I Actually Never Ever Want AO3 To Be Censored Bc Nothing Is More Fun Than Reading The Tags On A Fic And

What if Legolas was in Rivendell at the same time Thorin and his company were and just… decided to tag along for a bit bc hey, he was going in that direction (home) anyway, might as well have some company?

Just imagine

A dwarf: *comments about the elves’ vegetarianism after they’ve left rivendell*

Legolas: you do know they were fucking with you right? Elves are not vegetarian.

The dwarves: *suprise pikachu face*

———————————————

The company +bilbo+legolas: *getting chased by orcs Again*

Legolas: i though ya’ll said this was supposed to be a secret quest?!

——————————————-

The group: *breaks into beorn’s house to hide*

Beorn: why are there dwarves in my hou- LEGOLAS WHY ARE YOU HERE?! I’M NOT HIDING YOU FROM YOUR SIBLINGS AGAIN!

Legolas: ✌️

———————————————

Gandalf: *leaves the group at the edge of mirkwood forest while speaking cryptically *

Legolas:

Legolas: i know you’re going to do something that’ll piss me off, i can feel it.

———————————————

Legolas, rolling up next to bilbo: so, thorin huh?

Bilbo: *chokes on his own spit*

Legolas: no, i get it. It’s the beard right?

———————————————

The dwarves: *get captured by the silvans*

Thranduil, to legolas after having interrogated thorin: i don’t suppose you’ll tell me what’s going on?

Legolas: nope

Thranduil: is this one of your whims again?

Legolas: mmmmaaaaybe

Thranduil: *sigh* nothing i do will change the situation, will it?

Legolas: given their head strong personalities, i highly doubt it.

———————————————

Bilbo: *gets the one ring*

Legolas: I pretended i do not see.

———————————————

Before the botfa

Thranduil: and you are sure you couldn’t have changed the outcome?

Legolas: knowing history and knowing how this world works, yeah, pretty fucking sure.

Not to say that the burning of the Library of Alexandria was in any way less tragic or devastating, but I'm kinda tired about the way it's all presented. Sure it was something horrible that Caesar did, but can we talk about a different thing that doesn't even get mentioned? Can we talk about Nalanda with its 9 million books that burnt for three entire months? Can we talk about the scope of this cruelty that the western world just seems to be ignorant of? It happened in the 1190s when invader Bakhtiar Khilji ordered the whole place be set on fire, enraged that Buddhist monks possessed more knowledge about medicine than his own doctors.

accidentally indulged in too much ‘me time’, turns out i’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities

I wasn’t crazy about this piece so I wasn’t intending on publicly posting it again, but it keeps getting stolen every five minutes so I figured I’d put it here so people at least know who to attribute the original thing to lmao

[Digital illustration, Procreate App, 2020]

my mom didn't raise a quitter but she did raise a procrastinator

"I'm just gonna squeeze in here".

(Source)

still the most under appreciated joke in recent hermitcraft history...