E.e. Cummings, From “because It’s Spring” (in 73 Poems), Complete Poems: 1904-1962

i "plant your lips on my body like a flower and let them wither ii “and i’ll paint the color of your eyes anew iii “the midnight moonlight slips through my brittle bones iv “and i fall on my knees; i can’t pretend; i’m falling, and falling v “you are my favorite time of day, my favorite night of sad vii “the warmest the end of my handmade fairytale viii “lay me down on an open road; put me on the end of the rope ix “falling in love is dangerous, but falling for you is chaos x “you are an echo from a dark cave i shouldn't enter xi “you are a hole on my parachute, a fire ready to conquer xii “tie me with your breathless kiss and let me shiver all the pain xiii “the dawn will paint our skies orange but i’ll only love your glinted eyes xiv “and you’re the only one i’ll let to love me to death, to kill me further xv “you are, you are, you are my favorite sin of all” — listening to “trouble i’m in” by twinbed (eusie.)

You

The night skies tell me to stop wishing about you, and the stars don't shine anymore for me like how you always do.

(eusie.)

Where are you?

a.k.a. I’m drunk and I want to see you

With my hands in my pockets and lips full of cigarette kisses, I throw my shadows on the ground and pull them with me as I travel the city’s ups and downs. My eyes paint your face on every wall that sang a lullaby out of your name. I try to recall if your smile had always been like the fireworks on our every Fourth of July’s, or the sun setting on the background of every late afternoon of our summer lives. But the alcohol is making my memories vague that I also fail to know if I have ever felt those I love you’s coming from in between your lips were really meant for me.

The night sky shouldn't be dark blue but that’s how I see it, maybe because I feel the same way. And then the moon, just as I try to keep my gaze lock to its glow, start to dance. Now I realize that I have once compared you to it. I remember how your eyes sucked every constellation in the universe. I remember how they shined so bright once that I suddenly kissed you. But you became out of my reach now. I stop and suddenly lie down on the middle of the street. There are diamond rusts in my throat, and on my tongue, and it makes me miss the taste of you. I want to cry your name. The stars aren't present tonight just as your warmth is by my side. But the city train is awake; it makes everything smoky, unclear yet loud, just as my thoughts tonight, and just as the beat of my heart.

I breathe, “Alexandria…” I’m afraid I’m still in love with you, even if I haven’t figured it out yet if you ever felt the same way too. There are still a thousand things I haven’t told you. There are still a million things I want to show you. There is still a heartbeat throbbing inside my chest and it holds your name. “Alexandria,” I whisper as tears crawl across my cheeks. I think I had kept my doubts locked in my chest, and the key to their jailed bodies was swallowed by my blindness of loving you so much. But they don’t matter right now. And somehow... maybe... right now, it doesn't matter that you loved me or not. What matters is I believed you did. And it’s fine. It’s fine.

Then I close my eyes.

(eusie.)

hello. there is nothing to see here but hand-me-down treasures and half-assed writings

The lines on your palm are the road I want to travel and the place between your fingers is where I want to go; your hand in my hand is my home.

January 29, 2014 (eusie.)

the thing is, we’re screw-ups. i don’t even know why we still stick with each other. maybe because we know that no one else will, for the very reason that we’re monsters.

juicy (eusie.)

and suddenly, i just miss you again

I say to him, "I want your sparkly eyes each time you say love me. I hope it won't disappear." He responds with his eyes crinkling at its end, "It won't." After a while, he asks, "Why? Did you do something wrong?" I grin at him. "I fell in love with someone else." He looks at me, and I can see his eyes sparkling, "Huh, okay."

He thought it was a joke, a.k.a. “One day, in November” (eusie.)

dear winter

dear winter,

just this time, will you please stop making snowflakes? i sneeze a little too often than before. do not attempt to dance outside my windows, i will never come out and watch you. please be gone as soon as possible, i can never get pass through your time.

just this time, i want you to not kill me again because every year when you are here, you kiss me with your snowflakes and i feel bliss even if i know you’re also kissing someone else. you whisper sweet nothings against my windows and every morning i wake up and see them as lyrics of a daylight lullaby; i smile even if i know in the evening, you’ll still give me nightmares. you control me and poison me to just give my every minute to you when you are here.

just this time, please stop… because just when everything comes to the most freezing moments of mine, you leave and i die; i don’t want that to happen again.

so please, just this time…

just this time… i want you to go away.

i am restraining myself on missing you as i run out of breathe each day. come back when i am when i want to feel frozen.

(eusie.)

Mga pekeng bulaklak

a.k.a. I hope we were monsters instead

For the first time, I tasted nothing from your lips and it was supposed to make me feel scared. You asked me what it feels like, I replied, “Like fairy dust” — “sweet as a fantasy dripped in purple paint, brushed against the canvass of my tongue.” And I made you smile. And I was supposed to be guilty.

For the 22nd time, your lips still tasted like alcohol. Damn, you just couldn't make my heart flutter. But I asked you what it feels like, and I hear you say —  “Like a reckless night that should trouble me but it doesn’t, instead it hushes my clamorous thoughts.” And I gave you a smile. But it wasn't really for you.

(eusie.)