For All Self-shippers Who Needed To Hear This: Your Fav Loves You.

Rings

Pairing: Choi San x Reader

Other Stuff: Fluff, just Fluff; Friends that are too afraid to ask each other out; I think this’ll be my entry for Valentine’s Day, I’m really not sure ( wala kase akong jowa lol; trans: I don’t have lover lol)

Rings are special to you, very special even, causing you to having a collection of your own. Rings of so many kind filled your jewelry box, in fact, that’s just your FIRST jewelry box. They were just too many that you had to get another box to put them in, only for it to be immediately filled by, obviously rings. You have the chunky ones, the thin ones, the ones that are just simple, and even the ones with big-ass diamonds, gems and even stones in them. Just let everybody name any ring they want and you just…you just have it But, those rings of yours are not as special to the one you’ve been wearing for 9 years now. It was a ring you personally made for you and your best friend, Choi San,…who’s also the man of your dreams. Ironically, you made a friendship ring with the guy you loved for 11 years and wore it for 9 years, 9 years of being friend-zoned, I guess? It’s not like you confessed to him and he rejected you, only wanted you as his best friend, I mean, the friendship rings itself were giving it’s way to you, dumb of you to make those rings when you already loved him more than a friend and no longer sees him as just a best friend of yours “Hey!”; “Shoot!” You jumped out of surprise, your nerves knocking you out of your reminiscing state of mind while the suspect who surprised you was already throwing their head back out of laughter; “San?! Seriously?!” You whined, rolling your eyes at him as you heaved deeply; “You’re so jumpy, aren’t you?” He teased while nudging his shoulder to yours; “Yeah, whatever. So, are you ready to go?” You asked, your arms still crossed in front of your chest; “Of course! Let’s go, jumpy!” He teased one more time, ruffling your hair before running away from you; “CHOI SAN!!” You exclaimed as you tried to catch up on him, only for you to give up and eventually, continue walking half-way to your destination You deeply huffed in air, catching your breath as you finally arrived at the Pet Cafe, being greeted by San who’s busy giggling, already playing with the cats and dogs. All of them swarmed over to him, wanting his attention…or treats, and as per you, you were only smiling at the adorable interaction between him and the fur babies. San looked up and saw you, lost in your own thoughts while mindlessly smiling at him; “Y/N! C’mere!” He called out, his hand motioning you to come as you shook your head, bringing yourself back to reality before continuing your way to him. The cats and dogs all turned their attention to you as you only smiled widely, making sure you pet all of them equally; “They really like you more, huh? I’m kinda jelly” He pouted as you giggled. You reached to his hand and placed it on top of the cat’s head, who’s comfortably curled up into your lap while some of the others left; “They like you too, dumbo” You teased as the cat purred from San’s touch; “See?” You giggled as San continued caressing the cat while you noticed something “By the way, where’s you ring?” You mindlessly asked, still caressing the siamese cat on your lap; “Oh, that? Well, It doesn’t fit my index finger anymore so, I just kept it here” He explained as he takes out the ring from his pocket, showing it to you; “And you said that it has to be “specifically” on my index finger for some reasons so, yeah” He added while you only laughed, remembering that you’ve never really explained the reason behind it; “Yeah I did, actually our index fingers means friendship, that’s why I asked you to wear it there” You explained, chuckling; “Really? So, what should I do with this then?” He asked, showing you his ring again; “I don’t know, hide it I guess?” You asked back, confused; “Oh wait- I think it fits my- yeah, it does fit, look!” San exclaimed, showing you the ring that’s on his ring finger now; “W-What? Does the ring finger mean enemies? death? or any bad thing? what? what?!” He slightly panicked, caused by your shocked face; “I-It actually…means, it means marriage…” You laughed awkwardly; “R-Really?” He asked, his face turning red and a smile slowly creeping up into his lips You felt heat traveling up into your cheeks, tinting them red as you felt a blooming sensation inside you along with your butterflies flapping their wings inside you. You felt your heart skip a beat just now, as a smile creeps up into your lips as well; “Y-Yup” You answered, trying to hold in your emotions; “Then, why don’t we start our way there?” He shamelessly asked, your heart beating twice faster than before; “Are you serious? Like serious-serious?” You asked, quite unsure if you’re gonna lie or just be honest with your feelings for him; “I’m more than serious-serious, L/N Y/N” He says, his hand travelling to yours, holding it tightly; “So, you like me too?” You asked again; “I..I love you, Y/N” He mindlessly and shamelessly says, tightening his clasp onto your hands; “So, do you want to start our way to marriage?”; “Are you asking me out or your asking me to marry you-”; “Just answer the question” He giggled at how tensed you are right now; “Y-Yes!” You smiled, both of your happiness now can’t be hidden. San takes your hand and removes the ring on your index finger, putting it back, but instead in your ring finger “Now, our friendship rings are not friendship rings anymore, they’re our couple rings now!” San claims, caressing your cheeks with his free hand, happiness visible on his face as his smile grows even more and so is yours; “Are you sure this is not planned? Cuz’ you putting the ring on your ring finger is so smooth, cuz’ of that, now we’re dating” You say, a snort coming out of you, followed by a laugh; “Nope, I just love you too much that I took that opportunity” He confidentally explains, smiling widely, you two continued on caressing the cat while his other hand caresses yours; “I love you too”; “I love you more, Y/N”.

The End

So You Want to Tumbl?

There are lots of newcomers here these days, and I thought I’d spell out how to begin and what it means to ‘curate your own dash’ for folks who haven’t grown along with Tumblr for the past decade.

If you’re coming from a platform where content is fed to you, Tumblr can seem barren and intimidating in the beginning.  But that’s actually a good thing!  What it means is that you will see what you want to.  If you’re in a fighting mood, go find political discourse.  If you’re feeling fragile, make your dash nothing but art and nature.

How to begin?

You’ve made your blog and picked out your icon (seriously, choose an icon:  otherwise you’re indistinguishable from bots).  Feel free to be anonymous.  Most of us are, and it’s wonderful to have a place that’s not tied to your Real Life.  Here you can be a fandom freak (like me!) and no one judges you and your boss will never find out.

Now seek out tags that interest you.  For example, I was just looking through #moss because I like peace and green things and old-growth forests.  (And, apparently, beautifully naked fae-men, heh.)

Now you follow that tag (if it’s a popular tag, it’ll say how many followers the tag has, which is beneficial to know if you’re making a post that you want to reach all its interested audience) and posts with that tag automatically fill your dash. Voila, you have begun to curate your experience!

Do Follow:  tags; blogs in that tag that you like; people who comment on posts in the blog/tag you follow that seem like they’re up your alley.  The more people you follow, the more varied and nuanced your dash is.

Don’t Follow:  people who make comments or posts that raise your blood pressure.  Topics that upset you.  Discourse that has you arguing in your head for the rest of the day.  PLEASE avoid toxicity.  Real Life is hard enough.

How to be Social and Interact

If you want to find your tribe and interact, it’s best to start following individual blogs.  (If you follow a blog, they have an opportunity to follow you back.  Simply following a tag is a passive, one-way street.)  To Tumbl is to be in a vast cocktail party, and you need to mingle and eavesdrop to find the things that galvanize you.

How to be seen and heard

💬Comment on posts (please always stay positive and enthusiastic:  we really try to avoid toxicity).  You can read other comments (and reblogged comments) by clicking on the notes:

🔁Reblog posts you like, both to show your support and to show other people what kind of things get you excited.  Reblogging is essential to the tumblr ecosystem, because it’s the only way posts move around and get seen.  You can also “like” posts, but that’s a much more passive way to interact. Also, reblogs and your own original posts show up on your blog and prove that you’re not a bot.

Create your own posts and remember that the first 20 tags you use are essential, because that’s what gets you seen (and followed) by strangers.  Tags 21-30 are good for searching and archiving on your own blog, but they don’t count on the dash.  Instructions on how to Make A Post.

Participate!  Once you find your crowd, you’ll discover that there are always things going on.  For example, in fandoms, we’ve got writing events, art events, crafting and cons.  The more you try to be involved, the more new friends you’ll discover.  Tumblr allows for such an organic community.  One person has a thought, and many others build on that thought, creating something far greater than the sum of its parts.

There is no real algorithm beyond using those first 20 tags.  This may be discouraging to folks who are used to working an algorithm, but we like it fine here, because it keeps everyone real and keeps obnoxious social climbers/capitalists out of your face.

Be patient!  Just like in real life, when you find yourself in a crowd of people you don’t know, it takes a while to form connections.  Watch and listen, and learn to read the room.  Honestly, the thing that will win you the most friends/followers is honest enthusiasm about your space.

Don’t aim for the big names to become your new buddies.  You’re more likely to find a thriving coterie among other fresh faces.  Don’t assume that because they’re small or new they have nothing to offer you.  Often, this is the fire that keeps any given corner of Tumblr going.

Tumblr Etiquette

NEVER REPOST (without explicit permission).  Reposting is when you cut and paste from someone else’s content and then make it into a brand new post under your own blog name.  That is stealing and is very condemned.  Reblogging is when you use 🔁and the OP (original poster) remains attached to their post and continues to see and be in charge of interactions.  

Reblog in addition to Liking. A post that you ‘like’ is static. You are not helping it to get to a broader audience. If the post or poster is something/someone you support, then REBLOG that sucker: it deserves to fly!

Reblog and add your own content.  One of the best parts of Tumblr is that you can comment on a post, or even add to it in your reblog (as long as you’re not being a dick, okay?  Or changing the topic, which is known as ‘hijacking a post’).  Here is a wonderful example of the Tumblr ecosystem at work, where someone had a thought, other people had thoughts about that thought, and then a bunch of artists jumped in.  Tumblr posts BUILD COMMUNITY, and you can be a part of that conversation.  (Do try to refrain from reblogging with vacuous comments just because you want people to notice you rather than because you actually have something to add, though.  That’s just clutter.)

The most important part of “curating your experience” is learning to Block.

You can block individual blogs, Anons, people in the comments that you find upsetting.  Here’s a post on How to Block.

Block entire tags or keywords if they are triggers for you.  (Here is a post on how to do that.) 

Blocking is self-care.  It is not a platform to demonstrate to the community how much you hate someone and how they should, too.  Usually the blocked person never even knows you’ve blocked them.  If they do something egregious (like tell you or someone else to kill themselves), then ‘Report’ them.

You can block something (like #US Politics) if you can’t handle it at the moment, and then unblock it later.  Block a friend if they’re spamming something you don’t like and then unblock them later.  It’s all good!  You are in control of what shows up on your dash.

But doesn’t this mean my dash will be single-topic and boring?

The simultaneous joy and pitfall in following individuals is that MANY blogs are not single-topic.  You will be exposed to all kinds of reblogs/ideas/other people from the folks you chose to follow, and can decide for yourself if you (a) want to be involved in that topic, (b) are indifferent to that topic, or © want to run from it screaming.

Also, the blogs you follow will move from hobby/theme/passion over time, and you can move with them, appreciate their new topic without vibing with it, or drop them altogether.

And THIS is how you curate your dash, my friends.

***Install New XKit extension.  It’ll make your life easier!

***Here’s the Tumblr Help Center, where you can learn more details.

skz & feelings/words I associate them with (?)

chan- comfort, hug and reassurance

lee know- warmth, tenderness and patience

changbin- respect, gratitude and safety

hyunjin- love, passion and serenity

han- empathy, joy and hope

felix- faithfulness, kindness and affection

seungmin- softness, inspirational and considerate

innie- trustworthy, sincere and thoughtful

Why do I always fall in love with people who are already taken. It hurts. What makes it worse is that they are the flirty friend ;-;

Happy new year!

hii i know you might be busy because of school so take your time! Could i please get a Dead!Mitsuba,,,Dead!Hanako,,,Dead!Tsukasa,, x reader (if you dont want to write for them characters right now than you can choose others i dont mind <3) where they think reader is dying??Any situation is fine :)

dead!mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader, dead!hanako x gn!reader, dead!tsukasa yugi x gn!reader

a/n: ahh thank you for being patient;;! And of course!! Thank you so much for requesting, and I hope this turns out alright! And I’m so sorry for the time it took;;

aahhh i constantly remember how difficult starting and ending fics are,,, sorry if it sounds awkward ;v;; i’m also sorry if this isn’t dramatic enough- i’m trying to get these out, but i’m in a funky phase, as i haven’t written in a while;;

warnings: vomit (in Hanako’s), blood (in Tsukasa’s)

word count: 2,765

mitsuba sousuke <3

It wasn’t uncommon for Mitsuba to watch you do everyday school things. He’d follow you around, playing it off as if he wasn’t. Even now, he sat under a tree, watching you assist one of the clubs.

You were always entertaining… or maybe, you were simply enough to captivate his attention in anything you did? Your arm held high as you caught the baseball tossed your way, grinning at the person who threw it. Though not fond of you smiling like that at another person, the glance you gave Mitsuba practically made up for it- though he still glanced away, as if he wasn’t looking in the first place.

Moments passed, before he peered back up at you.

Your smiling face, as you turned to speak to one of the club members- his eyes darting over at hearing someone yell your name.

“(Y/N)!! WATCH OUT-”

And, eyes back over at you, as the undeniable sound of a baseball smacking against a skull. Mitsuba froze up, only being able to watch as you toppled to the ground. The club members instantly panicked, and Mitsuba did the same- both he and the members running over to you, students shaking you as if that would do anything.

“Idiots!! Don’t shake them-!”

Unfortunately, all of his yelling was futile. Mitsuba was dead, after all, and he was sure that you were too. A bump already formed on your head, as you peeked your eyes open, reaching for your head. Your fingers grazed against the bump, then quickly retracted, as tears filled your eyes. Shouts from the club members to get an adult rang out, as Mitsuba placed his hands on your shoulder, shaking almost as violently as you were. You closed your eyes, shaking as you reached to your head again, only to retract once more.

“(Y-Y/N), it’s okay- a-are you okay?” Mitsuba stuttered out, trying not to get emotional. It was only an injury, right… you were fine. You had to be. You’d be fine. Right?

But, when you only shook your head, squeezing your eyes tighter, he couldn’t help the pure fear that filled his entire body. His eyes grew watery when a teacher finally arrived, already on the phone with, he hoped, the paramedics.

Too much time passed, Mitsuba thought. Too much time spent grasping your hand, tears threatening to spill, as the teacher asked you too many questions. And, the absolute dread at the teacher’s reaction to everything- hearing you attempt to explain that everything went black for a moment- seeing the teachers eyes widen a bit, then eyebrows furrow in frustration. Mitsuba wanted to scream. To yell at whoever threw the ball- he didn’t care if it was a mistake. To yell at the paramedics- it was an emergency! Why couldn’t the emergency vehicle get there sooner??

Finally, they arrived. Paramedics picking you up, Mitsuba following alongside them until you sat in the vehicle. His eyes flickering from person to person, then back at you, until they shut the doors and drove off.

The next few days were like a living hell for Mitsuba. No- he wasn’t living. It was as if he had been doomed to suffer for all eternity. He shook every time he walked past your homeroom, peering inside as he checked for you. Peering over at your desk, praying that he wouldn’t see flowers sitting there. The lack of flowers was the only hope Mitsuba had left. The lack of rumors, the lack of Sakura one day opening up the broadcast with “(Y/N)-san of the baseball field.” It sounded ridiculous, sure, but he couldn’t help it…

Yes, though he’d never say it to anyone- maybe you, but that was a stretch- Mitsuba had never been so worried… he thought, as he finally saw you again, clinging to you as if you were as fragile as glass- that your death would probably affect him worse than his own did. Because, a world without you, would officially be a world without life… without you, Mitsuba knew he could no longer even feel alive.

“You idiot… I hate you so much,” His voice broke slightly, as you wrapped your arms back around him. Much like the moment when he was so sure you wouldn’t show back up, tears threatened to spill. “I missed you. Dummy. I missed you so much-”

hanako <3

There was a part of Hanako slightly paranoid about your death. Not overly so- not in a way that would hinder you. Simply, in the sense that he would risk his well-being to protect you. Yet, there were many situations where he was… helpless.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to enter the girl’s bathroom, though it was almost always to visit Hanako. So, his face instinctively lit up when he saw you stumble into the bathroom- though he felt the color drain from his face when he saw your shakey figure. The color was drained from your face as well, he noted, as he quickly floated over to you.

“(Y/N)?? What’s wrong?” He questioned, pushing the hair from your face, getting a good look at your face. He was already positive you didn’t feel well. He just needed to know how- then, he could help. Surely, he could do something.

“I… I dunno- my stomach hurts, haha… really badly.”

Before Hanako could question further- where did it hurt, what kind of pain- you stumbled into a stall, spilling any contents that were in your stomach into the toilet. Instinctively, Hanako cringed a bit- quickly, he shook the queasy feeling he got off, and stepped over to you, rubbing your back carefully.

When you looked up at Hanako, tears running down your face, he instantly feared the worst.

“Please get a teacher, or Yashiro, or- someone,” You told him, arms securing themselves around your stomach. Hanako quickly nodded, rushing as quickly down the hallway as he could. He wasn’t a doctor, for Pete’s sake- not even close to it. So, he practically flung himself into Yashiro’s classroom, shouting at her from the doorway.

“YASHIRO, (Y/N)’S IN A LOT OF PAIN!!”

Hanako could only ring his hands nervously for a moment, as Yashiro asked the teacher to be excused, floating anxiously beside her for a moment, then rushing back to you when she explained that she was going to get a teacher- thinking for a split moment, as he explained to her that you already threw up. To that, Yashiro nodded, telling Hanako that she’d be sure to make sure your guardians were contacted.

Once he reentered the bathroom, Hanako’s nerves were at a new worst state. His eyes landed on you, practically curled up next to the toilet, sniffling to yourself- he was sure he never wanted to help anyone so badly. He was sure that, if he could, he would take your pain.

“Yashiro’s getting a teacher, (Y/N). A-are you feeling any better?” You shook your head, glancing up at the ghost boy. Your face was slightly flushed with what he was sure was a fever, and your eyebrows were furrowed in clear desperation and pain. All he wanted to do was help.

“I feel like I’m dying…”

Dying. The word “dying” stuck out, striking at Hanako’s nerves as if they weren’t already being tested. You felt like you were dying? Were you?? He sat in front of you, hands shaking violently as he attempted to seem calm. You couldn’t die. No- no, the teacher would come. You would live, wouldn’t you? You weren’t going to die… right?

“It’s okay, (Y/N)- you’ll be okay,” He spoke, rubbing your shoulders gently and placing a soft kiss to your forehead, half trying to convince himself. As he continued to do so, the teacher entered the bathroom, knocking on the stall- though the door creaked open, as you hadn’t had the time to shut and lock it. It wasn’t as if you needed to- the nausea was simply overwhelming.

“(Y/N)? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m having really bad stomach pains… I threw up- it hurts to talk,” You muttered, glancing up at the teacher, giving them the same pained look you gave Hanako. They crouched next to you, placing a hand against your forehead, then nodding.

“Where does it hurt?”

Clearly not wanting to move, you sniffled, forcing yourself to sit back just enough to motion around your lower-right abdomen. As if it clicked, the teacher nodded, letting you fall back into the position you were previously in. “I have no room to say for sure, but it does sound like appendicitis. Your parents are on the way, and I’ll let them know to take you over to the hospital.”

Your grip on yourself tightened a bit, panic showing up in your face. Seeing that panic, Hanako could only fear the worst. He knew vaguely of appendicitis, sure- how likely was someone to die from it-?? If your appendix ruptured, he knew it was dire. Did it? How long did it take for an appendix to rupture? Before he could even acknowledge the thoughts running through his mind, the teacher lifted you up, carrying you out of the room.

Though Hanako followed, he was left standing at the doors of the school when your guardian carried you away. The final bell rang, all of the students finally emptying out of the school, as the car you were in drove away. He watched until it was out of sight, silently noting that it must have been the direction of the hospital.

The first few days were practically torture for Hanako. Yashiro’s comments didn’t help- her saying that you went into surgery only worsened his fears. During his lifetime, surgery was… unpleasant, to say the least. They could do it- you could certainly have your appendix removed, but- but what if something went wrong? How had things changed since he lived…? Had it ruptured, were you going to live? What if you died during recovery?

He couldn’t stand it. No, until several weeks passed, Hanako was a nervous wreck. The relief that washed through him when he saw you walking through the school halls was almost comical- that is, if he wasn’t clinging to you like he really had almost lost you.

“(Y/N)... I’m so glad to see you again.”

“Hanako, I’m so glad to see you too. Sorry for scaring you like that… but thanks for sticking with me.”

Of course, Hanako could only accept the praise, unsure how to word “I stuck with you because I didn’t want you to die alone.”

tsukasa yugi <3

Tsukasa, most were sure, wouldn’t necessarily… care if someone around him died. No, he probably loved the pained expressions of someone taking their last breaths. If it was a messy death? It would be better for him, right? Screams of pain, tears streaming down someone’s face, blood splattered around. Natsuhiko half joked that it would be a dream for Tsukasa, no matter if everyone else considered it a nightmare. Sakura remained quiet, shaking her head slightly. You… disagreed, as if protecting Tsukasa. Maybe he wouldn’t… as eerie as your boyfriend could be at times, you loved him nonetheless- and you were sure you didn’t fall for someone who would… enjoy…… others’ pain…?

Hm…

Either way! You were sure you didn’t fall for someone who would enjoy your pain!!!

Those thoughts were just that- little thoughts you had. Thrown into a few conversations between the fellow people who frequented the broadcasting room. Nothing you really wanted to prove, you know? No, you’d rather assume it, and not go through anything particularly painful to prove it.

However, those weren’t necessarily your thoughts as you tripped over the rug, one of Sakura’s tea sets in your hands. The hot tea in them went flying, landing all over you- but, that wasn’t really your focus, as you landed with a harsh thud. The glass cracked underneath you, the uncomfortable sound of shattering filling the room- accompanied by your scream- at first being echoed because of the fright of following, but being finished off because of the feeling of glass splintering you as if you were the fragile object.

Your scream ended in a cry, tears quickly clouding your vision as the sharp pain coursed through every spot the glass had harmed. Sakura’s eyes went wide, and she stood up, aiming to walk over and help you- Natsuhiko did the same, exclaiming your name once he saw you began to fall, a bit quicker than Sakura was- Mitsuba could only stare, as if his fight or flight was activated. Before any of them could reach you, Tsukasa was there, shouting your name and cupping your face.

Tsukasa wasn’t bothered by the blood, as if he could be bothered by any blood, pure worry crossing his face. It was a rare sight- Tsukasa genuinely concerned- but it wasn’t like seeing a bloody (Y/N) on the floor was exactly common. It was no one's focus, as the other three finally were gathered around you. Protectively, nearly forgetting your injuries, Tsukasa held your head to his chest- glaring at the others.

“Go get a nurse!! (Y/N)’s bleeding-!”

Natsuhiko nodded, rushing off, as Mitsuba glanced around panickedly- Sakura pushed Tsukasa away from you slightly, as if to let him know to be careful. His hands wandered to your arms, holding them carefully, peering at the glass, then up at the tears streaming down your face.

“Don’t pull out the glass. It could make the bleeding worse, and we can’t be sure where all the glass has landed. Especially in their arms.”

Tsukasa nodded a bit, glancing at his hand when one of your tears landed on it. He ignored the blood dripping onto his palms, quietly licking the tear that fell onto the back of his hand. That wasn’t enough to distract you though- he half hoped he could take away your pain, but was discouraged to only be met with your shaky sobs. His eyes wandered along the shards sticking out of your arms. Dangerously close to places he knew they couldn’t scratch- an artery, he knew, would be beyond dangerous… what if, when the glass gets pulled out, you’re met with the spewing blood that comes with a punctured artery? Looking around at the blood dripping everywhere- were you… dying?

Tsukasa froze up a bit. (Y/N)? Dying?

Well, he was dead… Amane was dead. Mitsuba was dead. But… what would happen when you died?

Would you become a ghost? Or would death be the final separation for the two of you- would Tsukasa be trapped on earth, while you moved on to whatever afterlife there was??

“(Y/N) can’t die,” was his only thought, as Natsuhiko returned, gently explaining that he was going to carry you to the nurse- then, your guardian could come at take you to the hospital. However, once Natsuhiko’s arms wrapped around your torso, Tsukasa grabbed Natsuhiko’s closest arm. “I- I can take care of them. I’ll carry, (Y/N).” “Runt, you’re a ghost. For real, don’t screw around. Let me carry them, hurry now,” He spoke, lifting you up. Tsukasa stood, balling his hands up slightly nervously. Oh, a nervous Tsukasa… it was also such a strange sight- watching Natsuhiko speedwalk with you in his arms, Tsukasa floating alongside them. In fact, Tsukasa remained with the both of you- holding your arms carefully, until you were entering the car, towels placed around you to keep the blood from spilling anywhere. He watched the car drive off, unsure how to process anything.

The next several days were… difficult for Tsukasa. He wasn’t sure how to deal with it, yet he found himself peering into your classroom to see if flowers sat on your desk. He found himself paying closer attention to the rumors spread- listening carefully for anything that sounded similar to you. He wandered the halls, as if he suddenly lost his purpose- keeping an extra eye out for a person, or ghost, with cuts from shards of glass littering their body.

Tsukasa was his… clingy self when you returned. He hugged you as tightly as he could, not wanting to release even when you warned him about your still healing arms. He placed countless kisses to your face, giggling out that he was so sure you were going to die. Even when you questioned his thoughts, Tsukasa continued on, kissing the scars, scabs, and few stitches on your body. Yes, he really was glad that you were alive. Be it for selfish reasons or selfless ones, he couldn’t be sure- he just knew he was glad.

Mmm…. Don’t mind me… just thinking about taking care of Nagito during the killing game.<3

.*•. —————————————————————— .•*.

Now playing - Hey Lover

Words - 3458

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Imagine this. You had just expireniced what you can imagine was the worst thing anyone can ever see. You literally had to watch one of your friends (I mean, you wouldn’t really call Teruteru you friend, but still.) get executed. Not only were you in a very tense situation, like you couldn’t trust anyone, but someone fucking killed someone else, and you had to watch someone die. To say you were going through a lot would be an understatement. But, you knew you had to keep moving forward, for the sake of you and your fellow classmates.

But something else was bugging you. A certain boy who has been shown to have a very…. Deprecating view on himself. He almost got himself killed if it wasn’t for Hajime’s logic and practical thinking. He thought he had to full on kill someone else, and was about to do it, too, just so he could make others feel better. That truly didn’t sit right with you. And something else that didn’t sit right with you was the fact that you couldn’t find him anywhere in the restaurant. Something was going on and you really didn’t like it. You already saw two of your friends die, you weren’t about to see another one meet the same fate.

Just as you were about to check to see if he was just sleeping in, you saw your classmate Sōda pacing back and forth near the entrance of the hotel.

“Hey, sōda! I have a random question to ask you, are you busy?”

“Busy? Huh? Who? Me? I’m not busy, never been busy in my whole life! W-what would you like to ask?”

He tried to push the fact he was a-okay, but you knew something was boiling underneath his smiley mask.

“Have you seen Nagito anywhere around?”

“N-Nagito? W-w-who’s Nagito? Why-uh-why do you ask? Why would you never want to be around someone like him?!”

You looked at him with a suspicious glare. Yes, it did seem strange to want to be around him, but if no one else was going to, you knew you had to be the one. He always acted so nice and friendly to others, and it strangely made you want to act the same way. And yes, the thought that me might try to kill again was scary, but sometimes you just have to take risks, especially if it’s for the sake of one of your friends.

“Soda, come on, don’t say something like that. Just as Nagito would say, that’s not very hopeful of you. Hehe- but seriously, where is he. Did you do something?”

“… uh-um. I… I didn’t do anything…”

You gave him another glare, this one filled with more angry than before. The thoughts of what kinds of torchurous things Sōda could have done to him made your skin crawl. You needed to make sure he was okay.

“Sōda, if you didn’t tell me where he is and what you did to him, I’ll find a way to get it out of you.”

After a few seconds of him trying to get himself to hold back, he burst.

“Okay, okay, okay!! Please stop looking at me like that! N-Nagito is in the abandoned house… I wanted to make everyone feel safer… and it’s impossible unless that… monster is chained up. He got what he deserves for trying to-“

“Chained up?!! You sound just as bad as he was, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You actually thought that was a good idea? That’s inhumane, even to someone who put someone’s life in danger! What the fuck, dude!

You pushed soda’s shoulders, causing him to yelp in fear.

“I-I! B-b-but he- I…. I guess your right… but he put someone’s life in danger once already, there is nothing stopping him from doing it again!! You just want me to let him go off and kill someone else?! Maybe you’re the crazy one!”

“Ugh… here. Why not I make a deal. I’ll take the responsibility of watching over him 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous if you can give me the key or whatever to his chains. Sound fair? And if something happens, you can lock him and me up, okay?”

He thought for a few minuets, his hand messing around with something in his pocket.

“….. fine, I’ll agree to that. It would be more useful having someone always keeping a watch on him. Here…”

He cautiously gave you the key, which looked to be the key to a pair of handcuffs. You thanked him before quickly beginning to sprint over to the abandoned house. You didn’t know how long he must have been kept in there, it was like Schrödinger’s cat. He could either me alive, or in worse case senecio, dead. Those awful thoughts only made you run faster.

As soon as you jumped up the creaky sodden stairs and flung open the door, you were face to face with a certain fluffy, pink and white rabbit. Monomi.

“Wahwahwahhh?! What are you doing here?!”

You were honestly surprised. Did Sōda convince Monomi to stand guard here or something? Did she know the situation that Nagito was currently in? Did she know how bad did a fucking idea this was?!

“Monomi. I know Sōda probably convinced you to stand here, but please, you don’t know the true scale of this problem. Nagito’s health could probably be in danger right now, and you’re blocking people from even entering the building. At least let me by, okay?”

“WA-WA-WAH?!!? H-his health?! Is he in danger?!”

“He could be! And that’s why I really need to check on him, please let me by.”

“Eeek!! Okay! You can go by!”

With a few squeaky-toy noises as Monomi stepped out of the way, you started twards the ominous wooden doors of the main room. Something inside of you was whispering you weren’t going to like the sight ahead of you. As you opened the doors with a loud, ear piercing screech, your suspicions came true.

“…. Reader? Ah….hahaha! I never couldn’t have guessed you would be the one to come and meet me. Forgive me, due to my… restrictions, I cannot grant you my fullest hospitalities, but please, make yourself at home.”

A part of you was insanely relieved. He wasn’t dead, clearly, or hurt, or in any sort of dangerous position, which put you a little more at ease. But, he was fucking chained up!! That’s like the definition of inhumane! To chain someone up like this, uncomfortably resting on the hard floor, his shoulder must be hurting like ever living hell! Soda may have had a reason to want to put Nagito in a position where he couldn’t easily hurt someone, but this is straight up disgusting.

You were too shocked to even speak. All you could do with your body was approach him, kneeling down in front of him. He cocked his head in confusion. He may be someone who likes to think everything through and form an idea of what others may do, but he really didn’t expect you to do something like… this!

“What are you doing? Are you.. heh…. Heheheh… hahahahahh!!! No, you can’t be. Don’t tell me you feel bad for someone as revolting as me! Do you know how much of your time you would waste worrying about someone like me?”

You tried to say something… anything. Maybe tell Nagito it’s not truly, that he truly does have worth, or maybe that you were going to free him, just anything to put your mind at ease. But nothing came out. Only silence. And after a few moments, quiet sobs followers shortly by tears. It broke your heart to see your classmates, people who you thought you could trust, do such absolutely cruel things! Is this truly how humans behave when in these life or death situations?!

“Huh? Why are you crying? Am I that awful to be around that I bring you to tears with just my presence?”

All you could manage to do was shake you head. You took a could deep breaths, channeling all the willpower you had to form the strength to find the right words.

“You… you don’t deserve this… this is so cruel. How… how could someone do this to you? I…. I can’t bare to see this anymore… if we continue, we are going to turn into fucking animals. He need to come together, not tear each other apart… I will… c-can I… can I at least…”

You wanted to say that you wanted to help him feel a little better, to help him know at least one person didn’t hate him, and even cared for him, but the words couldn’t fall off the tip of your tongue.

“…. I… deserve to be treated well? Heh… are you saying I deserve hope?”

You nodded.

“Of course… everyone does. So can I… can I show you some… hope? Eh- that sounded weird-um, what I mean is, I made a deal with Soda that I-I- um, I could take care of you. At least, that’s what I want to do.”

Nagito froze. You were… were you planning on freeing him? And what do you mean by taking care of him. Were you letting him go so you could find a way to kill him? He couldn’t help but perk up at the thought. Getting killed so someone else could bring hope to others… he couldn’t think of a better idea himself!

“Of course! If that’s what you want to do, then by all means, do whatever you want!”

You couldn’t help but laugh a tiny bit, but you nodded in agreement, leaning over his body slightly to unlock his confinements. After his handcuffs came off, now was the hard part. His ropes. They would take a lot more effort to get off. So, in the mean time, why not have a conversation.

“I… I was thinking about something lately… why do you feel like you have to hurt others and yourself for the sake of everyone else?”

“Well, it’s obvious! If hurting one of a few people can bring hope to a lot more people, then it’s an easy choice to make! Especially when it’s myself. I truly have no worth, so being used for hope just gives my life meaning-“

“No, I meant did anything happen in your life to make you think this way about yourself?”

“Well, my whole life was kinda… rough. But, it doesn’t and shouldn’t matter to an ultimate like you! Wow…. Hahahah, I truly can’t comprehend why someone would be wasting their time freeing me. Don’t you know how dangerous I am? Or maybe…. It’s because you’re the ultimate hope! Ahahah…. HAHAHAH! All of this would make sense! You came to save me because you-“

“Nagito, please,” you tossed the ropes aside after finally getting them off, “don’t say such things about yourself. Please.”

To his surprise, you placed your hand on his head. Even by the littlest of touch, just a hand resting on his white hair, causes his face to erupt in a massive but light blush. But you had other things on your mind. Such as his hair. His hair looked very fluffy at first, but now touching it, it felt very matted and tangly, as if he thinks he doesn’t even deserve to take care of himself. This needed to stop. First others treating him poorly, and now himself? Good thing you knew exactly what to do. After spending this whole time collecting all the determination you could, you decided it was time to stop acting like a little baby and take charge.

“Nagito, you’re coming with me. I’m going to show you that you truly are worth something. Here, take my hand.”

As Nagito’s eyes looked up at you, he swear for a second you looked exactly like an Angel. The air around you seemed to glow and sparkle, imagining a shining halo above your head and a large pair of silky wings on your back. It was so beautiful, he felt like he could cry. He timidly reached out to you, not even thinking he deserved to touch someone as hopeful as you. As soon as his hand of in yours, you carefully helped him to his feet. He groaned from the feeling of finally getting to stand up.

“You know… the more I look at you, the more I really want to take care of you. Come on, let’s go to my cottage. I’ll run you a nice warm bath, get you some food and brush your hair. Does that sound nice?”

He was too stunned to speak at your graciousness to scum like him. But… the mroe he thought about it, the more the idea peaked his interest.

“I… heheh, if this is truly something you want, I would be a disgrace to stop you.”

You gave him a comforting smile before heading back to your dorm.

.

..

….

After a few minutes, you exited your bathroom and approached Nagito, who was sitting a bit uncomfortably on your bed. His posture was stiff, as if he was too scared to more or even breath as to not ruin your bed. He was already so lucky, he was almost expecting something catastrophic to happen.

“Okay, the bath is pretty much ready. I even added some soap in there to make it all bubbly! Follow me.”

Nagito nodded and anxiously gulped. He followed you into the bathroom, staring in awe at the bathtub, which looked so warm and pretty with all the bubbles in it. It was almost like this was a dream. And if it was, he never, ever wanted to wake it.

“Here, test the water to see if it’s okay with you.”

Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Test the water? Uh, okay. If you want me to. But it truly doesn’t matter. As long as you say it’s okay, i won’t ever protest.”

You shook your head.

“Please Nagito. I told you, degrading yourself isn’t something you should be doing so often. It’s okay ti be self critical sometimes, but when it’s just about testing to see if the water is a good temperature or not, please understand that I respect your opinion. I want this to be about you… I want you to feel better after all the stuff Sōda tried to do. “

He could honestly feel tears welling up in his eyes again, but he pushed them away. He didn’t want to make you worry about him anymore then Joey currently were. He turned back to the tub and slowly stuck a few fingers in. Even though it was only his fingers, he already felt his body relaxing at the warm temperature.

“It’s… perfect. I… Um.. if you want I, I’m ready whenever you would like me to..”

You gave him an exhausted smile. At least he was trying.

“Then yes, if you want to get in, you can. I’ll close my eyes so you can undress.”

Nagito nodded before you covered your hands over your eyes. You heard faint slashing noises, which were the sounds of Nagito getting into the bath. He let out a low, barly audible sign, feeling all the tension in his body dissipate. It was almost magical. He usually takes cold showers because sits the quickest way to get clean without feeling like he is wasting other people’s warm water, so this was fairly new for him. You peaked between your fingers, putting your hands down as you saw the very content Nagito resting against the edge of the tub with a dazed expression. He was so flipping adorable! You giggled at the sight.

“Would it be okay if I wash you hair?”

“If you want to, I would stop you.”

“But, do you want me to?”

“… I… does it… matter how I feel?”

“Of course it does. It always matters how you feel. Now please, do you want me to?”

“…. Yes…”

“Good boy.”

As those two words fell off your tongue, it probably made you just as surprised as Nagito. Did your rally just say that?! Fuck, how embarrassing! But, on the flip side, Nagito’s brain was practically scrambling. First you freed him, then let him in your cottage, then made him a bath, and now you called him good boy? The red blush and the fucked out expression on his face was enough to tell you that he was really enjoying everything a lot right now. But, you didn’t want to ruin the mood with an sexual stuff right now.

You took a stray brush on the side of the sink and started to as carefully as you could start at the bottoms of his hair. And just as you thought, it was very, very tangled. He grunted and groaned at the pain, but didn’t speak out. If anything, he kinda felt like he deserved it so he was surprisingly, but also unsurprisingly, content.

“Mph… Nagito, please tell me the truth. How often to you spend time taking care of yourself?”

You think you already knew the answer to that, but you wanted to know the truth.

“Uh… maybe… every two days? I normally just take a cold shower… that’s… that’s really all I deserve-“

“What did I say about saying stuff like that? And only every two days? No wonder your hair is so tangled… don’t worry, I’ll make it better.”

“You know… after brushing your hair out a little, it looks a lot more fluffy now. It’s kinda pretty.

“You… hehe… you’re… so hopeful.”

Nagito couldn’t help but feel more relaxed then he has every felt in his life. And who could blame him? He was taking a nice, warm bath, having his hair brushed, and even being praised every so often! Before he could stop himself, he started falling asleep. His breathing slowed and his body went limp. You honestly thought something bad happened. But as you listened to his shallow breathing, you realized he just fell asleep. And fuck, was he adorable. He had the cutest face, so still and pristine, almost like a porcelain doll. And the fact that all it took for him to fall asleep was just taking care of him and treeating him like a normal human being made your heart melt and crack at the same time. At that moment, you knew what you were going to do. It was very likely Nagito hadn’t received this kind of treatment in his childhood, which could have been damaging to him. No wonder he always treats himself poorly. So, you decided you want to try and make up for that. To try and treat him as well as you can to show him that someone cares about him. Because you knew in your heart, even thought he is slightly psychotic and tried to commit murder, all because of the unknown events of his past, he were sure that you loved him.

As Nagito’s eyes adjusted to his surroundings, he found himself laying down in your bed with… your arms wrapped around him?! Were you… spooning him?!? He wanted to jump up or push himself away from you, but he didn’t want to wake you. And why would he want to jump out of your arms in the first place? They felt so warm… so comforting… he almost couldn’t handle. He really couldn’t handle everything that you do to him! It made he feel like he was something delicate, something that needed to be preserved. And to be honest, it was very addictive. He wore a familiar blush and smile on his face as he pushed his body against yours, hugging your arms tighter around him. You smelled so good… you felt so good… at first, he thought you were going to do all this and leave, which would be an acceptable thing in his mind, but no… you stayed here with him. You did so much just to stay with him. It gave him so many good feelings… good feelings of hope. He thought he would need to kill someone or himself so it could raise others spirits, but you… if he just finds ways to brighten your hope so you brighten his, maybe it would make giving other people hope a lot easier. Yes…. Yes, this was a great idea. But to be honest, it’s not all just about hope that makes him want to be closer to you. It’s also because it just feels so fucking good to do so. :) when you wake up, expect to be greeted with a spotless room, some food sitting on the table, and Nagito still wrapped in your arms.

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