— ꒰ CITY(E)SCAPE !! ꒱ Shuji Hanma

[id: a soft purple userbox with a purple border on the left of the picture of a boel full of various gemstones and crystals, and purple text that reads “this user really loves rocks, crystals, and other minerals”]

WARNING!!!!

People, please be careful. There are also people tracking children and people and putting bids on them based on their profile pictures on whatsapp, tracking and kidnapping them. Especially young children, so please be cautious, especially parents who have their children as their profile pictures.

Please pass this on to everyone so that they are aware of the danger. I don’t how it is all around the world but I know it can’t just be here so please please spread the word. Thank you.

[id: a light pink userbox with a pastel pink border, and pastel pink text that reads “this user has a crush on one of their comfort people and has no idea how to tell them”. on the left is an image of a  pastel pink heart emoji. /end id]

♡ It's The Most Wonderful Time-out! ♡

A/N: is this late? 100% but it's time for some CHRISTMAS HYBRID TIMEEEEE!!! A HUGE thank you for the patience from my amazing sunshine anon for this commission <3 Personally I think the title is hilarious, do- do you get it- the most wonderful time of the year- plz laugh-

Warnings/content: 2nd person (you/yours), fem pup hybrid reader, puppy's first Christmas! Grumpy ol' man Vendetta Leon, Leon is referred to as daddy! Reader in time-out, visiting the hybrid park, angst and fluff, mentions and descriptions of gore, all gets resolved in the end!

Word count: 7,430 approx.

┈•┈┈•┈୨୧┈•┈┈•┈

┈•┈┈•┈୨୧┈•┈┈•┈

December 23rd

Time out. Oof, those words. They were enough to take the swing right out of your tail. 

This definitely wasn’t your fault. On the scale of 1-10 you’re like, a -5 when it comes to being in trouble. Totally. It wasn’t your fault it had rained, or your fault you wanted to jump in the the new layer of snow and got all wet and muddy, the only part that might have potentially, potentially been on you was tracking said mud and sleet through the living room. The living room rug to be exact. The rather expensive, difficult to clean because daddy sometimes ‘truly can’t be fu- bothered’ rug. That was the one rule; he could deal with mess on the floorboards, the tiles, but not the carpet. The stains were just too hard to get out.

Leon could handle dirt and grime absolutely, he’d take it over guts and gore any day of the week, public holidays and Christmas included. But coming home from work after a long day, hands stinking of gunpowder and grease, only to find muddy streaks and pawprints all over the rug was his last straw. The coffee machine in the office had been broken, his magazine clip had taken three different attempts to click into place despite the million times he’d done it before, and the armoury’s practice range had been down for maintenance. This was just the gasoline flavoured icing on his flambe flaming shit excuse for cake. 

Woosh. Fire. 

So, there you were. Plopped back into your pen, favourite squeaky toy just out of reach sat beside Leon’s chair as he scrolled through whatever’s on his phone. Teddy was right there, all worn out fluff and stringy neck ribbon, you were being taunted! This was torture, punishment of 

the worst degree. The only thing that would make it even more awful was going to bed without a kiss goodnight. But even Leon wasn’t that cruel.

Don’t get it twisted, he was feeling guilty about this too. The face you made when he walked through the door told him plenty. Big, round eyes, head bowed and tail anxiously thumping. You knew you’d gotten carried away. But you also knew better. And it’d been so long since he actually disciplined you. This was long overdue, half chewed toys left sopping wet in the bath after tub time, weeks of chased squirrels and rabbits, staying up way past your set bedtime. This was what really sealed the deal though. So, you do the time, you do the crime.

Even now he could feel your eyes boring into the back of his head, like two teary, glossy lasers set to melt his old hardened heart. Every half-hearted thump of your fluffy tail, every scuttle of your nails against the floorboards as you got comfortable, every tiny whimper you seemed hesitant to let out. Not to mention your poor attempts at being ‘completely and totally cool’ with your timeout since he often caught you staring up at him through the bars, eyes following each swipe of his fingers over his phone screen. And when he craned his neck to check on you, you were swiftly looking in the opposite direction, swearing you weren’t just tracking each of his movements. How couldn’t you though? You were obsessed with your owner, Leon was your daddy at the end of the day no matter how many play pens or crates he had to put you in so you’d behave.

 His poor princess. You were killing him, really. He’d survived well over 15 years of bioterrorism just to die at the hands of his pup-hybrid’s big wet pathetic gaze. Could flood a village with the amount of tears you shed a week, but he loves you and that tender heart of yours.

The real question was how much longer could either of you take? Leon knew it was a ‘you do the crime, you do the time’ type of deal, but was this truly teaching you anything other than how to master your pouty bottom lip? You’re his favourite fluffball, fuzzed up and huffy, chuffing and rolling over onto your back like you’re ready to play dead if it gets you out. 

And honestly? He was caving. He was only a man after all.

You’d softened him, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Three years ago he’d have scoffed at the thought of even owning a hybrid, let alone being this attached. But now you were glued to his side. Now he just felt like an old man, worn and tired, your sunshiney attitude and warmth had thawed through him like no heater had. He’d been frostbitten before meeting you, whether he’d known it or not.

He couldn’t bear it. Yeah, time was up.

So his heavy footsteps muffled through socks padded across the floorboards to you, although you tried to act like you didn’t care (and failed miserably). It was pretty obvious how much this mattered to you, because your tail was whipping something fierce, so hard it had your hips wiggling. 

“C’mon, darlin’. Think you’ve learnt your lesson.”

Those big eyes pierced his very being and soul as you gazed up at him from behind your lashes, ears all floppy and face streaked with past tear tracks. God, you’d been crying over this too? Might as well just rip his heart from his chest and stomp on it. 

Even as he turned around and sat back down on the couch, looking over to you expectantly, you seemed to hesitate at first. Glancing at the spot where the rug had once sat in the centre of the living room, right in front of the coffee table, with guilty furrowed brows. Then it was back to looking at Leon, back to melting him with those heartbreaking watery eyes.

“Oh, my sweet puppy.” He couldn’t help but croon as you made guilty little steps over to him, every tap of your feet filled with shame, tail swaying with embarrassment. You were a walking heap of emotions, and he was ready to scoop you up and put you back together. “Here she comes, there we go. Tough day for our girl.”

You’d missed it, oh how you’d missed it. At your heart you truly were just a puppy, in need of the loving praise and sweet words that only he could provide. You weren’t the mushiest pup in the litter, but there was nothing like a good hug from your daddy. That much was clear from the way you melted into Leon’s body as soon as you were sat in his lap, your tail thumping delightfully against his knees while you burrowed into him. Paws kneading his shirt so you nestled into him just right.

“I know it was rough, honey. M’ sorry. But sometimes daddy has to discipline you, y’know?” the thick pad of his thumb encased your chin just enough to tilt your gaze upwards, his hand sliding over the curve of your face so he could wipe your tears away. “And it hurt, didn’t it?” “Yeah..” “So next time you think about stepping on the rug with muddy feet, you’ll remember how much we both hated this, and you won’t do it, isn’t that right?” “,,Yeah.”

“That’s right, baby. My poor girl.” That last statement came out as a small sigh, rubbing the soft fuzz of your floppy ears tenderly between his fingers. Even now as he gave you a talking down your tail never stopped thumping against his leg. 

No matter what, you loved him. That must’ve been why they called it puppy love. And it made his heart ache something fierce. You were too good.

Leon felt like the worst daddy in the world sometimes, he wasn’t gonna even try to lie about that. Sometimes he scratched behind your ears too hard, or you didn’t understand one of his jokes and ended up getting pouty and upset, sometimes he didn’t throw the ball right or pick out the right snacks. But all of that was nothing compared to the biggest issue.

His intoxicated escapades were at the very top of that list. 

Raids of the fridge and mumbling to himself, slumping his jacket off only to pass out on the edge of his bed. Leon knew you didn’t like when he got drunk, it was probably what hurt him the most about all of it. Not the gunshots echoing through his skull when his shot glass hit the table, or the recoil of a pistol wracking his shoulder when he ran into a wall too hard. 

No, it was the look on your face.

How you seemed to curl yourself back into your pen, watching with a lowered head and a hesitant gaze, tail somewhat tucked. The foggy memory of the face you pulled when he was too rough petting you or spoke too loud while sloshed. That’s what ached, what truly stung like a bitch. 

He was supposed to be the one protecting you, caring for you, and because of his own problems now you’d seen a side of him he never wanted you to. He’d made your hands awaken to the crack of eggshells beneath them when you stepped towards him, you were familiar with the shell’s powdering like that of bullet sulfur, and inner yolk gold as the streaks in his hair back then. Knew of the blood that sometimes hung in the middle of it all, and in the worst scenario the curling of bones left over. 

But still at the end of the night, drifting between a muddled haze of asleep and awake, he’d hear you make your way slowly towards his bed, the mattress dipping when you climbed up and curled up at the bottom of the duvet. Because, despite it all, you wanted to be close to him.

 Because, despite it all, he was your person. So he dumped what he could of the remaining bottles, stashed a few shitty cans for safe keeping in case things got too hard, and stopped being a regular at Jerry’s bar. 

He was doing it for you, maybe only for you.

Now he had you sat in his lap, buried in his shoulder and curling in as small as possible. Trying to become one with the skin of his arms and fabric of his shirt. You wanted to crawl up under his jacket and be carried as one with Leon, you’d do it if you could. 

He had to do something.

“What am I gonna do with you, huh?” Oh, that voice. Despite the icy weather outside, despite the cold that hung in his chest from time to time, his tone always tried to be warm with you. Soft. like those mutts learning to gentle their snarls and unclench their teeth, to stop growling. He was so used to the sneering, the sarcasm, snapping when someone got too close or said the wrong thing to him. But you were so fluffy, so fuzzy to the world, so unaware and loving. So he had to wear a muzzle, and he learned how to adjust.

Why? Because he couldn’t be a violent dog if he had his very own puppy. “I dunno..”

A lopsided smile spread across his cheeks at the look on your face, chin tilted and tail squirming as you look to him. There’s still the matter of that guilt still hanging in your face, stray strands like an unruly mop of hair.

“I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna squeeze ya.” While you were still processing Leon’s comforting words and the lull of his voice, he was quick to gather you in his arms and press you tight to his chest. Immediately you were bathed in the scent of his shirt, the natural smell and comfort of his body. A warm blanket of safety had been draped over your blankets in the form of his presence. He squeezed your body nice and close until you squeaked out a yapped laugh, the fluff of your ear squished against his stubbled cheek.

“Oooo, good squeeze. Get all those nasty feelings outta you.”

“Daddyyyy, you’re smooshing me!” These were the moments he really cherished, ones where your tail swung and you squirmed in his arms with that smile of yours.

“Awww, well that’s how you know that it’s a real good squeeze,” His voice waved every time he swayed you slightly from side to side, bringing bubbly giggles from your throat that drifted up into the air and popped right at his heart. “It’s like juicin’ an orange, gotta shake and twist you till you’re all better.” “I don’t wanna be juice!” You howled out playfully, throwing your head back like the dramatic little thing that you were.

“Oh you don’t huh? Then you gotta keep smiling for me baby, it's just that simple.” He pushed his cheek up against your own. God, how he loved that smile, the sound of your tail thumping across the fluff of the sleek couch. There you sat, cute as a button, curled up atop his legs and snuggled in close like the sweetest, softest stuffed animal. “Tell you what, we get you one last snack, and then we’ll tuck you in, and tomorrow we’ll go into town. Catch everything before it all closes up.” 

You were already half asleep in his arms by the time he’d finished talking.

December 24th

Planning the day out was the easy part, executing it was hard. Not only because Christmas was right around the corner which came with its own chaos, but because you were- well, you. Overly loving, over committed, overly loyal and lovely you. Leon swore you must’ve been the cutest looking leech or tick in a past life.

You insisted on putting together an outfit that yes consisted of your favourite bows and daddy’s most comfiest shirt that smelled like him. But even his ‘I’ve worn the same blue shirt for 3 years’ ass could tell when things didn’t coordinate together. So he did the gentlemanly and not-wanting-you-to-look-like-a-disaster-oustide-ly thing and helped you into some cute fleecy stockings, complete with a soft sweater and your favourite skirt. Gloves of some sort were a must, you had a thing for pawing at whatever you could get your hands on no matter how cold it was, and you were in your fuzziest boots. Adorable. Like a Christmasy puffball, a fluffy ornament. All you needed was a pair of angel wings and a halo and you’d be ready for the top of the tree. 

“Look at her, look at that posture and stance. Look at that trot. That’s a well trained leash dog right there.” A smirk tugged at Leon’s lips as he watched you pad in step with him, the lacy trim of your skirt swaying whenever your foot met the sidewalk. This was the very same puppy who sat staring at him from her crate with the most pitiful eyes yesterday, rolling over onto your back like you might die from lack of attention. And now you were practically skipping, a bounce to your tail with every step.

You were lucky enough to live in a small enough part of the city. Not too urban, but definitely not rural. An outskirt area that was a nice walk away from the nearest hybrid park, long enough to get you warmed up for the real fun. And even after Leon had you off the leash you were staying in step with him, glued to his side with the sweetest smile on your face. In fact it took a little coaxing and the presence of some other pups for you to finally run around.

Leon knew you could be sociable when you truly wanted to be, but even for such a smiley little thing sometimes you simply preferred his company to anyone else’s. You could be skittish, a bit shy, and it truly threw him off guard when that part of you poked its head out from behind the warm rays of sunlight that radiated from your very being. It was adorable, really. Watching you curl into his leg with a slightly swishing tail of fluff, giving a small wave only to burrow into him. But today you were doing well, today you chose to shake out your jitters. And yes, he wouldn’t admit it, but he was proud of you.

No matter how many times Leon brought you out here, letting you experience the wonders of a normal domestic life, it never stopped being nothing short of magical to watch you shine. You had this magnetic aura that always seemed to follow you around, people were drawn to you and that sunbeam that clung to the smile on your face. The warmth that you spread to those around you. 

You truly were his sunshine.

“Leon?”

A voice he hadn’t heard in a few weeks thanks to his time off work caught his attention, and sure enough as he looked over his shoulder there stood Ingrid Hunnigan. Bundled up in a long overcoat with a recyclable cup in her hands, steam wafting from the lid in smooth swirls through the crisp cold air. Already her glasses seemed to be fogging up again, despite so clearly being cleaned only recently. Yeah, he didn’t realise how lucky he was to have decent vision despite all the bullshit he’d been through. Glasses on top of the trauma and broken bones might’ve done him in.

“Hunnigan? The hell are you doing out here?” It wasn’t defensive or aggressive, moreso confused. Intrigued, interested. It wasn’t often he actually saw her out and about. A little silly in all honesty for him to think that, Ingrid always had some sort of plans around Christmastime. Her holiday decorations, complete with lights and glowing reindeer atop a tiled roof, were nothing to scoff at.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen the snow in person, I figured I’d go for a walk to get a feel for it.” She shrugged, hands tucked into her pockets. 

He was listening, or at least some part of him was. The other part was blurring through his peripheral vision to make out the blob of colour and wagging tail that was you balling up snow as you ducked behind a tree, playing with one of the other hybrids. If you asked anyone in his line of work, they’d say Leon is a hardass. He’s committed to his work and gets his job done, and he’s passionate about what he does whether that’s good for him or not. 

But with you? With you he was just a man. Just your owner, your person. And that was such a relief.

“How’s she doing?” Ingrid asks out of habit. Every woman in the office can’t help but ask Leon about his perfect princess. And of course he laughs, shaking his head.

“Spoiled as ever. Really enjoying my time off with her.” Much needed confirmation, he knows he’d never hear the end of it if he dared tell Hunnigan about the time out incident. Best to keep it lighthearted now. Even as her face seems to.. Falter. What was that about?

“Listen, about the Phillis report..”

And then that lightheartedness was gone. If it weren’t for the icy chill that surrounded him, Leon would’ve gone a new shade of pale in the cool winter light. 

It never used to bother him. It never phased him on the outside. But now? With you?

The Phillis report. A family with a hybrid that had been a target for a bioterrorism attack. 

A hybrid.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw you smiling, the red tips of his ears pricking at your laughter, the soft crunch of snow beneath people’s feet feeling much louder now as they passed. Everyone’s footsteps were unique, every thud and crush that left a print. Evidence. Clues. Cases. Work.

A hybrid like you. Everything was muddling together into the nastiest shade of grey water freezing over into ice. He hated his job. If he could pull the pin on a grenade, jump on top of it and coat the walls of that godforsaken office in his blood and guts he would. Because that’s what they were asking from him. They were asking him to die for them. Jumping from subject to subject, he was playing jump rope and hopscotch with his morals and intrusive thoughts over one simple statement in the middle of the holidays. How the mighty so quickly fell beneath twinkling lights and atop brightly wrapped presents.

The pulse of his heart had managed to spike, thundering fast and heavy in his chest. Eyes half an inch wider, pupils shrunk.

It could’ve been you. It- “Please, don’t. I’m just- I’m trying to not think about all of that. Not with her here.” It came out a bit too rushed, like his body had forced each syllable from his lips to get a point across. A safety measure, a precaution for his well being.

Leon had already spent countless nights tossing and turning over the paranoia of you being caught in his work. Now it had gotten so bad that even the mention of a hybrid being involved in a case made him sick to his stomach.

Because what if that had been you?

His throat almost closed itself off to the world as he got his words out. Ingrid’s face was creased in worry at the state of him. How had one statement so quickly pulled him through a 180? “It’s our first Christmas together, I can’t ruin that. I can’t.” Swallowing felt like choking down gravel but he managed to nonetheless. 

Hunnigan’s gaze softened, because she knew exactly how much it would ruin a perfectly good day if she were to stretch this out. She knew you were bouncing around somewhere without even looking for you amidst the snow and differently shaped animal ears and noses. You were the centre of Leon’s world, even if he didn’t know it. But those around him, those like her and Claire and Rebecca, could see what a difference you’d made. “I get it. Just.. don’t worry about rushing it, okay? It can wait until next year.”

“Yeah.. Yeah, thanks.” Automated. Robotic. Leon felt like he was backseating his own life as he responded, hearing Hunnigan’s shoes click as she prepared to walk back to her apartment complex. The sympathy ebbing from her expression only made him feel more sick, and yes that would’ve made him feel bad if it weren’t for him being on the brink of what was most likely a panic attack.

“Merry Christmas, Leon. Take it easy.” He couldn’t get the words out, settling for a stiff nod. Work. Work, work, work. It followed him everywhere no matter how fucking hard he tried to escape it. Think of something else, he scolded himself through the deafening heartbeat in his ears. Anything else. Think of you.

Padding your way over the snow, he watched on in an attempt to calm himself down as you bounded around the park like a bunny. Maybe a fox, the type that burrowed deep under the flurries of fresh powder with yipping laughter. All he knew was you were enjoying yourself, and that was all that mattered. That was all he focused on as his breathing steadied. With a short, still somewhat breathless whistle, your ears stood on end. Immediately your head thwipped to him, and you were merely a blur of pink and white that came scampering towards him. Yeah, that got a snort. Good. He needed to laugh more.

“There’s my girl.”

And there you were indeed, practically barrelling into his leg so he let out a hoarse ‘oof’ at the impact. Complete with a whispered “Hi daddy,’ that somehow managed to calm his heart in ways no medication or therapy could. Maybe he could start you out on service hybrid training, get you certified. Nah, you were too cuddly for that. Plus the vest would have to be pink or you just might refuse to wear it. So for now, he figured he may as well treat you.

“How about some hot cocoa, hm? You were a good girl after all, took your punishment like a champ.” Lie. Big, fat lie. If the ladies at the office ever caught word of how Leon had put you in timeout he’d be getting the most gruelling of death glares. His grave would be trampled on as they sprinted their way over to comfort you. He couldn’t really blame them, though, how could you not run someone over to pet someone as precious as you. You, currently sticking your little tongue out to catch the delicate snowflakes floating down from the sky as you approached the cafe. That’s what he had to keep reminding himself of in this moment. He did all of this for you. Trying to drown out the sinking ache in his stomach as if he’d swallowed an anvil, that son of a bitch must’ve been hidden between the bubbles of his saliva, or maybe the frost that dripped from the roof. 

So yeah, he was using you as the most sweet looking distraction right now, watching your wide eyes take in the wood grain and sleek walls of the coffee shop tucked into a corner of the park. On your best behaviour as you both stood in line until you got to the register. The metal tang in the back of his throat definitely had nothing to do with the gut weight still lingering after talking to Ingrid. Nope. Must’ve been the cold.

“Yeah, can we grab one long black and one.. Hm.” For a moment Leon caught himself rethinking his decisions. Was it really the best idea to give you something that had ‘cocoa’ in the name? You guys had yet to test how you’d react to chocolate after all. Taking the time to test and breakdown what food and beverage you could eat or simply didn’t like was a meticulous process, but better safe than sorry. “Wait, that was on our testing list..”

“Daddy?” Sorry puppy, daddy’s too busy having a small crisis over whether or not you can actually drink what he was ordering for you.“Is it- It should be safe for you to have hot cocoa, right?” “Daddy.” This time it was flatter. Unimpressed.

“I mean you haven’t had a bad reaction to anything yet despite being part puppy but, it’s technically chocolate to some degree so-

“Daddy!”

The tugging at his wrist was enough to get his attention back on you, the draw of your big dewy eyes and scrunched nose luring him in like a fish to bait.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” “Turn brain switch off.” 

Sometimes he thought you were pretending to be as curious and innocent as you are, because you so easily sensed when he was anxious or worried. Like an instinct. Sure, he loved you to bits, but you weren’t the brightest bulb in the- light store? Batch? He’d come up with a better analogy later. Either way, the point stood. And yet you always did that little head tilt when something seemed off. That bulb flickering to life.

“Right, puppy. Daddy’s turning the overthinking switch off.” Leon reassured as best as he could. And it seemed to satisfy. “Good daddy.”

He couldn’t help but snort again at that. “Thanks, baby.” Being praised for his minute efforts in managing his thoughts by his very own puppy hybrid. By the time you hit the register he was still smiling despite the storm in his head. “One long black and a hot cocoa, please.” 

But oh, how quickly it faded into thunder clouds. Even as he gave the barista his name for the order and walked over to wait for your drinks, it lurked over him. A sickening thickness in his throat, like tar tobacco and nicotine had clogged his windpipe. He was on auto pilot when he collected the recyclable cups and placed one of them into your eager hands, not recognising his own voice as he warned you about it being hot.

Leon was stuck between reality and dissociation, his feet leading both of you on the path back home that you’d taken enough times to have memorised. And even as you blew on the surface of your cocoa through the spout of the cup’s lid, you could see it in his eyes. That distant look. Deflated, the same as when you chewed on your favourite squeaky toy too hard and it popped.

“Daddy? You’re all droopy.”

Your voice was high and puzzled, all floppy ears and arched brows in confusion. Did he not like the park? You’d had a wonderful time making snow angels and bounding through the white powder like sweet icing sugar atop a winter cake. Maybe daddies just didn’t do parks well, like how you didn’t do the vet too well.

“Sorry, sweetheart. Daddy’s just thinking about things.” It had him staring out so far his eyes hit the end of the sidewalk, through the ice and snow to the cement. One hand held your leash, the other swiping past his lips. Hoping to wipe away the residue of his frown. 

It didn’t work. “But the switch..” Oh, don’t give him that tone. So heartbroken, so worried. It broke him.

“I know, I know the switch honey.” Already he was rubbing over the crease between his brows. This conversation couldn’t happen, not here and not now. “But sometimes- sometimes it’s not that simple, you know? Sometimes the switch doesn’t work.”

You supposed that made sense. Still, you couldn’t help but wonder. And pry, just a smidge. You could be a little pushy and shovey, whether you meant it or not. “Well, whatcha thinking about?”

What wasn’t he thinking about was the real question. It was all blurring together.

He simply shook his head. Made the bangs of his hair sway when he did. “Don’t worry about it, pup. It’s a conversation for another time.”

Well, that didn’t seem right to you. Usually Leon was so open with his feelings towards you, so you couldn’t help but nudge him. This time not with your nose or paw, but with your words. “But..”

And then his voice was lighter, as if he’d dropped the weight he’d been carrying over to one shoulder. Giving the illusion that things were better, that things were normal. But that shoulder still slumped. “Hey, weren’t you telling me something about Jill’s dog Carlos showing up on his own today? What was that about?” 

It still dragged.

At first you were very willing to tell him, the very concept of a hybrid on their own both bewildered, confused and excited you. Carlos was a big shaggy furred fella, he always played fair and shared the good treats Jill handed out.

But you knew this tactic. It was the same as when you’d ask him questions and instead of giving you an answer he’d pick up the nearest squeaky toy and suddenly you were playing fetch instead of talking. This time you were all the wiser.

“You’re trying to distract me! I don’t get it, when people say certain things you go stiff and wonky.” You couldn’t help but frown up at him. It didn’t feel fair, not knowing these things about him. A whole year together and yet sometimes he looked more like a stranger, dodging your questions and petting your ears so you’d move on. But you weren’t expecting him to furrow his eyebrows and sigh low in his chest, the way his forehead creased and nose flared. It was the same look you got before time out, only this one seemed more defensive than the last. 

“Not now, sweetheart. Please.” Leon’s tone was flat, no room for argument no matter how much your wriggled and squeezed your body between the cracks. Your tail’s wag deflated, slowing to nothing more than a slight sway. The snow felt a little colder after that.

December 30th

Christmas had been nothing short of a success in the Kennedy household, with Leon’s living room being covered in scattered wrapping paper and a whole new variety of toys in pastel colours. He was delighted. This may have been one of the few times he actually enjoyed a holiday rather than loathing it. Maybe it was because you were there, so he wasn’t spending it alone like he usually did. The way you’d spun in circles and yapped happily about it being Christmas morning.

It had been your first real Christmas ever. Your first Christmas not spent in a cage, where you got toys and ate warm meals with the man you loved, with Claire and Becca and Chris and Jill coming over for lunch under the fluorescent glow of the Christmas lights you’d insisted Leon put up. You’d sat by the tree unwrapping gifts with the fastest wagging tail Leon had ever seen, ears perked to attention and eyes wide and sparkling. He was glad, honoured really, to witness this moment of pure unbridled joy for you.

The two of you spent most if not all of Boxing Day lazing around the house in your pajamas, cuddling by the fireplace and bundling under blankets for more than a few naps. Lazy days, oh how you both loved them. Soon it was the 26th, then the 27th,so on and so on. 

Now, the christmas paper had been collected, the tree’s decorations were slowly taken down in day by day intervals, and you sat politely by the glass door to the backyard watching the snow. Leon figured if there was ever a time to truly explain to you the truth behind his career, it was likely now. A tough conversation to have, but one that needed to happen. He just couldn’t leave you in the dark like this, not any longer. 

“Hey, sweetheart?” “Hm?”

There it was. That innocent lilt, the curve of your neck as you craned to look at him. You were something too pure to be sitting on the floor of his home. You deserved mattress upon mattress like the princess and the pea, only he wouldn’t be an idiot like the ones in that book. Leon knew better than to leave under the bed unattended in case there were coyotes trying to nip at his sweet girl’s toes and tail.

Softening, that’s what he was doing. Cracking. This wasn’t going to end well and he knew it. “Y’know how daddy doesn’t like to talk about work?”

Uh oh, now you knew it was time for a serious talk. Not like when you dirtied the rug, this time you weren’t in trouble. Still you looked at him so gently, with such trust while that mountain of fluffy fur behind you swished. Because if it was serious, it was important. “Yeah.”

Leon patted the spot on the couch beside him, complete with a pretty pink bone print blanket for you to settle on, to which you trotted yourself over as dainty as could be. Hopping up next to him, a tail curled around your back. Getting yourself cozy under his arm with your head nestled right next to his chest. Listening to the steady thrum of his heart as his pulse picked up. Doing so much, yet so little, and it all comforted him.

 It was starting to sink in. He was telling you. He was opening the casket, dragging the corpse of his past through the dirt to pose for a real, living person. How was he supposed to break this to you? How did you even word his job without saying ‘I might die one day’?

“Well, that’s cause what I do is pretty dangerous, puppy. I don’t want to worry you with all the stuff I have to do.” The violence, the bloodshed, the screaming. Flashes of red that haunted his dreams, the ones you’d nudge at his face over until he’d wake up because you heard him muttering in his sleep.

“Why?” You were so oblivious to his little inner world, the one he made sure to hide from you. The one filled with guilt and shame. He wanted to keep it that way, but what choice did he have? How could he keep you safe if you had no idea what you were being kept safe from? You should be worried about what colour skirt to wear, or if your collar matches your outfit, not this bullshit. 

“Because it’s just better for you to sit and wait for me to get home at the end of the day, baby.” It was better for you to expect him home every day. 

It was better for both of you if you just always thought he was coming home.

 It made his heart break so hard his ribs snapped thinking about you sitting by the big bay window, tail flicking and throat weeping whimpers if he didn’t show up for a few days. Then weeks. Then eventually someone would have to take you in, pack up all your toys. They’d find the list he kept stashed on the top of the fridge just in case; instructing anyone who found you on just how you liked your food and which stories to whisper in your ear at night when the thunder got too loud. 

You’d never go willingly. Someone would have to leash you and tug you out the door to their car. You’d cry. You’d cry so hard your throat would die out hoarse. It would probably be Claire or Chris or Becca picking you up, he’d have to hope. The thought of some stranger from the DSO taking you from his home, your home, the home you shared together, had him swallowing down a lump. He knew you’d never recover from it. It would shatter you, after sitting in a kennel alone for so long and finally crawling out of your shell, just to lose the person you so clearly loved more than anyone else. Fuck, Leon could feel his eyes watering.

But he couldn’t do that to you. He just couldn’t. It would be the cruelest thing in the world for him to abandon you without any choice in the matter. If he were a stronger man he’d have retired by now. But he wasn’t stronger. He had no backbone when it came to his job, the government, the United States as a whole. Some fucking hero. He was more like a lapdog, breaking his neck for a board of people who didn’t give a shit about him. Taking the scraps he was offered.

“Daddy, you’re crying..” Your sad voice pulled him back into reality, where you were now taking those soft hands of yours to wipe away his tears. Wet streaks that lined the creases forming in his scarred over skin. He was getting too old for this. Too old to be bottling up these feelings for days on end. Wearing himself down for the sake of denying what he felt.

“Fuck, sorry sweetheart. It’s just.. It’s my job to keep you safe. But it’s also my job to keep everyone else safe, too. And your daddy’s been through everything, honey. Zombies, parasites, bioterrorism, war, the whole five yards. I’ve had so many people turn their backs on me or- or look to me for help for so long that it drives me crazy to even think of you worrying about me not coming home.”

How long had it been since he’d cried? Really cried? How much more could a man like Leon take? Sure he was strong, he had to be. Built up from broken beginnings on bloodied glass, shitty past relationships and world-ending catastrophes. But he was only human for Christ’s sake.

And maybe he was finally starting to sober up to that realization.

“I always think you’ll come home..”

Of course you did. Of course you, this sweet angel of a puppy girl, looked up at him with those watery eyes filled with confidence in such a statement. As if you loved him so much it almost poured from your lash line in heart shaped droplets. You had such hope despite where he’d adopted you from. Had he done that? It was odd to think about. How someone as shitty as him (in his perspective at least) had gotten you to blossom and bloom into the sweet thing you were today.

“Yeah, why’s that honey?”

“Cause you’re Leon, and Leon is the strongest person I know.”

The weight of your head now resting against his shoulder was like an anchor that stopped Leon from washing out on the beach of his despairs. He wasn’t left to drift off into oblivion, to drown in his sorrows and regrets. He had you. You had him. A hand came out to instinctively pet over the warm fuzz of your floppy ears, and he seeked out the comfort that came with your presence.

It was comforting, the quiet. Not tense or awkward. Like the waves of the ocean sloshing to a slow and serene sway after a tsunami or a tidal wave. To know you saw him as your hero, that you held him in such high regard. It made every grey hair and creased feature feel worth it. Everything he did, he did it for you. And for once it didn’t feel like a pressure, or a burden, it was a responsibility he was glad to shoulder. Like he were your knight in shining armour.

“Why’d you never tell me you went through all that stuff?” Even now as you spoke your voice was low and soft, sweet to his ears like a drizzling of warm honey right to his cochlea. Those homemade remedies for aches and pains.

Even now he found himself chuckling to get through this, an ache in his chest with each exhale. Someone had set a cinderblock on his chest, and you were mustering up all the strength in those little paws to ease it off. “And ruin what we’ve got going on right here? I wasn’t gonna risk that.”

Apparently that was the wrong answer, because now you were perked upright with the slightest of pouts perched atop your lips. Disagreement etched into your features. “S’ not ruined, dummy. It just means I get to say I love you a whole lot more.”

Now it was his turn to snort sincerely. Always so stubborn. Adorable, sweet, but stubborn. "Oh, is that so?”

“Mhm. So when things are yuck it’ll be easier to remember that I love you. Cause I’ll say it as many times as I gotta until you believe it.”

You ruined him, and not in a bad way. You took the world’s smallest pick to the world’s coldest iceberg and chipped back his layers sliver by sliver. Sculpting him back into what he once was before the world dumped cold water onto him and froze over the softness that lay within. 

Leon’s hand stroked aimlessly over the curve of your head, tracing over the edges of your hair gently. Even with the scrapes on his knuckles and bruises on his palms he always made sure to be soft with you. His voice, half cracked and brimming with affection, was quiet as he whispered back. “I love you too, puppy. You’re my best girl.”

Firewood crackled in a low, jagged white noise in the background, smoothing into a quiet simmer that cast a warm orange glow against the walls. Bathing the room in heat, one that you both let wrap around you like a safety blanket. You found haven in each other, because no matter what, you always came back to one another. Leon was your owner, after all. It was his job to ensure you had the best life, with all the comforts you could ask for and then some.

And he planned to do just that. Whether it meant dumping out all the alcohol in his house or not.

“So.. Do I get more presents?” It’s a teeny voice against his shirt that had him tilting his chin down to look at you.

“Well no puppy, the next holiday is New Years Eve. We don’t give presents then, only Christmas.” A pretty straight forward explanation, or at least that’s what it felt like to him.

“Why?” Another chirp.

His brow arched. “Cause Christmas is only once a year, sweetie.”

“Why?” And another. “Okay, we’re not starting this.”

God, just wait until you find out about birthdays. Then he’s done for.

Like my work? Consider supporting me with a commission or buying me boba! :D

Mmm…. Don’t mind me… just thinking about taking care of Nagito during the killing game.<3

.*•. —————————————————————— .•*.

Now playing - Hey Lover

Words - 3458

.*•. —————————————————————— .•*.

Imagine this. You had just expireniced what you can imagine was the worst thing anyone can ever see. You literally had to watch one of your friends (I mean, you wouldn’t really call Teruteru you friend, but still.) get executed. Not only were you in a very tense situation, like you couldn’t trust anyone, but someone fucking killed someone else, and you had to watch someone die. To say you were going through a lot would be an understatement. But, you knew you had to keep moving forward, for the sake of you and your fellow classmates.

But something else was bugging you. A certain boy who has been shown to have a very…. Deprecating view on himself. He almost got himself killed if it wasn’t for Hajime’s logic and practical thinking. He thought he had to full on kill someone else, and was about to do it, too, just so he could make others feel better. That truly didn’t sit right with you. And something else that didn’t sit right with you was the fact that you couldn’t find him anywhere in the restaurant. Something was going on and you really didn’t like it. You already saw two of your friends die, you weren’t about to see another one meet the same fate.

Just as you were about to check to see if he was just sleeping in, you saw your classmate Sōda pacing back and forth near the entrance of the hotel.

“Hey, sōda! I have a random question to ask you, are you busy?”

“Busy? Huh? Who? Me? I’m not busy, never been busy in my whole life! W-what would you like to ask?”

He tried to push the fact he was a-okay, but you knew something was boiling underneath his smiley mask.

“Have you seen Nagito anywhere around?”

“N-Nagito? W-w-who’s Nagito? Why-uh-why do you ask? Why would you never want to be around someone like him?!”

You looked at him with a suspicious glare. Yes, it did seem strange to want to be around him, but if no one else was going to, you knew you had to be the one. He always acted so nice and friendly to others, and it strangely made you want to act the same way. And yes, the thought that me might try to kill again was scary, but sometimes you just have to take risks, especially if it’s for the sake of one of your friends.

“Soda, come on, don’t say something like that. Just as Nagito would say, that’s not very hopeful of you. Hehe- but seriously, where is he. Did you do something?”

“… uh-um. I… I didn’t do anything…”

You gave him another glare, this one filled with more angry than before. The thoughts of what kinds of torchurous things Sōda could have done to him made your skin crawl. You needed to make sure he was okay.

“Sōda, if you didn’t tell me where he is and what you did to him, I’ll find a way to get it out of you.”

After a few seconds of him trying to get himself to hold back, he burst.

“Okay, okay, okay!! Please stop looking at me like that! N-Nagito is in the abandoned house… I wanted to make everyone feel safer… and it’s impossible unless that… monster is chained up. He got what he deserves for trying to-“

“Chained up?!! You sound just as bad as he was, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You actually thought that was a good idea? That’s inhumane, even to someone who put someone’s life in danger! What the fuck, dude!

You pushed soda’s shoulders, causing him to yelp in fear.

“I-I! B-b-but he- I…. I guess your right… but he put someone’s life in danger once already, there is nothing stopping him from doing it again!! You just want me to let him go off and kill someone else?! Maybe you’re the crazy one!”

“Ugh… here. Why not I make a deal. I’ll take the responsibility of watching over him 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous if you can give me the key or whatever to his chains. Sound fair? And if something happens, you can lock him and me up, okay?”

He thought for a few minuets, his hand messing around with something in his pocket.

“….. fine, I’ll agree to that. It would be more useful having someone always keeping a watch on him. Here…”

He cautiously gave you the key, which looked to be the key to a pair of handcuffs. You thanked him before quickly beginning to sprint over to the abandoned house. You didn’t know how long he must have been kept in there, it was like Schrödinger’s cat. He could either me alive, or in worse case senecio, dead. Those awful thoughts only made you run faster.

As soon as you jumped up the creaky sodden stairs and flung open the door, you were face to face with a certain fluffy, pink and white rabbit. Monomi.

“Wahwahwahhh?! What are you doing here?!”

You were honestly surprised. Did Sōda convince Monomi to stand guard here or something? Did she know the situation that Nagito was currently in? Did she know how bad did a fucking idea this was?!

“Monomi. I know Sōda probably convinced you to stand here, but please, you don’t know the true scale of this problem. Nagito’s health could probably be in danger right now, and you’re blocking people from even entering the building. At least let me by, okay?”

“WA-WA-WAH?!!? H-his health?! Is he in danger?!”

“He could be! And that’s why I really need to check on him, please let me by.”

“Eeek!! Okay! You can go by!”

With a few squeaky-toy noises as Monomi stepped out of the way, you started twards the ominous wooden doors of the main room. Something inside of you was whispering you weren’t going to like the sight ahead of you. As you opened the doors with a loud, ear piercing screech, your suspicions came true.

“…. Reader? Ah….hahaha! I never couldn’t have guessed you would be the one to come and meet me. Forgive me, due to my… restrictions, I cannot grant you my fullest hospitalities, but please, make yourself at home.”

A part of you was insanely relieved. He wasn’t dead, clearly, or hurt, or in any sort of dangerous position, which put you a little more at ease. But, he was fucking chained up!! That’s like the definition of inhumane! To chain someone up like this, uncomfortably resting on the hard floor, his shoulder must be hurting like ever living hell! Soda may have had a reason to want to put Nagito in a position where he couldn’t easily hurt someone, but this is straight up disgusting.

You were too shocked to even speak. All you could do with your body was approach him, kneeling down in front of him. He cocked his head in confusion. He may be someone who likes to think everything through and form an idea of what others may do, but he really didn’t expect you to do something like… this!

“What are you doing? Are you.. heh…. Heheheh… hahahahahh!!! No, you can’t be. Don’t tell me you feel bad for someone as revolting as me! Do you know how much of your time you would waste worrying about someone like me?”

You tried to say something… anything. Maybe tell Nagito it’s not truly, that he truly does have worth, or maybe that you were going to free him, just anything to put your mind at ease. But nothing came out. Only silence. And after a few moments, quiet sobs followers shortly by tears. It broke your heart to see your classmates, people who you thought you could trust, do such absolutely cruel things! Is this truly how humans behave when in these life or death situations?!

“Huh? Why are you crying? Am I that awful to be around that I bring you to tears with just my presence?”

All you could manage to do was shake you head. You took a could deep breaths, channeling all the willpower you had to form the strength to find the right words.

“You… you don’t deserve this… this is so cruel. How… how could someone do this to you? I…. I can’t bare to see this anymore… if we continue, we are going to turn into fucking animals. He need to come together, not tear each other apart… I will… c-can I… can I at least…”

You wanted to say that you wanted to help him feel a little better, to help him know at least one person didn’t hate him, and even cared for him, but the words couldn’t fall off the tip of your tongue.

“…. I… deserve to be treated well? Heh… are you saying I deserve hope?”

You nodded.

“Of course… everyone does. So can I… can I show you some… hope? Eh- that sounded weird-um, what I mean is, I made a deal with Soda that I-I- um, I could take care of you. At least, that’s what I want to do.”

Nagito froze. You were… were you planning on freeing him? And what do you mean by taking care of him. Were you letting him go so you could find a way to kill him? He couldn’t help but perk up at the thought. Getting killed so someone else could bring hope to others… he couldn’t think of a better idea himself!

“Of course! If that’s what you want to do, then by all means, do whatever you want!”

You couldn’t help but laugh a tiny bit, but you nodded in agreement, leaning over his body slightly to unlock his confinements. After his handcuffs came off, now was the hard part. His ropes. They would take a lot more effort to get off. So, in the mean time, why not have a conversation.

“I… I was thinking about something lately… why do you feel like you have to hurt others and yourself for the sake of everyone else?”

“Well, it’s obvious! If hurting one of a few people can bring hope to a lot more people, then it’s an easy choice to make! Especially when it’s myself. I truly have no worth, so being used for hope just gives my life meaning-“

“No, I meant did anything happen in your life to make you think this way about yourself?”

“Well, my whole life was kinda… rough. But, it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter to an ultimate like you! Wow…. Hahahah, I truly can’t comprehend why someone would be wasting their time freeing me. Don’t you know how dangerous I am? Or maybe…. It’s because you’re the ultimate hope! Ahahah…. HAHAHAH! All of this would make sense! You came to save me because you-“

“Nagito, please,” you tossed the ropes aside after finally getting them off, “don’t say such things about yourself. Please.”

To his surprise, you placed your hand on his head. Even by the littlest of touch, just a hand resting on his white hair, causes his face to erupt in a massive but light blush. But you had other things on your mind. Such as his hair. His hair looked very fluffy at first, but now touching it, it felt very matted and tangly, as if he thinks he doesn’t even deserve to take care of himself. This needed to stop. First others treating him poorly, and now himself? Good thing you knew exactly what to do. After spending this whole time collecting all the determination you could, you decided it was time to stop acting like a little baby and take charge.

“Nagito, you’re coming with me. I’m going to show you that you truly are worth something. Here, take my hand.”

As Nagito’s eyes looked up at you, he swear for a second you looked exactly like an Angel. The air around you seemed to glow and sparkle, imagining a shining halo above your head and a large pair of silky wings on your back. It was so beautiful, he felt like he could cry. He timidly reached out to you, not even thinking he deserved to touch someone as hopeful as you. As soon as his hand of in yours, you carefully helped him to his feet. He groaned from the feeling of finally getting to stand up.

“You know… the more I look at you, the more I really want to take care of you. Come on, let’s go to my cottage. I’ll run you a nice warm bath, get you some food and brush your hair. Does that sound nice?”

He was too stunned to speak at your graciousness to scum like him. But… the mroe he thought about it, the more the idea peaked his interest.

“I… heheh, if this is truly something you want, I would be a disgrace to stop you.”

You gave him a comforting smile before heading back to your dorm.

.

..

….

After a few minutes, you exited your bathroom and approached Nagito, who was sitting a bit uncomfortably on your bed. His posture was stiff, as if he was too scared to more or even breath as to not ruin your bed. He was already so lucky, he was almost expecting something catastrophic to happen.

“Okay, the bath is pretty much ready. I even added some soap in there to make it all bubbly! Follow me.”

Nagito nodded and anxiously gulped. He followed you into the bathroom, staring in awe at the bathtub, which looked so warm and pretty with all the bubbles in it. It was almost like this was a dream. And if it was, he never, ever wanted to wake it.

“Here, test the water to see if it’s okay with you.”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Test the water? Uh, okay. If you want me to. But it truly doesn’t matter. As long as you say it’s okay, i won’t ever protest.”

You shook your head.

“Please Nagito. I told you, degrading yourself isn’t something you should be doing so often. It’s okay ti be self critical sometimes, but when it’s just about testing to see if the water is a good temperature or not, please understand that I respect your opinion. I want this to be about you… I want you to feel better after all the stuff Sōda tried to do. “

He could honestly feel tears welling up in his eyes again, but he pushed them away. He didn’t want to make you worry about him anymore then Joey currently were. He turned back to the tub and slowly stuck a few fingers in. Even though it was only his fingers, he already felt his body relaxing at the warm temperature.

“It’s… perfect. I… Um.. if you want I, I’m ready whenever you would like me to..”

You gave him an exhausted smile. At least he was trying.

“Then yes, if you want to get in, you can. I’ll close my eyes so you can undress.”

Nagito nodded before you covered your hands over your eyes. You heard faint slashing noises, which were the sounds of Nagito getting into the bath. He let out a low, barly audible sign, feeling all the tension in his body dissipate. It was almost magical. He usually takes cold showers because sits the quickest way to get clean without feeling like he is wasting other people’s warm water, so this was fairly new for him. You peaked between your fingers, putting your hands down as you saw the very content Nagito resting against the edge of the tub with a dazed expression. He was so flipping adorable! You giggled at the sight.

“Would it be okay if I wash you hair?”

“If you want to, I would stop you.”

“But, do you want me to?”

“… I… does it… matter how I feel?”

“Of course it does. It always matters how you feel. Now please, do you want me to?”

“…. Yes…”

“Good boy.”

As those two words fell off your tongue, it probably made you just as surprised as Nagito. Did your rally just say that?! Fuck, how embarrassing! But, on the flip side, Nagito’s brain was practically scrambling. First you freed him, then let him in your cottage, then made him a bath, and now you called him good boy? The red blush and the fucked out expression on his face was enough to tell you that he was really enjoying everything a lot right now. But, you didn’t want to ruin the mood with an sexual stuff right now.

You took a stray brush on the side of the sink and started to as carefully as you could start at the bottoms of his hair. And just as you thought, it was very, very tangled. He grunted and groaned at the pain, but didn’t speak out. If anything, he kinda felt like he deserved it so he was surprisingly, but also unsurprisingly, content.

“Mph… Nagito, please tell me the truth. How often to you spend time taking care of yourself?”

You think you already knew the answer to that, but you wanted to know the truth.

“Uh… maybe… every two days? I normally just take a cold shower… that’s… that’s really all I deserve-“

“What did I say about saying stuff like that? And only every two days? No wonder your hair is so tangled… don’t worry, I’ll make it better.”

“You know… after brushing your hair out a little, it looks a lot more fluffy now. It’s kinda pretty.

“You… hehe… you’re… so hopeful.”

Nagito couldn’t help but feel more relaxed then he has every felt in his life. And who could blame him? He was taking a nice, warm bath, having his hair brushed, and even being praised every so often! Before he could stop himself, he started falling asleep. His breathing slowed and his body went limp. You honestly thought something bad happened. But as you listened to his shallow breathing, you realized he just fell asleep. And fuck, was he adorable. He had the cutest face, so still and pristine, almost like a porcelain doll. And the fact that all it took for him to fall asleep was just taking care of him and treeating him like a normal human being made your heart melt and crack at the same time. At that moment, you knew what you were going to do. It was very likely Nagito hadn’t received this kind of treatment in his childhood, which could have been damaging to him. No wonder he always treats himself poorly. So, you decided you want to try and make up for that. To try and treat him as well as you can to show him that someone cares about him. Because you knew in your heart, even thought he is slightly psychotic and tried to commit murder, all because of the unknown events of his past, he were sure that you loved him.

As Nagito’s eyes adjusted to his surroundings, he found himself laying down in your bed with… your arms wrapped around him?! Were you… spooning him?!? He wanted to jump up or push himself away from you, but he didn’t want to wake you. And why would he want to jump out of your arms in the first place? They felt so warm… so comforting… he almost couldn’t handle. He really couldn’t handle everything that you do to him! It made he feel like he was something delicate, something that needed to be preserved. And to be honest, it was very addictive. He wore a familiar blush and smile on his face as he pushed his body against yours, hugging your arms tighter around him. You smelled so good… you felt so good… at first, he thought you were going to do all this and leave, which would be an acceptable thing in his mind, but no… you stayed here with him. You did so much just to stay with him. It gave him so many good feelings… good feelings of hope. He thought he would need to kill someone or himself so it could raise others spirits, but you… if he just finds ways to brighten your hope so you brighten his, maybe it would make giving other people hope a lot easier. Yes…. Yes, this was a great idea. But to be honest, it’s not all just about hope that makes him want to be closer to you. It’s also because it just feels so fucking good to do so. :) when you wake up, expect to be greeted with a spotless room, some food sitting on the table, and Nagito still wrapped in your arms.

So You Want to Tumbl?

There are lots of newcomers here these days, and I thought I’d spell out how to begin and what it means to ‘curate your own dash’ for folks who haven’t grown along with Tumblr for the past decade.

If you’re coming from a platform where content is fed to you, Tumblr can seem barren and intimidating in the beginning.  But that’s actually a good thing!  What it means is that you will see what you want to.  If you’re in a fighting mood, go find political discourse.  If you’re feeling fragile, make your dash nothing but art and nature.

How to begin?

You’ve made your blog and picked out your icon (seriously, choose an icon:  otherwise you’re indistinguishable from bots).  Feel free to be anonymous.  Most of us are, and it’s wonderful to have a place that’s not tied to your Real Life.  Here you can be a fandom freak (like me!) and no one judges you and your boss will never find out.

Now seek out tags that interest you.  For example, I was just looking through #moss because I like peace and green things and old-growth forests.  (And, apparently, beautifully naked fae-men, heh.)

Now you follow that tag (if it’s a popular tag, it’ll say how many followers the tag has, which is beneficial to know if you’re making a post that you want to reach all its interested audience) and posts with that tag automatically fill your dash. Voila, you have begun to curate your experience!

Do Follow:  tags; blogs in that tag that you like; people who comment on posts in the blog/tag you follow that seem like they’re up your alley.  The more people you follow, the more varied and nuanced your dash is.

Don’t Follow:  people who make comments or posts that raise your blood pressure.  Topics that upset you.  Discourse that has you arguing in your head for the rest of the day.  PLEASE avoid toxicity.  Real Life is hard enough.

How to be Social and Interact

If you want to find your tribe and interact, it’s best to start following individual blogs.  (If you follow a blog, they have an opportunity to follow you back.  Simply following a tag is a passive, one-way street.)  To Tumbl is to be in a vast cocktail party, and you need to mingle and eavesdrop to find the things that galvanize you.

How to be seen and heard

💬Comment on posts (please always stay positive and enthusiastic:  we really try to avoid toxicity).  You can read other comments (and reblogged comments) by clicking on the notes:

🔁Reblog posts you like, both to show your support and to show other people what kind of things get you excited.  Reblogging is essential to the tumblr ecosystem, because it’s the only way posts move around and get seen.  You can also “like” posts, but that’s a much more passive way to interact. Also, reblogs and your own original posts show up on your blog and prove that you’re not a bot.

Create your own posts and remember that the first 20 tags you use are essential, because that’s what gets you seen (and followed) by strangers.  Tags 21-30 are good for searching and archiving on your own blog, but they don’t count on the dash.  Instructions on how to Make A Post.

Participate!  Once you find your crowd, you’ll discover that there are always things going on.  For example, in fandoms, we’ve got writing events, art events, crafting and cons.  The more you try to be involved, the more new friends you’ll discover.  Tumblr allows for such an organic community.  One person has a thought, and many others build on that thought, creating something far greater than the sum of its parts.

There is no real algorithm beyond using those first 20 tags.  This may be discouraging to folks who are used to working an algorithm, but we like it fine here, because it keeps everyone real and keeps obnoxious social climbers/capitalists out of your face.

Be patient!  Just like in real life, when you find yourself in a crowd of people you don’t know, it takes a while to form connections.  Watch and listen, and learn to read the room.  Honestly, the thing that will win you the most friends/followers is honest enthusiasm about your space.

Don’t aim for the big names to become your new buddies.  You’re more likely to find a thriving coterie among other fresh faces.  Don’t assume that because they’re small or new they have nothing to offer you.  Often, this is the fire that keeps any given corner of Tumblr going.

Tumblr Etiquette

NEVER REPOST (without explicit permission).  Reposting is when you cut and paste from someone else’s content and then make it into a brand new post under your own blog name.  That is stealing and is very condemned.  Reblogging is when you use 🔁and the OP (original poster) remains attached to their post and continues to see and be in charge of interactions.  

Reblog in addition to Liking. A post that you ‘like’ is static. You are not helping it to get to a broader audience. If the post or poster is something/someone you support, then REBLOG that sucker: it deserves to fly!

Reblog and add your own content.  One of the best parts of Tumblr is that you can comment on a post, or even add to it in your reblog (as long as you’re not being a dick, okay?  Or changing the topic, which is known as ‘hijacking a post’).  Here is a wonderful example of the Tumblr ecosystem at work, where someone had a thought, other people had thoughts about that thought, and then a bunch of artists jumped in.  Tumblr posts BUILD COMMUNITY, and you can be a part of that conversation.  (Do try to refrain from reblogging with vacuous comments just because you want people to notice you rather than because you actually have something to add, though.  That’s just clutter.)

The most important part of “curating your experience” is learning to Block.

You can block individual blogs, Anons, people in the comments that you find upsetting.  Here’s a post on How to Block.

Block entire tags or keywords if they are triggers for you.  (Here is a post on how to do that.) 

Blocking is self-care.  It is not a platform to demonstrate to the community how much you hate someone and how they should, too.  Usually the blocked person never even knows you’ve blocked them.  If they do something egregious (like tell you or someone else to kill themselves), then ‘Report’ them.

You can block something (like #US Politics) if you can’t handle it at the moment, and then unblock it later.  Block a friend if they’re spamming something you don’t like and then unblock them later.  It’s all good!  You are in control of what shows up on your dash.

But doesn’t this mean my dash will be single-topic and boring?

The simultaneous joy and pitfall in following individuals is that MANY blogs are not single-topic.  You will be exposed to all kinds of reblogs/ideas/other people from the folks you chose to follow, and can decide for yourself if you (a) want to be involved in that topic, (b) are indifferent to that topic, or © want to run from it screaming.

Also, the blogs you follow will move from hobby/theme/passion over time, and you can move with them, appreciate their new topic without vibing with it, or drop them altogether.

And THIS is how you curate your dash, my friends.

***Install New XKit extension.  It’ll make your life easier!

***Here’s the Tumblr Help Center, where you can learn more details.

hiii, if it's not too much, i'd like something soft! MC making some flower crowns with Cheka, answering any questions the little cub has about their uncle's partner & giving Leona the crowns???

Gotcha! Quick note, I didn’t notice my ask inbox wasn’t on so NOW requests are open! Lol, sorry if anyone tried to send asks before and it didn’t work!

———————

Flower Crowns for a King

Feat. Leona Kingscholar and Cheka

Cheka has lots of questions about his uncles new friend! Why not discuss over flower crowns?

They/Them pronouns for reader. MC is referred to as Yuu.

Likes and reblogs are heavily appreciated

The annoying cub was visiting this weekend. Rather than give up his free time to deal with him, Leona passed on the job to Yuu. The herbivore played with Cheka in the botanical garden while he lounged in his usual nap spot.

Not too long ago, Cheka had bounded over to Yuu with his tiny arms full of flowers, excitedly asking if they knew how to make flower crowns. Now they were sitting close by as they made the crowns. Leona dozed through most of the conversation until he heard his name pop up.

“Unca Leona says you’re a profe—profeshi…” Cheka pouts as he sounds out the word to himself, “p-professional chef? Is that true? You must cook loads of yummy foods!”

“Professional is a stretch. I just enjoy cooking. I did it a lot back home for my family.” Yuu says.

“Oooh! What was your home like?”

“Definitely not as interesting as this place. We don’t have cute little beast boys like you running around!”

Yuu pet Cheka’s head, getting a laugh from the cub. Leona leaned on his hand as he gazed at them, eyes focusing intently on the way Yuu’s fingers moved as he tied chamomiles into a crown. Such small, gentle hands…

“Life back home was kind of boring actually.” They were saying. “I was always so busy taking care of my younger siblings that I never had time to do nice things like this. I didn’t even have any friends.”

A small grunt left Leona’s throat. He wasn’t aware of that fact, not that he ever asked.

“Cheka is your friend now! And Unca Leona is too and you two will get married someday, huh?”

Leona’s ears popped up at that. As Yuu burst out in laughter, he got up and marched over to snatch Cheka up in the air. The cub giggled at that, his little tail swishing around.

“Alright, enough outta you. I gotta take you back to your dad soon.”

“Here, Unca Leona!” Cheka reached up and put his messily made flower crown on the lion’s head. “I made it for you! I chose lotsa pretty colors! Do you like it?”

Leona huffed, blowing a petal out his face. “Sure…”

He glanced up at Yuu as Cheka cheered. They simply smiled and shrugged before placing their own flower crown on Cheka’s head. The cub looked up with stars in his eyes before frowning.

“Yuu Yuu didn’t get a crown though… I can make another one!”

“I’m not waiting around for that.” Leona held Cheka under one arm, the boy giggling hysterically, and bent down to pluck a large yellow flower from its bed. He then placed it in Yuu’s hair. He smirked at the blush that appeared on his herbivore’s face, tilting their chin up with two finger.

“There. You’re royalty too now.”

skz & feelings/words I associate them with (?)

chan- comfort, hug and reassurance

lee know- warmth, tenderness and patience

changbin- respect, gratitude and safety

hyunjin- love, passion and serenity

han- empathy, joy and hope

felix- faithfulness, kindness and affection

seungmin- softness, inspirational and considerate

innie- trustworthy, sincere and thoughtful

[id: a white userbox with a black border, on the left is a picture of piers from pokemon, and black text that reads “this user’s comfort character is piers”