{toge inumaki x f!reader}
summary: toge inumaki, the barista at your local campus coffee shop, is the cutest man to ever cross your life— the both of you clicking fast and becoming the best of friends as the years flew by together… but you were in love. uncertain of crossing that line between friendship and lovers as you focused mainly on trying to see if he even liked you back. but as for toge? he was focused on trying not to burden you for the rest of your life because of his inability to speak, wanting you and only you, but juggling and tormented over his labored silent existence, hurting you in the process.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, college!au, FLUUUFFFF SO MUCH, pet names, TOGE LOVES YOU BROOO, angst!!! but with comfort!!, happy ending, SMUTTTT, p in v sex, fingering, creampie, doggy hehe, mentions of alcohol and drinking, sorority party, toge is a barista ouuu, cursing, best friends to lovers trope, reader and toge argue, all characters are aged up.
word count: 15.2k
authors note: YEEEOOOOWWWWW this fic was originally NOOTTTT supposed to be 15k but i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again I CAN NEVA STOP YAPPING MY GOD??? i hope you guys love this one as much as i do though it is SOOOOOO CUTEEE man :(( thank you SO SO MUCH for your love and support as ALWAYS, AND I LOVE YOUUUU AHHH MWAH MWAH HAVE A GOOD DAY OKAY <333
anyone that was a regular at the shop knew toge inumaki didn’t really ever speak.
and it was something you found out on your first day of college, running to the nearest coffee shop at eight-thirty in the fucking morning looking for something to snack on and wake you up before lecture, choosing to go to the one just around the corner from campus through a recommendation of a friend— but not knowing at all that you were about to run into the cutest man to ever plague your god damn existence, as well as your bestest friend in the entire world.
toge was the main barista and cashier at the shop, his mixology skill incomparable as no one else on the floor could replicate it successfully without errors the way he did— ringing customers up while simultaneously throwing coffee bases and syrups in a blender, topping each corresponding one with whipped cream on various orders before sliding it over to the pick up counter, all without even breaking a sweat through the times that you’ve shamefully watched him work from your little table before or after classes.
the first time you met him, you thought he was just having a bad day… and that he also hated you.
you had politely told him your order while at the same time ogling his handsome face— a small and simple sweet vanilla cold brew drink with a little blueberry scone on the side— when toge didn’t even spare you a glance and just tapped in your order on the screen, turning the tablet over to showcase the total before moving to the back to get started on your drink, not a single word leaving his scarf covered mouth as you silently paid and got a table.
it’s not like you were expecting anything out of it, but you hoped you would at least catch the color of his eyes before you had to leave.
and it went on like that for a total of four days— you saying the exact same order but just switching up the little pastry depending on your mood (it only consisting of your usual three— blueberry scone, cake pop, and cheese danish), toge’s eyes never leaving the register or drinks he made as you waited, and him sliding over your order in record time as he got started on attending the next customer.
on the fifth day, toge finally looked up.
the way he took your order didn’t change, but when it came to placing it over the pick up counter where you stood, your eyes widened when you noticed he was already looking at you, a grin on his face as he personally handed you your drink instead of sliding it over.
his eyes were purple.
and you just about fucking screamed, your days of hopelessly coming in to try and ridiculously take longer peeks at his face whenever you could finally paying off in that moment— and not expecting whatsoever to see the sides of his mouth marked with tattooed snake eyes either.
that day was also the day you noticed toge knew sign language.
most of the time toge took orders quickly without a word and punched in requests, but from time to time when a customer had a question about a menu item or what the passcode to the bathroom was, he always had a little whiteboard next to him with a black marker to scribble out what he needed to say— regulars already knowing how he communicated and not batting a single strange eye.
but on that day, a new customer came in that you didn’t recognize to be a regular, signing to one of the confused employees at the cash register until the employee turned around and tapped toge on the shoulder, pointing and saying words you couldn’t really hear before he quickly nodded and put down the blender he was holding, going over to sign.
you were mesmerized by it, the way his hands and fingers came together and away from each other to form different words and sentences completely unknown to those who didn’t understand the language, something that was beautiful to you and made you want to actually learn so you could potentially have the liberty to talk to him some time in the future if you could.
the next time you came into the shop early in the morning, toge was at the register. and upon seeing you walk in, he smoothly looked down and started typing away already on the screen, seemingly not listening and leaving you standing there confused.
“um—” you stammered. “can i…”
you trailed off as you watched him pick up his whiteboard and uncap the marker, scribbling.
‘i remembered your order.’
you froze, your heart doing enormous leaps considering this was the first time toge actually spoke to you apart from getting your order down and smiling at you.
“oh! really?” you laughed nervously. “…do i come in here too often then?”
he gave you a friendly grin and shook his head, erasing what he had before writing again.
‘do you want a blueberry scone, cake pop, or cheese danish?’
your eyes bulged. “you know that too?!”
he laughed, the sound making your hands clammy as you giggled along with him shyly.
“i’ll do a cake pop today!” you smiled. “i’m running a little late and that’s— easy to eat.. you know—”
he gave you a thumbs up and nodded, signaling with his head for you to wait by the pick up counter as he scribbled another few words, turning the whiteboard around.
‘i’ll see you tomorrow :)’
your cheeks flushed pink.
“y—yeah!” you spoke gingerly. “i’ll see you toge.”
the next few times after that toge would absolutely beam whenever you came into the shop, having already scribbled down your three choices of your usual pastries before having it ready for you at the pick up counter once you chose, even every now and then asking you a simple thing or two about your classes and major from the register as you sat by your table, him propping his little whiteboard up for you to see.
and ever since you saw that toge knew sign language, you wanted to know too, your desire to communicate with him more efficiently a silly priority on your mind as you signed up for entry level sign language courses at your college, trying to learn as much as you possibly could so it’d be easier for him not always having to step back and write.
“wait wait!” you put your hands out one slow morning upon arriving at the shop, toge stopping mid tap on the screen just as he was about to input your order, eyeing you.
your fingers shook a little as you slowly signed your order and choice of pastry for the day, trying to remember and grasp what you practiced repeatedly the night before, hoping your efforts would successfully come across and that you didn’t look like a fucking idiot.
but his focused eyes followed your movements, carefully watching you sign with pinched brows until you eventually finished— a slow pearly white smile spreading across is face as his gaze flickered to yours before writing on his whiteboard, turning it.
‘you know sign language?’
“barely!” you sputtered. “i um.. i started taking classes a couple of months ago but i’m not very good… did you— get it though? what i said?”
he quickly nodded.
‘it was a little choppy but good! good job y/n :)’
you breathed out a sigh of relief, a hand over your hammering chest as you swallowed.
“oh thank god.” you breathed. “i was worried i looked stupid or was accidentally telling you something weird.”
he laughed and waved you off, a slight tint to his cheeks as he wrote.
‘how’s learning it overall?’
“hard as fuck.” you mumbled, but peering up at him with a smile. “i’m trying though! i really love the language and i love learning it… it’s just hard because my professor kind of sucks and teaches it too fast.”
he hummed, moving around in the back while preparing your order before coming around through the little swinging door and over to your usual table, you standing dumbfounded at the register still as he stood there with your pastry and his whiteboard.
toge pointed to your seat.
“oh!” you gasped, walking over and taking a seat, smiling gratefully once he placed your coffee and cheese danish down for you, but stiffening once he scooched the chair out across from you and sat, your cheeks ablaze again.
“you wanna—” you looked at him with furrowed brows. “you wanna sit with me?”
he laughed a little and nodded.
“but the…” you pointed to the cash register.
he uncapped his marker and wrote, turning the board over.
‘it’s a slow day. if someone comes in i’ll just go.’
“oh— okay!” you breathed out nervously, wringing your fingers together as you kept them on your lap.
your thoughts were speeding across every corner of your mind, not knowing exactly why toge chose to sit with you right now but hanging on to the moment anyways, you anxiously trying to come up with things to say to get to know him a little better.
“i like your um..” you pointed to the corners of your mouth. “—your tattoos. did they hurt?”
he smiled and wrote.
‘thanks :) and not really, my throat hurts more than the tattooing itself hehe.’
your eyes snapped up to his.
“your throat?” you asked softly. “is it okay?”
‘oh it’s fine!’ he wrote. ‘well no but it just hurts a lot when i talk so i just don’t.’
you hummed in understanding, the missing puzzle as to why exactly toge never spoke out loud to anyone in the first place finally clicking into place.
“i’m sorry toge…” you expressed sweetly. “have you tried— well i assume you have but… like getting it checked out? or maybe honey with lemon or—”
he turned his board around.
‘yeah :P nothing really works. L for me.’
you giggled, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth in a smile.
‘can you show me what else you know in sign language?’
“ohhh this is it.” you swallowed. “you’re about to laugh in my face and think i’m stupid.”
he laughed and gave you a look.
‘you’re silly. just show me.’
you huffed before timidly showing him very basic simple phrases that you managed to pick up from class out of the millions that were shown— short choppy kiddy words that didn’t even serve to get by in a quick conversation, but enough for simple one worded responses.
“oh! and i like this one the most!—” you put the bases of your palms together and rubbed a little.
toge let out a squeaky cute laugh as he watched you before quickly picking up his marker and writing.
‘cheese? your favorite thing to sign is cheese?’
“yeah!—” you giggled shyly. “it’s funnn! and i never fuck it up.”
he nodded with a gleam in his eye.
‘i could teach you sign language if you want.’
you froze, eyes wide as you looked at him.
“seriously?” you quickly leaned forward. “are— are you sure? you definitely don’t have to at all toge… i don’t want to burden you or anything.”
his eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head.
‘not burden at all.’ he wrote. ‘i’m a lazy fart i don’t do much besides this so it’s fine.’
you giggled and nodded excitedly, a hopeful shine in your eyes as you looked at him.
“o—okay!” you agreed. “i’d like that a lot… thank you toge!”
he was so nice.
and just as he was about to write something else, a customer came through the doors and up to the cash register, toge quickly scribbling something down before standing and showing you, walking backwards.
‘i’ll talk to you later little mouse :)’
you laughed loudly, a hand flying over your mouth as you did.
that nickname stuck.
“bye toge!” you responded kindly, gathering your things before heading out for the day with your coffee and pastry.
unfortunately for you, midterm season came and knocked the absolute shit out of you for a week, you unable to go back to the coffee shop to see toge until it was all fucking over, your heart heavy over the fact that you literally failed your sign language test, but giddy and excited nonetheless to finally see him after a while and go back to your usual happy routine.
and as for toge, he was left utterly confused.
was he too forward? did you think it was weird when he called you little mouse? did you think he was weird?
was it something he did? why had you stopped coming into the shop after going in continuously for like weeks at this point?
and he had just gotten the courage to look you in the eye too.
toge literally had your order ready every single day with your three pastries warmed up and toasted if need be, your sweet vanilla cold brew drink ready to go the moment you walked through those doors at any given point and time… but you just didn’t come. him leaning on the register counter bored out of his mind and dejected over the disappearance of the pretty nice girl that always came in and talked to him at his work, ending up always drinking the coffee he made for you silently and munching on the three pastries you chose between when it was time to close.
but when you finally came in, early in the morning like you always did and looking forward to seeing him again— toge was hunched over the counter with his chin propped up on his hand like he had been for the past week, you unknowing of that as you walked over with a smile.
“hi toge!”
he shot up, eyes wide with his palms flat on the counter.
“y/n!—”
he spoke.
toge spoke and he immediately cowered over in a fit of painful sounding coughs that racked through his body, his mouth shoved into his elbow as he quickly pushed through the doors and walked to the back, leaving you there wide eyed and completely fucking shocked.
he said your name.
“toge..?” you called softly, timidly as you leaned over the counter to try and catch a look at him from inside the employee break room, still hearing faint coughing. “hey— are you okay?”
he returned to the floor chugging back a bottle of cough syrup like nothing before tossing it into the nearest bin and swallowing, snatching his marker to write on the mini whiteboard, holding it up.
‘where the fuck have you been?’
you looked at him with an apologetic little face, your eyes soft.
“i’m sorryyy!” you whined. “i’m so sorry it was midterm week for me and i was grinding so hard and i just didn’t have time to come in… it was torture.”
you guiltily bit your lip. “…are you mad at me?”
he shook his head slowly, his shoulders visibly relaxing at the confirmation that it wasn’t anything he did that could’ve potentially put you off.
‘not at all mouse :P.’ he wrote before reaching to the side and sliding over your already made coffee and three pastries, lined up.
and surprise crossed your face.
“you had it ready?” you gasped. “toge! thank you!”
you quickly opened your book bag and he placed a hand over your arm, stopping you and shaking his head ‘no.’
“no?” you asked softly. “what do you mean? i’m just gonna pay.”
toge only shook his head again with a small smile, nudging his head over for you to sit at your usual table.
your shoulders slumped. “now what would you do if i just burst out crying right now.”
he laughed loudly and let go of your arm to write, leaving a burning fuzzy feeling on your skin in return.
‘cry? why?’
“because you’re so nice!” you whined. “please let me pay. i already feel bad not coming in for a week… especially after you offered to teach me sign language.”
‘go sit down mouse. i’ll sit with you in a little bit.’
you begrudgingly stood in place before nodding and taking your drink with your bag of pastries, walking over to the side and plopping down on a seat.
toge had a bit of a rush in and couldn’t join you for nearly an hour, him constantly shooting you apologetic looks and you frantically waving him off and reassuring him that it was okay, you astronomically thankful that you didn’t have class that day until later in the evening.
but when the rush was eventually over, toge dropped down on the seat across from yours with a big tired sigh and his whiteboard, head down.
you gently poked his arm then, and he looked up.
“is your throat okay?” you asked, face serious. “and you?”
he nodded, giving you a warm smile before grabbing his marker.
‘it happens sometimes, i just slipped up. L for me again.’
you smiled sadly and retracted your hand from across the table to settle back over your lap.
“i like your voice… if that makes you feel any better.” you spoke shyly, looking down at your fingers.
toge bit the inside of his cheek and smiled cheekily.
‘thanks mouse… but i know something that’ll make me feel even better hehe.’
“what?” you asked curiously.
he wrote.
‘give me your number before you disappear on me again you little rat.’
“hey!” you whined. “i thought i was a mouse..”
he chuckled cutely and nudged your foot gently from underneath the table, erasing and writing again.
‘i’m just kidding. we need to set up those sign language lessons soon though :D.’
and at the reminder of that you groaned, body slumping over the table as toge eyed you confusedly.
“you’re gonna laugh. or be mad. or disappointed. or all three..” you mumbled, voice slightly muffled.
he poked your head repeatedly and you lifted it, chin resting lazily on the table as he looked at you expectantly.
“i failed my sign language midterm.”
toge snorted but quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, and you whined again before shoving your face back down as he quickly shook you by the shoulders, trying to get you to look up again.
“no no no i’m a disgrace i’m a failure i studied so fucking hard for nothing it’s over i’m not cut out—”
he kept shaking and delicately pinching you before you finally looked up again.
“what.” you mumbled, eyes dragging to his propped up whiteboard.
‘i’m sorry i laughed… but don’t worry you’ll pass the next one. you’ll be okay.’
“and how do you know.” you grumbled.
‘because now you have delicious me, duh :P’
you giggled softly and lifted yourself from the table, leaning back against your chair.
he gave you a warm knowing smile before writing again.
‘cheer up mouse… i promise i’ll help you.’
a slow cutesy grin spread across your face, one that made him swallow hard as you looked at him through your lashes.
“thank you toge… do you— do you work tomorrow?”
his gaze flickered up in thought before he shook his head, eyes landing back on yours.
“maybe we could start… tomorrow? if you’re free? and if— if it’s okay of course!” you stammered nervously, gnawing at your bottom lip as you waited for his response.
his cheeks fluttered pink a little before quickly nodding.
“okay!” you breathed excitedly. “great! we could do it here? or—”
he frantically shook his head no and uncapped his marker.
‘my dickhead manager will pull me to work if i’m here on my day off.’
you laughed and nodded. “okay not here then.. where? we can try my place but i already know my parents are gonna be annoying about bringing a guy over so..”
he smiled and looked down to write.
‘we can do my apartment mouse. i live alone.’
your eyes widened. “you have your own place? really?”
he slowly nodded.
“that’s so cool toge! oh my goodness i can’t wait to see it now!”
you bounced enthusiastically in your seat and he chuckled, perplexed as to why you would ever be excited to see something like that, but choosing not to question it.
‘it’s kind of small, and i mainly just sleep and be lazy if i’m not working or streaming.’
you tilted your head. “streaming..?”
he pursed his lips and looked down again to scribble, an embarrassed undertone to his face before propping the whiteboard up.
‘i play games and stream to earn extra money on the side like a little loser.’
you giggled, your eyebrows slightly furrowing before relaxing. “why would that make you a little loser toge? you’re making money while doing something you like… i think that’s really fun!”
an eager attractive grin ran across his face before quickly writing again.
‘i’m glad you think so :) but give me your number neow.’
“oh that’s right!” you beamed, taking his offered whiteboard and marker before quickly writing down your number with a heart in the corner, passing it back.
“just text me whenever and we can set a time for tomorrow okay?”
he nodded, his eyes trained to the heart you drew.
for the rest of his shift, toge spent it bouncing around between your table and back to the cash register to take orders and make drinks, seemingly finishing each beverage ten times fucking faster than usual just so he could come over and talk to you before you had to leave again for your evening class.
but you didn’t want to leave whatsoever, and you even juggled the possibility of skipping class to stay longer with toge, but the next class happened to be sign language, and you didn’t want to fail another fucking midterm by not showing up and missing material.
you threw your trash away before grabbing your book bag and slinging it over your shoulder once it was time, you slowly and timidly trying to get toge’s attention as you walked to the exit.
your shy raised hand caught his eye in between him blending and pouring drinks, toge quickly putting everything down and reaching for the whiteboard from the register, erasing whatever he had from a previous customer to write and flipping it over with a silly smile.
‘bye mouse!’ it read. ‘i’ll see you tomorrow! :P.’
and that was nearly two and a half years ago, the heart you drew in the corner of his whiteboard still there to this day as he answered questions, responded, or scribbled directions in any given situation with it no matter if it was in or outside of work— always wanting to have a little part of you with him wherever he went.
toge also kept his promise and taught you sign language, you trying so so fucking hard every waking day you spent with him at his cute little studio apartment— learning phrases and properly constructing it into sentences that actually made sense as you both sat sprawled on the floor for hours on end, him patient and kind as he watched you shakily sign and accept his gentle corrections with an open mind.
but although your sentences were continuously choppy and a little off at that point in time, they were definitely in way better condition than when you tried to study and learn it on your own… and toge was unsurprisingly a really good teacher— ten times more helpful than your literal freaking licensed professor whom you had started with, as toge would actually take the time to write and explain each concept in the best way he possibly could for you to understand.
now you were comfortable enough with it to respond in very simple sentences and phrases, but stronger at understanding it whenever toge signed to you, a plus when he clumsily forgot his whiteboard somewhere or when he just didn’t want to use it.
and ever since that first day you went over to his place to learn and study, you literally never went a day without going back again, your cute routine with him being going to his apartment every second of the day to hang out with him or do the things that you needed to do— some that could easily be done in your own space and home and room, but you refusing to for the sole purpose of wanting to be with toge all of the time, him feeling the exact same way and going as far as to giving you a copy of the key to his apartment.
(toge :D): MOUSE
(toge :D): MOUSE
your phone buzzed repeatedly just as you were walking up the steps to toge’s floor, you nearly dropping it over the uncontrollable buzz.
(toge :D): LITTLE MOUSE
(you): YES <3
(toge :D): ouuu a heart?? i didn’t know we were married :P
you let out a giggle and quickly typed a response, your face hot.
(you): mmm i don’t know my ring finger is quite literally bare right now :/ maybe next time!
(toge :D): YOOOOO
(toge :D): it’s because it’s gonna be under your pillow
(toge :D): like from the tooth fairy
(toge :D): a big shiny cock
(toge :D): I MEAN ROCK
(toge :D): ROCK I MEANT ROCK SORRY
you burst out laughing as you readjusted your book bag on your shoulder and turned the corner, nearing his apartment number.
(toge :D): …please still come over
(toge :D): oh wait that’s why i texted you! :P
(toge :D:) WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU
(toge :D): YOU’RE LATE MOUSE
(you): LMFAAOOO
(you): IM COMMINGGGG i’m literally down the hall sir
(you): but now that you yelled at me HMMMM i don’t feel like going today <//3
(toge :D): NO
(toge :D): i’m sorry i’m on my knees
(toge :D): i’m begging
(toge :D): i even brought you a blueberry scone from work
(toge :D): and i’ll buy you whatever you want
(toge :D): FUCK COME OVER NOOOWWWWW
(you): SAY PLEASE AND ADDRESS ME CORRECTLY
(toge :D): PLEEEAASSEEE MOUUSEE
you bit your lip in attempts at suppressing your giddy smile, it not really fucking working as you arrived at his door, pulling your keys out from your bag and shuffling through them to find his— one that had a tiny onigiri design on it.
(you): coming!! <33
(toge :D): so you’re saying we’re married again :P
the door clicked open upon you twisting the key in, stepping inside before closing it behind you while juggling your textbooks and locking it, toge seated on his little gaming chair when he swiveled around and waved at you with a big smile, standing.
“toge!” you gasped exhaustedly, stepping over to him. “you have got to help me please my god—”
he grabbed the textbooks from your arms and walked over to his desk, setting them down before turning back around and giving you a curious look.
‘what’s wrong?’ he signed.
“everything! everything is wrong sign language two is not for the weak oh my goodness gracious—”
you flopped down with your back flat on his bed, eyes shut in agony as he watched you amusedly.
“my professor’s teaching us grammar now and it just gets harder! i don’t know where to properly put anything or— or sign anything.”
he giggled softly and you peeked an eye open, looking at him.
‘i’ll help you mouse.’ he signed, stretching a hand out and you taking it, letting him pull you up to sit as you lazily did so.
“but i ask you too much.” you pouted. “and i feel bad every time i do, especially when you’re playing.”
he snorted, going over to his little dining table and pulling out a chair, lifting it over to his desk gaming set up area and placing it down before ushering you over with his hand.
“nuh uh.” you shook your head.
toge gave you a half lidded look and sat on the dining chair, him always saving his big comfy gaming chair for you whenever you sat with him at his desk since the first time you came over— his eyes expectant.
you deeply sighed and stood, trudging over to his gaming chair before plopping yourself down.
“you don’t have to toge… it’s okay.” you spoke gently. “you’ve been teaching me for like— two years already. my new year’s resolution was to stop bothering you about it and let you live.”
he slid his little whiteboard over and erased what he previously had, uncapping his marker and writing.
he showed you.
‘i’ll always help you and you know that :( and it doesn’t bother me you rat, i do it because i want to.’
or because he’s in love with you. either or.
you giggled and lifted your hand, your index finger erasing over the word ‘rat.’ “—it’s mouusee toge. it’s like you get off on abusing and hurting your bestest mestest friend.”
he laughed boyishly and put down his whiteboard, sliding over one of your textbooks from across the table to him and flipping through several pages, reading to try and see exactly where you were at by the sticky notes you left behind in the margins.
“don’t you have to stream today though?” you asked timidly. “like right now?”
he simply shrugged, turning a page as he reached over to write again on his board.
‘i can stream later tonight—’
he quickly turned it around again to add something just as you had finished reading, him flipping it back over.
‘—with you asleep on my bed. because you’re sleeping over. and that’s FINAL.’
you laughed loudly while leaning forward, your cheeks brewing up a little flush at the request even though you’ve slept over at his place plenty of times before— the thought of him actively wanting you to making your heart bounce around erratically in your chest.
“fuck i don’t know…” you feigned concern. “i’m not sure if i can toge i’m sorry.”
he slumped, eyes so sad that it made you almost sick to your stomach as you struggled to commit to the small bit.
‘why not?’ he signed.
“because i’m missing something.” you pouted.
‘missing?’ he signed again. ‘missing what?’
you snickered.
“my ring!” you extended your hand to him and wiggled your little fingers, you poking the tip of your tongue out to the side cutely. “the one you promised me over text.”
toge breathed out a laugh and nearly dropped dead at your cute expression, him mimicking you and sticking his tattooed tongue out before picking up his whiteboard from his lap to write.
‘i told you the tooth fairy has it :D you have to be patient little mouse.’
you giggled and put your arm down, giving him a stern silly look.
“kayyy thennn!” you dragged, sitting up in your chair and looking over your textbook. “i’ll be expecting my big shiny rock under my pillow in the morning sir.”
he saluted you and you grinned, the rest of the time being spent with toge trying to teach you as best as he could with you hopelessly following along, feeling like the dumbest bitch alive and embarrassed whenever you got something wrong.
but toge never minded, not one single bit— even when you made the same grammar mistake literally three times in a row and him correcting you each freaking time the same exact way, no sign of annoyance or frustration on his face as he worked with you.
and that’s one of the biggest reasons as to why you loved toge so much. since the moment you met him all he wanted to do was just help you, regardless of the fact if you were a stranger or not as he generously always put the things he needed to do aside for you— making sure you were always okay and getting the things you needed no matter how many times you told him he didn’t need to worry, you feeling special and appreciated whenever you were with him no matter what.
you hoped to god he felt the same… and you hoped you weren’t being straight delusional when you noticed the way he looked at you a little longer than he should have at times, or when you read too much into the casual little pecks on your head from him, or when you had told him how much you loved just studying on the floor beside him while he streamed but made a joke that sometimes you couldn’t see because it was so dark in his apartment, toge literally the next day buying you a little flower lily lamp to set and prop up right next to you so you could comfortably study, him laughing and wiping your tears when you ridiculously cried over his consideration.
so did that mean he loved you too?
“toge…” you murmured in the midst of him fixing a signage error of the word ‘before’ with his fingers.
he pointed to your hands so you could take note of the alteration he made, waiting for you to carry on then.
you smiled softly in gratitude before continuing.
“have you ever—” you pursed your lips. “have you ever um… well— actually nevermind—”
he blinked before slowly lifting his hands.
‘have i ever what?’ toge signed, and you quickly shook your head.
“nevermind! it’s okay.”
he gently nudged your foot with his, beckoning you to tell him as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
fuck.
okay if he kisses your head right now then you’ll tell him.
“i forgot toge.” you lied. “that’s why i said nevermind… oopsie!”
he laughed and leaned forward, pecking your forehead before reaching a hand up to ruffle up your hair.
fuck!
no you take it back you can’t do it you can’t—
‘silly.’ he signed, turning his attention back to your textbook and flipping a page.
he wondered what it was, but figured it would come back to you eventually and you’d tell him soon after.
by the end of the day, it was like there was an actual fucking light at the end of the tunnel for you and your sign language two class— you going from being over a thousand percent sure that you were about to pathetically fail the entire course, to having a shiny little sliver of hope because of toge’s ability to get anything through your big head and make you understand, feeling eternally grateful for him in many ways than one.
and you wanted him, so fucking bad, ever since you saw him at the coffee shop, that you thought in that moment while toge set up his bed for you to sleep in while you sat on his desk chair, dressed in his big white t-shirt and pajama pants, that if you just— maayybee tested the waters and crossed the line a little bit without it being too drastic, that you’d get your answer.
but did you want to know? what if he didn’t love you back? what the fuck were you supposed to do then?
cry and wither away, that’s what. you don’t think you’ve ever loved someone as much as you loved toge.
you hear the familiar squeaks of his black marker streaking against his little whiteboard, the sound pulling you from your thoughts and you looked up.
‘you’re so spacey today pretty. are you still worried about your class? :(‘
pretty.
“oh!” you stood. “no toge i feel a lot better about it actually because of you… thank you.”
he grinned, nodding before walking and leaning over his pc to set up his streaming session, mouse clicking away.
“toge—”
he looked over at you with his gorgeous purple eyes and you froze, cheeks heating up as your wobbly lips struggled to come together and fucking speak.
“nevermind nevermind—”
his eyes narrowed, snatching his whiteboard and quickly writing.
‘you did this earlier today too. tell me what’s wrong.’
“no.”
‘no?’ he signed. ‘tell me y/n.’
“no! not my name!” you dived dramatically on his comfy blanket filled bed and groaned. “you only call me by my name when you’re mad and i don’t like it.”
he sat next to you on the edge of the bed and pulled on your shoulder slightly, you fully turning around on your back and looking at him anxiously.
toge wished he could continuously beg you and ask you what was wrong so you’d just tell him— him at times sick of constantly having to pause and make you wait so he could get his point across, a painful fact that never left his mind and made him feel like the biggest burden in your life.
that’s why he never wanted to cross that line you both always seemed to lean over without meaning to. the line that’s kept you both on this limbo of half best friends and half more as he sometimes hugged you a lot longer or snuck in a couple of self indulgent cheek and hand kisses to your skin… but that’s as far as he’d really let himself get. toge didn’t want to permanently have you drag him along in your life no matter how much he wanted to be in it as something way more.
you deserved noise, you deserved loud love, you deserved someone who could actually speak to you— things he mourned over that he could never give you.
and he knew this. he’s known from the moment you walked into the coffee shop the very first time even though you swore up and down that he noticed you later, you unaware that he actually saw you right off the fucking bat on the first day and couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye— knowing you were going to be the biggest heartbreak of his life and ruin him if he so managed as to let you in when you kept coming back.
but toge was selfish, and he couldn’t help himself.
so he tried to compromise.
there’s nothing wrong with being just friends… right? a casual conversation between two people while he was at work? to then bid goodbye and say hello to every now and then?
except a quick conversation with you turned into ones that lasted almost his entire shift sometimes, and then casual meet ups turned into sleepovers at his apartment when he offered to teach you sign language, and then little hugs of farewell and hello’s turned into him kissing you practically fucking everywhere that wasn’t your mouth with the tightest embraces, him completely going against what he swore he wasn’t going to do and damning himself for life.
and even more so when you had joked about wanting a ring that one day, him actually going out the next day and buying you matching ones even though he didn’t even know if he was strong enough to actually give yours to you.
but toge was still freaking selfish.
because as you looked at him now, your gorgeous face anxious and thought-filled about things he wished you would tell him without worry, the outline and shape of your plush soft lips burning his pupils in such a way that it felt like a privilege, your body in his clothes—
made him want to speak the three worded phrase he was only allowed to say in his sleepy dreams if he was lucky.
“what toge?” you spoke softly, reaching a hand up to delicately card through the front pieces of his pale blonde hair, soft and silky as the outline of his tattooed snake eyes made you a little fuzzy.
he slowly shook his head, a far off look in his eye as he leaned over you, his face close and strained that your eyebrows pinched a little at his expression.
your hand proceeded to gently smooth down from his hair to the side of his cheek, cupping it and caressing over it with your thumb so lovingly that he nearly broke his oath.
if you said that you loved him… he wondered if he would crack. if you confessed and told him that you felt the same way, he juggled the possibility of ruining his own life by giving in and letting you take on the burden of his existence just to have you like he’s always wanted—
“i love you.” you told him.
toge’s big wide afraid eyes stared back at you as you smiled sheepishly, his breath caught in his throat.
“i—” you hesitated, playing with the hem of his shirt. “i really love you. like in the way where i want you to like— kiss me and stuff in your free time…”
he huffed a shocked breath, his face still just alarmed and strained and you started to believe that maybe you actually were delusional and misinterpreted things, his lack of anything making you second guess.
“i’m sorry.” you blurted. “i’m sorry i thought—”
and toge was still selfish as he let his lips fall down and crash against yours, moving so feverishly and hungrily that you couldn’t keep up as he dug his arms underneath you and around before pulling you up flush against his body, wanting you as close to him as humanely fucking possible incase he never got to do this again with you, the possibility horrifyingly still there.
“does this mean—” you spoke in between kisses, breathless. “does this mean you love me too—”
toge broke apart momentarily and quickly nodded, eyes ditzy and clouded as he panted against your lips, drunkenly lowering his head and linking his wet lips with yours again as he sloppily kissed you, laying you back down while you wrung your arms around his neck, you giddy and absolutely fucking enamored with him and that he was finally yours.
except he technically wasn’t… yet…
even when three full weeks had passed.
you still visited toge at work in the coffee shop in the mornings or the afternoon like you always did, ordering the same thing and going in to chat as he wrote his responses on his whiteboard— except now whenever rush hour would conclude, toge would greedily sneak in kisses with you at your table or hold the back of your hand to his cheek as you talked about your classes and your plans for the weekend, his conflicted mind putting his oath on the back burner for now as he tried to relish in the love he’s been wanting for so long.
and you were a little confused as to why toge hadn’t taken the initiative that night and asked you to be his girlfriend, but you didn’t complain, you too caught up in the moment when he would make out with you at his apartment in between study or streaming breaks with his hands literally all over you like a man starved, groping and squeezing at anything he could but never going over that last jump to do something intimate with you, your lovesick mind too in it to care at the moment.
that was the next compromise he made.
if you both just— just stayed this way. no official title no matter how much it pained him just so that he could continue doing these lovely lovely things with you whenever you both wanted, his mind thinking that since you both weren’t technically together that he wasn’t burdening you for life just yet, wanting to keep it this way for as long as he possibly could because toge didn’t fucking know what he was going to do when the time came for making it official.
well yes— he did know. but what he wanted to do and what he should do were two completely different things.
“togeee!” you bounded into the shop one morning, thankful that it was empty as you quickly leaned over the counter and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, him smiling wide with a flush to his face in response.
‘hi mouse :) <3’ he wrote on his whiteboard. ‘have you had something to eat yet?’
“i’m good im good! wait i haven’t ate but im good!” you spoke excitedly. “i come with newwsss. really fun news!”
he hummed and nodded, motioning for you to continue as he moved around in the back to get and warm up a breakfast sandwich for you.
“one of my friends from sign language told me she’s throwing a party at her sorority house and invited meee!” you beamed, hearing a little oven ping and then following him to your usual table so the both of you could sit.
toge gently slid your sandwich over upon scooting his chair up, warm and yummy as it sat pretty on a little pastel green plate and him signing ‘eat please’ as you grinned.
“and i know you told me once that you’ve never been to a college party, so i was wondering if you wanted to maybe.. come with me?”
he smiled softly.
‘when?’ toge signed.
“tomorrow night!” you responded, taking a bite out of your breakfast sandwich.
he nodded, thinking a little in his head before sliding his whiteboard over to write.
‘of course ill go mouse but it might be better without me.’
you faltered, swallowing. “without you? why?”
he erased and wrote again.
‘because i can’t talk. your friends might think it’s a little odd.’
“no they won’t.” you countered. “and that’s totally okay, toge. just bring your whiteboard.”
he snorted, shaking his head.
‘i’m not bringing my whiteboard silly that’s even worse.’
“but you’ll be with me.” you reasoned. “and i don’t really talk to anyone at school either besides her so it’s literally just you and i hanging out.”
you wiggled your brows. “and drinkinggg ehh?”
he laughed and eventually nodded, reaching across the table and taking your hands in his as he agreed to go, caressing his fingers over your wrists.
the familiar scent of coffee beans and vanilla— a scent you’ve come to know for almost three years now wafted and swirled around through your nose comfortingly, it permanently reminding you of toge and the time that you’ve spent with him.
he let go of your wrists to write.
‘how was sign language yesterday? are you still good?’
you swallowed the bite you were chewing on and held back a grimace.
“oh i’m doing horrendously again… but it’s all good! ignorance is bliss and i’m choosing hardcore ignorance right now.”
toge’s jaw dropped before he laughed in disbelief and picked up his marker.
‘you’re sleeping over at my place again so i can help you no exceptions sorry about it :p’
you giggled and nodded— saluting him, a mannerism you picked up on from him as he smiled brightly.
“but i do know this!” you exclaimed excitedly as you pressed the bases of your palms together and rubbed, signing the word ‘cheese’— your favorite.
toge laughed cutely and signed the same word back, unable to do much else as the doors chimed to the shop then and a group of students came in, toge’s chair scraping against the floor as he stood before giving you a quick kiss and a ruffle to your hair, his whiteboard in hand as he started making his way to the back.
‘i love you.’ he signed and you bit your bottom lip in a smile, your heart swelling obnoxiously as you watched him shuffle on and tap a few things into the register, nodding along to the groups order as you soon after gathered your things for your afternoon class.
and that night after toge taught you a little more sign language and helped you work on the things you were struggling with, you fell asleep rather earlier than usual on his bed— him reaching for one of his fluffy blankets and draping it over your sleeping gorgeous self and staring, slowly leaning down and pressing the softest kiss ever to your little warm cheek— his chest twisting and contorting with the desire to just fucking give in and stop his stupid ridiculous suffering, to just be selfish one last time and ask you to be his.
and maybe he could.
maybe toge could allow himself this one tiny thing— the most important pretty thing of all, he felt.
just once.
“toge?” you murmured sleepily, eyes pinching a little as you lazily reached out for him.
but what if you grew tired of him? of the silence?
he delicately took your outstretched hand and hummed in question.
“come sleep.” you mumbled. “with me.”
his eyes softened, the corners of his mouth curving as he carefully tapped his index finger against your cheek repeatedly, you straining your eyes open.
‘look under your pillow.’ he signed.
your groggy eyes narrowed in confusion, barely making out what he was signing in the dark but catching key words.
“under my pillow?”
he nodded, pointing.
you breathed in and propped yourself up on your elbow, lifting the pillow you were laying on and suddenly snapping the fuck awake.
a ring.
you shot up, sitting up fully as you looked at him.
he stood and reached over for his whiteboard and marker, uncapping it and writing for a moment before flipping it around and showing you.
‘i got us matching bestest mestest friends but also in love at the same time rings :]’
you picked it up, a dainty thin silver banned ring with a milky white heart in the middle, iridescent as it glowed against the moonlight streaming through his open window.
“toge—” you breathed out. “you actually… you actually got me a ring?”
he wrote, a sly little grin on his face.
‘the tooth fairy did mouse.’
you giggled then, a vibrant pink glow to your cheeks and still a little shocked as he took the jewelry piece from you and gently grabbed your hand, sliding it over your ring finger smoothly, his ring finger already having his shiny silver band on.
he put your hand down and grabbed his whiteboard again.
‘that ring is me promising to help you and love you and kiss you until i die.’ he wrote. ‘okay?’
you quickly nodded, absolutely cheesed as you threw your arms around his neck and pulled toge in— feeling so so happy and fresh and loved, like everything was officially falling into place after nearly three years of semi crossing lines and stolen glances and unanswered questions about what exactly you both were for the longest.
your pretty pretty face had toge in a daze as you looked at him like he carried the world on his shoulders, his mouth slowly coming closer and closer to yours before softly pressing against them— slow and tender as you tugged him down to you by his shirt until he climbed in and was in between your thighs.
each kiss exchange was sensual and a mouthful as you helped toge tug his shirt off over his head, your palms running over his bare skinned chest and back as he deepened his kisses, your hands quickly pulling your shirt off and his eyes bulging at the sight of your puffy tits snug and pretty in your bra.
you were desperate for him and didn’t even have to think twice about something like this as you reached and tugged a little at his jeans, signaling him to take them the fuck off—
‘baby.’ he signed shakily, not even sure why he was asking since he doesn’t think at this point he could stop, but needing to check in with you first. ‘are you sure?’
“fuck yeah i’m sure.” you whispered quickly and unzipped his pants, toge smiling big as he kicked his pants and everything else off, carefully helping you do the same until you were bare and vulnerable in front of him.
toge moved to place a hand on your thigh and you squeaked, suddenly bashful as you shyly covered your arms over your chest and squeezed your thighs together.
he leaned down and placed gentle soft kisses on your cheeks, patting a comforting hand over your head.
‘it’s okay mouse. you’re okay.’ he signed.
you nodded, comfort washing over you as you slowly let your thighs spread and your arms reveal you, his spit catching in his throat at the sight of your gorgeous fucking body beneath him, his dick embarrassingly already leaking a little bit of cum as you watched him pump it a few times.
‘you’re beautiful.’ he signed, and you blushed.
he drooled some spit over his fingers and slid it gently in between your folds, your bottom lip coming in between your teeth as you tried to hold back your moans, his digits prepping you while slipping through your hole deeming it fucking hard as he was completely lost in it, unaware of the way he was riling you up and already building up that familiar sensation in the pit of your tummy.
“t—toge—” your pussy clenched at the way he was fucking you with his fingers, keeping your thighs apart with his other arm as he was completely drowned in the gushy sticky sounds of your hole.
“you’re gonna make me cum and i—” you panted, cute whines slipping from your lips as he looked up at you. “—i wanna cum when you’re inside—”
his cock spasmed and a drop of cum drooped out at your yummy plea, his breathing trembling as he quickly nodded and squeezed your thigh endearingly, slowly slipping his fingers out and stuffing them into his mouth to suck your juices as he pumped his cock while lining it up with your hole.
toge sunk in his dick then, the both of you groaning at the way he filled you up so fucking nice and stretched you, your pussy literally grabbing his cock and sucking him inside easily as you gripped his shoulders tight.
“mmm!—” you whimpered, toge now slowly pumping his cock inside of you as he leaned over and propped himself up by his arms, hips tenderly and deliciously rolling in as he panted and softly whined in your ear.
you were so god damn tight, his throat literally closing at the lock you had around him as he fucked you slow and breathless, one of his hands coming down to grip your waist to try and keep himself grounded and from snapping his hips into yours brutally— him wanting to make love to you and not do that just yet.
toge ducked his head down and licked over a perky tit, your breath hitching and subconsciously spreading your legs wider as he closed his lips around your nipple— suckling and laying a flat tattooed tongue over it as you moaned.
“faster—” pant! “faster please baby—”
with a mouthful of your tit he snapped his hips up, you choking as he started going a lot quicker than you anticipated as your hand flew to your mouth to keep your moans in, your tits bouncing with every fuck.
“oh my god oh my god—”
toge suddenly pulled out and threw you over, tummy to the bed as he hauled your ass up and lined himself at your entrance again, wasting no time in pushing in and screwing you in the same pace he had before.
but this new position was an absolute delicacy as you drooled over his sheets at the way he rammed his cock, the recoil of your ass sending a shiver up his spine and roughly gripping your hips and ass in anyway he could, you screaming and whining into his pillow as a series of slaps to your ass cheeks from him echoed through his little studio.
toge was about to dump the biggest fucking load in you that it was embarrassing.
you reached a hand behind you and he quickly grabbed it, his thumb running over your skin soothingly as he pistoned roughly into your cunt, him groaning and whimpering over the squelching and leaking of your hole as he felt his dick harden— his cum on the brink of release.
“fuck fuck fuck—” you hiccuped into his pillow. “baby i’m gonna cum i’m gonna cum hah!—”
he gripped your hand harder and leaned down over you, rutting into your pussy as he heaved and pressed his lips up against your ear, choking out the word ‘cum’ so softly that it bypassed the confines of his situation, your eyes squeezing shut as the hardest fucking orgasm you had ever had in your life hit you like brick.
you felt toge’s hips snap up and still as his hot milky cum spilled through your walls with a grunt, gooey and slimy as it filled you up and left you squirming at the weight of it.
his breath fanned against your hair as he tried to calm it, his hand moving soothingly up and down your back as you weakly tried to gain back some consciousness, the both of you sweaty and spent with his softening dick sliding out slowly.
toge carefully nudged you back over and kissed you tenderly, his hands traveling from your back over to your tummy and smoothly caressing every part of you down to the sides of your thighs, eyes swelling in utter worship over you as he leaned back to look at you.
‘i love you baby.’ he signed, and you beamed.
and just as toge had finally decided to ask you to be his girlfriend then, to officially let go of the fears he had and let himself have you— there in your arms as you peppered sweet cute kisses all over his face and over his tattooed markings on the corners of his mouth, pulling him further in to rest and sleep?
toge had a horrendous day the following morning that threw it all away.
horrendous.
it started in the morning when he left your sleeping figure quietly with a kiss to your head for his shift at work that day, excited and in a never ending state of bliss from the night before as he drove to the shop.
except he had forgotten his whiteboard at home.
toge had realized when he was already fucking halfway into the drive, a full fledged twenty five minute one that he didn’t have time to go back and repeat as he pulled up to the parking lot— cursing himself for being such a dumbass and wondering how the fuck he was gonna answer specific questions from customers, especially since he was the only one really working today.
he figured he should be fine… right? usually the people that come in already know what to get and they just read it out to him.
but there’s always a few every single day without fail that ask questions toge needed his whiteboard for. and you didn’t have class that day— so the means of you coming down there were for nothing, at least not until the party later that night.
and he didn’t want to ask anything of you…
but he really needed it.
(toge :D): hi pretty mouseee i know you’re asleep i’m sorry but is there anyway you could come to the shop when you wake up and drop off my whiteboard please? i left it on the desk like a stupid fucking idiot EL OH EL
“inumaki.”
toge froze on his walk to open the shop and looked up from his phone, eyes blowing wide.
there his manager stood, who was also the owner of the coffee shop itself, a stern look on his face with crossed arms as they both stood in front of a shattered door and windows, shards of glass twinkling on the floor.
“did you lock up last night?”
toge nodded, eyebrows furrowed as he scanned the ground.
“everything?”
he went to nod again, but stopped.
he did… he did truly he did—
…oh.
he forgot to lock up and cash in the register.
toge quickly stepped over the glass and swung open the shattered door and over to the front counter, sure enough finding the register wide open and battered with not a single fucking penny left inside.
he groaned, his hands shooting up and digging the bases of his palms into his eyes as he leaned back, lips in a thin line at how utterly fucking stupid he was for forgetting to lock up the register and take in the money— the number one thing he was always supposed to do.
“what happened?” his manager asked, hands out. “have you been not locking it up?”
toge scrambled for his phone and pulled it from his back pocket, the thought of his job literally on the line because of this sending him for a fucking ride.
‘i always lock it up, honestly.’ he typed and showed his phone. ‘but i stupidly forgot last night and i can’t express enough to you how sorry i am.’
his manager sighed deeply and dropped his hands, looking over at the open register.
“you’ve consistently been one of my best.” he spoke. “but a mistake like this isn’t something small like forgetting to properly close and wipe down everything or put up the chairs.”
toge nodded understandingly, arms tightly crossed over his chest as he shamefully looked to the side, feeling like the biggest pathetic loser for doing something like this that could’ve been entirely avoided if he just did his damn job correctly.
“it’s alright.” his manager reached and patted a heavy hand to his shoulder. “it happens. it’s just unfortunate that we got broken into right when it did.”
toge looked at him.
“we can’t open today because there’s glass everywhere… so if you can stay and call up the insurance for the shop—” he pointed to the wall, their number amongst others typed and labeled. “—and file an insurance claim in any way you can for me that’d be great. i’m gonna go down to the police station and report.”
toge quickly nodded, typing again on his phone before showing him.
‘okay sounds good. i’m really really sorry and this won’t happen again.’
his manager waved him off with a smile. “don’t sweat, inumaki. i’m pretty sure i did this too when i was working except it was my works safe and not the register…”
softly chuckling, toge nodded once more and gave his manager a tiny wave as he patted his shoulder again before stepping around the glass, leaving.
regardless of being lucky enough to have such an understanding boss, toge still felt like complete and utter shit as he stood behind the counter slumped over after, on hold with the insurance company for thirty minutes now as he stared at the broken shards and the register.
you had gotten toge’s text the minute you woke up and quickly got up to get ready, not even bothering to change into anything different as you left with his pajamas on you and his little whiteboard, hopping into your car and speeding off knowing how much he needed it for work sometimes.
and when you pulled into the shops parking lot, confusedly already noticing scattered glass on the concrete walking up, you froze in front of the coffee shop upon seeing the windows and doors completely shattered— toge propping his forehead up with his palm on the counter solemnly.
“toge?”
he looked up.
“what happened?”
his shoulders dropped in relief and he slowly came around the counter, opening his arms a little and pulling you in as he buried his face into your hair, sighing.
you hugged him back. “are you okay? did this happen right now?”
he shook his head and stepped back, taking the whiteboard from you.
‘someone broke into the shop last night. but i forgot to lock up the register and cash in the money so they stole that too.’
“oh my god!” you gasped, hands flying over your mouth. “fuucckkkk was your manager mad? don’t tell me he fired you—”
toge erased and wrote before flipping the board over.
‘no just disappointed. but i still feel like such a fucking moron for forgetting and i hate that i did.’
“toge..” you sighed sadly, running your hands over his upper arms. “it’s okay you’re human baby. these things happen so don’t feel like that please..”
he nodded a little before ducking down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
you smiled and looked around.
“seeing the shop like this is nuts.”
he hummed in agreement.
toge stuck around for a little while, you next to him behind the counter still waiting on hold with the insurance company, feeling awfully bad for keeping you here when he knew you wanted to go shopping for a dress for the party, but him stupidly forgetting again that he couldn’t speak— too caught up in trying to make it up to his manager for his fuck up to think about how exactly he was going to talk to the insurance company on the other line, you demanding to help him.
sometime down the line when the insurance claim was filed, toge’s manager told him that if he wanted to open up the shop for the day he could, and to just sweep up the glass a little from the ground and fix up the place a little so it didn’t look like they just got robbed.
and because toge was still in his self dreaded state of guilt and shame over what happened, he immediately agreed to, trying to make up for his mistake and see if he could double the shop’s earnings for today.
“i could stay toge let me stay.” you pushed, but he only shook his head and sent you off to do the things he knew you needed to do with a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek, telling you he’d see you at his place to get ready for the party.
but maybe toge was better off telling his manager a bit fat no and going home with you, because it was like everybody that came into the shop following that had eaten a big bag of dicks and salvaged the biggest fucking attitudes out of it to spit back in his face.
no one was understanding him. no one. not a single soul. even when he used his whiteboard to explain everything that certain customers needed, for some reason the extra effort of them having to just read putting them off and yelling and making toge’s shift a living hell.
and it’s not like he’s never managed shifts on his own either— never having an issue and still putting in and preparing orders efficiently like he was supposed to, but he figured the debacle from this morning was setting him off since he couldn’t do anything right at the moment, the attitude he was getting from literally every single fucking customer leaving him wishing he at least had one more person on the floor with him.
but toge was still blaming himself.
why couldn’t anyone understand him? why couldn’t he just speak? his life would be so much easier if he could… and you would’ve been his a long time ago.
so as toge sat there tiredly after work with his eyes closed on a stool next to you in his bathroom, you applying the finishing touches to your hair and makeup— you could practically feel toge’s exhaustion, frustration, and sadness seeping into your skin and insides over the shift he told you he had, your eyebrows pinching anxiously.
“we don’t have to go baby…” you murmured, looking down and playing with the rings on your fingers. “i would much rather stay here with you so you can relax for a little…”
he slowly peeled his eyes open, the sight of you standing there in front of him— so fucking beautiful in your dress and heels and dolled up in the way that you were, made his cheeks buzz pink as he slumped forward and mushed his cheek up against your tummy, wrapping his arms around you and shaking his head.
“are you sure?” you asked gently, running your fingers over his soft hair. “i don’t mind what we do toge… as long as with you i’m okay.”
his heart jumped as he looked up and gave you a cute smile, nodding.
you’d decided to meet in the middle and just go home early so toge could have enough rest for his shift tomorrow, him driving you both to the sorority house and parking a bit down the street amongst dozens of other cars, a little nervous and apprehensive and wondering what he was gonna do if any of your friends came up to talk to him— but the desire to make you happy and accompany you to something that you were so excited for far, far greater.
the night went smoothly for the most part, you in no time at all spotting your friend that initially invited you through the crowd along with some of your other friends that you had no idea were coming in the first place, introducing toge to each one and him giving a small smile and wave in response as he interlaced your fingers and gladly let you lead him to wherever you wanted through the dark and blue lit house, taking sips occasionally of the tequila orange liquor mix from his red solo cup and funnily from yours too— since you had gotten a different punch like flavor that he liked better.
“y/n? i didn’t know you were coming!”
your head snapped to the voice just as you were talking to toge, your eyes widening and a huge smile spreading across your face.
“oh hey! i didn’t know you were either!” you quickly turned to toge. “he’s in my sign language class the one i told you about that teaches us how to cuss—”
your friend laughed, “you talk about me y/n? interestinggg.”
toge quirked a brow.
“not like that—” you slapped his shoulder. “i talk about you so i can build up the stamina to rat you out.”
he gasped dramatically. “says the one who bothered me last class to teach her how to sign the word cunt.”
“no i didn’t— wait actually i did.”
your friend laughed again but diverted his attention momentarily to someone pulling on his arm a bit.
toge nudged you gently and you turned.
‘i’m gonna go get a drink mouse.’ he signed.
“okay!” you nodded. “i’ll wait for you here.”
he nodded, kissing your head before leaving— the kitchen not too far from where you both were originally at as he walked and threw away the drink he had initially and scanned the counter, looking for the fruity punch one you got before spotting it and picking one up from the rows of others, the smell of alcohol filling his nostrils.
“hey sorry to bother, which flavor is that?”
toge froze and looked over, a girl standing there and pointing at his cup.
oh shit.
toge pointed to his cup.
“yeah, which flavor is that one? i’ve tried the others but not that one yet.”
oh fuck.
why couldn’t he just talk?
the girl quirked a brow at his silence, and just when she was about to say something else, someone came through the kitchen.
“i think that one’s tutti frutti but i could be wrong.”
she turned to the other person and nodded, giving toge an awkward look before walking around him to get a cup for herself.
toge covered his eyes with a hand in complete fucking mortifying embarrassment, cheeks warm as he leaned against the kitchen sink in the lowest low he had ever lowed.
or so he thought.
because the sound of your loud pretty laughter had him slowly looking up and taking his hand away, you conversing so— so openly and freely with your friend from sign language triggering a hint of jealousy and bitterness in his chest. bitter as to why he was cursed to deal with something like this, bitter over the loser that was blatantly obviously flirting with you… but jealous of him that he was able to open his mouth and speak to you in whatever words and phrases he wanted, syllables flying out without any sort of pain or blood as a paying price like he had to.
that’s what you needed… that’s what you should have. not him.
not his inevitable silence and whiteboards and constant pauses, his lack of being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him whenever, wherever… without being tied down to a marker or a phone.
his mixup from this morning, his customers not understanding him, everybody else not understanding him, has led him to believe that someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t carry the burden of even trying to.
toge knew from the very first time you came into the coffee shop that you were going to unknowingly break his heart if he let you in because of his situation… and fuck did he let you in.
and now he had to break yours so you could find and be with what you deserved.
toge walked over to you then, head down with his jaw tight and mind fogged over as you doubled over in laughter over something your friend said.
“wait—” you gasped. “wait toge he just told me that—”
“is he your boyfriend?” you friend asked, pointing to him.
well, toge still hadn’t really asked you… but he gave you a promise ring, and you were both wearing them tonight so—
your eyes snapped to toge, who was shaking his head no.
…no?
your brows furrowed.
“oh! i thought you guys were together, my bad.”
toge twitched over the way your friend sounded relieved, but you didn’t notice a thing, still looking at him with the most gutting look that made him want to scream.
“yeah.. my bad too.” you mumbled, your friend not catching it as he then got pulled by the shoulder to a different crowd, him calling over that he would come find you later on in the night.
“no?” you repeated to him.
‘come with me outside.’ he signed before slowly walking and leading you back to the kitchen and through the backyard doors, the chilling cold night air a refreshing break from the stuffiness inside.
“if this is a joke it’s not that funny toge.” you mumbled, hugging yourself as you closed the door behind you.
he looked at you sadly.
‘you shouldn’t be with me mouse.’ he signed.
“what?” you breathed out. “what are you talking about?”
‘i can’t give you what you need.’
“what i need?”
he nodded. ‘it won’t work. you and me.’
“toge—” your chest picked up speed, tears prickling a bit at your eyes. “you’re telling me all of this yet no answers— why won’t we work.”
‘you should be with someone that can talk to you and tell you that they love you and say anything without all of this baggage—’
“wait wait slow down i can’t—” you put your hands out. “you’re signing too fast i can’t understand you—”
you couldn’t understand him.
and toge realized that the reasoning he had would be something that you would counter and fight for, and something he would more than one hundred percent give in to you winning just so he could have you again.
he needed to make you hate him so it would be easier for you to move on.
toge dropped his arms, a defeated look on his face as he shoved a hand in his pocket for his phone, typing out a message to you.
you received it on the other end, your phone illuminating your face as you opened it.
(toge :D): i realized after we confessed that this isn’t what i want anymore and im sorry
your jaw dropped, eyes narrowing as you looked up at him.
“what the fuck do you mean.”
his thumbs shook as he typed, his heart pulling and screaming at the muscles and nerves tied to them for him to stop.
(toge :D): we’re better off as just friends. i’m really sorry that i realized after the fact. you deserve someone better anyways and i just don’t think it’s with me.
you let out a sob that ripped him to shreds, hand coming over your mouth in disbelief as you stared at the blurry screen in your grasp.
he realized this after the fact? after messing around with you for almost three years? after confessing to you and saying he loves you? after being intimate?
you felt fucking used.
“you’re realizing this now?” you shook your head. “toge— you realize we’ve been flirting like this for as long as we’ve known each other and all of a sudden you’re pulling back? after you got your fucking fill? after kissing me and telling me that you love me, and— and after—”
you ran an exasperated trembling hand through your hair. “toge we had sex and you’re telling me this isn’t what you want?”
god this is everything he wants.
but toge bit his tongue, him strained all over with a locked painful jaw as you yelled at him, his eyes glossy over how much he was hurting you as he stiffly nodded.
you stepped closer, jabbing a finger to his chest. “look at me in the eyes right now and tell me if our entire fucking friendship before leading up to our bullshit confessions was all a lie. tell me right now if this—” you held your hand up, the promise ring he gave you shimmering under the fairy lights of the backyard. “—was a lie when you promised me that you would always help me and love me.”
toge breathed in and out shakily, swallowing thickly as he slowly nodded, his entire body in absolute detriment.
holy fucking shit.
how long had you been this stupid for you to not realize the kind of person he actually was?
but— but it didn’t make any sense. this wasn’t toge. this wasn’t toge at all you didn’t know who the fuck you were yelling at right now because toge would never do this to you.
“do you know why i’m learning sign language in the first place?”
toge blinked back tears, shaking his head no.
“i started taking sign language for you, asshole!” you sobbed. “when i was stupidly crushing on you at the shop before we talked for the first time, i noticed you knew sign language and i signed up for you so it’d be easier for you to communicate with me without always having to use your whiteboard.”
he felt a pang to his heart, harshly wiping his eyes.
“but even then i don’t fucking care toge! you could have absolutely nothing to talk to me with and i’d still love you and do anything for you because that’s how much i’m in love you!”
you sobbed as your shoulders shook violently, hands covering your eyes.
“glad to know the feelings not mutual.”
oh he takes it back.
he takes it all back.
toge reached for your hands and you pushed him away.
“you’re so full of shit toge.” you sniffled. “if this is what you want then fine. take this fucking—”
you slipped the ring off from your finger and threw it at him, the feeling of it thudding against his chest and clinking to the ground beneath his feet close enough to a damn bullet.
he shook his head frantically, picking up your ring and following you up the steps of the porch, grabbing your hand and pulling you back, but you only shaking it off and trudging on forward.
“mouse—” he spoke. “please stop—”
the sound of his rare voice made you freeze in place, unmoving and feeling guilt pool in your stomach at the sound of him reeling over and coughing violently as a result.
he spoke to you… but his dreaded words from earlier still lingered in your mind, betrayal etched into your chest like a tattoo.
“don’t call me that.” you mumbled over your shoulder, swinging the door open to the kitchen and slamming it shut.
toge heard nothing from you for four weeks.
even through all of the calls and texts he sent you, he started to conclude that you actually blocked his number the moment you left him that night, unable to see his actual explanation through the masses of messages he sent you and still continued to even after confirming the thought that you had blocked him.
he couldn’t believe himself. he couldn’t believe he actually hurt you and drove you away like that.
and toge had never felt so much self hatred, missing you like fucking crazy throughout those weeks— it reminding him of that one time when you first started getting to know each other where you disappeared for a week, except far far worse now that you had both built so much together over the years.
his life felt empty now that you weren’t in it.
and funnily enough, his job— something he had gotten before you, now solely reminding him of you as he tried to work without throwing something over the random flashbacks he’d have of that night, blending and serving drinks and sliding them over the pickup counter all meaningless if you weren’t there at your usual table to give him a cheeky smile and sign the word ‘cheese’ to make him laugh on the other side.
his little mouse.
and toge silently cried almost every night at his desk, him clutching your ring.
you were basically the same way as him, if not fucking lower as you were the one that was practically presumably dumped and used, you unable to sleep for hours on end in your bed and your parents wondering what the hell happened between the two of you as they tried to console your tears through your restless nights, you half in denial that this was your reality and toge was out of your life.
after some time, you realized that you had left nearly half of your things in toge’s apartment, it settling into your mind how much time you actually spent with him and not at your own house as you constantly found yourself needing things but couldn’t have them because they were over there— one of those things unfortunately being your freaking sign language textbook.
there was absolutely no way you could get it, and you opted to borrowing your friends for the longest time… but by the time you reached the beginning of the fifth week without toge, you started feeling really bad for continuously bothering your friend for her book when you could just suck it up and get yours.
so you made your jumbled mind up and reached for your phone one day after your morning class, going to toge’s contact number and unblocking him before texting.
(you): hi. sorry to bother but i left some things in your apartment that i need. i was wondering if i could come by today to get them.
toge nearly jumped out of his skin at your pretty name flashing across his phone while he was lazily and depressingly laying in bed, scrambling to type back not even a minute later.
(toge): yes of course
(toge): i’m home right now if you want to come
(toge): and you’re never a bother
you pursed your lips, a lump building in your throat.
(you): okay. i’ll be there in a few minutes.
toge flung his scattered clothing inside his closet or literally anywhere that was out of eyesight, trying to turn his rut of a room back to how it looked like when you were always here, shaking out a big garbage bag and throwing all of his trash in there (along with all of the cake pop, cheese danish, and blueberry scone wrappers…), opening the blinds and straightening out his sheets.
you pulled into his apartment complex parking lot and parked not too long after, your hands drenched in sweat and your body rigid as you came up to his floor and over to his apartment number, knocking even though you had the key.
you almost turned back to leave once you heard his padded footsteps, but decided against is as he was already opening the door.
and my god, seeing him hurt a lot more than you thought it would.
his eyes were soft as they looked at you, and red like yours, him quickly stepping to the side to let you in and you doing so with your head down, not saying a single word.
“i think—” you shakily spoke, eyes already watering as he closed his door with a click. “i think i’m just gonna get my sign language textbook for now i’ll come back some other time for the rest—”
you felt a little tug at your hand, and you turned, his shoulders slumping at your teary eyes, stray droplets slipping down your cheeks already.
‘please don’t cry.’ he signed. ‘i’m so sorry for everything.’
you snorted, shaking your head as you reached behind you to get your textbook.
“sorry for stringing me along and using every part of me until you were bored? sure.”
he frantically shook his head no, panic rising in his chest as he watched you step around him and head for the door.
he couldn’t let you leave.
because he had a feeling if he did, he actually would never see you again.
toge quickly grabbed your wrist and tugged you back around.
“what toge—”
‘stay for a bit.’ he shakily signed. ‘please just stay and let me explain.’
you followed his signage, and your eyes narrowed. “explain what? there’s nothing to explain—”
toge swiped his phone from his bed and opened it, going to your contact to type out a message.
you hesitantly pulled yours out and waited, your phone vibrating against your hand once he sent it over.
(toge): i lied about absolutely everything i said that night. i don’t think any of those things at all. i’ve wanted you so fucking bad from the start y/n, i’ve been ready to be with you i don’t think for a second we’re better off as friends i want more with you always and for the rest of my life.
what?
he sent another message.
(toge): i said what i said because throughout our friendship i told myself like a fucking idiot that i couldn’t let you all the way in because i can’t talk. i kept thinking that you needed someone who you can talk to you whenever you want without having to always step back and read or write like you have to with me. i didn’t want you to carry that baggage and deal with me and i just felt like a burden, and i love you so fucking much that i wanted better for you.
you sniffled and wiped your cheeks, you rubbing away lonesome tears that landed on your phone screen.
(toge): but i’m selfish baby i’ve BEEN selfish. i said those horrible things to you so it’d be easier for you to move on and im so sorry. none of them are true. i don’t want you to move on from me. i didn’t use you i could never and that night we had sex was the most meaningful experience of my life. i love you more than anything in my life, and im gonna be selfish again and please ask you to come back to me. you’re my best friend and more, and i still believe that you need someone better and that can give you more than i can, but i just can’t let you go man i’ve been physically sick for four weeks without you.
you cried still and he typed again.
(toge): i’m selfish and i’m in love with you mouse. i’m sorry.
“toge!” you cried and chucked your phone to his bed, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling him in a tight embrace— the weight completely lifting off both of your shoulders at the feeling of your bodies pressed against each others like a perfect little key in a lock, toge hugging you back so so fucking tight with his face in your neck that he practically squeezed the air out of your lungs entirely.
“i love you.” he spoke, his words incredibly powerful in your ear even though it couldn’t have been more than a mere whisper, the sound and depth of his voice ringing through your head and one you wanted to remember forever and ever, feeling so incredibly loved over the fact that he’d use his voice for you even when it hurt him so much.
but he really didn’t need to. you just wanted him.
and you’ve never been so happy to hear someone tell you that they lied.
toge pulled back a bit and turned his head to the side, stuffing his mouth into the crook of his elbow and coughing.
you pressed your cheek against his once he was done, kissing it a few times beforehand and him closing his eyes at the feeling of your lips on his skin after so long.
“you okay?” you murmured softly, and he nodded.
“i love you too, toge.” you tightened your arms around his neck. “please don’t ever think that you’re a burden or giving me baggage to carry. i’ve never ever felt that way and neither should you.”
you stepped back and cupped his cheeks.
“i need you, baby. i don’t need anything or anyone else but you. someone that has the ability to talk can’t give me even ten percent of what you’ve been giving me. i’m happy with you. the happiest i’ve ever been is when i’m with you… okay?”
toge grinned, huge and shiny as he nodded and leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss— the both of you utterly deprived as your mouths smacked and moved in haste, his hands running and squeezing over your body with labored breathing between the two of you.
he pulled apart for a second and you stopped.
“what baby?” you breathed, watching as he raised his arms.
‘please be my girlfriend mouse.’ he signed. ‘or i’ll die.’
you giggled cutely and a blush rose on both of your sore cheeks from smiling so much, you happily nodding and roughly pulling him back in to continue.
and how lucky was toge to have such a sweet little mouse that cared for him this much? for someone who couldn’t even speak? who had the greatest level of patience and not once ever complained about the burden she had to carry?
you learned sign language for him. solely for him. the reasons he was thinking about how he’d be baggage to you, was amazingly the total opposite on your end, as you didn’t want to be baggage to him when it came down to communication with you— as if something like that were ever even possible.
and you learned sign language for him— a totally beautiful and different and complex language that was iterated through the feeling of arms and body, to be read across with purposeful moving hands and symbols and diligent fingers— somehow looking even more beautiful when it was you that was doing it.
silence was toge’s greatest form of love… one that you received with open arms and acceptance without a twinge of judgement in your heart, and one that toge only ever wanted you to receive.
you.
his little mouse.
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i love my husband 😫
It's your brother who suggests that you and his best friend Ino live together. On-campus housing is so expensive, and he figures that while he attends college out of town, Ino could be the one to step in as your "big brother", watching over and protecting you, like he always has over the years.
Unfortunately for your brother, he has no clue what a bad idea this actually is.
"Fuck. Fuck," Ino moans, bouncing you on his lap. You're in his room, riding him on his little twin-sized bed, blankets and pillows thrown messily on the floor. He's working his thumb on you, massaging deep circles into your clit while he pounds up into your pussy, already full of cum from his first orgasm. "Baby...oh fuck, baby." His voice is shaky, so sensitive but so fucking horny still. "Gonna make me come again."
You kiss him sloppily, licking into his mouth. "Go ahead, Taku. Fill me up. Make it really creamy."
He shuts his eyes, his grip tightening on your hips, shooting his load inside you. "Fuck!" he cries out, shuddering as you ride out your own climax on top of him, rocking yourself back and forth on his cock. "Too much," he stutters, kissing you softly on the lips, caressing your cheek. "You're too much, baby."
You giggle, nuzzling your nose to him. "You love it."
The sudden pounding on the front door of your apartment startles the both of you back to your senses. "Guess who!" You instantly recognize the familiar voice of your brother cheerfully calling out to you on the other side, sending you and Ino into a panic, frantically slipping back into the clothes that you hastily stripped off each other just moments ago.
Miraculously, you manage to get past your brother's surprise visit unscathed. The three of you watch a movie together on the couch, Ino's fingers interlaced with yours beneath the shared blanket, your legs crossed tightly to keep his creampie inside you. And your poor brother doesn't suspect a thing.
Reader x okkotsu, a date where they wear a short skirt or dress that makes Yuuta worry (wish) that his underwear will be seen, to his relief (disappointment), his girlfriend was wearing shorts so nothing could be seen. But it's too late because he's already horny and needs to know what they're wearing under those shorts.
yes yes YES
pairing: reader (f) x bf!Yuta (aged up)
warning: eating out, sex in a changing room
a/n: my first yuta prompt, im so excited! i hope this makes yall proud
It was plaguing Yuta's mind as his eyes narrowed at the closed bathroom door.
Behind that door housed the sounds of you getting ready. He could hear you sing along to the music you were playing, supplemented by the noises of your makeup being picked up and put down. His hands were pressed flat against one another and wedged between anxious (and eager) thighs.
He eagerly listened to the pit pats of your feet as you pulled up your skirt. Yuta was taking you out on a date, and knew you had plans to wear something short as it was quite hot in Japan. Although wearing those kinds of outfits made him nervous, he'd never stop you from wearing what you wanted.
To him, you were the most attractive woman in the world. Considering all the curses he's forced to meet, you were the sun that cleared his clouds. But your beauty made him nervous, as every thought he has of you being out on your own would make his mind wander terribly.
"I'm ready!"
His head lifted, eyes perked up and wide as the smell of your perfume came front and center at his sense. You were dressed comfortably in a flattering crop top, with short denim shorts and white trainers. You did your makeup and hair to your usual preference and a wide smile decorated your lips.
You gifted him a cheeky wink, "lets go!"
You could feel Yuta's aura. It was... peculiar. Although he gave you smiles whenever you looked at him, his eyes were distant, and so was his head. His hand was tighter than usual around yours, but he wasn't quite as guarded.
Unknown to you, Yuta's feelings were going through war. His anxiety ran rampant up from the thought of everyone seeing just a sliver of your ass. One thing about Yuta: he couldn't stand when men looked at what is his. He'd glare at any man who even glanced at you by happenstance. However...
As he walked behind you, the idea to see your ass outside was exhilarating. It already looked delectable in your skirt, but the idea of you just bending over to see your clothed treasures was enough to send him into heat. A bulge made home in the tent of his pants, and Yuta remained crimson in the face.
But the very moment you bent over slightly from dropping a gum wrapper, Yuta bit his tongue. The hem of a black pair of shorts made its presence known, and practically mocked the aroused sorcerer. Although his heart was relieved, the bulge in his pants twitched in slight annoyance.
He anticipated to see these lacy panties, or a thong that disappears between the crevice of your cheeks. Despite his previous nerves, he hungered for the teasing power of your itty bitty skirt. He was beside himself, feeling embarrassed that he was having such thoughts as you two were being seated at the restaurant.
"You're so red, babe," your words were soaked with worry. You quickly take the pitcher and pour him a cup of cold water. Sliding the glass over, you huff at him, "please drink some water."
Later on, the two of you found yourself in a small shopping area. Yuta would never say no to you, and you lead the way to browse in all the shops. Between boutiques, Yuta tried to make the most of the fresh air. His boner would not relent, and he didn't know how to calm it down. So long as you were present, his libido would not tame.
"Let's go in here-- I heard they have new skirts in stock!"
Your boyfriend followed you promptly, always remaining by your side or near you as your excitedly picked out a few pieces. Looking over at your tall boyfriend, you transfer the stack into his arms and force him to follow you towards the changing room.
"Don't feel rushed, peach," Yuta hums as he places the clothing on the bench in your selected changing room. This boutique was very laxed as there wasn't a worker or guard assigned at the changing rooms. So Yuta being able to join you in the changing room is always fun. "Try on everything you'd like."
"You're too sweet on me," you say happily, cupping his cheeks with your hands to press a kiss on his lips. You pick up a few of the skirts you picked out to fix them onto the hooks on the wall.
As you did, Yuta helped himself to the free side of the bench, stretching his long legs after the good deal of walking you two have done. But the moment his azure eyes were met with your ass, he knew he was done for. He watches your delicate hands make its way to the hem of your skirt. Lifting it up for more access, you wedge your thumbs between your hips and the shorts that Yuta had long villainized.
Yuta desperately covers his mouth, trying his best not to let out a moan. But your mindless actions were worsening the state of his cock. He dared not make a sound and stop you from discarding those damned shorts. They finally slid down and dropped to your ankles, revealing your black, lacy thong. Once you put your fingers between your ass and your thong to pull it out a bit, Yuta couldn't contain himself.
"y/n," he begins quietly, "can I ask a favor?"
"Anything," you reply sweetly.
You felt large hands attach themselves to your ass, with his thumb dragging your thong out of your ass, and to the side. His sudden, amorous actions shot pangs of heat to your flower, knowing what was gonna happen next. With how small the changing room was, you were able to lean comfortably against the wall before you.
A cold tongue introduces itself to your warm flaps, lapping at the small pool of juice he caused. You press your forehead, too, against the wall, trying to keep still from the excitement. You two rarely did risqué things like this, as Yuta was always sharp and too socially conscious. But you guess he finally cracked.
"a-ah... babe..." raspy moans slip out. But you couldn't help yourself. The way the tip of his tongue circled around your clit. The way you felt his lips purse to suck your cunt. His hot breaths were tantalizing, wanting more of him. "please...!" Your breath hitches.
"please try and keep quiet, my love," Yuta warns in a whisper. His fingers dent into your cheeks and hips, his lips leaving sloppy kisses on your ass and around your flower. "i know this isn't the place or time but... you and these damn shorts.."
"eh...?" You whisper, slightly looking back before you arch your back when Yuta dragged his tongue against your bud. Your warm honey slowly seeped out as Yuta drank every drop as if it was expensive wine. The wet sounds of him eating you out kept bringing you closer and closer to your climax. "lovey, m'so close... please..."
"mm, you taste so good, pretty girl," he groans against your folds. "stay still for me." He lets you go, allowing you to look over at the mirror to get a good look at your boyfriend. Yuta, ever the silly man, scrambles to loosen his belt buckle and zip down his pants. His stiff cock flings itself out, earning a grunt from a very horny Yuta.
Finding his place back on your ass, he pulls your thong to the side. In moments, he guides you down to sit right on his cock. The both of you let out a throaty sigh of relief, your back pressing comfortably against his solid torso. The hard shaft filled you up lovingly, feeling your warm walls hug him desperately. His shaky sighs tickled your neck, but you cupped your hands to ensure that not a sound left your saliva-coated lips.
"are you ready?" Yuta whispers in your ear. You nod, watching as his hands hold you from underneath your thighs. With a firm grip, Yuta begins to lift you up and drop you down on his cock. It took him quite a lot of strength, but fucking you was a necessity for him at this time. Your eyes looked over at the mirror, watching Yuta's side profile as he focused on fucking you.
His mouth was open, lips agape and in awe at the feeling of your cunt taking his cock. Veins protrude from his neck, with beads of sweat beginning to form. His usually neat hair was now messy, as the movement made his body jump lightly. But you noticed his dark azure eyes remain glued to your ass, the hunger evident in his irises.
Realizing this, you wanted to spoil him and give him a treat. That desire was also coated with selfishness, as you wanted to see his face when you bounced on his cock. "b-baby, let me..." you struggled to let out, your hands finding their way to his forearms. Yuta stops, leaning forward to meet your gaze.
"peach?" His innocent tone in your nickname shot an arrow through your heart.
He (painfully) lets you go as you adjust yourself a bit on his lap. You lean more into the wall, your palms pressed firmly against it. Without another minute wasted, you begin to grind down on your boyfriends cock.
Yuta was in ecstasy. "-sh-shit... fuck...!" His nails dug into the bench, his head thrown back in pleasure. You kept your eyes glued to the mirror, eating up the sight of your horny boyfriend in pure bliss. His own eyes try to stay on your ass. The way it bounced on his member, the jiggles and waves on the roundness of your bum. "you're so sexy, so --perfect..."
You speed up, forcing Yuta to grab and bite down on the collar of his usual white shirt. His teeth gritted down on the fabric that separated them, attempting (and failing) to keep himself from finishing. His cock slid in and out of you, his tip softly dragging along your entrance. It twitched and curved reverently between your walls, teasing your g-spot with every bounce.
"shit, shit-- y/n!" His delayed hands grab your ass, squeezing down tightly as his warm load fills you. You sit down on his cock, your back meeting his torso once again as you finish moments after him. The two of you attempt to repress your heavy, relieved breaths as Yuta's hands lovingly rub along your thighs.
"baby..." you struggle between breaths, "what got into ya? You'd never... take me in a place like this."
Yuta's face was flushed, and he stubbornly looks away from the mirror. "I will buy you everything you want from this store if you promise to stop wearing those stupid shorts under your skirt. At least, when we are out together."
Without further questioning, you immediately nodded, "your wish is my command, Yuta."
hi!! I’m very aware that this was requested on the 13th of August, and literally over a month later I’ve finally managed to write it up. I feel unbelievably guilty for not getting it done sooner and I’m sorry it even took this long. I really really hope you enjoy it and I’m ever grateful for the patience 🤍🤍
title: there’s always another mystery
pairing: jameson hawthorne x reader
synopsis: avery kylie grambs is spending a little too much time with your boyfriend than you’d like… but when jameson starts lying about it questions are raised and tension rises until it all bubbles over
warnings: mild swearing, violence, assault
a/n: the synopsis sounds really cringy so forgive me, this fic is kind of long and very dialogue heavy and ermmm… I hope you enjoy the ending ;)
tag list: @bewitchingkisses @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31
You sit on the bed waiting for Jameson to arrive. You wonder how long he’ll take this time. You’d just seen him and Avery ascending the set of stairs that lead to his dead uncle’s wing. Him and Avery. The pretty new comer with those big hazel eyes and long soft hair, pocketing a billionaire’s fortune overnight. She had it all: the looks, the brains, the humour. She was perfection and that bugged you greatly. She was a mystery.
Literally. When Tobias had finally decided to fall asleep forever, she was the result, the heiress, the consequence. She was big masterful puzzle had popped out of nowhere, from nothing. Not that you hadn’t had you fair share of experience with that. You’d earned yourself a scholarship to one of the most prestigious private schools in Texas and raised from the ashes into a burning flame. Then you’d met Jameson Hawthorne.
He had always been an interesting character, you had just never expected his interest in you. You were the scholarship kid nobody knew or cared enough to know and somehow he was intrigued. He had found you studying the the library one day and the two of you just clicked, it was like you’d known each other for years. He’d walked you home that night and had done so ever since. From that day on you were the closest of friends. It wasn’t long before you met his brothers, mostly absent mother and extremely judgemental grandfather. Hawthorne house became a second home. The two of you sat for hours, mostly on the rooftop, staring up at an endless sky of stars and talking about anything and everything. You actually don’t think there’s a topic you haven’t covered. Everything seemed to be going swimmingly… then he started dating Emily.
From the beginning, you didn’t like her at all, but you bit your tongue from pouring out your true feelings to Jameson when he’d asked for an opinion on her. You didn’t want to make his relationship feel awkward. She was everything you didn’t want him to be with. And she wasn’t you. It shattered you, but you saw how his face lit up when he mentioned her name and you vowed you wouldn’t ruin that for him. To see him that happy was worth it.
You should’ve trusted your gut. Everyday since she broke his heart, you beat yourself up for not saying anything. There were so many chances and you took none of them. She used him, abused him and left him to rot, you supposed she didn’t account for that fact that you’d be there to save him. And then she died. It was one destructive milestone after another. Explosion after explosion. But you helped Jameson through the hardest time of his life, you fixed him when he was too broken to mend.
It wasn’t until then that you realised you loved him. I mean you’d always known you’d loved him, but never in a romantic way, it had always felt so plutonic. But judging by the pure fury that built up inside of you when Emily was mentioned, the passionate way you protected and defended him in situations and the fact that you wanted nothing more than to kiss him until he couldn’t speak, you were pretty sure you were in love. But you never acted on the feeling, too afraid you’d ruin the closeness you had. It wasn’t until one night when you’d been stargazing together that he took your face in his gentle palms and kissed your tender lips. The whole act took you by surprise suddenly, but it didn’t stop you from kissing back. It felt so natural, so normal, like it was supposed to be this way. He was sweeter than you’d imagined but in the best way possible.
“I’ve always loved you,” he’d whispered as you’d pulled away, “always.”
“I’ve always loved you too,” you’d smiled shyly, cheeks flushed with colour, “and to be honest I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”
You can’t remember when it was established that he was your boyfriend but from that kiss onwards, that’s what he was to you. He was still your best friend but in a different way. There was more chemistry and kissing, but the banter remained the same. The two of you were actually planning to go on a backpacking trip around Europe but then Tobias had died and it was another round of pain and healing for Jameson, who turned to alcohol for respite. But then the will happened and Avery Kylie Grambs had appeared out of nowhere and the old man’s final game had unfurled. So the mystery girl had been an adjustment for you to say the least.
Avery wasn’t bad. In fact you liked her a lot, you could see yourself forming a friendship with her, a tight bond but the problem was the sheer amount of time she was spending with your boyfriend. After discovering she was the key to solving his grandfather’s final mystery Jameson became obsessed. He craved the answers, thirsted for knowledge. You didn’t mind at first, you let him play his game, you only ever objected the dangerous parts when he risked himself getting hurt. Other than that you said nothing. Then he let on that this all had something to do with Emily. Emily had destroyed him, from inside out. A broken, bitter shell was formed over the real Jameson. You had worked so hard to get him to see that he wasn’t broken or damaged and you feared this might undo it.
But you knew how important Emily had been, how much of his life she’d ruined, you knew Jameson needed the closure and Avery would help him to get there, but after that you expected their interaction to die down. But they didn’t. Not in the slightest. You weren’t jealous at first, you trusted Jameson and didn’t see Avery as a threat, but after a while the meetings felt too frequent and too elongated. It was a little suspicious. When you’d asked Jameson he insisted it was all part of the game.
But then that game finished and it opened up another. Of course there always had to be more to a mystery. They were Hawthorne’s. But you’d had enough, you were tired of the endless myserties. Was it so selfish to want things to go back to how they were before? When the old man’s games were not as dangerous, a little less time consuming and uninvloving of recent billionaire girls.
You’re reeled in from your deep train of thought as Jameson walks in. You look up from your desk, placing your pen down. You flash him a sweet smile in which he returns.
“So where have you been?” you ask, a hint of a forged giggle in the back of your throat.
“Nowhere,” he shrugs, the blatant lie so easily escaping his lips cuts right through your heart.
“Nowhere with brick dust on your blazer and shoes?” you raise an challenging eyebrow, arms folded across your chest.
“I climbed a wall,” he says. Lie number two, you make a mental note.
“I saw you with Avery and Xander in Toby’s wing,” you say bluntly, your face expressionless so he can’t read it.
“Are you spying on me?” he replies, gaping.
You give a delicate shrug in response and don’t answer the question directly, “what were you whispering about?”
“What do you mean?” he furrows his brow, confused.
He’s playing dumb. Fine. He can play dumb. But he won’t able to for much longer.
“I mean what were you and Avery just whispering about,” you ask directly, your tone flat as the tyre you’d burst on his car earlier that morning.
He hesitates. He doesn’t want to tell you, that’s obvious.
“Oh, was it personal?” you ask, raising an eyebrow, opting a cold, curt, feigned sort of concern to your tone.
“Oh no,” he mumbles, “well kind of…Tobias Hawthorne is alive.”
You try not to the let your jaw drop, “your grandfather?”
How had that slimy bastard managed to fake his own death and-
He shakes his head, “my uncle.”
Of course, why hadn’t you seen it sooner? Him and Avery going into his wing, the sneaking around. But then how is the question, Toby had died before Jameson had even been born.
“And so the plot thickens,” you muse, pursing your lips.
“As always,” he says, flashing you a lopsided grin that was so like him, it reminded you of the old Jameson. The one that you got closer and closer to forgetting the less you saw of him.
“Who else knows?” you ask.
“The family,” he shrugs in response.
“And Avery?” you prompt.
“She knows,” he nods, not meeting your eyes.
You raise an eyebrow, “you didn’t mention her name?”
“She was implied when I said family,” he replies.
“She was and I wasn’t,” you ask, the words not being filtered through your brain before you blurt them out. You don’t know why it hurt you so much, it just did.
“It’s not like that,” he shakes his head.
“Okay,” you reply flatly
He shoots you a knowing look and sighs, “y/n.”
“What? I said okay,” you exclaim, throwing your hands up into the air, “that means it’s okay, I’m okay, we’re all okay.”
“You don’t sound okay,” he says gently.
“Well I’m fine,” you snap.
“I didn’t mean it like that, of course you’re part of this family,” Jameson replies, trying to make up for it.
“Forget it, I don’t care,” you retort.
“Common y/n,” he groans.
“No it’s fine, I don’t care,” you shrug, very obviously caring as your voice is high pitched and you’re being far too defensive, “do what you want.”
“She just worked it out,” he explains, “she found out that-“
“I said I don’t care,” you say sharply, eyes pinned to his.
“I know you do,” he murmurs, taking a step closer.
“No I don’t,” you shake your head in denial, “end of story, what’s for dinner?”
“I know I’ve been with her a lot recently,” he sighs.
“A lot is an understatement,” you blurt out, unable to stop the thoughts that circle your mind from finally surfacing.
“It was all part of the game, you understand,” he says as a statement, not a question.
“Of course I understand,” you reply, your voice a little colder than you’d intended but it’s too late to take it back.
For a split second hurt flashed across Jameson’s features but he swiftly continues, “it was the old man’s game.”
“It always is with you,” you say curtly, with an eye roll.
“You knew what you were getting into when you became my girlfriend,” he says, growing irritated, “I warned you-“
“Getting into?” you scoff.
“The old man always has a game,” he presses on, regaining his cool.
“And you always play it,” you snap, the fury inside of your raging a little too violently to be tamed.
“I have to play,” he says, his voice strained.
“No. You don’t. You think you have to play and your grandfather knew that,” you reply, “he knew you had a thirst to play and wouldn’t resist. Prove him wrong Jamie, make him stir for the flipping grave.”
“And what if I don’t want to do that,” he asks, raising his voice slightly.
“Then you’re not the Jameson I know,” you murmur in a low, dark voice.
“Maybe I’m not anymore,” he shrugs, “people change.”
“No,” you shake your head, “people have changed you, one person in particular.”
“Avery is just a friend,” he rolls his eyes, “I don’t understand why you’re getting so hotheaded about it!”
“You’re dimming yourself down for her,” you yell.
“So what?” Jameson challenges, making the volume of your voice.
“That’s not you,” you tell him.
“Maybe it is now,” he cocks his head to the side.
“You know you’re just talking shit,” you spit.
“I like her company,” he shrugs, “and I don’t want to prove the old man wrong, I want to make him proud.”
He’s trying to get under your skin and you know it. He’s doing a good job.
“You can’t live your life trying to prove something to him, he won’t be proud, he’s dead Jameson,” you snap.
“I know he’s dead,” he shouts, “I don’t need you to tell me.”
“Good, now that information is consolidated maybe you’ll come back and live your life,” you say, the harshness in your tone making your throat ache.
“I am living my life,” he retorts.
“Running off with girls to the Laughlin’s cottage at 3am, that’s living your life?” you ask.
“Is this still about Avery?” he asks, then laughs, “you’re pathetic.”
“I’m pathetic?” you yell, “you have spent the majority of the past few weeks at her side, working this shit out and I’ve been patient and I let it happen and I waited but now there’s more to this mystery and I can’t do it again and it’s not fair for you to put me in that situation again. So forgive me if I’m sounding a little pathetic.”
“Fair? My uncle is still out there, still alive,” he replies.
“You never even knew him,” I roll my eyes.
“He’s family,” he roars.
Something about Jameson was that he was loyal to the bone when it came to family.
I shrug, “so was your grandfather and look how he treated you.”
“Don’t speak a word against him,” he says, his voice low, warning, dangerous
“You were never good enough for him and that killed you,” I reply, my voice failing to stay stable, “he broke you and I helped fix you and now we’re going back around the same cycle. Why are you still letting him continue to break you?”
“I said don’t speak a WORD against him!” he tells, his voice powerful
You could cry. You feel like it. But you don’t. For some reason you’re past tears now.
“But when you did it was okay?” I scream back, “when you’d come to your bedroom a wreck and shit talk him, who listened to you then huh? Don’t throw this all back in my face now, don’t you fucking dare.”
“I’m not trying to-“
“Well you are,” you cut him off,
He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head, “look I don’t know what the hell you’re on this afternoon but-“
“What the hell I’m on?” you scoff.
His face softens and so does his tone, “all this arguing we’re doing, it’s not us,” he says, “it never has been so are we really going to carry on this stupid fight?”
“I don’t know, why don’t you ask Avery?” you ask, it’s petty but you didn’t feel like being mature in this moment
“This keeps circling back to her,” he sighs with an eye roll.
“You have spent the entirety of the morning with her,” I stated “again.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” he says.
“Seriously?” I ask, my jaw hanging slack.
“What?”
“You know what, it doesn’t even matter,” you shake your head and begin to walk out.
“Sweetheart,” he says, lunging forwards to grab your arm. You spin around and can see the desperation seeping from his eyes.
“I’m going out,” you tell him harshly,
“Where?” he asks immediately.
“For a walk,” you shrug, going to turn again. But he holds you firmly in his grip.
“I’ll come with you,” he says.
“No, I need headspace right now,” you snap coldly.
“Okay, that’s fine,” he nods, eyes wide with understanding. You hated that he was being so nice when you were supposed to be mad at him, it wasn’t fair, “but at least take a bodyguard with you.”
“No,” you immediately say.
“Yes,” he argues back.
“I’m not one of you, Jameson,” you quip. You can see in his face that pains him but you’re too furious to care, “people aren’t coming for me, I’m not taking a bodyguard.”
“Look I’m sorry about before but-“
“It’s not about you Jameson,” you yell, “I just need a walk.”
“Okay, but I’m still sorry and please baby, take a bodyguard with you,” he begs.
“I’m not going to,” you reply, “I need to be alone.”
“Fine, okay then,” he shrugs, pretending not to care, “yeah fine, go have fun in nature or something.”
“I will,” you snap, charging out, slamming the door behind you.
***
You start walking with no intention of going anywhere. In a headspace of anger, your pace is swift and dominant. You needed air, you needed a clear head, you needed to get away. Bringing a bodyguard felt claustrophobic. You didn’t want another person breathing down your neck. You just needed to be alone for a while. A million and one thoughts swarm your mind. He probably complained about you to Avery, you think, kicking a rock violently. He’s probably with her right now, telling her what an annoying, selfish, jealous person you are and she’s probably comforting him. The thought of it makes your stomach squeeze.
It was getting darker and colder by the second. In your rage you’d forgotten to bring a hoodie and now you’re absolutely freezing. The street lights flicker on and you suddenly realise you have no idea where you are. You’re cold, alone, lost and a little hungry. You pray it doesn’t start to rain. You get out your phone quickly to look on google maps, but two red words flash up: no connection. Great. Just when you thought today couldn’t get any worse. You wish you hadn’t left the house now, but didn’t know which way to turn to walk back. You walk around the corner of a tall white building, hoping to see a signpost nearby.
That’s when you notice the footsteps of someone behind you. You turn absentmindedly to see a stranger dressed in all black clothing. You couldn’t properly see their face or decipher whether they were a man or woman. Feeling a little sceptical, you choose to cross to the other side of the road, trying to shake or anxious feelings that were creeping in. You spin the ring on your finger, trying to breathe in and out slowly. You side glance at the figure a few times to see that they’re still on the opposite side of the road. You exhale and turn the corner, feeling stupid for getting so het up over nothing.
You hear more footsteps and paranoid you look behind. You feel sick. The mystery stranger is back. Panic seizes your throat and you walk a little faster, noting their feet also pick up the pace. You turn a second corner. So do they. A thousand and one questions flashed up in your mind. What did they want? Why were they following you? And more importantly how long had they been following you for? You’re breathing heavily, maybe too heavily. You don’t want them to know you’re scared.
You fumble to reach your phone, hurriedly finding your contacts. You click Jameson’s name but the call fails. Your eyes flick to your internet, still none. You try again, the cycle repeats. Tears well up in your eyes. You were hopeless, helpless and frightened to death. You begin to fiddle anxiously with your necklace trying to work out what to do next, but your mind was blank. You couldn’t think. The person was a good few meters behind you now. A silent tear of rolls down your cheek as you carry on walking forwards, pretending you’re going somewhere in hope the follower might get bored a leave. They did not. You bite back and audible sob and notice one bar lights up in the top right hand corner of your phone screen. You have one bar of internet and you’ve never felt more relieved. Your finger rushes to hit the call button. One ring and he picks up. It’s a miracle.
“Sweetheart,” he breathes, a sense of relief and a smile in his voice.
“Jamie,” you say, your voice more panicked than you’d intended.
“What’s wrong?”
His voice is immediate and assertive but thick with anxiety. He can sense there’s something wrong, he knows.
“Jamie there’s someone following me,” you hyperventilate, the sharp sudden breaths hurting your chest.
“Where are you?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” you say, your voice shaky, “and I’m panicking.”
“Okay, don’t worry, just keep walking straight,” he instructs, “okay sweetheart?”
“Okay,” you murmur.
“Just breathe,” he soothes, “I’m tracking your location.”
You exhale unevenly and carry on walking.
“Are you near any buildings?” Jameson asks, strategically. You can tell he’s concentrated.
“There’s a housing complex and a few shops across the street,” you describe.
“Good,” he replies, “cross the road and go into one of the shops and stay in there.”
“Okay,” you answer, jogging across the road, taking note of anything that might help Jameson find you.
“What’s the name of the shop you’re going to go into?” he asks, “it might help me track you a little faster.”
You step back to read the cursive white letters, “Betty’s,” you reply, stepping in.
“That’s it?” he confirms.
“That’s it,” you say, carefully stepping inside, seeing the follower cross the road in the refection of the shop window.
Your heart thuds in your chest as the little bell rings to announce your entrance in the shop. It was one of those little knick-knack type shops, small but compact. You pretend to admire a china tea set.
“Are you inside?” Jameson asks, his voice washing some sort of comfort over you.
“Yes,” you say quickly, subconsciously tracing the tablecloth deign with your index finger.
“Have they followed you inside?” he asks.
“No,” you reply, though you haven’t looked up, the shop bell definitely has not rung since your arrival. You are the only customer in this shop. You look up and see them standing outside, you catch their eye and fear flicker through you as you quickly turn away, jolts of sheer nauseating panic runs up and down your abdomen, “Jamie they’re waiting outside, oh god Jameson they’re waiting outside, for me to come out, oh god.”
“Hey! Hey! You have the stay calm,” he says sharply but kindly, “as long as you’re in there you’re safe and I’m on my way now.”
“You found where I am?” you breathe, sounding too much like a child than you care to admit.
“I’m getting into the car as we speak,” he replies.
He’s coming. You tell yourself. You’re going to be okay. You say in your head.
“Stay on the line with me,” you blurt out, “please.”
“Of course baby, I’m not going anywhere,” he says, the concern in his voice made you yearn to be in his arms.
The other end of the phone goes silent except for the sound of a car engine, gently groaning in motion. You try to distract yourself by admiring the little collection of ceramic mouse figurines and try to give all of them a name. That’s when you catch the stranger in your peripheral.
“Jameson I’m scared,” you bite the inside of your cheek, “I’m really scared.”
“I’m coming, just hang in there okay,” he comforts “breathe for me.”
“Jameson,” you exhale, your hands becoming increasingly more restless.
“Hey, sweetheart, take a breath with me okay?” he says, “together?”
“Together,” you nod, despite the fact that he can’t see you, but somewhere deep down you know he knows you’re nodding.
“In through your nose and out through your mouth, okay?” he replies.
I’m through your nose and out through your mouth. You repeat the motion over and over with him over the phone, until you’re bored.
“I’m nearly there,” he mentions after a while.
“You promise?” you say, your breath hitching.
“I promise, just stay where you are,” he says calmly.
“Okay,” you reply.
“Sorry honey we close at 11:00,” comes a voice.
It makes you jump at first, as you yelp in surprise at the old woman beside you. Where had she appeared from? You drop your phone and it crashes to the floor. You realise for the first time how tightly you’d had it pressed to the side of your face as the cold air rushes to that spot and you feel the sticky sweat. You scramble to pick up your phone.
“I’m fine,” you reassure Jameson quickly, before turning the the woman, “sorry, would I be able to stay a few more minutes?”
She glances disapprovingly at you and then her watch, “I don’t think so.”
“It won’t be long, I promise,” you rush.
“I’m sorry but I have to lock up now,” she shakes her head and waves the keys between her fingers.
“Just until my boyfriend gets here,” you try again, desperation slicing through your tone.
“You’re not purchasing anything and it’s closing hours,” she replied sternly, “I need to lock up.”
“Please,” you beg.
“Store policy I’m afraid,” she shrugs flatly.
“I’ll but the whole damn place of you let me stay,” you exclaim, not really sure why the sentence left your mouth but it was too late to take it back now.
“This place isn’t for sale,” she says sourly with pursed wrinkled lips.
“Not literally,” you sigh, “look I’ll make a purchase.”
“No purchases after 11:00,” she responds, blunt as a baseball bat.
“But you just said-“
“We’re closed,” she snaps.
“Please just let me stay for five minutes,” you ask, hoping by some miracle she’ll agree.
“I really can’t do that,” she sighs, with an almost apologetic look on her face “I’m sorry.”
“Two minutes?” you try to compromise.
She stares through you, “I’m going to call the police.”
“There’s someone out there following me outside,” you burst, “so please, if you’re going to call the police on anyone, do it on them.”
The woman gently cocks her head to see the mysterious figure outside the window, her eyes widen by the tiniest fraction and she stares back at you. You wonder what she’s thinking. She chews her lip thoughtfully for a while and then finally replied, “there’s a back way out, I can take you through to there.”
“Thank you,” you exhale in relief.
She walks hurriedly walks away and you follow her, ending up at the very back of the shop. It couldn’t be seen from the window, but how long would it take for the follower to realise? Not long enough, you pray, hoping Jameson would arrive in time. There is a small green door with a lacy translucent curtain across the window.
“Here,” she nods towards it, “get home safe.”
“Thanks,” you say gratefully.
You almost trip out of the back door but managed to stabilise yourself, the old woman slams to door and it nearly clips your heals. You quickly press your phone back to your ear, realising Jameson is still on the line.
“Jamie?” you say.
“I’m still here,” he replies, reading your mind, “Betty’s a bitch.”
You choke on your own spittle, “what?”
“Betty,” he states as if it’s obvious.
“Betty?” you question, hoping he’ll elaborate.
“Well I assume it’s her name,” he says, you could practically hear him shrug, “the woman who just kicked you out of her shop.”
“Oh, you heard all of that?” you say.
“I did,” he confirms, “but I’m two minutes away now.”
“Two minutes?” you check, hope returning your voice.
“Yeah,” he confirms gently.
“I’m still at the back,” you mention, “but I’ll walk to the front to meet you.”
“Okay,” he replies, “I’m so close sweetheart, don’t worry.”
“Okay I-“
All the air is knocked from your lungs as you turn the corner and someone grabs your shoulders and it’s so sudden you forget to scream. Fear runs cold and thick through your veins. You can’t move. The grip is strong and foreign, their hands are callous and your arms ache the longer you’re in their hold. Paralysed, you fail to struggle free. It all happens in a blur. You feel yourself being thrown to the side and you land on the pavement with a hard thump after rolling over your ankle. Pain seizes through it and you bite back a yelp. You look up, struggling to your feet and see Jameson has arrived.
Jameson. Jameson. Jameson.
He’s fighting the mysterious follower who you can now see is man. He’s a few inches taller than Jameson and has much more muscle but Jameson is quicker, more agile. You wish you could help him but the searing agony deriving from your ankle would’ve only made him slower. So you’re now just watching. It’s a tête-a-tête of frantic hits and blocks, all scarily aggressive. The look in Jameson’s eyes is not one you recognise, it’s like the green had been frosted over with ice. The follower lunges at him suddenly and an audible gasp escapes your lips. He has Jameson in a headlock. You stumble forwards, ready to attack him from behind when Jameson twists the man’s arms in an awkward direction, leaving him vulnerable. In the split second Jameson knees him in the stomach and begins to punch him repeatedly.
Jameson’s jaw is clenched, his hair is ragged and wild. A flow of crimson red liquid falls from one nostril and from a new wound just above his eyebrow. His eyes are fierce and gleaming, like a predator on its prey. You’re not sure you know who this man is, he’s not Jameson, he’s a mutation, a weapon, a unrecognisable being.
“Jamie,” you murmur, your voice shaking. You can’t stop yourself, you’re too scared.
He can’t hear properly, he doesn’t even acknowledge you. He carries on punching and punching but the follower seems to be cold out.
“Jameson stop! You’re scaring me!” you yell, fear in your throat but fire in your belly.
He looks up and he freezes, all but his hands that are shaking from the adrelenline rush. He looks down at his bloodied knuckles to the limp figure on ground, then back to me again. He can see the fright in my features that I’m so desperately trying to conceal.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” he says, “it’s okay, let’s go home.”
“Is he dead?” you say, the words so much harsher than you intended.
“No,” he shakes his head gently, “just knocked out, I promise.”
“I-“ you can’t finish the sentence.
“You’re shaking,” he murmurs tentatively, wrapping an arm around you to still your trembling torso.
“I’m fine,” you say, trying to sound strong, but synthetic strength only made you sound weaker.
“You’re not fine,” he shakes his head.
“Let’s just get out of here,” you sigh, then look at him with sparkling eyes, “please?”
“Of course,” he says, concern bleeding across his features.
You begin to walk but have to bite your lip as pain rips through your ankle with weight pressing down on it.
“What wrong?” Jameson asks, his reaction instant and lightning fast.
“Nothing,” you shake your head, trying to carry on without displaying the pain.
But he’s too vigilant for his own good, “are you hurt?”
“No, it’s fine,” you reply, in denial, “I’m fine.”
You’ve found that things are easier to believe if you say them out loud. Unfortunately not in this case.
“Where?” he asks, stopping still, pressing gently down your arms to check for tentative pressure points.
You pull away, “Jamie I’m-“
“Where?” he asks firmly, giving me that look.
“I just rolled over my ankle,” you sigh, “it’s not a big deal.”
“Do you want me to carry you?” he offers.
“No,” you say quickly, too quickly.
The truth was, you did want to be carried. The thought of being in his protective arms, pressed up against his chest was very appealing. But just like he could see your winces and hear your sharp breaths in, you notice his. The fight hadn’t been easy on him, no matter how stubbornly he tries to hide it.
“Just support me and I’ll support you,” you reply.
“I don’t need support,” he says.
You stare at him, “you don’t have to be the knight in shining armour with me, I thought you’d stopped that.”
You’d made a pact at the start of your relationship that Jameson couldn’t play that role. You were there for each other, it wasn’t one or the other.
“Fine,” he grits through his teeth, “we’ll support each other.”
You both walk, labouring, limping and leaning on one another. In the silence of it all you have time to think about all that had happened, a chances you hadn’t previously had with your mind always preoccupied on something else. A tidal wave of guilt almost drowns you.
“I’m sorry,” you burst out suddenly, feeling all of a sudden emotional, as tears run down your face.
You didn’t realise how much yours been keeping it in, your fear, your pain, your guilt, your sorrow.
“Hey, shhhh,” he soothes, caressing your cheek, “shhh shh stop that now, hey, hey.”
“I shouldn’t have left,” you shake your head, “I shouldn’t have got so angry and walked so far alone and it was dark-“
“Y/n, breathe,” Jameson murmurs, “I’m not angry, it’s not your fault, I’m just glad you’re safe now, okay? I would never let him hurt you, you know that right?”
You nod.
“Let’s get to the car and then we can go home, okay?” he suggests softly.
“Okay,” you murmur in response.
He wraps his arm back around your shoulders and holds your hand with the other, steering you towards his car. He walks around to your door, looking over his shoulder cautiously, making sure you are in and safe before he thinks of himself. You’ve never felt safer in a car, your back pressed up against the seat. Your leg bobs up and down uncontrollably, even when your try to stop it. Seems the adrenaline had gotten to you more than you’d thought.
Jameson is swift to get into the driver’s seat and start the car. He silently places his hand on your upper thigh to still the shaking. The warmth of his familiar touch relaxes some of the built up worry in your chest. One knot has been untied from the incomprehensible ball.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
You nod numbly. You didn’t reply with words in fear that you’d spill out the truth. Lying to Jameson was a challenge.
“Stupid question,” he mumbles, “of course you’re not.”
“I think I’m still trying to process what just happened,” you murmur, not a complete lie. You’d only processed parts.
“Okay, that’s fine, take as long as you need,” he says reassuringly, “I’m here if you want to talk.”
You nod again. Then take a breath.
“I’m sorry,” you say, choked up with emotion, “I’m sorry for fighting, I don’t know why I get so annoyed it’s just-“
“It doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you’re safe,” he tells you gently.
“Safe,” you repeat, the word has an odd texture on your tongue.
“You are safe,” Jameson replies firmly.
“I am safe,” you repeat, believing it a little more.
***
The two of you had gotten back to Hawthorne House late. No one was around so no questions were asked. But whilst you showered and changed Jameson insisted on getting the security team on it and you didn’t object. You join Jameson in your shared room after your shower, he’s already waiting with open arms. You clamber into the bed and fall onto his chest. The smell of him indescribably addictive. He wraps his arms around your torso and you wince, tenderness spreading across the tops of your arms and upper back.
“What hurts baby?” he asks, eyebrows knotted with worry.
“Nothing,” you reply, shrugging the pain off.
He looks at you, “you don’t have to lie to me.”
You’re silent for a few beats but then finally murmur, “my arms.”
“Let me see,” he says.
“It’s okay-“
“Let me see,” he whispers, sending a hot shiver down your spine. 
You slowly slip of your jumper and expose the rounded bruises from the follower’s fingers. You’d discovered them moments ago in the bathroom, it must’ve been from where he’d grabbed you. You can’t see Jameson’s face but judging by the thick blanket of tense air that had enveloped your surroundings, you have a good idea of what he’s thinking.
“He did this?” he asks, tracing every bruise so delicately it nearly tickles.
“Jamie he grabbed me,” you explain.
“I’ll kill him for laying a finger on you,” he spits, a foreign violence in his tone you weren’t sure you liked.
“Don’t say that,” you say before you can stop yourself.
“What?” he looks at you in wild disbelief.
“Talk of killing him,” you close your eyes, “you’re not a murderer.”
He opens his mouth.
“Don’t you dare argue with me,” you snap, a raw intensity in your voice. You struggle to recall where you found it.
Silence you like a car hits roadkill. Swiftly and out of nowhere with a sickening thud.
“You know you scared me back there,” you murmur, meeting his eyes shyly.
“Me?”
“When you were punching him…” you trail off, “you looked so angry.”
“I was angry” he retorts, “no one should do that, especially not to you. Never to you.”
“Yeah but I really thought you might…” you stop yourself.
“I might what?” he urges you to continue.
“I don’t know,” you say trying to brush it off, “it doesn’t matter.”
“No it does,” he replies, “you thought I might kill him right?”
“It just wasn’t you punching that guys, it wasn’t my Jameson,” you murmur.
“Your Jameson doesn’t protect you,” he yells and you flinch slightly.
You don’t meet his eye, “no, not like that.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just…” he sighs, “I never would’ve forgiven myself if something had happened to you.”
“It would’ve been my fault for storming off like that, god I’m so stupid,” emotion rises thick in your throat.
“Hey, stop beating yourself up about this,” Jameson says, “it was my fault in the first place.”
“No it wasn’t-“
“Yes it was, let’s just forget about this okay,” he insists.
“But what if he comes back? What if he knows where I am? What did he want with me Jamie? What if-“
“It’s all going to be sorted okay, we have so many staff on it right this second,” he says tracing the outlines of your knuckles, “you just need to breathe.”
“I am breathing,” you grit through your teeth.
“What’s worrying you then?” he asks softly.
“I don’t know,” you reply, biting back a sob.
He senses the emotion, “come here.”
You practically collapse into his arms, keeping your tears at bay just barely. There’s something about being in his arms, against the warmth of his body that made the bad things go quiet for a second, that stopped the overwhelming voices in your head, that silences your thudding heart. But even now, things were unusually playing on your mind, despite the comfort.
“I don’t know Jamie,” you murmur into his chest, “I’m scared and exhausted and anxious and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Let me help you,” he whisper, gently running his fingers through your hair.
“I don’t think you can,” you mumble, your eyes grappling to stay open.
“I will find a way,” he says, you almost laugh at his stubbornness.
“I don’t want to lose you,” you reply, your voice breaking, “I don’t know anything bad to happen.”
“You’re not going to lose me and I won’t let anything bad happen,” Jameson kisses the top of your head, “I promise.”
“I don’t feel safe,” you admit.
“What’s making you feel unsafe baby?” he asks, aching concern in his voice.
“Before today I’d never even imagined potentially being kidnapped and it just happened today,” you ramble, “and that means there’s so many other things that I couldn’t ever have imagine that might happen.”
“If we spend our whole lives in fear of what might happen we’d forget to live,” Jameson says.
You meet his emerald eyes and try not to melt, “I’m scared.”
“There’s no need to be,” he comforts, “I’m here.”
“You promise?”
“Always,” he says. His voice is so sure, so strong. It almost makes you believe.
“And you’re not going anywhere?”
“Not anywhere without you,” he grins lopsidedly, the real Jameson shining through making your cheeks tint a pale pink.
“I’m sorry,” you say again, the residing guilt flowing back in.
“If you apologise one more time I’m going to do a lyrical dance routine to ‘hot stuff’ only dressed in sequinned hot pants and a top hat,” he says.
“I think I’d quite like to see that,” you can’t help but smile, “I should apologise more often.”
He chuckles softly and kisses the top of your head. You nuzzle into the nape of his neck and allow one tear to slip from the under your mask. Just one.
“I’ve got you baby and I’m not letting go,” Jameson whispers.
“Please don’t let me go,” you murmur, sounding as small as a child.
“I’m not, never ever,” he murmurs, kissing your nose, then cheeks and then a soft kiss on your lips.
You smile, a fluttery feeling in your chest and you kiss him back. His hands snake around your waist, the tentative touch making you tingle a little. You wish you could just focus on Jameson and nothing else but the problem was the scene kept replaying in your head. The man grabbing your shoulders, the bruises left on your skin, the smell of his cologne in your hair. He was everywhere.
“Hey sweetheart, it’s okay,” Jameson soothes, “you’re safe now.”
It’s only then you notice how your entire body is shaking, your bones rattling together. You try to stop but you can’t. He brings you into deeper his arms and holds your quivering limbs together. You wonder if he let go you’d fall apart all together.
***
You didn’t go to school the next day, instead you stayed curled up in Jameson’s arms as he gently traced spirals across your back with his index finger.
You can’t remember the last time you’d felt so in love.
***
Thursday rolls around far too quickly and you know you have to go back. Word about the stalker had been kept quiet but you know you couldn’t stay under your duvet forever. No matter how badly you wanted to. So you wake up early and take your time getting ready. Jameson sleeps like the dead all the way through it, even when you blow dry your hair. You meet Xander who is already at breakfast, eating muffins. You’d promised the week before you’d come and observe his biology project for him, so he could have a second opinion and you didn’t want to break that promise.
“You know you really didn’t have to come,” he says, still chewing, “after you know…”
“I want to Xand, really,” you say, “I can’t avoid it forever and I want to see your project.”
“If you’re sure?” he checks, with an eyebrow raise.
“I’m sure,” you nod, “I swear.”
“Well then, have a muffin or two and then we’ll be on our way,” he grins, handing me one from the plate in the centre.
“Roger that sir,” you smile back, saluting him as you take a bite.
***
School was difficult that day, not the content, just the energy. The problem was you had none. And it was one of those long modified timetable days where your first break of the day was lunch and it wasn’t even until 2:00pm. That in itself was a mood killer. On top of that you couldn’t get the follower out of your head. The events played on some sort of endless loop in your head. You wonder who it might be, why they might have been following you of all people. It was known you were dating Jameson but not that known. Apparently, according to Xander, Oren had been put on high alert and Alisa was working on finding their identity. That should have brought you solace. It didn’t.
But the more you thought about it the more your realised that part of you selfishly didn’t mind that it has happened too much because last night you’d felt more connected to Jameson than you had in forever. It had been a while since it had just been the two of you, no mysteries, no arguments, no Avery. Yesterday had solely been the two of you, all day. Just in the presence of one another but, at school, you hadn’t seen Jameson all morning, seen as you’d left for school early with Xander but he had sent you a string of text messages that you only see at first on your very late lunch break.
morning sweetheart
are you okay??
I know you left early with Xand but I’m still worried about you
text me for ANYTHING okay??
I love you xx
And then an hour later…
you still haven’t text back
are you okay??
I bribed the woman at the front desk for your schedule so you’re probably in class right now
unless you’re not!!
just answer me when you can okay
I love you
Then in the next hour…
ARE YOU OKAY!?
I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN THE HALLWAYS
PLEASE ANSWERRR!!!!
I love you ;)
You almost laugh at the cuteness of it all. You type a couple of messages in response incase he bribed the headteacher to let him use the announcement speaker to find you next.
I’m fine Jamie, don’t worry
late lunch break sorry I couldn’t text sooner
They bleep through one after the other, sending through.
meet you after school for our plans
You close your phone quickly and get to the next class, holding your books tightly to your chest. The next few periods better go fast.
***
They didn’t go fast. In fact every millisecond felt like an hour, the day seemed endless. You get out of class and don’t pass Jameson in any hallways yet again sk decide to go to your usual meeting spot after school. You send him a quick message.
waiting outside business studies
You wait for him by the curb. One minute passes, he’s been a minute late before, many times. So you figure it’s okay, leaning on the wall behind you. Five minutes go by next and most kids are leaving or have left the school premises. Maybe his class has run over, your brain suggests. Then it is ten minutes, barely anyone is walking out. The odd person, sure, but never Jameson. You begin to wonder where he might be. Detention? No, he always finds a way out of those. Basketball court? No, he doesn’t like to play with the other guys. Classroom? No, he wouldn’t spend longer than he had to in the school. You sigh, ten minutes isn’t that long after all. Maybe you’re overreacting. Still, you send him another text ‘hey, are you nearly here?’ Half an hour passes. That’s when you get really confused. He should definitely be here by now. Slowly you wonder down several hallways, checking your phone for any messages, calls or voicemails, but there are none. Few students are around and every time you look into a classroom Jameson isn’t there. You make your way back to your original spot, incase he turned up. Forty minutes pass and you try his phone for the last time, ringing him rather than just texting but it goes straight to voicemail. So you resort to calling Xander, hoping he’ll be able to help and ease the tightening knot of worry growing in your chest. There is only two rings.
“Hello y/n,” Xander’s cheerful voice says down the other end, “is there any reason you’re phoning the best Hawthorne on this fine afternoon?”
“Yeah, sorry Xand,” you reply, “but have you seen Jamie anywhere?”
“Don’t be sorry,” he tells me, “and I think I saw him come in earlier, I just presumed you were with him.”
Too many juxtaposed emotions hit you at once. Relief, he’s okay, he’s alive, he’s at home. Hurt, he left without you, abdomen or forgot the plans you had. Annoyance, he’d left without sparing you a second thought.
“No,” you mutter, “I wasn’t.”
“You sound annoyed,” Xander comments.
“I’m fine, sorry Xand,” you reply, putting some more life into your voice to wash away and tense notes, “it’s been a long day.”
“Don’t I know it,” he sighs, “but hey it’s the weekend now, fancy a game of strip bowling when you get back?”
Strip bowling was one of your favourites, mostly because you were very good at it and barely had to strip and also because Jameson usually ended up in his underwear. Xander must’ve sensed the false happiness in your voice and suggested it to be nice.
“Maybe tomorrow,” you say, trying to let him down gently. You did appreciate the gesture, but the thought of playing stop bowling right now did not match the mood.
“Yeesh your day was that bad huh?” he asks softly, playing it off as jokey.
“I’ll be okay,” you reassure him quietly.
“I’m here you know,” he reminds you.
“Thanks Xander,” you reply, but don’t elaborate. You didn’t feel like talking right now.
“Talk to Jamie, he’ll know how to make you feel better,” he suggests sweetly.
You smile through your pain, “yeah, I’ll give it a go.”
You hang up and exhale slowly, he doesn’t know that Jameson is your problem.
***
You get back to Hawthorne house about twenty minutes later. It sounds relatively empty, though it always does, seen as there were so many possible places for people to be. You wander through the entrance, trying to think where Jameson might be. You hear footsteps approaching and spin around to see a blonde in a suit. Wrong brother.
“Have you seen Jameson?” you ask him before he can greet you.
“He was upstairs earlier, with Avery,” Grayson replies.
All the air is knocked from your stomach, “Avery?”
“You didn’t know?” his expression flashed for a fraction of a second into something between guilt and shame before it is composed.
“No…” you trail off.
“Oh,” he replies, with an unreadable expression back on.
“Well thanks anyway,” you say with a synthetic smile.
You walk away quickly before he can respond, looking up with glossy eyes. You ascend the stairs quickly and don’t look back. You feel you need to see for yourself did this is true. But where would he take Avery? You could only hope it wasn’t the roof where the two of you stargazed, that would hurt like hell. You trail down a hallway where voices are coming from and stumble upon a door that is ajar. Inside, Jameson talking to Avery. Your stomach rolls uncomfortably. He’s positioned barely a foot a way and he’s laughing. He looks so beautiful when he laughs, but now it’s ugly. It’s like biting into something sweet and getting a sour taste. It’s not the fact that she made him laugh, it’s the fact he’s laughing like he laughs when he’s with you. That’s the thing that cuts deep. The way his eyes are sparkling and his smile is wide and carefree, you thought he reserved those kind of smiles only for you.
Clearly not.
You turn your back on the scene and rush to your bedroom. You swing the door open forcefully and then slam it shut behind you. So he’d ditched your plans for her. Great. You sigh as you collapse down on your bed feeling an unwelcome tightness squeezing across your chest. Tears well up in your eyes. You didn’t like to cry, you rarely ever did. But right now, you couldn’t do anything about it. The tears just flowed down your cheeks and your whole body shook with each sob. Your heart physically ached, something you hadn’t thought was possible until this moment. A searingly mournful agony rippling through the left side your the chest. You felt so vulnerable, so exposed. You didn’t stop crying the blanket was soaked through, weighted with wet emotion and your throat was so raw it was numb.
***
You binge movies for the rest of the evening, the only feeling left in your system was anger, you’d cried all the sadness out. You felt so done with feeling shit and binging movies gave you that outlet of doing nothing, thinking nothing and feeling nothing. Exhaustion is beginning to win the ongoing battle between the two of you when you hear soft footsteps approaching. Jameson had been practically out of your mind the whole evening, Disney movies are a good distraction, but that is until he walks in. You hear as the door handle turns and he enters. Your eyes flicker to the clock, it’s just gone midnight.
“Hey sweetheart,” he murmurs, taking his suit jacket off and undoing his top button, “you’re up late.”
“What do you want?” you ask, eyes glued to Elsa’s performance of ‘let it go’ on the tv screen.
He immediately notices something is off and walks over, “woah, hey, what’s wrong?”
“Oh so now you care?” you scoff, looking him dead in the eye.
“What did I do?” he asks quickly, cluelessly.
“You are unbelievable,” you exclaim, switching the movie off before hurling the control across the room.
Jameson stares in disbelief, “why are you so pissed off?”
“You don’t know why I’m annoyed?” you ask, dumbfounded.
“No…” he replies hesitantly, like he’s treading on egg shells.
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,”
“Oh my god,” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head, “tell me you’re joking, please.”
“I’m not joking,” he says, the desperation and worry evident in his tone.
“Do you even know what we were supposed to do today?” you ask with a withered look.
A moment of realisation strikes and you notice as his eyes widen and his jaw drops a little.
“Shit. I’m sorry, I forgot,” he says, actually looking guilty. You almost feel sorry for him.
“Yeah I know,” you deadpan, folding your arms across your chest.
“There’s just been a lot going on lately and with the following and then I was days behind on the thing with Toby and-“
“Am I some sort of burden,” you retort, eyebrows raised.
“What? No! I never said that,” he exclaims, his voice raised.
“Okay,” you shrug, nonchalantly. The small display of passive aggression would get under his skin, prickling it like an unscratchable itch.
“Last time we argued it ended with you being followed, I don’t want you in that situation again,” he says, his voice dominant and definitive.
“You’re making this about you!” you yell, rage blinding your vision, “what you want, for me!”
“Oh so you want to be followed, stalked?” he asks, with a forced cruel laugh.
“That’s not what I said,” you snap, eyes narrowed.
“Sounds like it,” he bites back, the bitterness in his voice hurting you far more than you cared to admit.
You don’t say anything for a long while but eventually cut through the long silence, “I even text you about it,” you say quietly.
“What?” he replies, head cocked to the side, confused.
“About tonight,” you say, raising your hands into the air with an eye roll.
“No you didn’t!” he yells back, defensively.
“Yes I did,” you scream.
“Look, this is the last message I got,” he exclaims, shoving his phone’s bright screen into your face.
‘late lunch break sorry I couldn’t text sooner’
You stare at the message and then quickly open your phone to double check. Your message hadn’t gone through, you look up glaring at him. You were mad he didn’t remember, mad the message never went through and just mad in general.
“It didn’t go through, I couldn’t help it,” he defends.
“You still forgot,” you press on, getting mor annoyed by the second, “I shouldn’t have to remind you that you have plans with your girlfriend.”
“Look, I’m really sorry,” he replies and you can see the meaning in his face, “we’ll reschedule.”
“I don’t want to do it anymore,” you tell him nonchalantly. You know you’re being petty, but you can’t help it.
“Oh common y/n,” he says.
“No I don’t,” you shrug. He’d messed it up, that opportunity was passed now.
“Look I just needed to-“
“What you needed to do was stick to your word, what you needed to do was remember when you had things plans, what you needed to do was think before you acted,” you say in a low voice, interrupting him, “but you did none of that.”
“I can’t have a life now?” he scoffs, growing irritated, “that’s not you.”
“What’s not me?” you scowl.
“This, right now,” he says, “you’re being so controlling!”
You raise your eyebrows, almost laughing, “controlling? You started this argument!”
“No I didn’t!” he argues.
“You know what, if you didn’t want to have it out then you shouldn’t have asked why I was angry,” you roll your eyes, “so just forget about it.”
“Oh would you STOP doing that,” he yells.
“What?”
“The whole ‘forget about it’ thing, it’s so fucking annoying,” he retorts, anger creeping up in his tone.
“You know what else is annoying?” you ask him, “when your boyfriend is hanging out constantly with some random girl who inherited all his grandfather’s money, that’s really fucking annoying.”
He’s silent. Nothing to say for once. No witty reply, no deflection, nothing. His face is impossible to read, blank.
“Hang on, that’s not quite the right word,” you continue, “what about aggravating, demoralising, hurtful-“
“You know I never would’ve pinned you as a jealous possessive girlfriend,” he shakes his head, with a cruel chuckle.
“I’m not!” you snap, “but you lied Jameson, why did you feel the need to lie!?”
“Lie?”
“You told me a few days ago you’d climbed a wall and if I hadn’t known any better I would’ve believed you,” you say, “but you weren’t climbing a wall, you were with Avery.”
“This,” he says exasperatedly, “this is exactly the reason I lied.”
“What?” you ask.
“This overreaction,” he explains, making some weird hand gesture.
“I’m overreacting?” you scoff, as your eyebrows shoot to your forehead.
“Completely,” he exclaims.
“So let me just get this straight,” you begin, “you’d have never pinned me as a jealous possessive girlfriend but you lied to me about ditching our plans to spend time with another girl because you were worried about an overreaction? Right, that makes sense.”
“I’m sorry,” he exhales, “I’m sorry.”
“No you can’t just say sorry and then think it’s all going to be okay,” you shake your head, “sorry is just a stupid word, it means nothing.”
“I didn’t mean to say what I said just now and I am sorry that I hurt you,” Jameson says desperately, “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s not just that! You blew off our plans for her,” you yell with a sob, “so yeah that kind of fucking hurts.”
“Sweetheart I didn’t mean to-“
“Yeah well you did,” you laugh bitterly, aggressively wiping away your tears, “and I’m crying over it which is just stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” he tells you gently.
“Yes it is stupid Jameson,” you snap, the tears only flowing thicker and faster, “I feel like an idiot.”
“You shouldn’t,” he insists.
“Well I do, I’m such an idiot. I’m an idiot for fighting with you, I’m an idiot for getting myself followed, I’m an idiot for thinking that someone could actually love me, I’m an idiot for not seeing the signs sooner and I’m an idiot for crying over it all now,” you snivel, roughly scrubbing your tear-stained cheeks.
“Woah, hey,” he says, “sweetheart I love you. Just you.”
“Well it doesn’t feel like it lately,” you say, choking back a sob desperate to leave your throat.
His face softens, “sweetheart…”
He reaches out to touch me but you flinch away. His gentle touch is only a reminder of the good person he is and how much you love him for it. And you can’t afford to fall for it, not again, the pain was too much.
“You’re hurting me Jamie,” you say, your voice breaking as you jab a finger to your heart, “this is hurting me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs, as his eyes mellow.
“If you want to be with her I’d rather you just tell me,” you whimper, “it would save me the pain of all this back and forth and sneaking around and finding out. Just tell me straight.”
“I don’t want to be with Avery,” he says, “I never have.”
“You don’t look at me how you look at her,” you say bitterly, getting it off of your chest.
“You’re right I don’t,” he agrees. Your heart plummets, here it comes, the confession, the break up, the empty sorrys and eyes filled with tears. “I don’t look at you like I look at her, because I look at her like any other person on this planet, but when I look at you I’m looking at my world. And I’d sure as hell hope that differs from the look that I gave to everyone else.”
A wave of emotion coats your skin, soaking you through. His world. The words repeat over and over and over until you feel delirious.
“Do you mean that? Do you really mean that?” you whisper.
“Of course I do,” he sighs, “don’t you understand? I love you, it’s always been you, it will never not be you! You’re my person, you’re my other half, I was supposed to meet you and fall in love with you. You give me purpose and passion and so much more. When you called me the other night after our fight I’ve never been more frightened in my life, I was freaking out over here. I’ve never felt so panicked, so sick with the thought of someone being hurt. I’m in so love with you that I can’t even explain it and I can’t believe I led you to doubt it. Avery is a friend, I promise, she means nothing to me compared to you, trust me. How can I prove that to you?”
“I don’t know Jameson,” you shout, your head aching from this endless circle of arguments.
“Then marry me!” he yells, then his voice softens, “marry me.”
You freeze, every muscle in your body suddenly falling into a state of paralysis, “what?”
“You heard me,” he says, his expression too serious.
“Jameson,” you murmur, barely getting his name out.
“Marry me.”
a/n: I’m a sucker for fat dramatic impulse decisions (it’s a problem, you may have gathered from my more recent fics) SOZ GUYS 😘😘 anywayyysss the time frame is roughly (and I mean very ROUGHLY) based around chapters 11-13 of the Hawthorne brothers incase you were wondering
thanks for the req anon, so sorry again for the wait, hope you enjoyed the read 🤍🤍 if you made it to the end and didn’t DNF halfway through, well done!! can you guys tell I got way too carried away, this fic was so all over the place but I posted it anyway bc yolo
there will be no part 2!! sorry!! I really need a break from reqs… you decide how you answer 🤭🤭
TIG masterlist
Thinking of 21+ Toge Inumaki who makes you come whenever he wants
"Can't anymore- no more-- Toge please-"
"Hmm.." he hums to himself and gets between your legs, removing the vibrator he's been pressing there for what feels like hours, with endless orgasms, some so hard they've left you all but melting in a puddle of your own arousal.
Sliding his fingers through your mess, sinking them into you, he seems to be inspecting.
A mischievous smile crosses his face and he curls his fingers, hitting the plushy spot inside you that makes your legs shake.
"T-To-ge-- Toge- wait-!!"
And with that grin and the pure devilish look in his lilac eyes, you know what he's going to do.
Unzipping his turtleneck, he leans right up close to your pretty face, making direct eye contact with his fingers knuckle deep inside you and he utters-
"come"
It makes him giggle every time he does this. Seeing you helplessly squirming, your cute hole gripping his fingers from his words alone.
He thinks this is what his cursed speech was for all along. He's found its purpose.
"come" again, he keeps going, seeing the sweat begin to glisten on your forehead, your hair sticking to your face, the sheets getting soaked.
And that's when he has another brainwave straight from hell.
He wonders if you'd mind.
Well, in this state he's sure you'd do anything even if he gave you a choice.
So he stands up from the bed, watching your dazed and confused expression for a moment, until his next command comes-
"on your knees"
And he watches your face shift from hesitant, shocked, and finally landing on... aroused.
He was right.
He knew a little freak like you would love this.
Now, he makes you come over and over until you're moaning and drooling all over him, giving the messiest head he's ever received.
But he knows you enjoy how he torments you, so he got cocky and started doing it in public.
Standing close enough so only you would hear, whispering directly in your ear-
"come"
And that's all it would take, to have your body shaking in his arms, biting your lip to stifle the moans. Sometimes you'd even try to hide your face in his chest, but he'd just push you back gently and continue as if nothing happened.
Every time he does it, he can't help but think about that perfect, dripping pussy, the slick that's pooling in your panties, then running down your legs by the third or fourth time, and it gets him undeniably hot.
He can't help but take pleasure in this, smiling to himself all day, when you're out shopping, getting lunch, or meeting friends.
Your friends do wonder why he looks so happy all the time...
I JUST REALISED I CAN DRAW AND I CAN DRAW MY SELFSHIPS OHHHH THIS IS GNA BE SO GOOD
inumaki never cared for girls in such way like crushes.
he never had the chance to, being a jujutsu sorcerer took up most of his time and he didn’t think that his vocabulary was all that appealing, talking only with onigiri ingredients is anything but attractive.
yet, he couldn’t stop his heart from beating out of his chest, when you joined the first years. sure, inumaki seen pretty girls before, but you are utterly beautiful, an angel sent from heaven in his opinion. your eyes are bright with glee and your whole body glows from happiness.
it doesn’t help that from the second inumaki was introduced to you, you’ve been giving him a hard time with the way you’re always look for him first during gatherings and call him ‘inumaki-senpai’ in every conversation. you never seem bothered by his lack of talking in real life, but always make sure to get his responses across correctly. you often tell him how much of a chatterbox he is in messages and it makes you happy that you can get to know him more, even if it isn’t with spoken words.
inumaki, however, longs to talk to you, the way you speak with others and have an actual conversation with you, instead of just writing out his thoughts.
“toge, are you okay?” panda’s voice drags him back to training, where all of his friends and gojo look at him curiously. it’s unusual for inumaki to be so quiet during training, he usually cheers on the others or declares winners.
out of habit, his violet eyes find yours and he freezes when he makes eye contact with him, a small grin grazing your lips as you tip your head to the side. inumaki feels his body going stiff, body growing hot from all the attention he’s getting, mainly from you.
“shake” he quietly mumbles, tearing his gaze away from you and instead, he wishes for the ground to swallow him.
panda and maki exchange knowing looks, the two have been aware of inumaki’s crush on you for quite some time now, often teasing the platinum haired male about it. they just don’t understand why inumaki hasn’t confessed to you yet, it’s obvious that you got something for the boy.
training continues on like nothing happened, if gojo picked up on why inumaki spaced out, thankfully he hasn’t voiced it out loud.
inumaki is itching to get away from you the second gojo let’s you guys go, feeling his heart break when you call out his name, as he runs back to his dorm room to get some closure. inumaki wants to be with you so badly, but the thoughts of being unable to properly communicate with you because of his stupid inherited curse technique makes him feel so self conscious.
he would rather suffer in silence with his possibly unrequited feelings, than have you suffer because of him.
inumaki can’t to keep his sniffles at bay, his destructive thoughts taking over, leaving him a miserable mess on his bed.
sleep brings him little peace, when all of his dreams are about you.
the next morning, it’s easy to pretend like nothing happened last night for inumaki. everyone greets him like usual at breakfast, but as he looks around, he quickly notes that neither you or nobara are present at the table.
“they’ve been sent out on an early mission last night, but they should be back by noon” maki responds to her friends unsaid question nonchalantly, but side eyes inumaki for his reaction. his shoulders visibly relax and only nods before grabbing a few sandwiches to eat.
true to maki’s word, you and nobara do return around noon, all exhausted and a little beaten up, though it’s nothing major. your friends are waiting for you at the entrance of jujutsu tech and inumaki feels his heart going wild in his chest, when you approach him with a huge grin on your face.
“i got this for you on our way back” your voice is filled with excitement as you hold a white plastic bag towards him and only him. “you seemed a little sad last night, i thought some tuna mayo onigiri might cheer you up” the last bit of your sentence is a little quieter and you don’t look at him anymore, instead your gaze is on the ground.
inumaki feels his whole body is lit on fire and takes your little gift, making the butterflies in his stomach doing flips from your sweet little gesture.
“sujiko” his tone is soft as he speaks to you and you lift your head to meet his eyes, looking at you with such tenderness, you think you could literally melt into a puddle. “shake” he nods with a gentle smile and you give him a toothy grin, both of your cheeks reddened.
the rest of your friends just stand around watching the two of you in vain, wishing upon all gods for the two of you to just confess already. though it seems like neither you or inumaki are bothered by their presence, as he he lifts a hand to cup your cheek with care, a little bruised and a cut slicing through your soft skin.
“takana?” inumaki asks quietly, his thumb swiping across the cut in a feather light touch and it makes your brain stop working for a second. unable to answer his question, you only shake your head while leaning into his warm touch.
inumaki’s lips make contact with your skin before neither of you can process it and your little bubble is nearly popped by the loud squealing noise of nobara and yuuji, but they are dragged away by panda and maki, megumi following quietly behind.
now that the two of you are alone, inumaki looks at you for any sign of discomfort because with that peck, he might’ve overstepped some boundaries, but when you step closer to him, he’s not sure how to feel.
“you ran away from me last night” your minty breath is on his lips as you look up at him with a pout. inumaki doesn’t have the chance to react because you continue on speaking. “i really like you inumaki, so tell me if you don’t feel the same because i feel like i’m going crazy” you whisper, need dripping off of your words and inumaki thinks your confession is a dream before smashing his lips against yours, the plastic dropping from his hand as he grabs your waist, pulling you closer to him.
your own hands sneak into his hair and you step on your tiptoes to return his kiss, which makes inumaki groan in turn. he’s been waiting to kiss you, to feel you this close for so long now and the thoughts he had last night immediately disappear from his mind as you pull away from him for a second before your plump lips find his again, this time your hands are on his face, pulling him closer to deepen your kiss.
you’re the first one to pull away finally to breathe and inumaki chases after your lips before pressing his forehead against yours, violet eyes finding yours filled with adoration.
“i like you” he lowly mumbles against your lips and your eyes widen at his words before you close them and tuck your face in the crook of his neck shyly, pressing a soft kiss there. “i like you” toge mumbles again, pressing a kiss into the crown of your hair as he hugged you closer to his chest.
@/vlrspace, 2023
HI! This is my very first time asking for a request, am so nervous! I was wondering if you could write a short story with Re4r Leon were he and his fem! reader are both married and have meet each other in raccoon city and are separated from Ashley and run into Ada in the room were you solve that tile puzzle in the game and she flirts with Leon and says the line “I might give you that greeting you were looking for. And it makes the reader feel like she is not good enough for Leon and remembering the shared kiss both him and Ada had back at raccoon city. You can add more too it if you would like.
This is so cute, nothing beats a jealous lover to comfort. Hopefully, you love reading this as much as I loved writing it, Enjoy!
Author's Note: This is so cute, nothing beats a jealous lover to comfort. Hopefully, you love reading this as much as I loved writing it, I could not find this scene for the life of me so hopefully you will Enjoy it!
Warnings: jealous reader, mentions of death, guns, injuries, some fighting, little bit of angst
"Ashley wait!" Your hand reached out for the girl before a door slammed down causing the ground to shake.
"Fuck," Your hand slaps down to your side as you turn around to look at your partner, Leon.
"It's okay, we'll find a way to get to her." He unholsters his gun as he roams around the room to find a way out.
You and Leon had been attached at the hips since the police academy. Have being the first ones in the room you two naturally sat next to each other striking up a conversation. The moment Leon had stuck his hand out to greet you the connection was instant. From there on you guys did everything together, from hand-to-hand combat training to study partners you guys naturally gravitated towards each other. Like the sun and moon, Bonnie and Clyde, or Adam and Eve. So when it came time to choose a department to work at naturally you both went for Raccoon Police Department. This is when your troubles began, and your relationship furthered. After almost losing you Leon knew he had to make you his. Life is too short to not take risks. His messy confession and rosy cheeks had quickly led you guys into your 5th year of dating.
Government training was punishing and pushed you guys to the brink of extinction. That never stopped you guys from going onward, always moving, never stopping to enjoy the beauties of life. Which is what led you guys here. Trying to save the president's daughter was no easy task, not when bio-weapons and the past came to haunt you guys.
"Over here!" Leon called out to you from afar. His voice led you through a small tunnel into a bigger room than the last. In the middle of the room stood a podium with various tiles. Further past that was a door with a huge empty piece where you assumed the tiles went.
"Another fucking puzzle seriously?" Walking towards the podium you gathered the tiles and walked to the door.
"I'm tired of this weird village's antics, these puzzles are annoying." Leon only snorted in agreement as he stood at your side focusing on the task at hand.
"That one goes there," His gloved hand pointed to space in the puzzle.
Lifting the rather heavy tile it clicked into place causing the door to groan a bit.
"That's something I guess," You guys continued on with the puzzle before you heard a loud clank above you.
Whipping your head up to the noise you examined the ceiling.
"Did you hear that?"
"I'll go check it out." Leon pulls out his gun to look around the room while you continue the puzzle.
A few moments later you heard a few muffled words and a groan before the clicking of heels filled the room.
Those god-forsaken heels. The heels belonged to someone who has been the point of many arguments between you and Leon. The heels were filled by a beautiful federal agent who had ruined your self-esteem. How could she be so beautiful at a time like this? You looked like you have been through hell and back, dried blood coated your hands as your tank top was ripped. When the one and only Ada Wong looked like a model.
Turning around you watched as your own husband walked into the room with his hands up on either side of his head and Ada right behind him with a gun pointed at his head.
"Ada what a pleasant surprise," You turned back around to put another tile in the slot. The door shook the ground as dust fell around you.
"And who's this Leon?"
"I don't do greetings Ada," You sang your words as you placed another tile in.
This door started to move up a little bit. The crack was big enough to fit your hand through.
"Well, I might give you the greeting you were looking for," Ada's voice dripped with sexual tension as she utters those words towards your OWN husband.
Leon was getting impatient, the gun pointed at his head made him antsy. His hand moved slightly before he grabbed her wrist to make her drop the gun. Ada's foot flew through the air aiming for Leon's neck before he twisted and grabbed it just in time. This fight went on like this for a few heartbeats before Leon pulled his knife out on her.
Pressing it against her neck his voice grew deeper as he spoke, "A bit of advice, use knifes next time, it's better for close encounters,"
Ada could only smile as he slowly pulled the knife away strapping it back in its rightful place.
"I'm surprised, you're better than the rookie I last saw," She paced the room as she spoke to Leon.
"Yea, well, people change Ada,"
"Do they now?"
Your back faced the pair as you tried to focus on the puzzle at hand, the last few pieces were tripping you up, or maybe it was the small voice eating away at you. 'He still loves Ada.' 'You're just a filler for what he can't have.' 'You are the second choice, don't think otherwise.' Sighing heavily you tried to not focus on the past, but the present. You have a daughter to save, you can't be wallowing in your own self-pity.
"Well, why don't we test that out," The clicking of her heels stopped as she stood in front of Leon.
All your mind could do was race and think back to the events of Raccoon City. That horrid train ride was the worst ride you have ever been on. Watching Ada press her lips onto Leon's made you want to scream but watching Leon kiss her back made you want to cry. Nothing was as painful as that. Trying to steady your breathing you thought back to the kiss that you and Leon shared at the altar. That is the kiss that matters the most. Not the lousy kiss that he and Ada shared on the train. It had to, you are his wife for crying out loud, not some sleazy federal agent that teases men and almost gets them killed whenever she's around.
"Can you shut up Ada, I'm trying to figure this damn puzzle out, not listen to you ramble nonsense," She could only click her tongue.
"You should really teach your partner some manners Leon," He could snort out a small laugh.
Whipping your body around you walked over to the pair, "No Ada, I think you should really learn how to not be a liability. Every time you show up on these missions you almost get Leon killed. So why don't you go back to your little agency and stick your nose in someone else's mission. AND MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS!"
You didn't really need to yell during the last part but there's something about her stupid beautiful face that made you even more upset.
Turning around you placed the last tile in place. The door groaned as the ground shook. A few heartbeats later the door was fully open. You pulled your gun out with your flashlight underneath as you walked toward the dark and dusty room ahead.
"Y/N Wait," Leon called out for you as he jogged to catch up to you. Ada only shook her head as she shot her grappling hook up into the ceiling. The line zipped her up till she was gone.
Twisting your body from either side to side checking for anything that could harm you guys. You were very content with finishing this mission in silence. Leon on the other head was dead set and determined on figuring out what was wrong.
"Y/N stop, please," His hand landed on your elbow in hopes to stop you. Yanking it out of his grasp you tried to move forward once again.
Leon soon stopped right in front of you and grabbed your shoulders. "Y/N talk to me... what's wrong,"
Leon was always so attentive, "What was that back there?" His soft voice filled the dark room. Your arms slacked to either side of your body as your head dropped.
Small sniffles filled the room as your feelings hit you dead on. Leon's eyebrows furrowed as he heard your sniffles. "Hey, talk to me," His right hand reached up to cup your face and swipe your tears away.
You felt awful right now, you guys were on a mission to save the president's daughter, you should not be involving your own personal matters in your work life. Your shoulders moved up and down as a shiver ran down your body. Ada is not the woman he wants and loves but for some reason, it just doesn't feel that way when you see them together. The kiss during Raccoon City haunts you from the late hours of the night to the early hours of the morning. The rubber band he got you for your one-year anniversary sat heavily on your ring finger.
"I-it's just ugh- y'know what, forget it. We have more important matters at hand,"
"No. We're going to talk about it now, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong," His voice was stern as his grip tighten slightly.
"Fine! Everything about Ada makes my gut turn. I feel as if I'm not enough for you. Ada has everything I don't. I know we're married and that should mean something but- The kiss- it's just..." You ran out of breath as you revealed your hidden feelings to your husband.
Leon's grip lightened as he slowly dragged his hands down your arms to your wrists.
"Baby... You know she means nothing to me You are the one I want. You have everything she doesn't love. I married you because you have been there through everything, thick and thin. There is nothing and I mean nothing anyone can do or say that would tear me away from you. We're going to build the brightest future together, two kids, a white picket fence, maybe even a dog," Your slight laugh made Leon smile, a rare occurrence these's days, too bad you could barely see it.
Leon leaned his forehead against yours. "I love you, forever and always okay?" Leon pressed a chaste kiss against your chapped lips.
Leon could barely hear you as you whispered back to him, "Forever and always."
I spent an ungodly amount of time making this. Hello lgbt community
GOOD MORNING TUMBLRRRRRR⭐️🙆♀️