, Bruce, they got back together in this one though (because op said so.)

Bruce:

Bruce: What?

Tim: Rena and Jason are dating but Jason also occasionally dates Roy at the same time, Dick is gonna get back together with Kori eventually, we're just waiting for the writers to get their sh&# together, I'm with Bernard, Stephanie and Cass are dating, this isn't a complicated thing, at all.

Bruce:

Bruce: I need to update my charts.

—

TV show host: So, can you introduce your kids for us?

Bruce:

Bruce: Yes, uh, of course.

Bruce, pointing to Dick: My eldest, Richard Grayson.

Bruce, pointing to Tim: My second, Jason— wait, no, he's dead. That one died.

Tim: Please never mistake me for Jason again, I just had several flashbacks.

Bruce: Yes, sorry, no, this is my third son, Tim.

Bruce, pointing to Cass: My daughter, Cassandra, she likes art—

Cass: No, ballet.

Bruce: What? No, Tim likes ballet.

Tim: I hate being the middle child so much.

Damian: Technically Cain is the middle.

Cass: No, Tim likes skateboards and dungeons and dragons.

Bruce: Okay, haha, sorry. So, uh, my youngest...

Damian:

Bruce: That I...

Damian:

Bruce: Adopted..?

Damian: WHAT!?

Bruce: Wait, no, Jason was Talia's, so—

Damian: HE WAS FOUND NEAR A DUMPSTER!

Bruce: Oh, then Tim—

Tim: SERIOUSLY!?

Dick: Bruce this is actually concerning.

Bruce: One of you I made! Cass!?

Cass, visibly concerned: Really?

Bruce: Okay, so, uh...

TV host: Should... Do you need a moment?

Bruce: No, no, I have five children— wait, no, six. Wait, did I adopt Duke?

Dick: No, he lives with his Mom again, she got better, but you didn't even adopt me so why's it matter?

Bruce:

Bruce: I FORGOT TO ADOPT YOU!?

Dick: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FORGOT!?

Tim: I hate this family...

Cass, patting his back:

Damian: At least he remembered your names!

Jason, laughing from his apartment:

—

Tim and Cass sitting at the bat computer:

Bruce, walking over to press a kiss to Cass' hair:

Tim: ???

Bruce, walking over to Cass, patting her shoulder: Good work, son. Get to bed soon.

Cass: . . ?

Bruce, walking away:

Tim: Did he..?

Cass: Again. Yes.

—

Bruce, to Alfred: Alfred, please, I need help with Christmas again.

Alfred: Master Bruce, you have itemized lists of each villain, you can recall them all and memorize all their weaknesses and lives. You cannot do the same for your own children?

Bruce: Please, Alfred, don't make me feel bad. One of them asked for an explosive and I don't know which!?

Alfred: That could very well be several of them...

—

Bruce, walking into the kitchen where all the kids are sitting: Alright, come on Tim, time for patrol.

Tim: Why aren't you going with Robin?

Bruce: You are Robin?

Damian: Father, I am Robin.

Bruce: Why'd I do that?

Damian: What do you mean WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?

Dick: I did that, actually.

Bruce: Why? What did Tim do?

Damian: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

Bruce: Nothing, nothing, I just... Tim was Robin, last I checked.

Jason: Bruce, what's the order of your Robin's?

Bruce:

Bruce: It... Okay, Dick,

Dick: Yes..?

Bruce: Then... Stephanie.

Jason: Wow.

Bruce: What!? She died! Two of you died and came back!

Damian: I also died.

Bruce: What? No, you came after Stephanie.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: Alright, so, Dick, Stephanie—

Jason: REALLY!? I did not die in your arms for this. I wish I died in someone's else's arms. F-#% you.

Bruce: No, no! I'm sorry, you're right, Dick, Jason... Then... Alright, Stephanie and Damian came somewhere, obviously, but Tim is my Robin now! Right?!

Tim: Bruce, Alfred and Dick gave Robin to Damian after you got lost in the time stream.

Bruce:

Bruce: Oh. Uh. Okay... Damian, time for patrol—

Damian: No, I'm going with Richard tonight. You may have DRAKE!

Bruce: No, I'm sorry, son, please.

Damian, storming out:

Bruce, chasing after him: Please, I have had so many of you! And so many hits to the head!

Tim: How come he only ever remembers Dick's stuff?

Jason: Favouritism.

Dick: I fell on his head a lot as a kid. I also used to whisper in his ear as a kid when he slept that I would be the only child he'd ever have and love, so...

Tim:

Jason: And I'm remembered as the bad kid???

—

Bruce: You're grounded.

Barbara: ??? I'm not your kid, Bruce.

Bruce: What?

Barbara: Really? No, I'm not dealing with this, get a neurologist, Bruce.

Bruce: It's not a problem!

—

Bruce, on the phone: Hey, Jay, lad! Are you coming to the gala this weekend?

Jason: ??? I'm dead.

Bruce: What?!

Jason: No! I am legally dead, Bruce!

Bruce: Oh thank god, I thought I was hallucinating again...

Jason: Huh?

Bruce: Nothing, nothing... Wait, why haven't I brought you back to legally alive?

Jason: Hell if I know.

Bruce:

Bruce: Will you come to the gala if—

Jason, hanging up:

—

Bernard:

Bruce:

Bernard:

Bruce: Stephanie, when did you become transgender???

Bernard, trying not to laugh:

Tim: This is why I didn't want you two to meet.

—

Bruce, on the phone: DUKE THOMAS WHY AREN'T YOU HOME!?

Duke: ??? I am.

Bruce: Where?! I checked the entire manor!

Duke: I don't live with you???

Bruce: Oh my god did I fire you???

Duke: What? No? I live with my Mom?

Bruce: . . . She's alive?

Duke: B, that's... All the other kids minus Cass and Damian.

Bruce: Oh...

Duke: Get help, man.

—

Tim, eating cereal at two in the morning:

Bruce, stepping inside the dark room, blinking slowly:

Bruce: Oh, Jason—

Tim: I am so done.

—

i made a character sheet. free to use as you wish, feel free to change whatever you want XD open source ass thing. spent all of ~maybe an hour on it.

Credit: the text in the insert-image box comes from this video, and the text for the top three lines (intense, complex, fruity) comes from this post. The actual image was made with the free NBOS character sheet creator, which is a sort of dated but free and solid text-layout sheet maker intended for ttrpg style character sheet creation.

if this gets 100,000 notes then i, the worlds greatest space agency will personally shoot donald trump into the sun

Don’t think about the line “doubt comes in and meets a stranger”. Don’t think about Orpheus only doubting one thing in his life. Don’t think about him being confident enough to walk into hell, defy its king, and only failing when it was him who had to be good enough. Don’t think about him doubting not his love for Eurydice, but whether he is worthy of her love for him. Don’t think about him slowly starting to doubt whether the girl he walked into hell for would be able to walk out of hell for him. Don’t picture his face as he slowly realizes that he might not be enough. Don’t think about him finally turning around because he thinks that no one would follow him, because who is he to be a leader. Don’t think about his face breaking as he sees her standing there, and the love on her face as she fades away.

Don’t think about any of that :)

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

God please, the world need to hear this

Please please please please please put paragraph breaks between each new line of dialogue. I physically cannot get through your fic if it’s all in one giant paragraph. And use commas, PLEASE.

Prev thinks that dc is the worst fandom ever, and is absolutely not a fan of nightwing

New REBLOG Game

Just fucking lie about the previous poster

I’ll let you guess

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

Soulmate AU where you have the same soulmate through every life you have lived, but you will not always find your soulmate in every life, and they will not always be living at the same time as you.

Everyone has a mark on their wrist with their soul symbol, and a tally with the number of lives the two of you have lived together. The mark will only appear if you both are alive, and the tallies only appear if you both have met in the life.

You do not remember the past lives until you are both reunited with your soulmate and you experience something together that triggers the memory of a specific life.

Just some fun ideas that I had

This is so so so true

Get your knives here!!!

Oh my god these are such good questions

Asks That Start Off Normal But Progressively Get Dark

1- What’s your favorite color?

2- Coffee or tea?

3- If you could live anywhere and cost wasn’t an issue, where would you live? 

4- If you were a time of day, what time of day would you be?

5- What’s your phone wallpaper?

6- What’s a song that you relate to?

7- What would you do if you found a 100 dollar bill on the sidewalk?

8- Do you have any piercings or tattoos? 

9- What song would you want to get kissed to?

10- What song would you play at your funeral?

11- When’s the last time you cried?

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

13- If you could commit any crime without consequence, which crime would you commit? Or would you not commit any crime at all?

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

15- What would you do if you found a dead body in a hotel room?

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying?

17- Do you like the taste of blood?

18- If you had to lose a body part, which one would you choose and why?

19- Would you rather be frozen, burned, or drowned?

20- If there's hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there?

21- How would you dispose of a body?

22- Would you kill someone you don’t know to save someone you love?

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you?

24- Would you rather eat part of a human heart or a whole human eye?

25- What question would you ask the devil?