Friendly Reminder That Wolverine Dated Hercules

i like to think jason uses his scars for his friends/family advantages and not even in a cool guy way, just in a lame way to get the other robins and vigilantes to think twice about their actions

——————

dicks kid: what happened to your face uncle jayjay

jason: i didn’t eat my vegetables

——————

Bruce: i need Damian to start listening to me, he’s getting to age of rebellion

Jason: i got you

[later]

Bruce: did you seriously tell Damian I fed you to killer croc when you were little and that’s why you ended up with your scars?

Jason: is he listening?

Bruce:

Jason: your welcome

——————

this could work with all the batfamily members actually

[when Duke was first starting to be signal]

Nightwing: oh don’t even get me started about the one i have on my upper bicep because i didn’t follow orders and got ran over by the riddler

Signal: ???

Red Robin: oh and i lost my spleen because i decided to fight assassins by myself

Nightwing: Tim what

Red Robin: !

i have had only halbarry on my brain for 3 days straight

This applies to both of them btw

Bruce trying to shove talk his in law

Bruce: *opens his mouth*

Wally: *zooms away*

———————

Bruce: *long spiel*

Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.

Roy: *takes out one earbud*

Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?

Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*

———————

Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.

Bruce: Sure.

Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?

Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.

———————

Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.

Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*

Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*

Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*

———————

Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*

Bruce: It's too early for this.

Steph: It's three PM.

———————

Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—

Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.

Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*

———————

Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.

Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?

Bruce: ...You may proceed.

———————

Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.

Bruce: Did you say playDATE?

———————

Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.

Selina: Is this really necessary?

Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!

Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.

———————

Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.

The writers of future state got told this was a dystopian au not part of mainline canon and immediately jumped into making stephcass angsty exes. The closet was made of even more transparent glass than Batgirls and I respect it.

To keep up with the trend:

Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic:

Honorable Mention: Bruce Wayne

jensen ackles as young alfred is sth i never know i need

Weather forecast predicts absolute foolery

He’s a very professional Catholic Priest

Yaoiful yuri

He/they for nya btw

average 1980s dick grayson panel is dick looking at joey and being like wow! I sure feel different when I’m around joey! must be because we’re bestiessss :D