I Hate When People Ask Me About My Preference But I Don’t Understand Their Preference Level. Like Yes

my mom didn't raise a quitter but she did raise a procrastinator

Well now I gotta try it-

ha?

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot” in their ask box

“In 1404, King Taejong fell from his horse during a hunting expedition. Embarrassed, looking to his left and right, he commanded, “Do not let the historian find out about this.” To his disappointment, the historian accompanying the hunting party included these words in the annals, in addition to a description of the king’s fall.“

LMFAOOOOOO rip to that guy

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

What if Legolas was in Rivendell at the same time Thorin and his company were and just… decided to tag along for a bit bc hey, he was going in that direction (home) anyway, might as well have some company?

Just imagine

A dwarf: *comments about the elves’ vegetarianism after they’ve left rivendell*

Legolas: you do know they were fucking with you right? Elves are not vegetarian.

The dwarves: *suprise pikachu face*

———————————————

The company +bilbo+legolas: *getting chased by orcs Again*

Legolas: i though ya’ll said this was supposed to be a secret quest?!

——————————————-

The group: *breaks into beorn’s house to hide*

Beorn: why are there dwarves in my hou- LEGOLAS WHY ARE YOU HERE?! I’M NOT HIDING YOU FROM YOUR SIBLINGS AGAIN!

Legolas: ✌️

———————————————

Gandalf: *leaves the group at the edge of mirkwood forest while speaking cryptically *

Legolas:

Legolas: i know you’re going to do something that’ll piss me off, i can feel it.

———————————————

Legolas, rolling up next to bilbo: so, thorin huh?

Bilbo: *chokes on his own spit*

Legolas: no, i get it. It’s the beard right?

———————————————

The dwarves: *get captured by the silvans*

Thranduil, to legolas after having interrogated thorin: i don’t suppose you’ll tell me what’s going on?

Legolas: nope

Thranduil: is this one of your whims again?

Legolas: mmmmaaaaybe

Thranduil: *sigh* nothing i do will change the situation, will it?

Legolas: given their head strong personalities, i highly doubt it.

———————————————

Bilbo: *gets the one ring*

Legolas: I pretended i do not see.

———————————————

Before the botfa

Thranduil: and you are sure you couldn’t have changed the outcome?

Legolas: knowing history and knowing how this world works, yeah, pretty fucking sure.

The Booping is an apocalypse but in a good way and minus the world destruction. It's been an hour. I'm not stopping.

Beware!