A Feeling: “nothing Lost But Something Missing”

Alone

Under the stars and not mistletoe, she slow danced her way onto the snow — her eyes reflected the loneliness of the moon; her lips can tell the paleness of her life’s tune.

( ayen. & eusie. )

3,024,000 light-years. across the stretched road silence drove you mouthed against my cheeks 'the universe holds no questions' in your eyes exploded a thousand uncertainties 1,209,600 light-years. it's a one in a million possibility that you feel the same as me i breathed against your skin 'i know i can't have an answer to a question unsaid' flushed across the skies my soul flew chasing my dreams of you 604,800 light-years. a spur of the moment i met your lips with mine resurfaced mantras of 'say my name like a prayer' collapsed once again with your glazed over eyes 172,800 light-years. held everything like a fragile box i gave it to you like a sacrifice 'don't make me your religion' crawled and lingered on my ears now on the finish line you casted me on fire zero light-years. picked up my own broken pieces as i puzzled through you and realize like a poisoned broken glass you never held my heart on the tip of your tongue my name never stepped past

hence, a.k.a. “Here’s to someone, ver. 2″ (eusie.)

Fourier Series: An Almost-a-year Version

a.k.a. A Series of THIS IS FOR YOU’s

[11162013] Wow. Even the wind whispers your name.

[12012013] Sometimes, when I remember that you would never love me again, I remember to love you in silence.

[01192014] And so I wrote about you while half of my heart was aching.

[02262014] I asked yo to paint me once, but you chopped me into rhymes instead.

[03312014] I should have prepared myself for this. Now you’re stuck between my heartstrings.

[05202014] And I imagine that I can hug the moon, just as I imagine that I can hug you.

[05302014] You look at me and I swear, I almost felt your eyes bleed.

[06092014] I look at you and I swear, I almost felt the monster inside of me falling for you again.

[06172014] Please know that across the room, with 50 pairs of eyes, it’s still yours that I would want to stare at.

[07092014] I try to plaster your smile on my face just so I can fairly say that your smile is still mine.

[07172014] I’m still in love with you but I bet you don’t want me to be.

[07182014] And you’re not in love with me anymore because you don’t want yourself to be.

[09202014] When will I realize that sometimes, love is never having the one you want?

[11012014] Today is the day you died inside my heart. Hopefully.

(eusie.)

i "plant your lips on my body like a flower and let them wither ii “and i’ll paint the color of your eyes anew iii “the midnight moonlight slips through my brittle bones iv “and i fall on my knees; i can’t pretend; i’m falling, and falling v “you are my favorite time of day, my favorite night of sad vii “the warmest the end of my handmade fairytale viii “lay me down on an open road; put me on the end of the rope ix “falling in love is dangerous, but falling for you is chaos x “you are an echo from a dark cave i shouldn't enter xi “you are a hole on my parachute, a fire ready to conquer xii “tie me with your breathless kiss and let me shiver all the pain xiii “the dawn will paint our skies orange but i’ll only love your glinted eyes xiv “and you’re the only one i’ll let to love me to death, to kill me further xv “you are, you are, you are my favorite sin of all” — listening to “trouble i’m in” by twinbed (eusie.)

I can’t believe...

Half smiles broken wings I am out of feathers When will I ever be whole?

Deafening silence sunken eyes It is not comforting It is not pleasant Shaking voices heavy sighs Should I just let go? Should I just stop breathing? Oh, let me scream let me cry I wonder Why am I still alive?

(eusie.)

IG : amamiya_shion9

In-se-cure

a.k.a. I want to forget your name

I turned my back away from haunted walls one night with shaking hands and eyes lost in focus, with lips startled and words buried deep within six feet down my throat. There had been a war across my horizons, among my thoughts, along with bombs exploding leaving me deaf to every “You’re beautiful” thrown against my face ever since. They see me flush in red, but burn with questions that can make every human’s words into ashes. I don’t trust what they say, because whenever I see myself as I stand in front of the mirror, I can hear my own eyes gasp. With my hands clasped to each other and tied above my chest, mouth slightly open, eyes glued to the ceiling — I started crying again. The moonlight peeped through my windows, and I think I saw your face in the dark. My knees traveled to be clenched by my arms. There was sudden heartbeat, then another.. like a continuous bang on my bedroom door. Ignoring it, I tried to forget the reason why everything seemed to be connected to you. More like I tried to find the reason why, because although they said I am worthy and I didn't deserve you, what I have been keeping in mind is when you let go in a whisper, “You just weren't enough.”

(eusie.)

The boy of my dreams turns out to be a nightmare.

Wake me up (eusie.)

things you don’t know: if he loves you back you think he might

an interview with my neighbor

part 2: macy edwards-johansson

i knocked on the door with a force that could break my knuckles as if my heart isn't enough with all its pieces crumbled to the tiles of the doorway

please don't let this one break me again

macy wasn't always home she looks for it in certain places and from a number of persons i wouldn't want to know

"home shouldn't be about the t.v. going nuts as you rest on your couch after a long day “so you sleep instead and it should be okay “home shouldn't be being aware of the bloody smoke coming from your cigarette that will blind you from living “but you choose to give in anyway because damn it, you're already dead from all these shit happening in your life “home should be sitting on the bottom of stairs with no one to calm you down “but the walls lull to you that it's okay to cry so you cry “home, to me, is when you want to be fucked up “so your home fucks you up, but in the end, it stays beside you, unbroken and full to cope up with your brokenness and emptiness"

she wants to be loved so fucking bad i don’t know if she’ll ever get to find someone who’ll make her feel home

macy didn't respond on the first to three banging on the door

i hoped she's somewhere inside sleeping peacefully and not anywhere hugging her fingers on bottle necks, getting damn wasted

i shouted her name and then her house shrieked her door slowly danced open, revealing macy with droopy eyes

before i can even drop a phrase, she whispered gently — and i saw the universe glowing in her eyes —

“i finally found my home”

and that was all i needed for today

(eusie.)